Dealing w/ the Ex

[narwhalParticipant]

So, I’m not 100% sure what the point of this post is. Perhaps just a story.

For a couple months now, my 14 year old son is been having frequent diarrhea and vomiting. I’ve taken him to the Dr a couple times, and although the diagnosis is not complete, it’s definitely not a temporary sickness and most like IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) or Ulcerated Colitis (there is history in the family). His episodes are stressed/anxiety related , and thus there are habits he can change to reduce them,. Both my ex and I have worked with him on this, in our own ways.

Although, I have typically been much more the disciplinarian, things seemed to have shifted lately. There have been a few times where my son has had an episode, missed wrestling practice because of it, etc. My ex tends to get frustrated with him, tells him what he should be doing, or getting him signed up in to counselling programs. I typically work on trying to reduce his anxiety with words of encouragement, Not too surprisingly, he’s requested (and been granted) to spend more time with me during the week. That’s not to say that my ex’s advice and discipline is wrong, I agree with it in most cases. It does not feel like the right way to deal with this situation.

On a particular Tuesday a couple weeks ago, my son called me to let me know he just threw up 3 times and had diarrhea. He was at the point of tears and stuck in the locker room during wrestling practice. I called my ex to go pick him up, since I was an hour away. I then met up at my exes house when I could and found my son obviously very uncomfortable lying on his bed. I asked him if he still wanted to go to my house and he did but wanted to rest a while first. So we started talking and he started opening up to me about his anxiety and some of things that were bothering him. He’s not the best at talking about these things, so it was good that he was opening up.

Then, my ex walked in, and started giving him a mini-lecture. I could practically see his anxiety rising. But I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to undermine my ex in her home and hoping it would end soon. After a few minutes, my Son had had enough.

[Son] Dad, can we go now?
[Me] Yes we can.

Then my ex blew up and turned on me. She was p~~~ed at me. I let her know that what she was doing was not helping. My Son agreed. She started telling me all that she keeps telling him to do this and that and he’s not listening and I told her I didn’t care, this is not the time. We got out of there. Text messages followed. My son was upset about it, but I let him know that this was my issue, not his.

We got to my home, and after about 10 minutes, my son was sitting up and visible better. My texted, wanting a apology form me. She got none.

It seems to have blown over now, but I am sure she is still angry at me. What bothered me the most is old instincts tried to kick in. I felt bad and guilty about it, like I should apologize. I wanted to try and explain things to her, what she wasn’t seeing. I felt old haunting feelings. I thought to myself, did I really use to live with this almost every day? I have changed since then as I refuse to argue with her under any circumstances. Calm discussion only. I won’t apologize for the sake of peace.

Probably pretty typical for most divorced fathers. I get to avoid it most days. So glad I get to avoid it most of the time, and that I have my son’s ear.

Ok. Then do it.

[HermitParticipant]

Poor kids. Sure glad my son has grown older now, but back when he was young, she had her way of raising him and I had my way and they mostly never matched. I felt awful for him. He now sees her for what she is, but doesn’t put up with too much of her s~~~ being that he’s 23 years old now.

Damn women……stressful f~~~ing bitches……… I’m glad to know that he’s able to spend more time with you.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[Branched offParticipant 10975]

They have the power because the children live with them and the law and the prevailing culture allow them to be needy, weak, unaccountable and powerful all at once.

When stress comes along they are not good at dealing with it but they have all the power and so feel the solution must lie through them and their choices. Any input from an Ex is to be resisted as it undermines and insults them, unless it is simply following their usually flawed orders. Its just a toxic soup that a man is best off far away from yet of course we dive into the soup for our children.

A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own

[sidecarParticipant 35842]

And yet she’s the one receiving child support checks from you.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

Well done!
Your son is lucky enough to have you and your support, and he KNOWS it.
Your ex also knows it, that’s why she attempts to provoke/undermine you.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Do you have a dna test?

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[narwhalParticipant]

Hermit wrote:

PDamn women……stressful f~~~ing bitches……… I’m glad to know that he’s able to spend more time with you.

I suppose you could say I’m lucky in the sense that my ex is usually in agreement with me when it comes to the kids, and we have never had a situation where either of us have denied access to the other parent.

As far as child support, that’s obviously not an ideal situation, but my ex will never take me back to court to get more money. Although I make a decent amount more than originally, she knows that won’t be a pleasant experience, and my kids will never lack for anything.

Ok. Then do it.

[narwhalParticipant]

XSDBS wrote:

Well done!Your son is lucky enough to have you and your support, and he KNOWS it.Your ex also knows it, that’s why she attempts to provoke/undermine you.

She hasn’t ever tried to undermine me, and this situation was me undermining her. I have no problem admitting that. She has tried to provoke me in the past, to get me to pay for something outside of child support that I did not want to pay for outside of child support. I always ignored her, so it didn’t last very long.

Ok. Then do it.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

Your very lucky you have such a congenial relationship with your ex. I can tell you that you are getting close to crossing her and when you do she will deny you contact without even letting you know. You’ll just show up one day and told to leave or the police will be coming.

My ex was fine until she met Mr. Moneybags. I’m a doctor but this guy was trust fund rich. After a few years he wanted her to move with him. We had 50/50 which was really 60/40 in my favor because of her traveling with Mr. Moneybags all the time.

She took me to court, refused to spend any time in my presence. She went as far as keeping my son home from baseball, that he loved, if I went to a game. And we lived 10 min apart.

It’s great you can work it out but most guys do not. Most custody goes to mothers and they can change the rules whenever they want. You are their at her pleasure. When you become a problem. Like your son is not attending to mommies needs and spending too much time with you. Then, your out.

Children belong to woman. Before children became monetized for women to suck money out of men there was no advantage to women having children. So, they gave custody to the husband under the understanding that he would pay for the children. Then, along with modern political feminism, born in 1848, came demands for child support so mommy doesn’t ever have to work again.

My advice, taken from a man who has been there and got the tee shirt is to walk away. Don’t fight for custody. If she gives it to you take it but don’t go to one day of court over it. Walk the f~~~ away. If the kids love you or will ever have any love for you wait until they are adults to contact them. If you fight she will turn the children against you and they will hate you forever.

Leave her longing for you to come save her. F~~~ her and her spawn.

Walk away.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

the most important part of the OP is your son asking you to take him out of her presence. He asked YOU to help him escape HER. Don’t let the significance of that get past you without you realizing it for what it is.

Your ex most definitely realized it for what it is. She not only hasn’t protected him from this stress related illness, he has identified her as an aggravating factor of it, and has spoken up to asked to be removed from her in the midst of her exacerbation of it.

No wonder she blew up. She just got a failing grade at parenting from the kid. Not the teacher, or the relatives, or the media, or you or some other source she can easily ignore. HER KID just gave her a failing grade at parenting, and at least at that moment, fired her from her role as parent. I’m surprised she didn’t blow up even worse than she did.

My prediction is that she will continue the same behaviors she has already engaged in that contributed to this illness (and may be solely responsible for it). I predict that it will continue to make your kid anxious and sick, and that he will continue to speak up in an effort to escape her. Her reaction to that is predictable…

Brace yourself for more of this. And to the extent that you can, prepare for what happens when he announces that he doesn’t want to live with mommy anymore. She will not take that quietly. But I believe that message IS coming…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

Brace your son for more of this. It’s kids that are the ones who get hurt. She will use your child if she needs to make herself feel better.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

Asking for PERMISSION to pick up your own son?

Well of course. Don’t want the state coming after you for seeing your own kid without having exclusive permission right? Might need to get a court order to come in to just pick you kid up when his sick. Or go to school events.

And what is the Number one reason why men are complaining about today? WOMEN. Not children being f~~~ed over by women. Not the state f~~~ing up our kids. Nope. Every GOD DAMN SHOW or Media content out here never talks about the effects that this has on our young men.

I could see if it was a daughter. She would be best with her mother of course..(SARCASM OVERLOAD) But lets just put a young man there. And maybe lets just keep going along with this FAILED social experiment.

Here we got a Problem. It’s clear as day. And of course, as parents we can do nothing. Narwal can do nothing. And the court can do nothing, And the doctors, they won’t do nothing. And the Republican FEMALE and MALE politicians are to busy… Doing nothing. Good thing we have a rule of law and a eye on doing the right thing. I mean, what’s the harm RIGHT?

Besides. Its better for all the other men that will be able to take advantage of these future wage slaves, and future cucks. Nothing makes me PROUDER to see GOOD men have a stunted future while the rest of the world takes over. GOOD JOB EVERYONE!

Is it any wonder why men are bothering trying to REFORM the system? Just so they other side can REFORM their TACTICS?

LETS JUST SET UP a 1-800 NUMBER and a TASK FORCE of the SAME PEOPLE who DID IT IN THE FIRST PLACE! YEA!!!

100% of dead kids agree. IT WORKS!

Even the ALIVE ones that survived this s~~~! WHOA!@ SO much GOOD PUSSY can be delivered TO YOUR DOOR!

Years later, these women turn out GREAT! AMAZING!

Mom everywhere Are SO HAPPY to see such a great system work for them. LOOK at the LOVE PEOPLE! LOOK AT IT!

Look! A NEW generation right here that can do it all over again!

And WHAT a guy! THIS MAN is working harder EACH DAY to make sure that YOU ALL OF YOU enjoy all these great benefits!

Clyde Saiki, Director of Oregon Department of Human Services,

And SO MANY men are just getting REALLY the attention they need to change things. SURE!

And so lets get real here. If the STATE can LIE. And the Family court IS ALLOWED TO DO THIS?

I think we got BIGGER PROBLEMS.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

It might be a good idea to get him away for a while. By chance do your parents have a good relationship with your son, and a distance away.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[MonkParticipant 17047]

narwhal wrote:

S… it’s definitely not a temporary sickness and most like IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) or Ulcerated Colitis (there is history in the family).

The drama going on around him almost certainly plays a role, but since there’s a family history of bowel problems it might pay to consider Crohn’s Disease.

It seems to have blown over now, but I am sure she is still angry at me.

She isn’t ‘angry’, she HATES you.

What bothered me the most is old instincts tried to kick in. I felt bad and guilty about it, like I should apologize. I wanted to try and explain things to her, what she wasn’t seeing.

Accept that your enemy (yes, she is your enemy), is uncivilised and capable of anything, and yet incapable of reason.

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