Feeling better about myself.

[Repulsive RalfParticipant 356]

Hi men, Don’t know whether to claim I am a bit of a fraud, or that I have always been MGTOW, but what I can thank you guys for is to make me feel a whole lot better about myself and the situation I have always had in life.
I had a bad introduction to relationships via my mother who had abandoned me twice and put me in children’s homes by the time I was five. What I always considered a negative, was that I therefore lacked the social confidence that women require to find you attractive, but it also gave me the wariness of a wild cat when it comes to sizing up others, self preservation, I thought it was a curse, but maybe its been a blessing?
I had the looks and the athletic physique, the endearing smile that would attract attractive young women, but I didn’t have a clue when it came to the things women like to hear, I would find it embarrassing the way I would disappoint their advances, so right from my teenage years, I would avoid women, I still love English motorbikes, back then it was my life and a good excuse to dress like a Mad Max extra, therefore aiding my attempts to hold women away. But at the same time, finding love was my only ever ambition, I wanted that family and that feeling of being wanted and belonging that I never knew as a child, I asked a girl to marry me when I was six, “I’m not marrying anybody from this school” was the reply that gave me my first indication that finding love was not going to be that easy.
I did have a few sexual relationships in my early 20’s, a girl who would ring me up when she wanted sex for instance, but this wasn’t what I wanted, I wanted the love I saw in those old Doris Day films or from watching Bewitched, whilst I do not deny such women must exist, I never met one, every girlfriend would be a pretty exterior hiding lies and negativity that they would waste no time in exposing to me. Whilst my friends would overlook women’s unpleasantness, I would always run a mile, no way did I want to ever re-enact the horror of being locked in the same house as somebody who hated you, (my stepfather).
I joined a religion at 28 which ended the FWB type relationships, but did seem to open a door to Christian women with a more traditional place in the world, having kept their beautiful virtues rather than abandon them to become materialistic sex objects as feminism encourages. But even in Christianity I could see “love” as viewed by women still had to come with provisos, in the christian world this being how “Spiritual” you were, your standing in the congregation, etc, I did meet somebody I though would become the wife I always hoped for, but others in the religion convinced her she could do better than me. So I left.
That was in my mid thirties where I came out into the world to found single women no longer existed, or if they did, I was totally invisible to them, besides, nobody would have compared to “the one” I lost.
Pretty much my whole life then I have felt a loser, a failure as a man because I couldn’t get the “family” I felt everybody should have, so I just did man things, doing up my Classic English Convertible, building old motorcycles out of bits in the front room, playing computer games, but mainly going to work each day.
Now I am in my fifties and facing up to being alone for ever, I did try the dating sites, women at my age are all crazy!, I am now starting to think I had the best life when I see some of the guys at work doing all the overtime because they cannot stand being at home with their wives, the guys with no money because they have to pay child support. One of the guys at work did say to me when he heard I was dating, “why do you want to do that?, you are so cool being on your own”.
I would love for women to be what I naively hoped them to be, but they are not, I have been holding out for a fantasy, but the likes of you guys are helping me to turn the negative view I have of myself into a positive view, thanks.

[AkhilleusParticipant 2486]

Welcome home bro no shame in what you went thru everyone on here has similar stories. Grab a pint.

Aloha means family you don't leave family behind. Who will be the next Draconarius for MGTOW? MGTOW = brothers = acceptance = belonging

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

You’re welcome. And you are welcomed.

I noted you used the words “feeling”, “feel”, and “felt” a lot. These are feminine in nature and you would do well to begin to eliminate them from your lexicon.

Substitue “knowing”, “know”, and “knew” instead. Men deal in facts. Women deal in feelings.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[JVBParticipant]

Welcome sir. You have been through a lot but your positive road forward is in front of you. Good to have you.

Peace is > piece.

[TuneoutParticipant]

Welcome brother,I too had a mother that screwed off when I was young,lucky for me I had a good father and saw women’s true nature early on.

Your better off with your hobbies and a few good friends
believe me even with a broad you’d still feel alone.

Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome bro .

Dude do you have a twin .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[BlakeGuyParticipant 287]

Embrace who you are, seems like you caught a break.

Let the good times roll

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Excellent read. I was the one who welcomed you to the forums by email , and I was wondering why you called yourself “repulsive” – because your picture certainly isn’t – but I wasn’t going to saw “Hello Repulsive Ralf”….. so I called you just “Ralf”. Thank you for the introduction and explaining this was a state of mind.

Repulsive Ralf wrote:

lacked the social confidence that women require to find you attractive

I once read a comment on youtube that I will never forget. A man who wasn’t very handsome or wealthy said: “I used to feel pretty bad about not being good enough, or handsome enough, or rich enough for women to want to date or marry me. But now I am inclined to celebrate it.”

It spoke volumes.

Repulsive Ralf wrote:

but it also gave me the wariness of a wild cat when it comes to sizing up others, self preservation, I thought it was a curse, but maybe its been a blessing?

It’s definitely a blessing.

Repulsive Ralf wrote:

One of the guys at work did say to me when he heard I was dating, “why do you want to do that?, you are so cool being on your own”.

I worked with a guy named George a few years ago. He was married with a kid and another on the way. Work was his escape and he would often be gloomy about the pressures. He would listen intently as I spoke about unmarried life, and I would listen intently to him.

One Friday, he asked what I was doing on the weekend, and I told him I wasn’t sure… and probably was going to hop in the car and take a weekend road trip somewhere. He said “when I grow up, I want to be you”. I laughed and thought it was awesome. He didn’t laugh back.

A big welcome to MGTOW and the forums, Ralf.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Repulsive RalfParticipant 356]

blade wrote:

Welcome bro .

Dude do you have a twin .

Not that I know of, maybe a Doppelganger, that picture is 20 years old anyway, though I still look pretty much the same, just with greyer hair, but that time of my life represents the time I would have really wanted a girlfriend but no woman would even look at me, even though I had my own house, flash car, etc, there was obviously something about me that was repulsive to women but I cannot quite put my finger on it. By 37 the social etiquette shortcomings of my youth were pretty much under control.
Shoes on the other foot now, I get women messaging me on the dating sites and I turn them all down, now they are the repulsive ones now we are middle aged.

[Anonymous 3]

Welcome to the forum Ralf.

A strange thing happens here (to an outsider), and it is that people change their avatar often, name and/or picture. It happens because of ghosting, so that we remain anonymous and avoid the wrath of the gynocentric society.
But it also means that we are free to be whatever we want, and we can remake ourselves whenever we want. To change the image we project of ourselves is like changing one’s clothes.

Thus it is in your hands to change your avatar. You would do good to take out your picture for security reasons. And take out the “Repulsive” part of the name, because that is not the man we see in the writing.

[Freeman_KParticipant 3524]

Repulsive Ralf wrote:

I’m not marrying anybody from this school

Welcome, ha, read your intro yesterday but this line is still sticking with me.

She was only 6 years old, but she sure as hell knew how hypergamy works.

The choices we make, not the chances we take, determine our destiny

[Repulsive RalfParticipant 356]

Freeman_K wrote:

Repulsive Ralf wrote:

I’m not marrying anybody from this school

Welcome, ha, read your intro yesterday but this line is still sticking with me.

She was only 6 years old, but she sure as hell knew how hypergamy works.

I could understand if this was some inner city school, but this was the a tiny exclusive school in the village of Knockholt in Kent, even the house I was living in had a two story stables.
I thought about that girl every night until I was about 9 and could no longer remember her pretty little face.

[Repulsive RalfParticipant 356]

Anonymous wrote:

Welcome to the forum Ralf.

A strange thing happens here (to an outsider), and it is that people change their avatar often, name and/or picture. It happens because of ghosting, so that we remain anonymous and avoid the wrath of the gynocentric society.
But it also means that we are free to be whatever we want, and we can remake ourselves whenever we want. To change the image we project of ourselves is like changing one’s clothes.

Thus it is in your hands to change your avatar. You would do good to take out your picture for security reasons. And take out the “Repulsive” part of the name, because that is not the man we see in the writing.

Thats a nice complement, thank you, the “Repulsive” part is a p~~~ take though of all the women who do indeed find me repulsive because I dont earn enough or wear the latest fashion or whatever manly virtues are important to the modern woman?
I might change my picture then though. What is ghosting anyway?

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Repulsive Ralf wrote:

What is ghosting anyway?

Noun or verb. Making oneself scarce. Unplugging from the societal matrix, turning one’s back on all forms of cultural bombardment, and living “off the grid” as it were – either in attitude, or actuality – and making no overtures about it.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Repulsive Ralf wrote:

“Repulsive” part is a p~~~ take though of all the women who do indeed find me repulsive because I dont earn enough or wear the latest fashion or whatever manly virtues are important

A p~~~ take / sense of humor is even more important.

When you ask women, “manly virtues” are whatever is USEFUL to her and turns you into a utility. It’s never about YOU, she’s only thinking about herself.

• A man should always pay for ME.
• “Be a man” and hang this for ME.
• A real man wouldn’t say that to ME.
• Carry this for ME.
• Open this nailpolish for ME.
• You’re not a real man unless you fight ME.
• A man should propose to ME.
• Pull the chair out and hold the door open for ME.

Pretty standard, and simple to understand really.
Simply don’t do any of it, and exactly the same man is “not a real man”.

When others speak of “manly virtues” you are lacking…. it’s never really about you. They are speaking about themselves.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 3]

Repulsive Ralf wrote:

What is ghosting anyway?

Say that you work in a large company, the kind where if you say the wrong thing you’ll trigger the sjw and feminist. Being open about your true opinions will only get you fired.

Ghosting is the realization that you dont owe nobody an explanation or any information about your private life.

Let them think whatever they want. Usually you act in the most blank and transparent way, blending in, without making noise about anything significant.

That is how one survives in a dictatorship. And we do live in a gynocentric dictatorship. The thought police is every woman, mangina or white knight aground you. They are the new stasi, but dont get you arrested (yet). They just get you labeled and do everything they can to harm you.

So, if you can be hurt, ghost. Disapear in the morass of humanity.

[Repulsive RalfParticipant 356]

Actually I do work somewhere very large, and very important, but I stick my head above the parapet over far more contentious criticism’s of the ism pushers than this, some people at work warn me to be careful. To be honest, I have nothing that wonderful to live for at my age, evil flourishes if good men say nothing apparently, I believe I am in a position to be slightly more reckless than a younger man who still needs to pay off a mortgage or some such. Jesus did say to be cautious as a serpent however as the New World Order takes control so I will have to weigh things up.

[Knight ErrantParticipant 179]

Great read, an inspiring story. Thank you and welcome!

I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

[Author]

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