Divorce process – update

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

My lawyer is going to file an originating motion to force my ex-pain-in-the-ass to actually have to deal with stuff, instead of just sitting on her enablement card. My lawyer is only doing this because in my jurisdiction it will probably pass just fine through the judge’s hands. I’m thinking of a few other things I intend to push down the pipeline. I don’t recommend hiring a lawyer and expecting them to take care of your file for you. You are the mover, they are just the tool. It’s the only way it works for the money. What I try to do is see if I can find ways of actually enticing the lawyers to want to go through with certain motions and making sure those motions also serve a purpose for me. In a win-win situation like that you get what you want. Trouble is, sometimes what you want is not what the lawyer wants and then this tactic doesn’t work. But if you can, find out what makes your lawyer tick, and the opponent’s lawyer tick, and then see if you can set something up using that to get what you want.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

By the way, most guys I’ve talked to that didn’t get a lawyer, basically signed a document full of the ex’s demands and closed their eyes and hoped for the best. Not the best way to go about something that will affect you long-term. But some guys get nailed by the ex right from the get-go when the guy is reeling. My ex tried that. I applied No Contact immediately. No Contact is a very important implement to have when scaling Mount Divorce.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[WallyParticipant]

Do not envy what you are going through brother, family court is a nightmare. Hope the best for you and that it ends quickly.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[Anonymous 42]

Point Of No Return wrote:

But if you can, find out what makes your lawyer tick, and the opponent’s lawyer tick, and then see if you can set something up using that to get what you want.

You guys ever get the feeling that the entire legal system is like a ticking bomb?

I’m impressed Point Of No Return, Great name for a bomb disposal EXPERT!

Personally, I’ll just stay over here, outside the minefield!

Keep up the good work! Just cut the blue wire and you’ll be okay!

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

I hate to say it (I don’t want to sound like a part of one of those idiotic ex-couples that get together to make a ‘happy’ scene of it; not my intention at all), but one way or another I think I will want to celebrate in my own way (whiskey included in that thought) once I’m actually holding a divorce certificate issued by a judge with a final date printed on it. I know my ex won’t have the financial means to reopen the case with some frivolous application to the court. Most of them weeminz have busted credit scores by the time it ends if we’re talking about run of the mill situations.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2725]

Hey Point, you have some great advice for members facing divorce. A couple points I want to reiterate:

A Lawyer is a necessary evil in divorce especially if it is your first (I didn’t use one for second, but only because of brutal year-long-lessons learned in first)

That said, Don’t expect the lawyer to take care of everything! Be proactive, tell him what you want to do and how. Read up and ask questions. Carefully proof read documents they prepare. Most of the time they are just copy-pasting from other docs. There will be mistakes.

NEVER quickly cave to the c~~~’s demands just because you want to get it over with. So many guys have sold the farm just because they were desperate to get out. Then realized they are now actually more enslaved because of alimony child support no money or possessions and s~~~ty parental rights.

But lastly, also recognize when it is time to make a tactical retreat. I have seen couples drag divorces on for years. In the process they burned everything they were fighting for to the ground. If your divorce is lasting longer a year, seriously evaluate what the hell you are fighting over.

Having a reasonable divorce and parenting decree that you can live with and signed by a judge is one of the best feelings ever!

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[MonkParticipant 16975]

Point Of No Return wrote:

I don’t recommend hiring a lawyer and expecting them to take care of your file for you. You are the mover, they are just the tool. It’s the only way it works for the money.

Good point, and one which people overlook.

[Oz-BlokeParticipant 3233]

Although a necessary evil, remember lawyers have a financial motivation to drag your matter out as long as possible because they bill for how many minutes they work on your matter, not for how quickly they resolve things. It’s a system that actually rewards a lawyer’s slowness, disorganization and ineptitude.
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During my divorce rape my lawer said they would issue subpoenas for the ex-box to provide documents relevant to the property and 401K/supperanuation split. They didn’t subpoena S~~~ and charged me $400 an hour. I still wonder who f~~~ed me over more, the ex-box or the lawyer.

#ManOut

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

https://tinyurl.com/my-reason-to-relinquish-shared custody

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2725]

Oz-Bloke wrote:

Although a necessary evil, remember lawyers have a financial motivation to drag your matter out as long as possible because they bill for how many minutes they work on your matter, not for how quickly they resolve things. It’s a system that actually rewards a lawyer’s slowness, disorganization and ineptitude.

An extremely valid point. Lawyers are the only true winners in a divorce.

Not all lawyers are created equal. Shop around, most give a free initial consultation.

I needed to revise my parenting agreement and was frustrated with my lawyer’s lack of prompt responses.

I found a new one and was very happy with him.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

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