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Anonymous 3 years, 10 months ago.
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Anonymous1Hi All. relatively new to the forum.
i’ll get right into it. about a year and a half ago i found myself coming out of a terrible relations~~~ and ended up losing my job. I really did hit rock bottom and started gambling, racking up 20k worth of debt.i have since ceased gambling and got myself another job. i earn £40k a year working in the city, but my rent and travel costs eat away at most of my salary and i haven’t even began paying my debts off. i’m 31 and i have completely ruined my life, and i’m honestly struggling to see a way out of this. it’s extreme but a few months i was seriously considering suicide (i’m past that now), but i’m really struggling to get the motivation to even beging paying my debts off.
could anyone offer some advice for someone in this situation? just a few words of encouragement or a reason to believe i can get out of this.
I honestly believe if i’d have found MGTOW in 2014 i’d have never got myself into that relations~~~, i’d have never lost my job and i would never have racked up huge gambling debts. This really is as bad as it gets.
worth noting that i’ve never had a gambling issue before, and i didn’t go through any form of treatment to cease gambling, and i have not gambled since. it seems to me like it was more of PTSD reaction type thing.
Was humiliating to write this.
Thanks
Hey man, don’t feel humiliated, s~~~ happens and having the courage to help yourself speaks volumes.
Don’t think I can offer a great deal of actual financial advice but I’m sure others will be a long soon and I’ll be interested in what they say.
What I can really say is that many have been in situations like yours and worse in the past and have gotten through them. a lot of the time it comes down to little changes and managing to keep your attitude positive that can be the difference in you getting your s~~~ back together. some questions you can maybe ask yourself:
can I go a bit more spartan in regards to lifestyle to reduce living costs and outgoings?
Can I bring in any more money, even a little?
can I reduce my rent or travel costs by moving or talking to my landlord?You’ll get through it, and you’ll come out the other end with a lot of satisfaction and confidence.
Anonymous42joller984, I know how you feel and it sucks! I lost ALL my stocks in the crash (good thing they bailed out wall street and handed me the bill) I’m also watching my FREE AND CLEAR real estate investment totally tank as it’s on the market at BELOW half price, making the effectual tax bill more than double what it should be. Not to worry My 8+ credit rating can’t even get me a FIVE DOLLAR LOAN! It’s time to invest in bullets and guns, after all they just may see me as a value when it comes to making soilent green.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE! America is in fact and by all indications DYING.
I’ve stopped paying taxes and I am considering a burning permit to liquidate my worthless American property. The fire sale didn’t work, the only thing left is FIRE. (not an insurance scam, there is none)
I will never push to better my financial worth as GANGBANKSTERS ARE ALWAYS THERE TO STEAL MY WEALTH! F~~~ THE FED, AND F~~~ AMERICA!
Also I’ll be disappearing from the internet in 6 days just to eliminate one more bill.
My advice to you is not to worry and invest in bullets.
Can you give us a little more info? For example, have you gone scorched earth on selling non-essential things like toys, extravagant vehicles, etc? Have you cut down your meal plan to frank and beans?
Do you have an old 401k you could roll over and take a loan from? Perhaps any cash value life insurance you could take a loan from?
One thing to look at is getting a less costly job. I’m talking about the one that requires lots of fancy clothes, has long hours that you’re eating out all day every day, commuting a long ways, or is forcing you to live in a high cost area.
My advice to you is not to worry and invest in bullets.
Damn straight!9mm, 5.56×45, .22LR, 45 ACP, 40 S&W in that order. Even if you don’t own a firearm, having a crate (1000 rounds/20 boxes of 50 rounds) of 9mm ammo is enough to give you some trading material, you can use to barter for food, water, clothing for a few months at least.
Blue-Pill Virgin: Women hate me! That's what it is.
MGTOW Man: Hate them back; it works for me.
Anonymous1appreciate the replies guys.
Can you give us a little more info? For example, have you gone scorched earth on selling non-essential things like toys, extravagant vehicles, etc? Have you cut down your meal plan to frank and beans?
i’ve sold my car (was only worth £600), but obviously its the savings on fuel, insurance etc. I have nothing left of any value i could sell, although i am holding onto a £750 acoustic guitar i’m reluctant to sell.
i work in an investment bank and have a heavily subsidised canteen (luckily i got this job before my credit went to s~~~, or i wouldnt be working here – banks and bad credit don’t mix in any capacity). Eating at home, i go as cheap as possible.Do you have an old 401k you could roll over and take a loan from? Perhaps any cash value life insurance you could take a loan from?
unfortunately not.
One thing to look at is getting a less costly job. I’m talking about the one that requires lots of fancy clothes, has long hours that you’re eating out all day every day, commuting a long ways, or is forcing you to live in a high cost area.
I may need to downgrade to a lower cost property – its close to the train station which has driven the rent right up. would be less convenient but i can’t really afford convenience at the moment. I work in IT, in the City, and there isn’t much of that type of work around in my local Town.
Anonymous1It’s time to invest in bullets and guns, after all they just may see me as a value when it comes to making soilent green.
being from the UK, i couldn’t purchase ammo without a gun license, and getting a gun license over here is almost impossible. I also have depression on my medical records, so they wouldn’t touch me.
what kind of debt do you have? if it’s on credit cards then you can avoid interest for at least a while by getting balance transfer to new cards offering interest free periods. you will need decent credit rating for this though.
is there potential for overtime at work?
any direct debits you can cancel like gym membership, phone contracts, TV packages, online games etc? you can always reconsider these further down the line.
Anonymous1what kind of debt do you have? if it’s on credit cards then you can avoid interest for at least a while by getting balance transfer to new cards offering interest free periods. you will need decent credit rating for this though.
mixture of credit cards, overdraft, and a loan. My credit ratings already gone to s~~~. luckily at the time of applying for my current job i still had reasonable credit. I have considered bankrupcy but that might cause more issues than it would resolve. I’d have problems renting, and i would almost certainly lose my job.
is there potential for overtime at work?
any direct debits you can cancel like gym membership, phone contracts, TV packages, online games etc? you can always reconsider these further down the line.I’ve worked as much overtime as possible. I have an android box with kodi setup, so i dont pay for anything i watch. gym membership is relatively cheap, and does keep me that little bit more motivated. Realistically its going to be
incredibly difficultimpossible to get out of this mess.You can try posting on here
there are people in that subbreddit that know the ins and out of what options you have on a financial level and should be able to tell you if you can get any help and how to manage if you can’t.
Anonymous1You can try posting on here
there are people in that subbreddit that know the ins and out of what options you have on a financial level and should be able to tell you if you can get any help and how to manage if you can’t.
Cheers fella, i’ll take a look.
Was humiliating to write this.
Then you expect more from yourself – which is very good. This isn’t a “humiliating” story and your 20s are for making mistakes. I once heard a man say “make lots of mistakes…. and pay, pay, pay for them”. Reflecting on that quote, I can’t say I would recommend f~~~ups, but at least you can not feel SO bad for making any, and some men have made many worse.
i’m 31 and i have completely ruined my life,
No you haven’t. You’ve only been an adult for 13 years.
That will double when you’re 44.So everything that happened since 18, can be reversed and improved by 44 – or sooner.
It ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings.
Consider two jobs for a while. Get one, and moonlight as a bartender or something like that. Even if it’s just 2 days week. Use the extra job to pay all your s~~~ down. I didn’t do “just one job” until I was 36. Always had at least two irons in the fire.
I honestly believe if i’d have found MGTOW in 2014 i’d have never got myself into that relations~~~, i’d have never lost my job and i would never have racked up huge gambling debts. This really is as bad as it gets.
Be careful with what you blame yourself for. If you think about it, you can discard most of that baggage right now. You’re not responsible for her f~~~ ups – even though you are partially paying for them.
Just focus on paying for your own mistakes. Not hers.
it seems to me like it was more of PTSD reaction type thing.
In 2009, I thought it was the end of the f~~~ing world for me too. The universe was testing me and it all happened at once. My car caught (electrical) fire – while I was driving on a deserted freeway with no phone reception. Lost my job and I was in a strange country without papers or the basic right to get another job. I couldn’t even pump coffee for a living if I wanted to – or get a s~~~ job as a waiter. I had fewer rights than a homeless person. Fewer rights than a homeless person.
You can’t fall off the floor. And that’s the BEST news of all.
No bulls~~~.
Be strong, brosus.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Work 2 jobs, work whenever and where ever you can. Now you have to buckle down and double down on work. You dug the hole and now you have to fill it in bit by bit.
Been were you were at 27. The pussy was expensive because they expect you to wait on them hand an foot. Then when they discover you are not brimming with cash they bail unless they see that you will work yourself to death for them.
So I was fortunate that the taco left. I cashed out my 401k, paid off all the debts, then worked 2 jobs for 5 years. Decided that freedom and cash was better than pussy and debt slavery.
Now at 51 I have a s~~~load in the bank and investments, a paid house and paid car. Plus whatever toys or trips I may want. You are a man. So you have no support networks which will throw money or services at you. To be honest the government could give a s~~~ less about a single man. Then again men generally don’t play the victim card. The thing that kept me going was a couple of thoughts.F~~~. YOU. ALL.
I. WILL. SURVIVE.
I. WILL. NOT. GIVE. UP.When the s~~~ hits the fan there are those who lie down in their graves and those who won’t stay in their graves.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
F~~~. YOU. ALL.
I. WILL. SURVIVE.
I. WILL. NOT. GIVE. UP.So yeah, along with that I would highly suggest your lowering your living arrangements, be one step above homeless. Become a minimalist, go Spartan. Congrats for reaching out joller984.
Work 2 jobs, work whenever and where ever you can.
I’d suggest this. The beauty of a second job is you will have less free time to be tempted to waste money. If you are making minimum payments now and suddenly find a way to take home another 150-200 a week you’ll be dug out in two years tops. The longer you drag the debts out the more interest you are going to end up paying so you might as well buckle down and hit them hard as early as possible.
I don’t know – can you default on your debts? Bankruptcy is one of the best things in the World, regardless of society trying to convince you otherwise. It’s a no brainer really. Pooft – and it’s gone!
Here is my story:
First I got addicted to psychotropic meds and alcohol, arrested for DV, then I got fired, was out of work for 2 years, had 45K in debt and mortgage on top of that. And then my XW ran off with my daughter, I got my license suspended for drunk driving.Then I got bankrupt – wiped out 45K of debt, rented half of my house for mortgage, got divorced on good terms, got a job, reinstated my license.
Now I am free, no debts, no mortgage payment, money in the bank, don’t have to support a parasite, spend every weekend with my daughter.
If I could do it – so can you. Stay put and keep coming back here – this is great place for healing. Free therapy
proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome
Also I’ll be disappearing from the internet in 6 days just to eliminate one more bill.
Please tell me you’re kidding?
Never lose sight of what brought you here.
Tower, please don’t. You’ll turn into a caveman without the Internet access
Blue pillers need you!!!proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome
Also I’ll be disappearing from the internet in 6 days just to eliminate one more bill.
Please tell me you’re kidding?
Answeeeer meeee damn it!!!! You’ve played a major role in my male preservation mission as well as others,I know you have choices to make but not being a contributor any longer to this site will be devastating.I hope you can reconsider….
Never lose sight of what brought you here.
Anonymous1quite overwhelmed and very greatful for the replies. the advice you’ve given me is top quality (i’m absolutely inspired). some of the posts i’ve read several times, and will probably read several more (code bunker – read ur post about 18 times now).
Keymaster, Code Bunker – yep it is time to rid myself of the blame/shame/ and forgive myself. this is something i’ve had a really hard time doing, and it makes up a large part of my depression, and its whats keeping me stuck. so many times i’ve told myself to let go of this, but so many times i’ve held onto it. i don’t want to blame myself anymore, it doesnt help. it’s done, now its time for action.
as suggested now by several of you i should get a second job. i’ll be looking for work this weekend. bar work, retail, whatever – i’ll find something.
It’s f~~~ing cool as s~~~ to come home after a full saturday and have $350 in cash in your pocket. F~~~ the tax man…
i’ve got a mate that does gardening in the summer. it’s an easy gig, cash in hand. f~~~ the tax man.
Now the best thing is to get your depression under control.
I’ve been on welbutrin for over 18 years.. I do well on it.i’ve been on citalopram in the past and its helped. time to see the doctor again i reckon.
Easy on the booze and no weed.
alcohol is hurting me right now. it’s the late night hours when i really get into my own head. they f~~~ing terrify me (stuff of nightmares). i’ve never been a massive drinker, but booze dulls it. this has to stop. a 2nd job would eliminate this thinking (and drinking) time, which i currently have in abundance.
First I got addicted to psychotropic meds and alcohol, arrested for DV, then I got fired, was out of work for 2 years, had 45K in debt and mortgage on top of that. And then my XW ran off with my daughter, I got my license suspended for drunk driving.
Then I got bankrupt – wiped out 45K of debt, rented half of my house for mortgage, got divorced on good terms, got a job, reinstated my license.
Now I am free, no debts, no mortgage payment, money in the bank, don’t have to support a parasite, spend every weekend with my daughter.
quite a story Russky. you’ve been to the bottom and found your way. i’m inspired to do the same.
Email me if you need to chat.
Your bro Stealthy…
Hitman.. send his guy a beer for me.
thanks man. appreciated.
You can’t fall off the floor. And that’s the BEST news of all.
So true. i can pick myself up off it though.
i’ve been scrolling the forums here for over a month now. it’s hard to put into words, but something in me is changing, i can feel it. it sounds cheesy, but i feel like my eyes are finally open. A daily dose of MGTOW has become has become somthing thats vital to me.
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