Just signed up today after having to Google MGTOW after seeing it in a comment on a youtube video (TedX – Cancel Marriage). Anyways, I read that a nice story is appreciated in this section so let’s begin and hopefully I can keep it read-ably short.
Just over 10 years ago my kids’ mother (*May*) had to “go find herself”. I like to refer to it as her having to “go find herself with more dick in her” as it was under false pretenses that she left. I later found out she was trying to over dose herself – on semen that wasn’t mine. I tried to be steadfast that a women would never do me like that again. Along comes a woman (*Fay*) I’m attracted to, we hit it off and start dating shortly after. Now marriage has never been in the cards for me, EVER, and I told her this – this bites me years later with her p~~~ing and moaning but whatever, not really a concern of mine as I swore off marriage and getting hurt. Fast forward about a decade or so and we’re about as low as we’ve ever been, but I’ll back up a moment and give you a run down about *Fay* and me.
I lost my job some time ago, it was a decent job with decent benefits but the business couldn’t survive so all of us were sent off to greener pastures. Well *Fay* really had a destination in mind, for myself work wasn’t really available in said destination, so I gave *Fay* a few different options all of which were rejected. Fair enough I thought, they weren’t really my destinations anyways so I sought out some real employment after *Fay* told me to go do what I had to do. So I did it, to her chagrin! (Some details will be left out so this isn’t totally identifiable by anyone else, anonymity and privacy are valued here). So, to the land of prosper I am heading and *Fay* doesn’t like the destination I chose. So she moved to something more likeable for her while I moved to my land of prosperous employment, all the while doing what a man has to do to keep his kids fed and clothed. A couple years goes by, life is good and fairly prosperous for myself. Making some real good headway in life! Well *Fay* falls on hard times and although I was apprehensive, I did what any guy loving a girl would do and help her out fairly decently (details withheld here). Life is so so, some good times, a lot of down times, inattentiveness, isolation and indifference on my part probably didn’t help but in all seriousness, I’m hoping for the best, but always prepared for the worst – at least mentally prepared. Actually surprised s~~~ has held in that long at that point.
Well *Fay* ends up moving out to pursue a dream, a dream with both share, it’s supposed to be a team thing. Turns out to be a big loss on my part. Made the decision to kill the loss before the loss became a life failure of massive magnitude – the current loss hurts, real deep, gonna take a long while to recover this one, but it’s recoverable and I didn’t lose the assets I had accumulated to that point, just future assets acquirement. So when the decision to kill the loss was made, it was hard to do but a man must do what a man must do – f~~~ the emotional decisions, real decisions take facts, figures and conviction! So the conviction causes A LOT of hurt on both sides – for *Fay* it was all emotional, for me it was all financial and the madness of such a loss (who says men can’t be emotionally attached?). So the arguments ensue, back and forth. The run down is, *Fay* lost everything and all I lost was money. So here I am, in recovery, doing well, much better than I thought I would. Indifference at an all time high! The meal ticket for *Fay* ended when I got convicted (gotta put the green backs where they really count). Unfortunately *Fay* made a couple decisions that are now hard to deal with and with the meal ticket run out and indifference running hot, *Fay* is in hot water.
So I sit here, almost four in the morning, writing to a forum of men I don’t know and will probably never meet. I guess my conviction, looking back, was a hard conviction, but a necessary one that I’ve prospered from ever since; should have done that sooner, hell, shouldn’t have been in that position to begin with but I manned up and got s~~~ done in the end. Now I sit here without conviction. Without conviction to end things with *Fay* – it would devastate her! But there isn’t much left, don’t know if it’s worth saving or not. Dedicated woman I’ll say that for sure, willing to please on more levels than I can admit to on here. On one hand I would love to save it, on the other hand sewing the oats as I’m put out to pasture (middle aged guy here) sounds like a blast! Oh sure, this key has opened a few locks here and there; but it would like to open a helluva lot more in a helluva lot more ways! I’m basically living MGTOW with a small connection to *Fay*. No need to answer my begging question here; in fact I implore you not to even try – I am man, I’ll do what I need to do to survive!
The Sandman
Keymaster 5 years, 2 months ago.
