Desperate ex keeps contacting me

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

Not really in need of help or anything, because I feel I got the situation under control, but sharing this story here for the benefit of other men:

About 10 year ago, I had a relationship with a lady for about a year. The relationship was pretty shallow with her being obsessed with wanting sex constantly but not being interested in anything else (think we had dinner together only 3 times over the course of a year, never actually went on any dates). She would constantly say she wanted a Caucasian boyfriend due to their (perceived) higher sex drive. (we live in a non western country)

After about a year I pulled the plug on the relationship and went on with my life and other relationships. She would occasionally contact me, and try and trick me into meeting up with her, preferably at whatever place she was living at that moment. I knew the trick, never gave in.

I already realized long ago that once done with an ex, best never to speak or contact her again. Both need to get on with their lives. Best get rid of the baggage of past relationships. Whenever she called, and I didn’t recognize the number I would humor her with a short high level conversation, not give her any “valuable information” and hang up.

Didn’t hear from her for the past 2 years, until last week.

Suddenly started getting text messages, saying that “she still hated me”, that she “wasted her life on me”, calling me “immature” and what not. Sticking with my “no contact” policy, I ignored the messages. Moreover I don’t want to reward a very obvious cry for attention. Last weekend the messages became more frequent, and she even tried to call. Luckily I recognized the number and didn’t answer the phone. Then used an app to block her number for incoming calls. Sadly my phone’s OS doesn’t allow messages to be blocked as well.

Aside from feeling creeped out by the behavior of woman I broke up with 8 to 9 years ago, I’m good and feel this is the best way to go about dealing with her.
Off course, comments are welcome.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

AgitoM wrote:

She would occasionally contact me,

They always do.

Just pretend you don’t know who she is.

: “I still hate you. I wasted my life on you.”
: “Who is this? Do I know you? I think you have the wrong person.”

Or ask her for money. Or tell her you don’t recognize her and then ask for money. Tell her you lost your job or whatever and you need a few thousand dollars for back rent etc. Can’t she help out for old time’s sake?

That should put an end to this nonsense.

[Anonymous 54]

Just tell them your broke. Trust me, problem solved.

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

Fun fact. This lady had a tenancy of referring to me as “stupid”. While in reality she was the one who acted in dumb manners in many situations.
Last time I spoke with her on the phone about 2 years ago. She was bragging about how much money she was making, and how a “stupid person” like me, couldn’t do that.
I acknowledged that indeed she is making good money, and praised her for her achievement.

Didn’t bother to telling her that I am making much more then her on my base pay alone.

Am worried if I tell her I’m broke and ask for money, aside from getting another “stupid” thrown at me, she will offer to loan me money if I come to her house to pick it up. 🙂

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Good to see you visit again.

AgitoM wrote:

I don’t want to reward a very obvious cry for attention

Right.

You didn’t mention her age, but I have experienced similar and one in particular who wasn’t even a girlfriend …never said anything “nice” to my face in the 15 years that I knew her. All of a sudden, she hit 33 and her eggs started drying up and I started getting “I miss yous” and “I love yous” (yes I have a copy of it signed XXX).

It wasn’t that she reflected fondly or even wanted to reconnect. It was the sudden switch and aggressive flirtation and kind words I never saw previously – and all that after 5 or 6 years of radio silence.

It’s as if women mentally go back and re-evaulate EVERY SINGLE GUY they once knew, and start contacting to see which one is dumb enough to bite.

I actually called her out on this too.

I would AT LEAST be wiling to answer the phone/emnail and enjoy a chat for old times sake if she bothered to ask or send a birthday greeting over 15+ years. NOTHING.

This is the sweet spot for men. Enjoy the f~~~ out of it.

AgitoM wrote:

This lady had a tenancy of referring to me as “stupid”.

I would be very tempted to terrorize this one for my own amusement.

I LIKE it when women think of us men as “stupid”.
That’s their hubris.

When they figure out that they are wrong, the rage fest that ensues is music to my ears.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

AgitoM wrote:

Am worried if I tell her I’m broke and ask for money, aside from getting another “stupid” thrown at me, she will offer to loan me money if I come to her house to pick it up.

Who cares what she thinks of you?

If she’s foolish enough to give you money, then she’s the stupid one, not you. Just insist it’s a gift, not a loan, and insist on a money order (or whatever those “nigerian prince” scammers use).

Donate the money to your local men’s shelter or whatever.

And if she brings up the money ever, go back to pretending you don’t know her.

If she insists on bothering you then she’s fair game for however you choose to f~~~ with her right back. Just keep it legal.

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

Keymaster wrote:

Good to see you visit again.

You didn’t mention her age, but I have experienced similar and one in particular who wasn’t even a girlfriend …never said anything “nice” to my face in the 15 years that I knew her. All of a sudden, she hit 33 and her eggs started drying up and I started getting “I miss yous” and “I love yous” (yes I have a copy of it signed XXX).

It’s as if women mentally go back and re-evaulate EVERY SINGLE GUY they once knew, and start contacting to see which one is dumb enough to bite.

Good to see you again as well Keymaster. Sadly my work doesn’t always allow me to spend a lot of time online.

As for the ladies age, she was already in her early 30’s when I met her. She had youthful looks that didn’t give her age away, but as far as men from her own country were concerned she already lost most of her market value due to number of her age alone. (In Asia any woman who is not married and not in a relationship by 28 will have serious issues finding a partner). I’ve got no idea what she looks like today, but I figured her youthful look is gone now.

Other then that, very insightful comment about women revisiting past men. I’ve literally encountered women who in their early 20’s wouldn’t even notice me and outright put me in the friend zone, but the moment they hit the “28 line”, would suddenly toss themselves at me, through also sorts of sweet messages or very strong hints.

What doesn’t help either, is that in Asia it is perfectly acceptable for a man in his late 20’s to marry a girl in her early 20’s.

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

sidecar wrote:

Who cares what she thinks of you?

I don’t care. That’s why I don’t even bother to argue the case whenever she, or anyone else for that matter, says something like that. I always found that people who make such comments generally lack intellect themselves.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

AgitoM wrote:

As for the ladies age

She’s around 40 now and she’s STILL treating you (speaking to you) like that? That might work when she had 18-21 year old skin and t~~~ like rocks, but they can’t carry on like that.

AgitoM wrote:

but the moment they hit the “28 line”, would suddenly toss themselves at me, through also sorts of sweet messages or very strong hints.

Predictable and perfectly in sync wth the SMV curve. Her SMV begins a precipitous decline and she wants to lock a man down before he realizes his is just STARTING to ramp up. We see it time and time again.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

AgitoM wrote:

As for the ladies age, she was already in her early 30’s when I met her.

So she started out with you as spoiled christmas cake.

She’s probably desperate enough now that she would give you money. And desperate enough that it’s probably a bad idea to take it. I retract my earlier suggestion.

but the moment they hit the “28 line”, would suddenly toss themselves at me, through also sorts of sweet messages or very strong hints.

They always do. And I’d bet money you are not the only man from her past she is contacting. And seeing as she’s now post 40 or so, it’s clear that none of the rest of them have fallen for it either, so she has to be crazy levels of desperate now.

With that in mind, it’s probably a bad idea to use this opportunity to f~~~ with her. It’s better to just cut her off good and hard with finality.

Can you get a ‘no contact’ restraining order against her where you are?

What doesn’t help either, is that in Asia it is perfectly acceptable for a man in his late 20’s to marry a girl in her early 20’s.

And that is entirely her problem, not yours.

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

Keymaster wrote:

Predictable and perfectly in sync wth the SMV curve. Her SMV begins a precipitous decline and she wants to lock a man down before he realizes his is just STARTING to ramp up. We see it time and time again.

Going to save that picture. It matches EXACTLY my observations over the past decade of my life. Thanks a lot!

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

sidecar wrote:

She’s probably desperate enough now that she would give you money. And desperate enough that it’s probably a bad idea to take it. I retract my earlier suggestion.

With that in mind, it’s probably a bad idea to use this opportunity to f~~~ with her. It’s better to just cut her off good and hard with finality.

Can you get a ‘no contact’ restraining order against her where you are?

Indeed as you also realized, she would want sex in return for money. F~~~ing her would invite all sorts of other problems. That’s why I indeed decided to stick with “completely ignoring” and “hard cut”. Also avoids her ever being able to accuse me of anything.

As for the restraining order. The legal system here does not recognize “boyfriend / girlfriend”. Either you are married, or single. No in between. Which makes us no different then 2 people who know each other arguing. Legal system won’t bother with it. Seriously bad things would have to happen for the law to step in.

[Psl47Participant 678]

Empty chair dude , .. empty chair..

.

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

You handled that well, AgitoM!

For some reason I expect one of the exes (the schizo one) to try and come in contact with me again and I’ll stick to any examples you guys have given, could be fun!

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Nerevar wrote:

For some reason I expect one of the exes (the schizo one) to try and come in contact with me again and I’ll stick to any examples you guys have given, could be fun!

I too have one of those, and she did contact me again. Any time I see a thread like this one, I read it with great interest.

She is one of those that would haunt me as a ghost, if there is such a thing…

I am sure of it. I have to do the dead inside “emo” type of s~~~ on her…but am always on the lookout for a better plan, that I haven’t tried on her yet.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

AgitoM wrote:

Sticking with my “no contact” policy

Good for you.

A simple and effective policy…

[Anonymous 54]

I have noticed over the years that when a woman starts throwing the “stupid” word around, it means shes really horny. Just an observation.

[AgitoMParticipant 99]

Anonymous wrote:

I have noticed over the years that when a woman starts throwing the “stupid” word around, it means shes really horny. Just an observation.

In case of the lady I am telling about, your observation is probably very spot on.

[6shinystonesParticipant 51]

In addition to what has been said here, I would get a new phone number when you buy your next phone. Pain in the ass, yeah, but it should help with situations like these. If you share mutual friends, be very careful who you give your new number to.

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

sidecar wrote:

AgitoM wrote:

She would occasionally contact me,

They always do.

Just pretend you don’t know who she is.

: “I still hate you. I wasted my life on you.”
: “Who is this? Do I know you? I think you have the wrong person.”

Or ask her for money. Or tell her you don’t recognize her and then ask for money. Tell her you lost your job or whatever and you need a few thousand dollars for back rent etc. Can’t she help out for old time’s sake?

That should put an end to this nonsense.

I’m always a fan of f~~~ing with women for giggles. I agree, pretend like you don’t even know her, and even if she says her name and all that just say.

“Nope, not ringing any bells.”

That should p~~~ her off. Let her know she meant nothing to you, whether she did or not is irrelevant.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[Author]

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