First one to get P~~~ed off loses

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Story time about a coworker named john that became a great friend.

John was a machinist and I was the programmer. We developed a friendship over time and would pull practical jokes on each other. We never stated the rule of acting like we didn’t notice. It just evolved.

For instance, if he moved my car in the parking lot and I walked out after work, I’d just look around and find my car and drive home. The next day I’d say nothing. This went on over a few years with back and forth.

Then, one day we were told that the next day we would be flying to Los Angeles to look at a milling machine to recommend purchase. It would be a day trip. Fly out in the morning and fly back in the afternoon.

So, the next morning I arrive at the airport with luggage and check it. John is hanging back and I can tell that he is really p~~~ed. (plan is working) We head down and board plane. We land in lala land and walk to the baggage carousel. John is visibly agitated at having to wait for my luggage.

The carousel starts turning and then I see my luggage and grab it. I turn around and no John. So, I proceed out to the taxi area and I see John getting in a taxi. The taxi pulls away and I see John’s hand out the window flipping me off.

Well crap, I didn’t have the address where we were going. So I hop in a taxi and tell him to take me to a waffle house. Once there I order breakfast and ask for a phone book (Yes, pre cell phones).

I call my work and get hold of the manager. He asks me where I was. I tell him I’m eating, why? He says John’s been calling, he’s at the machine and has been waiting for me. I get the business name and address and call a taxi to pick me up.

Taxi takes me to the business and I walk into the lobby. John sees me enter, stands up and we go look at the machine.

That was over 20 years ago. Neither of us have cracked yet.

Peace brothers

[Chaff/FlareParticipant 3235]

I live for that s~~~. Already told a story where I put a black mamba dildo into a persons carry on bag. Good stuff

When you find yourself in the majority, it's time to reflect.

[Anonymous 42]

Duke and Duke!

[Mr. ManParticipant 2916]

I love practical jokes between co-workers. Great story!

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Yes, the best practical jokes are when you add something.

Another coworker had a fish tank with no fish in it. Every few weeks he’d fill it up with water from a 10 gallon container. I asked why the hell do you fill it. Charles said that all the fish died 5 years earlier and he just kept refilling the tank.

So, at lunch I go to pet smart and buy 10 fish and put them in tank. I wait for Charles to notice. At 5pm it’s time to go home and I realize that the fish will need food. S~~~. I stop back in store and buy food.

I feed those damn fish for over a week. Then the day came when I heard Charles screaming down the hall. Yep, he saw something moving in the tank and about s~~~ himself.

Peace brothers

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Another one I like to do is put nail clippers on a coworkers desk.

Sit back and wait to see how he will handle it.

Peace brothers

[SlayherParticipant 2074]

My personal favorite is to spray my male coworkers with women’s perfume at the end of our night shift and then call his house and ask his significant other if he’s feeling better and will me make it in to work that evening.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Slayher wrote:

My personal favorite is to spray my male coworkers with women’s perfume at the end of our night shift and then call his house and ask his significant other if he’s feeling better and will me make it in to work that evening.

Heh, that works. Also, put a woman’s thong in a coworkers lunchbox.

This was one of John’s favorite. He loved doing it to new employees that were white knight maginas.

Works better if they don’t know who is to blame. It was John’s way of s~~~ testing new guys. Weed out the unstable.

Peace brothers

[TuneoutParticipant]

LOL,now imagine trying that s~~~ with a woman!

Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!

[HitmanParticipant]

I had a teacher many years ago who kept scotch in a listerine bottle. .He would take it out in class, gargle it and swallow. .
He always had a “sore throat “..
.
Not sure why I’m putting this here. .The pranks woke up the memory. ..

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

One thing I notice in this age is that no hazing is allowed.

Now I understand the stupid stuff that caused pain. That isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about male role models. Men must earn their spot amoung a group of men.

What appears to women to be mean is really a male social s~~~ test. Men want men at their side when the s~~~ hits the fan. How do we find these men? We haze. Best to test before the storm.

Women will never get it. When the storm hits they look to a white knight.

Peace brothers

[Nathan R. JessepParticipant 1102]

I don’t get it, guess that’s why I don’t have friends.

[Anonymous 18]

DorkShit wrote:

I call my work and get hold of the manager. He asks me where I was. I tell him I’m eating, why?

That is some cool s~~~ man. You get Chuck Norris points for that.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Nathan R. Jessep wrote:

I don’t get it, guess that’s why I don’t have friends.

Yeah, that’s why I thought of posting this. It is part of the male mentoring psyche in society. Our society is getting to the point that zero tolerance is allowed. Any perceived injustice etc.

Among men it is a sign of affection and respect. I only treat guys I respect this way.

Some coworkers thought that John and I hated each other. John would say that I was his favorite blister.

Peace brothers

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

That’s awesome.
Reminds me of this: men insult each other but don’t mean it; women compliment each other but don’t mean it.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[RyshParticipant 134]

Once had a cool prank with a co-worker. Maybe you know the horror movie “The Grudge”, which was new back then. We had both seen it, and it had scared the s~~~ out of us. Once in a while, he would send me an email with a scary screenshot from that movie.

One day, I had a really good idea. I got some walkie-talkies, put them to “no signalling sound”. Usually, he was the first one in the office, so I made sure I was there before him. Since it was winter, it was still dark. I put one of the radios right under his desk, switched off the lights again, left the office and hid in a neighbouring room.

Soon enough, he arrived. I could hear him settling down, booting his computer. I waited for about 10 minutes to make sure he was sitting there, totally relaxed. And alone.

Then I used my walkie-talkie and made that scary sound that the Grudge ghost always makes right before someone gets killed. WOAH, his panic scream was at an incredible volume!

[It’sallbsParticipant]

I don’t really. Why? because 99% of men our white knights & manginas. All my mates were to lesser or greater degrees, my colleagues were my father is. On this site we are a minority.

http://www.leavemeansleave.eu

[Author]

Posts