Figuring out where to go from here

[MalfunctionNeedInputParticipant 257]

I had a decent sized blurb here about my situation but somehow clicked backspace and it all went away (damn laptop).

Divorced June 2015 not after having a child with an ex-wife of 9 years (1/3 of my life as I’m 31 currently)
They live 1100 miles from me now and I pay child support of course; a f~~~ing huge damper on things I’d love to do or buy
Haven’t had it as bad as some despite paying for lots of s~~~ for her and ignoring my wants for a big majority of the time. Paid for her education about over 2 years out of pocket and she has a masters degree in Accounting so at least she can make enough money to raise our daughter, yet I’m paying a f~~~ing s~~~ ton, relative to me, of tax free money. (F~~~ that p~~~es me off to no end!) I’m sure she makes more than I do now easily…started her own business since we split; must be f~~~ing nice. She may be lying, most likely, but apparently her life is all going according to plan and man that p~~~es me off. Meanwhile I’m still trying to figure out how to live in a house I can’t sell, too little equity, want to save up now that I control my own finances but have quite a bit in bills, and while paying child support to a woman I’d rather never have contact again with raising kid I don’t even see except through an occasional cell phone pic that I’m not really attached too…It’s not that bad, it’s regret that’s killing me…wtf was I thinking; why wasn’t I thinking when I had everything laid out in front of me playing out just like others before had experienced?

I realized before that women are women and will exercise control over men if allowed, even if you don’t think so and trust them yet somehow decided, or deceived myself, that my now ex-wife wasn’t like that.

Anyway, I’ve learned quite a bit here and hope to continue to learn and to avoid any potential issues in the future with women who may think I’m the next sucker allowed to support them and their “ambitions.” Your stories and experiences are much appreciated.

Although I’m not sure where to go from here as I’m sorta bored with everything going on in my life. I feel like I need a huge change but am too afraid to make a move. I guess I need more time to think.

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. --Einstein

[WallyParticipant]

The red pill rage is different for everybody so give yourself a break. I’m sure others will give better direction than me but take care of your mind and your body by exercising and reading some books you find interesting. Rediscovering some hobbies that may have gone by the wayside the last 9 years will help keep you busy and help find fulfillment.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[MalfunctionNeedInputParticipant 257]

Welcome to MGTOW, I know how you feel, I am in the same situation. Don’t be hard on yourself, you did nothing wrong, we get married thinking that’s the girl who will be the companion of our life, make a child, bust our asses to be able to afford what makes her happy ( the house, the SUV, the stuff ), but truth is, they are never satisfied, and will kick you on the curb in a heartbeat on the first sign of trouble or for an upgrade man. You did nothing wrong, you did what you thought was the right thing because of the brainwashing we have since childhood on life and marriage. Your divorce is relatively recent, don’t rush things and don’t over think, give yourself time. Eventually you will find your way. Be compassionate to yourself, love yourself and take care of yourself.

Thank you

I’ve always been the kind of person who is good at supporting others and doing what I can for others yet am not very good at the above bold. This is all new to me as the last time I was alone or in a relatively similar situation was 2003-2005 or so at the ages of 18-21 or so in the Navy and had no real goals or ambitions. I didn’t much enjoy my time and when I found, or was found, by my soon thereafter wife it felt like something I could work towards. I never really had any goals so my wife became my goal, pretty stupid to many I’m sure but she was a more goal oriented person, ambitious person so it worked, albeit at my expense. I mostly noticed this after getting out of the Navy and getting a real job in a different state (from WA to TX). She hated everything about it here where I still live and everything from then on was for her. It didn’t bother me too much until this last year when I just got fed up with the constant threats of divorce during the last 3 years.

What I’m learning now though is yes I can do it alone and I can achieve goals I set and I can save up my own money. Someday I will achieve what I want. All of this though came at a relatively great cost and the expense of a now bastard kid living with 2 generations of divorced mothers who apparently think it’s normal. It’s really f~~~ed up that it had to end up this way but I truly believe that besides her being a woman, her coming from a divorced dynamic family where mom was the matriarch, men are scum and divorce is ok, is why things turned out the way they did. Then again, despite my parents still being married after 30+ years…their relationship appears really s~~~ty to me and I’m glad I won’t be in their shoes later in life.

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. --Einstein

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Thanks for you post. I have been there and feel your pain. MGTOW is a great place to find. The Archives are very helpful. It is good to have words and ideas to process what has happened. The pain of dealing with the “red pill” is much better than living in “blue pill hell.”

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome! I’m you glad you found us, but sorry for your suffering and distress.

MalfunctionNeedInput wrote:

Although I’m not sure where to go from here as I’m sorta bored with everything going on in my life. I feel like I need a huge change but am too afraid to make a move. I guess I need more time to think.

I believe we are built, by our genetic programming, to embrace change and turn it into a positive force for growth. Your path to growth will reveal itself in time. Hang in there.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[OldscoundrellParticipant 412]

Going through the “lost phase” is seemingly bad while passing through it.

The good news is that while you are in this phase. You are a blank slate, not tied down from previous commitments. Except the manageable one of financially supporting your kid.

Accepting what is outside of your control is one of the hardest parts. But the more you let go of those emotional reactions to what already is, the more room you have for your own rediscovery of what else life has to offer.

So it boils down to letting go to be able to grab onto something new.

It is a process that can’t be rushed. But seeing the right direction will allow you to get there quicker.

Keep your head held high, because you only did what you thought was right.

[MalfunctionNeedInputParticipant 257]

I appreciate all the support as nobody else seems to be giving me any, it’s like nobody cares unless you’ve been there and have decided MGTOW. Other men just sorta think, “that’s life, pick up the pieces and try again; you’ll eventually find another good woman.” Nobody says to try something new like forsake women, acquire currency, enjoy your own life without bondage.

In fact my mother can only seem to shame me, probably because she won’t be seeing her grand daughter much at all, let alone the fact that I probably won’t be having any other grand children for her…My mom can suck it!

Wish my dad would just divorce her already; I plan on talking with him this Thanksgiving about MGTOW to see what he thinks although he’s been married so long I doubt it’ll have much effect on him. My younger brother, he may understand, he needs to continue to avoid women at all costs (a ball of naivete and would be like a lamb led to the slaughter).

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. --Einstein

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome brother,
I’m new to MGTOW as well but am much older. What helped me was cutting off all contact with people ( as far as possible) “temporary ghosting” and going thru a period introspection. Asking myself what do “I” want now? Who am I now? If I could do anything I want, what would I do? What makes ME happy? “I” strain is not a bad thing.
Read the forums. Find out what other men are doing and saying and then formulate YOUR plan.
Read, post, learn. You are in the right place.

[BufordParticipant 935]

I can relate to much of what you’re probably going through. As i said in my own introduction your life will come back. Just remember, men can live simply and with far less than the majority of women, while at the same time finding a greater sense of ease with themselves.

How much of what you have traditionally demanded of yourself is connected directly to how you hope other people (particularly women) perceive you? Let go of that nonsense and concern yourself with how you perceive yourself. Do what interests you and don’t be worried about what other people think. Find that ease that comes from being yourself; for yourself.

So what if she’s doing well? All that ‘doing well’ means in the modern world is a lifetime of chasing your own tail.

"This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags. - Sheriff Buford T. Justice"

[bigboy83Participant 11312]

Malfunction need input: I like your avatar.

First your angry
Then you grieve
Then you heal
Then you live

Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.

[Author]

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