emotional terrorism

[DaveParticipant 7]

I wonder how many of you gentlemen have experienced the emotional abuse like my wife has been subjecting me to for the past couple years? I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD, Acute Dis-associative disorder and Borderline personality. These particular disorders make me very vulnerable to emotional attacks. If you familiarize yourself with c-ptsd you will find that you can be an easy target because of the fact that you have strong concerns of seperation, abandonment and loneliness. Her mode of attack would be to start a fight and then start threatening to leave followed up by yelling at our son to pack his things and then she would leave for 2 days. During that time she would never let me know where she was at what they were doing thus driving home the abandonment and lonliness issues. When she would come back we would start talking and the stories she would tell is completely different than the way I remembered it but with the problems I’ve had I don’t know what is real and what isn’t and she would try and convince me that I’m crazy. About this time we had a major accident on the ranch comma where my son accidentally shot his friend. While I was trying to patch the kid up getting ready to go to the hospital I looked over and my son had a gun against his head getting ready to commit suicide. This is actually a story that I would have to tell in person it’s just too much to type but needless to say after that I went over the edge. I left at their request because they were afraid as I was screaming in my sleep and fighting in my sleep so I did leave and continue to go downhill to the point of finally had to go to a mental hospital for 6 weeks. While I was in the mental hospital she filed for divorce,never letting me know why. After I was released from the hospital I was not allowed home and I would call her on the phone to try and talk to her that’s when she would start a fight and then hang up and’ due to my condition’ I could not handle not having resolution. This is when I really noticed her campaign of Terror because’ at this point’ I would start doing what is called Terror texting. I would text and text and text and most the time this was done when I was in the disassociative. She wouldn’t turn show these multiple texts to all of her friends proclaiming to be the victim and carrying this clean into the courtroom and get a restraining order because of the obvious harassment that I was subjecting her to. I really hope that one of you gentlemen out there will have some insight because at this point I am suicidal I can no longer live with this.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Dave wrote:

I wonder how many of you gentlemen have experienced the emotional abuse like my wife has been subjecting me to for the past couple years?

Well not to the point where I was diagnosed with anything and I would actually question if YOU really should be. Yes I have been “emotionally terrorized”. What man hasn’t?

As an example, are you familiar with “gaslighting”? It’s a well known manipulation/emotional terrorism tactic employed by sociopaths. It was even a B&W film with Ingrid Bergman.

There is nothing wrong with the victim. Their observations are keen and sharp. But the terrorist does X, and when the victim points it out, the manipulator acts like it’s all in their imagination. “Oh you’re only imagining that”…. “that’s not true”… “oh you’re just being silly”….. “you’re so sensitive”……”stop exaggerating”…… “it didn’t happen that way”…..

Now the victim begins to question their own sanity and perception. Classic, and I have experienced it plenty in all kinds of characters to family, “friends” , GFs and even employers. They actually behave like it’s YOUR problem when it isn’t.

Dave wrote:

When she would come back we would start talking and the stories she would tell is completely different than the way I remembered it but with the problems I’ve had I don’t know what is real and what isn’t and she would try and convince me that I’m crazy.

Exactly what I am talking about.

Consider ejecting that kind of person from your life as quickly as possible. Don’t even try to reason with them or “talk it out”. Just decide you’re DONE with them. No contact. Whatever you need to do to have some peace of mind.

WARNING: If you call a sociopath out on this, they can become EXTREMELY hostile, because they are like emotional vampires. When they don’t have a victim to control and manipulate, they freak out and can become very angry. They may also stop at NOTHING to try and make you “feel guilty” for putting your foot down….. and prey on your compassion as if “you’re being mean” and unreasonable. I could go on about this for a f~~~ing month, with plenty more examples.

Look it up. Read about “Sociopaths” and “gaslighting”. More common than you think.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[HitmanParticipant]

welcome dave.
i have not been diagnosed with any mental health issues,
and yet my ex had similar behaviors as yours.
so the common denominator is…
WOMEN.
i have a friend of many years..
when his mom was alive she would NEVER pick a fight with him,
UNLESS he was;
tired
sick
hungover
at a deficit of some kind.
when he was full strength she would do minor harrasment.
like put soap in his food,
or if he just cooked a meal and he left the kitchen for a minute she would THROW AWAY his meal claiming she thought it had “gone bad” from sitting on the table.
as a child she would fill his bowl to the rim and threaten punishment if he spilled any of his food..
she was mentally ill,
time proved that to be true ,
and my friend is fine now.
.
please get away from this woman.
get a lawyer and have visitation with your son.
chances are it is not YOU,
it’s HER.
get through this storm,
the light will shine again my friend.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Hitman wrote:

chances are it is not YOU,

Thank you for chiming in on this @hitman.

I forgot to welcome Dave properly.
But empathize with him completely.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 24]

You won’t get anywhere good until you first find out who #1 is, to do this, go find a mirror. Then once you have that all figured out, just walk away from anything that is contributing negatively to #1, it is really that simple. If you need meds or further help, seek it out, but what I just said above is the heart of the matter. Distance yourself from toxic people.

[RorschachParticipant 2083]

I am a very reasonable man. I think it comes down to your perception. In a way she did you a favor. She was unloyal and wanted to bail. You actually have a chance at a life now without a woman in it. Please see the freedom you have no matter how bad it all hurts. Theres noone worth killing yourself for. As much as you have been through you owe it to yourself to put you first and get yourself to a good point again. Keep reading the forums here and all I think you will be surprised to see that your not nearly as crazy as you think my friend.

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."

[DaveParticipant 7]

I truly appreciate you gentleman confirming my decision. Keymaster, the disorders were diagnosed prior to all this happening, but the gaslighting began about 2 years ago. Believe me, I researched every concievable term that could pertain to this and it appeared that she was using this info as a textbook. It was funny how she ramped it up after her sons suicide attempt.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Dave wrote:

the disorders were diagnosed prior to all this happening

My mother was an RN. And while she is a woman with naturally HIGHLY manipulative tendencies, she does have no tolerance for PC bulls~~~, and doesn’t subscribe to half the diagnosed “disorders” out there. At the risk of making a joke here….. she doesn’t even subscribe to the flu. If we had the sniffles and didn’t feel well, she pushed us out the door and made us go to school anyway.

As far as she is concerned, A.D.D is actually called “pay f~~~ing attention more”….. and nobody is “lactose intolerant”, they’re just little brats who don’t want milk. We could’t even have a headache. “Take a nap” she would say. To this day , I don’t take pills for jack. Thanks Mom.

The point is … prescriptions, symptoms and diagnoses are hugely over inflated and all in an effort to keep the big pharma running so shrinks can collect $250 an hour for knowing nothing while instilling paranoia in every citizen. Do you have blood in your stool? Do you have occasional irregularity? Are you tired, run down , listless?? Do you poop out at parties?

“YES!!! I NEED PILLS!!”

Half of it is nonsense. And when you’re describing these thing as you laid them out for us, you appear to have your head on right. Certainly right enough to identify “emotional terrorism” when you see it. And that’s the point here.

It’s not you, it’s she.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 42]

Dave, RUN!

[AwakenedParticipant 35203]

Women will attack you at your weakest, and they will keep attacking relentlessly !!

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome home, Dave
Beer’s in the fridge
My first wife did stuff like that until the day I left her. Funny thing was that on the first day in my new shabby little apartment I was sitting on a milk crate, smiling like a clam in front of a nice little fireplace and I HAD NOT FELT THAT GOOD IN YEARS
You are not the problem! She is USING your diagnosis to screw you over and if it was not that, then she would find something else.
I know it hurts. Men don’t usually arrive here if it doesn’t. I can say from personal experience that hearing from other men all over the world and buying a motorcycle is the best therapy you can find anywhere on the planet. Keep reading the forums. Your life will get better.

[Author]

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