cool joke

[sequoiaParticipant 467]

Saw this joke on the Breitbart forum yesterday, just had to post it from RickBooth

.

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of
the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item
from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you
CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The 1st floor sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.

Was cut and carried for a dozen years so therefore, twelve years a slave

[MuglintarParticipant 1333]

let me give it a try:

There are three women, who want to get married.
The first one brings a country side farmhouse and a Cadillac.
The second one brings a NYC fifth avenue penthouse and a Ferrari.
The third one brings a beach house in Venice Beach and a Porsche.
Q: Which one will be chosen?

A: The one with the biggest t~~~!

"Him, who delights in solitude, is either a wild beast or a GOD!" - Aristotle (Aristot. Pol. 1.1253a) 1 Hom. Il. 9.63; the passage goes on: ἐστὶν ἐκεῖνος ι ὃς πολέμου ἔραται.

[Anonymous 0]

Okay, my turn.
Why did God give men penises?
So they would have at least one way to shut her up.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

Muglintar wrote:

There are three women who want to get married.
The first one brings a country side farmhouse and a Cadillac.
The second one brings a NYC fifth avenue penthouse and a Ferrari.
The third one brings a beach house in Venice Beach and a Porsche.
Q: Which one will be chosen?
A: The one with the biggest t~~~!

Three women who want to get married AGAIN
All three got the house and car in the divorce from their husbands.
Which one will be chosen?
NONE OF THE ABOVE!!!
The one with the biggest t~~~ had her (ex)husband pay for them too!

[xenonParticipant 2007]

The beauty of the world right here. I would never in a bazillion years choose the one with the biggest t~~~. Someone else will never choose what I happen to like best. It really should work well. One would think.

[sequoiaParticipant 467]

Adding this to list.

.

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional.” The second guy says, “I’m a DINK. You know, double income, no kids.” The third guy says, “I’m a RUB. You know, rich urban biker.” They turn to the woman and ask, “So what are you?” The woman replies, “I’m a WIFE. You know – Wash, Iron, F~~~, Etc.”

Was cut and carried for a dozen years so therefore, twelve years a slave

[sequoiaParticipant 467]

Like this one!

.

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.” Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

Was cut and carried for a dozen years so therefore, twelve years a slave

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