Defining Domestic Violence

[Mover1799Participant 58]

Basically I got convicted of DV Malicious mischief 3 for breaking a chair because I found out my wife was having a affair while back and as a result I have to do these DV classes for a year.  In my class today the “teacher” was basically telling us that domestic violence is all the same level even if it is verbal or physical, so since I gotta do this s~~~ for a year I might as well pick their brains as much as I can and I ask how it is the same?  She looked at me like I had a dick on my head and I said I think there is a pretty big difference between hitting someone and verbally abusing, regardless they are both bad I understand that.  Then I explained that relating to my circumstance I did not believe my crime was equal to my punishment, even though I admit what I did was wrong, but then explained that her having an affair was a form of abuse, so why did she not get held accountable?  Domestic Violence laws are getting pretty ridiculous, there is a BIG different between having a pattern of domestic violence and one spontaneous moment that was minor and no one got hurt.  I dunno the rest of the DV guys explained to me that they understand, but I should just keep quiet because there is no point fighting the system and I agree with them.

 

Thoughts?

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

As one who has been through this s~~~, I can totally understand where you are coming from, and what you are saying. This is only my opinion, and I am not an attorney, nor am I advising you in any legal capacity…

However, seeing that I have experience, I thought I would throw my 2 cents into the pot as it were.

I tried to reason, and explain, and defend myself in DV classes. This is what I found out the hard way…it was a one sided losing proposition, just like at court, before being sentenced to DV classes for a yr, just like it was when the police came out to my residence and arrested me, just like my 2 divorces & child support, etc.

As you have no doubt already deduced, there is a pattern here, and it’s f~~~ed six ways from Sunday.
I had to swallow all of it, and put on my yes ma’am face. Yeah, I know, I even had a female probation officer, as well as female judge, and female court defender, etc.

It is a damn shame and a total bloody mess, and it sucks and defies logic & reason.
In short, you may want to rethink your strategy on how to do your time for a yr in DV class.

The more I “bucked” the system, the more they threw it in my face on how much of a controlling & manipulating asshole I was, in more words or less.

Unfortunately, it only got better for me, once I decided to tell them everything the “teacher” wanted to here.
So, I put my f~~~in’ “dunce hat” on and played the damned rigged game.

Talk about being emotionally compromised as well as being screwed.
It beyond sucks, I hate to say.

Hope you find it helpful…

[Mover1799Participant 58]

Yeah, some of the “veteran” classmates were basically helping me from digging my grave and I caught on pretty fast.

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Glad to hear that…just ride out the damn s~~~ storm is about your best bet.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Mover1799 wrote:

I dunno the rest of the DV guys explained to me that they understand, but I should just keep quiet because there is no point fighting the system and I agree with them.

Phantom wrote:

I tried to reason, and explain, and defend myself in DV classes. This is what I found out the hard way…it was a one sided losing proposition …

These are the lessons I took away from a different context — but only slightly different. Back in my corporate drone days, we had to go to “equal opportunity” classes. The instructors set things up so that someone would say, “Hey! That’s not fair!” or something of the sort. It was all a setup for their next tirade.

The substance of the tirade? “It is all some man’s fault! You are a man! It’s all your fault!”

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[BestoftherestParticipant 285]

In your situation you need to get along to move along. Your story sucks and you make valid points. Got to move on and find something that will let you adapt, doesn’t mean you need to change but you need a mechanism to deal with those classes. Like mgtowage said, put on the dunce cap and nod your head.

Funny how she couldn’t make a connection between your action being abuse and a spouse cheating.

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
Abraham Lincoln

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Bestoftherest wrote:

Funny how she couldn’t make a connection between your action being abuse and a spouse cheating.

yeah, no s~~~ on that.

[Mover1799Participant 58]

Right, the main teacher is suppose to be male and it seems the guys support him, but we had a female sub and from my personal perspective the guys kinda kept quite, which is why I caught on quick.

[BestoftherestParticipant 285]

Mover1799 wrote:

Right, the main teacher is suppose to be male and it seems the guys support him, but we had a female sub and from my personal perspective the guys kinda kept quite, which is why I caught on quick.

Yeah men can’t speak freely with woman around, especially females talking about DV. A man will let you vent a female wants to vent to you.

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."
Abraham Lincoln

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

yeah, and after every class, I just wanted to go have a damn drink or two…but hell no, couldn’t drink either.

Was hell, to say the least.

I just kept reminding myself, this too shall pass.

RoyDal wrote:

The substance of the tirade? “It is all some man’s fault! You are a man! It’s all your fault!”

and when that s~~~ is hitting you harder at times (some of the classes p~~~ed me off to no end), go do something that you really enjoy to help cope with it.

porn, gaming, reading, whatever the f~~~ it is…

Just.Go.Do.It.

It helps

[Mover1799Participant 58]

How the f~~~ they going to know if you been drinking?

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

I had to do random p~~~ tests

[Mover1799Participant 58]

Can they test for alcohol in p~~~?

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Aye, they can.

Stays in your system for 24hrs, if I recall correctly.

I had a color…and everyday, I had to call to see if the color was the one they gave me.

If it was a match, I would have to go there and p~~~ in their damn little cup.

[Mover1799Participant 58]

Do they randomly call you in for a p~~~ test or can you plan it out since my classes are Thursdays?  I heard alcohol last 48 hours in your system

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Think you are right on the 48 hrs., it’s been yrs since I lived through that nightmare.
Well, I don’t know how they have your situation setup.

I was told I couldn’t drink, or I would be in probation violation.
I was given a new color each week from DV “teacher”.

Every day, they had random colors they would pick at the office.
Every day, I had to call to find out which colors they had picked for that day.

[Mover1799Participant 58]

ewww, do not think my class is that hardcore

[Mover1799Participant 58]

Honestly, I will just put the booze away and play it safe, plus it will help me get better gains since I am always at the gym, maybe I can learn some cool things if I do go out and decide not to drink.  Interesting journey

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Sounds like a solid plan.
I am all for better safe than sorry these days.

Too many days of being a sucker and paying like hell for it.

[Mover1799Participant 58]

right

[Author]

Posts