Every gold digger’s man of dreams

[ZoidbergParticipant 965]

I have found this personal ad in a local paper, and it blew my mind. It goes something like this in my translation:

Comfortably off man, 80, with a house and a garden, is waiting for a simple, modest, poor lady’s detailed letter of introduction. No age limit. I do not have children, my wealth is inheritable. Write “Chivalrous.”

Geez, 80 years old, seems to know the nature of the beast, and yet, he is willing to sign away his wealth in exchange for…what? Some care (and company)? What do you think?

Meanwhile, in the mind of a woman somewhere…

Possible target detected. Analyzing... Done.

Favorable conditions found:
(1) Well off
(2) On the verge of death
(3) Single
(4) Has no dependents
(5) Wealth acquirable
(6) No age limit
(7) No weight limit (implicit)
(8) Chivalrous

:: Target desirable ::

Target locked.
Loading profile ‘BestBehavior’... OK.
Starting emulators: simplicity, modesty, friendliness, caring.
$ Gold digging initiated $

[TuneoutParticipant]

Sad,not even any family so you have to turn to this?

I’d rather just hire an escort and give my wealth to charity.

This one that I see occasionally tells me about one of her clients that does just so.

He’ll get her to come over,keep him company,cook him a meal then she leaves.Smart.

Better than some c~~~ of a care aid or gold digging bitch IMO.

Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Yeah, the big flaw in his logic is that the woman won’t get the cash and prizes until he is dead. What’s her incentive to keep him alive? How does that translate into her taking care of him? It incentives her to let him die as soon as possible.

Order the good wine

[RedRojasParticipant 559]

So at work last week, this forensic nurse tells me this joke that she needs to find a wealthy older man who’s on the verge of dying so that she can win cash & prizes. Then she tells me her plan wouldn’t work with a younger wealthy guy because it’s taking too long to leech off his wealth with all the legal battles going on. So she tells me this joke and gives me this nervous laugh and she says “hey, i know it’s mean, but times are hard, right?” I just kept silent and gave her a blank stare in her eyes. I am never ever ever getting married, these bitches aren’t getting one single f~~~ing penny from me!

Consistency is victory - Ultra Magnus

[Anonymous 43]

dudes, I’m suiting up, hand me those grapefruits, pass me that bra…ace bandages on muh junk, come on boys, wrap me up tighter, thghter ok that’s good. You, get busy with the wax, just pour the whole 55 gallon drum on me, I need to feel smooth and silky…make up! wheres the make up artist….oh s~~~, get me a wig, ahhh these heels pinch, get size 14 for f~~~’s sake

[bigboy83Participant 11312]

Like i tell my friends who are obsess on getting a girlfriend, “just go buy one.”

Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.

[SNUZParticipant 114]

That would be funny if he’s a life long MGTOW, and just trolling the local new ads, just to see the gold bricking c~~~ responses he gets.

[Nathan R. JessepParticipant 1102]

Guy is a genius – play this gold-digger along until the day of the wedding – BAM! change the locks and phone number.

[ZoidbergParticipant 965]

@taxguy: Good point, I forgot about that one. To a woman, he is better off dead at this stage.

@snuz: The sad part is that he probably is not trolling. My guess is that his health is failing him, and he is looking for some support from the “fair” sex.

@redrojas: Your story reminds me of what I heard at work. One day I was the only man in a group of women, and after a while they started to talk freely among themselves. They got to the topic of men, of course, and one of them started joking about how good it would be to find a wealthy old man with a failing health. I kept silent the whole time – I was busy listening to what amounted to a revelation. Now, these were low SMV women (just as I am a low SMV man), but I think it just proves that AWALT.

[GrumpyParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

dudes, I’m suiting up, hand me those grapefruits, pass me that bra…ace bandages on muh junk, come on boys, wrap me up tighter, thghter ok that’s good. You, get busy with the wax, just pour the whole 55 gallon drum on me, I need to feel smooth and silky…make up! wheres the make up artist….oh s~~~, get me a wig, ahhh these heels pinch, get size 14 for f~~~’s sake

S~~~…
Why not, all is fair in love, war, and economics isn’t it?

No insult to you brother, but I’d lay odds on you being much more “agreeable” company than a real woman for the old codger.
(and probably more real)

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[Author]

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