Discussion: Evolution of Conversation over the Years

[AfterburnerParticipant 12]

Putting this down to get this concept down on paper.

I thought an interesting perspective is to see the shift in conversations I was having with girls and boys, men and women, through high school, college, and now.

In middle school and high school, I thought it was fun to share stories with girls and have them share their own. But when sexuality came into play, the stories and experiences that I heard changed from exchanges of thought to purely emotions. No more thinking from a woman’s side. When there was thinking, it was plagued with caveats and excuses for not being critical of oneself, or just an empty vacuum when it came to self-reflection.

With guys, the conversations were different. They would build on previous years of experience, with the expressed emotions being the BEGINNING of the conversation, followed by introspection or some serious knowledge bombs. Many times, the thoughts would trail into crap, but we would acknowledge it and laugh at how we thought it was going to be a framed point. It’s why I love hanging with guys who think, because it makes me think as well.

So the whole friend-zone with girls makes me feel like I’m downgrading my life. Instead of trying to pull them up, I look up to other great men and ask if they can pull me along to their viewpoint on life.

Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future

This quote hit me hard.

When I surround myself with guys who always focus on censoring themselves to fit into their paradigm of “being a provider,” I would begin to embody the NAWALT snooty mindset. I would focus on fitness and career because “then women will know I’m a worthy mate.” I didn’t see it as a two way street. It was a blind, one way energy vacuum into a blackhole of never ending appeasement and eroding of my own beliefs.

Now that I’m surrounding myself with focused guys who talk about life, about meaning, about purpose, I find myself not really seeing girls as an “issue” anymore. Now it’s about the next trip I wish to take, next workout routine, next personal record I want to hit with squats. Life becomes much easier, once you remove the false games in your mind about “getting the right girl.”

Just writing this down for myself and anyone else is really helping crystallize my own beliefs. Critical judgement, not for the person, but for the ideas, really turns me into a less emotional mess, less fearful man, and more focused individual.

If anyone else has experienced this, would enjoy hearing your perspective.

Best

Afterburner.

[Anonymous 24]

Very few men are intellectuals, even fewer women. In fact, even here many just react to problems, never dissecting much to understand anything beyond their rage at what is presented to them. When you do that, one can be played by those who create, weather it be via print, movie, or news.

“An intellectual is a person who engages in critical study, thought, and reflection about the reality of society, and proposes solutions for the normative problems of that society”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectual

Conversations with women will almost never be on an intellectual level, you found this out early it seems, it took me years, as when I was young I was not very analytical. Stacks of books and investigative conversation with intelligent men who do not censor themselves can change all of that for just about anyone who can set aside their ego and be ok with the fact that how they see things may be upside down.

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

Ripping every little thing apart becomes tiring. The more you do it, the less fun it is. I still like to dissect some things, but only very interesting things to me. For instance, a female isn’t all that interesting. But things like post humanism, cybernetics, and the nature of the human soul are all very interesting.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[John DoeParticipant 743]

Anonymous wrote:

Very few men are intellectuals, even fewer women. In fact, even here many just react to problems, never dissecting much to understand anything beyond their rage at what is presented to them. When you do that, one can be played by those who create, weather it be via print, movie, or news.

I would have to agree with this. There is a common misconception that men are “thinkers” and women are “emotional” when in reality I believe most men to be fundamentally emotional with women only giving the impression of having emotion out of a misplaced survival instinct.

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