Divorce ClusterF

[Pharma9Participant 108]

Gentlemen,

It’s good to back on here, I took a month off from life to live in the North Georgia mountains and completely disconnected from anything social for that time period. So I have returned about a week ago and since my last post a lot of things have changed. However I will go deeper into that later, for now I need some advice from the most knowledgable gentlemen I know.

Once I returned I was barraged with phone calls and messages from my for now separated wife telling me I about how she has gone to a lawyer and stated our separation paperwork and so on and so forth. The issue I am having is this. She is telling me that the lawyer needs to know the financial numbers of our joint accounts (we signed on multiple accounts together, Sleepnumber, Barclays, I was a stupid bastard) and they need to know how much is still owed on certain things and such. I do not see the need to disclose such numbers and everything I’ve researched on this topic (Virginia State Law) says nothing on this matter. So what I’m asking is this, from my eyes, I should not need to disclose such numbers and the only thing they need to know is if I a will be claiming to pay for these accounts or not (which I told her before I will be, I’m tired of dealing with her bitch ass and her lame materialistic needs).

With that being said, we both agreed that this would be a no-fault divorce, but i don’t feel comfortable anymore not having a lawyer. So I will be getting one very shortly.

[Anonymous 13]

Lawyer up, there’s a s~~~ vortex ahead.

Seriously.

Welcome back and Good Luck.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Yup, lawyer up yesterday. I would assume that your attorney will tell you that you do in fact need to disclose all of that information, but let him tell you that. You are now splitting up a balance sheet and in order to do that the court needs to know about all of the assets and liabilities. And how stupid is she to not know the balance of a joint account?

Order the good wine

[ABParticipant 762]

Pharma9 wrote:

So what I’m asking is this, from my eyes, I should not need to disclose such numbers and the only thing they need to know is if I a will be claiming to pay for these accounts or not (which I told her before I will be, I’m tired of dealing with her bitch ass and her lame materialistic needs).

This is unfamiliar territory, but I’d be asking for a formal written request from her lawyer citing the law that requires the disclosure of such things, and advising that in absence of a legal requirement, you politely decline the invitation.

No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.

[Pharma9Participant 108]

Anonymous wrote:

Lawyer up, there’s a s~~~ vortex ahead.

Seriously.

Welcome back and Good Luck.

Thank you, maybe I’m not understanding what a no fault divorce is, but is sounds like to me its just a sign a paper, show up in court, and drop the gavel on it. I don’t want to get my pants pulled down but what else could come of it?

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

Debts are factored into marriage assets and the division of property. They do need this info, and will get it one way or the other. Pick your battles wisely.

I took on as much of the debt as I could in exchange for keeping the same amount in my 401k.

If she has a lawyer, you probably should too.

Good luck!

[joetechParticipant]

I’ve heard that if you declare bankruptcy she’ll be on the hook for joint accounts. Talk to your lawyer about how that works and when to do it. If these are joint accounts, doesn’t SHE have access to that info as well? I think she’s baiting you into making direct contact so she can pull some of her tricks. Lawyer up and make her go through your attorney for whatever she needs to discuss.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Pharma9Participant 108]

TaxGuy wrote:

Yup, lawyer up yesterday. I would assume that your attorney will tell you that you do in fact need to disclose all of that information, but let him tell you that. You are now splitting up a balance sheet and in order to do that the court needs to know about all of the assets and liabilities. And how stupid is she to not know the balance of a joint account?

She claims she does not want to look at it because it “stresses her out”. This is coming from a women that lives with her parents and has had everything given to her her entire live. New car, new jewelry, new whatever. All at Pharma’s tab.

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

Pharma9 wrote:

SpiritRR wrote:

Lawyer up, there’s a s~~~ vortex ahead.

Seriously.

Welcome back and Good Luck.

Thank you, maybe I’m not understanding what a no fault divorce is, but is sounds like to me its just a sign a paper, show up in court, and drop the gavel on it. I don’t want to get my pants pulled down but what else could come of it?

No fault simply means she doesn’t need a reason, and any bad acts on her part will not factor into the settlement. She could be gangbanging the entire Panthers team and it doesn’t matter. She will get half or more.

[Pharma9Participant 108]

Pedal, run, row wrote:

Debts are factored into marriage assets and the division of property. They do need this info, and will get it one way or the other. Pick your battles wisely.

I took on as much of the debt as I could in exchange for keeping the same amount in my 401k.

If she has a lawyer, you probably should too.

Good luck!

[/quote

She and I both signed papers to withdraw my TSP (401k for service members/dod employees) stating she did not want the funds. This was notarized as well. I told her I would take on the debt because I don’t have time for her complaining all the time about how its “my debt” yah yah yah.

[ABParticipant 762]

Pedal, run, row wrote:

No fault simply means she doesn’t need a reason, and any bad acts on her part will not factor into the settlement. She could be gangbanging the entire Panthers team and it doesn’t matter. She will get half or more.

No-fault divorce is a divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does not require a showing of wrongdoing by either party. Laws providing for no-fault divorce allow a family court to grant a divorce in response to a petition by either party of the marriage without requiring the petitioner to provide evidence that the defendant has committed a breach of the marital contract.

No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.

[Pharma9Participant 108]

AB wrote:

Pedal, run, row wrote:

No fault simply means she doesn’t need a reason, and any bad acts on her part will not factor into the settlement. She could be gangbanging the entire Panthers team and it doesn’t matter. She will get half or more.

No-fault divorce is a divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does not require a showing of wrongdoing by either party. Laws providing for no-fault divorce allow a family court to grant a divorce in response to a petition by either party of the marriage without requiring the petitioner to provide evidence that the defendant has committed a breach of the marital contract.

This was my understanding of the law as well, but it still does not cover the reasoning for knowledge of the debt in accounts I’ve I have stated I would pay for it.

Also Geralt of Rivia is a stone cold ladies man. Some of the best books/games I’ve ever played have been the Witcher series.

[ABParticipant 762]

Pharma9 wrote:

This was my understanding of the law as well, but it still does not cover the reasoning for knowledge of the debt in accounts I’ve I have stated I would pay for it.

Also Geralt of Rivia is a stone cold ladies man. Some of the best books/games I’ve ever played have been the Witcher series.

Haha Geralt is the man! Witcher is such a well constructed narrative – I am loving the positive response to my avatar for this haha!

Indeed as I stated earlier, unless her lawyer can present the legal requirement in respect of it, bid her adieu with a finger in the air.

No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

What does your lawyer say…detecting a theme here?

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

Pharma9 wrote:

She and I both signed papers to withdraw my TSP (401k for service members/dod employees) stating she did not want the funds. This was notarized as well. I told her I would take on the debt because I don’t have time for her complaining all the time about how its “my debt” yah yah yah.

Sounds like she is being reasonable if she didn’t try to loot your TSP account.

IF you look at the divorce paperwork, you need to list all marriage assets and debts, even if you have already agree between yourselves how to split it up.
If you took the debts they are going to want to list those on that form and assign them to you, because if you don’t pay them she will be on the hook as well, unless they can list them and assign them to you when the paperwork is submitted.
Everything needs to be spelled out on that settlement sheet. They are not going to just take your word for it, without putting it on the form.
Her lawyer is looking out for her and doing his job.

[Pharma9Participant 108]

Pedal, run, row wrote:

Pharma9 wrote:

She and I both signed papers to withdraw my TSP (401k for service members/dod employees) stating she did not want the funds. This was notarized as well. I told her I would take on the debt because I don’t have time for her complaining all the time about how its “my debt” yah yah yah.

Sounds like she is being reasonable if she didn’t try to loot your TSP account.

IF you look at the divorce paperwork, you need to list all marriage assets and debts, even if you have already agree between yourselves how to split it up.
If you took the debts they are going to want to list those on that form and assign them to you, because if you don’t pay them she will be on the hook as well, unless they can list them and assign them to you when the paperwork is submitted.
Everything needs to be spelled out on that settlement sheet. They are not going to just take your word for it, without putting it on the form.
Her lawyer is looking out for her and doing his job.

And so he is, I believe ill contact a law firm and get this settle the diplomatic way. I cannot hear her voice without feeling sapped of life. True Succubus style.

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

Pharma9 wrote:

Pedal, run, row wrote:

Pharma9 wrote:

She and I both signed papers to withdraw my TSP (401k for service members/dod employees) stating she did not want the funds. This was notarized as well. I told her I would take on the debt because I don’t have time for her complaining all the time about how its “my debt” yah yah yah.

Sounds like she is being reasonable if she didn’t try to loot your TSP account.

IF you look at the divorce paperwork, you need to list all marriage assets and debts, even if you have already agree between yourselves how to split it up.
If you took the debts they are going to want to list those on that form and assign them to you, because if you don’t pay them she will be on the hook as well, unless they can list them and assign them to you when the paperwork is submitted.
Everything needs to be spelled out on that settlement sheet. They are not going to just take your word for it, without putting it on the form.
Her lawyer is looking out for her and doing his job.

And so he is, I believe ill contact a law firm and get this settle the diplomatic way. I cannot hear her voice without feeling sapped of life. True Succubus style.

Well, I am probably in the minority here, but I would advocate settling it without a legal fight if at all possible. Your lawyer and her lawyer will bleed you dry if you let it escalate for no reason.
Having said that, if they try to screw you, don’t hesitate to get a lawyer.

To me it doesn’t sound like they are, from what you stated here. They really do need to list those debts on the settlement sheet, but feel free to consult an attorney if you need to here it from a lawyer.

[Author]

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