Hello all,
For the longest time I really did think I was very much by myself in my ways of thinking – even from a young age of 21, I never felt compelled to join in with the other young lads and soldiers in their bravado. I would stand quietly at the rear, not through shyness or through lack of confidence, but because something in me felt no need to “broadcast” my presence so loudly. At the time, I didn’t quite understand what was going on, as the Red Pill was not quite digested (although perhaps it was stuck somewhere halfway?)
I grew up from very humble beginnings, a child of divorce at 4 years old and although my dad was around more than you might think, I was unfortunately brought up by my mother dominantly. Whilst she is a wonderful lady and very feminine (caring, compassion, nurturing etc) I do believe that I was influenced TOO much by this as a young boy and teenager growing up. For some reason, I argued enormously with my dad and disagreed with him on MANY ideals. That was, until, I actually became a young and realised the truth of it.
I am VERY much like my now deceased father. My instinct and “nature” agreed with him, but my “upbringing” resisted it. I truly believe if I had never joined the Military, I may well still be a White Knight or have the Blue Bill firmly shoved up my arse.
As a “late bloomer”, I did not really bother much with women until I joined the services, where my confidence was unleashed. As a 6ft 2″ chap, my physical stature wasn’t enormous but I had an underlying physical strength which bulked out enormously once I did Military training, as well as sports like Rugby, Boxing and Basketball for the Services. During this time, I also studied with the Open University, completing a Bsc(Hons) with a 2:1 pass, before leaving to read a Masters in Space Engineering and finally, a Doctorate.
Unfortunately, during my service I succumbed to a spine injury which limited my career potential in the Forces. After spending at least 5 years with pain / sciatica, my inner stoicism kept me on the path to achieve my studies and fuel my drives. I left the services 3 years ago and with my injury combined, I sadly felt the dissolving Blue Pill ethics start to digest and my confidence was knocked – even as an ex-serviceman with qualifications, I had trouble getting jobs as I was deemed “over qualified” and if I hadn’t of made wise investment choices as a younger man, I may have been in a bit of trouble.
However, within the past year, I feel the blue pill has been overthrown by the might of the Crimson once more and from my many life lessons I feel in a MUCH more grounded place to remain firmly entrenched with the ideals. I am very happily single, debt free, have my own little place and I am the master of my own destiny. I then came across this website and, after reading the forums for a while decided to join. And here I am.
I am hoping to enjoy some lively debates and being in a community of like-minded people! As part of this introduction, I would like to ask a question in regards to the Red / Blue pill philosophy. Has anyone else found that they have gone down the path of the Red pill…only to return to Blue pill but then back to red? As I have mentioned above, I feel mine was due to my injury knocking my confidence and I am wondering if anyone has had similar experiences? Is it even a Red-Blue-Red phase, or just a “betazation phase” ?
I look forward to your responses!
Marriage? No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.
SMAD 4 years, 9 months ago.
