Greetings. I lurked for a while without a username, and recently registered for the site. I am still matching acronyms with terms, and terms with definitions. I’m 40. I never married and don’t have children. I suppose I’ve been going my own way my whole life without realizing it. I used to be bitter about not being seen as good enough for most women, but I am at peace with my independence now. I don’t make a lot of money, but I’m not automatically giving half of it to someone else either.
At my age, I have seen men shredded by bad relationships, men who have married, divorced, then married and divorced a second time. I have an uncle who married and divorced three times. What’s the classic quotation about insanity? Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results?
I work as a journalist, though I don’t know for how much longer. I first became aware of men’s rights as a movement when my television station did several stories on a man ordered to pay child support on children that were not his, despite having a DNA test to prove his lack of paternity. Family law has taken small steps toward fairness around here.
I have a female boss at work. In fact, all the managers are women. I found it amusing, when the current boss came on board, how all the women practically went to war to try to be in her best graces. The female manager I expected to win– won, and got a promotion.
Around here, two-thirds of women are overweight. One-in-four are morbidly obese. I see it every week at the grocery store or Target. Women waddle, not walk, but waddle through the aisles. The common uniform seems to be yoga pants, three sizes too small, paired with a t-shirt in the summer or sweatshirt in the winter, and flip-flops or boots, depending on weather. These aren’t just pear-shaped people. These are pears welded to cantaloupes and watermelons, burdened by 24-packs of soda and the largest bags of potato chips.
I don’t hate women at all. I’m just disappointed in them, in their behavior and expectations especially. One co-worker bragged she made her boyfriend chase her for a month because she didn’t think he was serious enough about wanting her. I met him recently. He’s a good guy, but not awake. I think you might call that “blue pill” (like the Matrix) or “beta” or something close to it. Another complained her boyfriend didn’t dress nicely enough for her. “Men are not peac~~~s,” I mused. A former co-worker is already back on the wine-bar circuit with her friends, just a few months after giving birth. Her husband gets stuck taking care of the baby while she has fun, but it never seems to be the other way around. I know a doctor who is married to another former co-worker. He told me he would drop everything to live in a tent tomorrow. He makes plenty of money, but his stay-at-home wife takes a lot of it. Online dating is silly. A few extra pounds really means 50 extra pounds. I estimate 90% of the women on those sites are looking for an ATM or a babysitter so they can pretend to be 20 years old again.
The worst I’ve seen, though, was a former co-worker who sat next to me for three years. She was dating a guy when I met her. He came from a rich family, but was himself not rich. She complained about the way he dressed. She lamented he needed to “woo” her more. I suppose he did, because she agreed to marry him. It was his second marriage, and her first. Then she began to theorize that she deserved nice things. “I want nice things. He needs to buy me nice things. I deserve it,” she told me. Her marriage soured quickly. Fast forward ten months or so. Her husband is out of town for a few days on a job assignment. My co-worker executed a stealth maneuver over 36 hours. She moved nearly everything out of their house and into her parents’ house and garage. Furniture, appliances, art, pool table, clothes, she moved it all out of their house. When he came home, he thought he had been robbed. In a way, he was right. She then requested divorce. He has since married a third time, and she is now on her second marriage.
I readily admit to being used by a woman for whom I crushed hard in my late 20s. She took advantage, knowing I would probably do anything for her. Never again. But I feel I’ve mostly avoided the pitfalls, the headaches, the heartaches that women are, for the most part, delivering today. Attitude is key, in my opinion. Leave the past where it belongs, be at peace with yourself, and find your way. That’s probably the only advice I would give.
Thank you for your time. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
SolidusX 3 years, 3 months ago.
