Dating Post Divorce with Kid

[VanXingParticipant 98]

Hi Fellas,

I am in the middle of my divorce and have a 22 month old daughter. The Ex petitioned for divorce and moved out of our marital home due to “not feeling secure” and “You didn’t do enough”. She’s the one that pushed for marriage and kids and now divorce. I’ve lived like a monk for about 4 month and then started going out casually to get better idea of how I want to live post divorce.

I noticed that even tho I live in one of the biggest cities in the country everyone seems to be connected one way or another. I’ve already gone through a couple of girls that had I not been married with a kid I would have had a great time dating them for a while. They find out about my history and then the relationship comes to a screeching halt. The constant texting before immediately stops. They’re still polite but no longer that crazy interest that they had before.

I know my pool of quality females have gone down significantly due to my history. This is my current reality but at least I’m red pill now and won’t be getting into any committed relationship ever again. I’m OK with dating someone who’s divorced but definitely not a single mom. I do prefer girls in their mid 20’s, they’re more innocent, easier to deal with and better looking. The ones in their 30’s take the initiative but have annoying counter game and can go from Hot to Cold on a dime. I know the 20 year olds will become the 30 year olds sooner or later but I’m renting not buying…

I admire brothers here that can live without females forever, but for me I need female attention and sex. I don’t plan to commit ever again but I do want a relationship where I can get those two things.

I’ve told my close friends about what I’m going through but have not told distant friends or coworkers as I don’t like the notoriety especially in a work environment.

What have the wise brothers here in similar situation done to deal with this?

Key Questions:
1. When do you bring up your history? Later when it gets serious or early on when the topic is brought up?
2. Do you continue to contact them to escalate when their interest has waned?
3. How did you work around your schedule for both your kid(s) and dating?
4. When did you tell your friends and coworkers about your divorce situation and how did that pan out?
5. What are you preference in women now that you’re divorced?

[Anonymous 3]

Prostitution answers all of your questions.

[MecklotParticipant 608]

VanXing wrote:

I need female attention and sex. I don’t plan to commit ever again but I do want a relationship where I can get those two things.

You’re playing with fire. That female attention can and will rope you into a woman’s mind games. Tread carefully.

Granted, I’ve never experienced what you experienced, but personally, I think you don’t need attention and sex. You just think you need it. Female attention and sex is not food and water. Women bring more problems than solutions in this situation.

You’re already going through the hell that is divorce. Don’t make it more difficult by introducing another woman into your life.

[Mr. ManParticipant 2916]

Do yourself a favor, forget women exist for the next year or two, preferably two. Rebuild your life the way you always envisioned living and only then consider complicating your life again with dating. Because it’s never JUST dating. Oh no, it’s complete f~~~ing chaos.

1. When do you bring up your history? Later when it gets serious or early on when the topic is brought up?

See what you’re doing there? You’re trying to find an angle that will make yourself look better in the eyes of women, the same miserable creatures that put you in your current position.

I’m not saying don’t eventually date, but for your own sanity, give yourself some time to get your head on straight and where you won’t be ashamed of your circumstances. There’s something terribly pathetic about a man trying to explain himself to a woman, like a beggar. It makes him submissive as all hell. And I don’t think that’s how you want to be viewed.

I wish you the best of luck, brother, you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you. Fortunately, life sure is better on the other side of divorce.

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

VanXing wrote:

5. What are you preference in women now that you’re divorced?

-no marriage
-preferably no LTR
-don’t date single mothers. They will drain your finances and time.

VanXing wrote:

but for me I need female attention and sex.

why do you need female attention??? To boost your self esteem?
if you crave female attention, it is easy for a women to trap you. Be careful.

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Anonymous 5]

VanXing wrote:

I need female attention and sex

Your mind is locked in on the courtship phase. Your Ex used attention and sex to get ownership of you by giving birth. It resembled the attention some mothers give.
Try to focus on the attention and sex you got AFTER she gained total ownership of you with the birth of your daughter. It dropped to nothing.

You’ve had multiple mini-demonstrations of this since then when women who are giving you generous attention and sex find out you’re already owned as a resource. The same dynamics apply, it drops to nothing.

Once you realise the attention and sex you crave doesn’t exist outside of the man-trapping phase, you’ll cease to crave it.

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

VanXing wrote:

5. What are you preference in women now that you’re divorced?

I very much prefer them the hell out of my life.

As for the other questions, see the answer to question number 5.

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

VanXing wrote:

but for me I need female attention and sex.

careful how you use the word “need” because you will get yourself in trouble. Female attention and even sex is not a need because you will not die without the two.A need is food and water or better yet urinating when the time comes. Society has fooled men into thinking exactly that way because they dont trust women to do the right thing,so they brainwash men into tripping,get back up,and run back into the c~~~ wall. You’re getting out of a marriage and are seeing first hand what female nature is and you still tell yourself you “need” this? I really really think you should read,lurk,and digest the site some more because you may be going through some type of “blue pill mourning” and retrain your brain(including the lizard) to go its own way. If you still feel the desire to walk through the landmine,just stick to pump and dump,leave the attention whoring to the trollops. From what im reading the only need you should focus on is going your own way.

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

Listen to these men! Do NOT get entangled with another woman as she will drain you of any finances left after the divorce and then dump you when you’re but a shell of your former self, man.

Try to ignore women, try to ignore your longing for female companionship and just rub one out whenever you feel like you want to have sex. You just found out how your wife/ex really is and you already want another one? Don’t do it.

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[EekParticipant 1162]

In the female mind you are supposed to spend your resources raising THEIR kid from another man, not YOUR kid from another woman.

They will say they like men that are good with kids, but in the mental portfolio they start putting together the second they meet you, your stock value just tanked in their eyes.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Sorry but no women and men in their right mind is going to want a relationship with a person is the process of a divorce.

I had FWB with a married women who was separated over 10 years. She didn’t tell me she was still married until after 2 or 3 weeks. She asked me to be her boyfriend I denied and it ended quickly.

I will never date a woman who is still married even it’s separated let alone going through a divorce.

Women usually date to get married if you’re going to get divorced you will be likely broke so there is incentive for a woman to date you anyways.

Sorry life sucks but it is what it is and you need to focus the divorce anyways.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[VanXingParticipant 98]

Thanks for the feedback fellas. The only thing I’m looking for is FWB. My mind set is they don’t need to know my history. The only reason I care how they perceive of me is so that I can reach my end goal and that’s sex. Women has used the bait and switch with marriage, well time time to turn the tables with pump and dump. I’ve gone through the meat grinder and there’s no way I’m showing my true self to a woman or committing myself in anyway.

[AttonParticipant]

Save yourself the time and money and just do something else.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

VanXing wrote:

Thanks for the feedback fellas. The only thing I’m looking for is FWB. My mind set is they don’t need to know my history. The only reason I care how they perceive of me is so that I can reach my end goal and that’s sex. Women has used the bait and switch with marriage, well time time to turn the tables with pump and dump. I’ve gone through the meat grinder and there’s no way I’m showing my true self to a woman or committing myself in anyway.

You’re not going to solve anything. And you’re playing with fire, if you p~~~ off a few women they will report false rape on you.

If I was to date again it would be LTR, but then most women can’t meet my min. requirements.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

VanXing wrote:

1. When do you bring up your history? Later when it gets serious or early on when the topic is brought up?
2. Do you continue to contact them to escalate when their interest has waned?
3. How did you work around your schedule for both your kid(s) and dating?
4. When did you tell your friends and coworkers about your divorce situation and how did that pan out?
5. What are you preference in women now that you’re divorced?

Answers:
1. Never. It’s none of their business.
2. NO. F~~~, no.
3. Kids first. Proceed from there.
4. Don’t. It’s none of their business.
5. Sterile, early-30’s, Asian, swimwear models.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[narwhalParticipant]

I would highly recommend you don’t date while you are still married. That can definitely work against you if/when things get messy. I understand the need for sex, but you are much better off taking matters into your own hands.

Understand that you are not in a normal period in your life. The traumatic nature of divorce is surely driving your need to get validation from women…it certainly did for me. I felt liked I need to know I was still wanted, after such a horrific rejection. But it passed. Be strong and preserve.

Key Questions:
1. When do you bring up your history? Later when it gets serious or early on when the topic is brought up?
2. Do you continue to contact them to escalate when their interest has waned?
3. How did you work around your schedule for both your kid(s) and dating?
4. When did you tell your friends and coworkers about your divorce situation and how did that pan out?
5. What are you preference in women now that you’re divorced?

1 – I don’t play any games. I bring it up when it comes up in the conversation. If she doesn’t like my past, that’s not my problem. I would say though, that I try not to focus on the mistakes of my ex. I let it be known what my mistakes were, that I’ve learned lessons.

2 – No. At least, not in the interest of ‘winning her over’. That never works anyway. If I want to talk to her because I want to go do something with her, I may see if she’s interested, but I do not do so with ulterior motives. If I want to go meet at the bar, it’s for drinks…not in hopes of getting her to bed.

3 – I have my kids every other weekend and Wednesday nights. I do not go on dates those nights, no exceptions. My dates don’t meet my kids, and I don’t meet theirs. I have rearranged schedules with my ex upon occasion, but that is rare.

4 – I told people details according to how well I trusted them. Work people needed to know, so as I wouldn’t get questions when I came in looking like s~~~. Be very wary of telling married friends who’s wives know your ex. Whatever you say will get back to your ex.

5 – This sounds more a PUA question. Are you asking what type of women are easiest to get in bed with the least chance of negative consequences? I wouldn’t take that strategy, as women are master manipulators regardless of type. Learn to follow your head, not your dick, and don’t ignore the red flags when you see them.

Ok. Then do it.

[GrumpyParticipant]

VanXing wrote:

I am in the middle of my divorce and have a 22 month old daughter. The Ex petitioned for divorce and moved out of our marital home due to “not feeling secure” and “You didn’t do enough”. She’s the one that pushed for marriage and kids and now divorce. I’ve lived like a monk for about 4 month and then started going out casually to get better idea of how I want to live post divorce.

Getting involved with another woman prior to the current divorce proceedings being finalized is setting yourself up to be ass raped in court.
You do realized that all she has to say is that YOU cheated, and then YOU have to prove that no extra marital affairs to place prior to her departure? Good luck with that.
If you get a hooker, that will be used against you.

Keep your dick and your wallet in your pants. Get through the divorce first.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

I associate pussy with opiate addiction, or any kind of addiction for that matter. You keep coming back to it, and after a while, you stop getting high, you just get it to feel normal. In all honesty, it was easier to detox from women than it was from opiates. Either way, I feel reborn and fortunate to still be here. I’ll never touch opiates again, and I won’t ever touch a woman again either. Both have lead me down a destructive path.

[Author]

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