Confusion….My story anyway

[AbeFromanParticipant 5]

Gentleman,

First off let me say I appreciate this site greatly. I am very glad to have found it. I am however confused on this can you be married and be a member debate? I saw 1 member getting absolutely flamed (Married Man) some of it his doing and some of it just because he is married. If I may make the case for married men to be on this forum I would appreciate your time and feedback as well. I believe some of my personal backstory maybe necessary.

I lived life like most guys in the 80’s and 90’s relatively happily. No SERIOUS relationships but a lot of good times. Even in the 90’s though I could start to see the change in girls. More self involved and more interested in your wallet other than you. Unfortunately in 2000 I made THE BIGGEST mistake of my life. I got married. 10 months later the only payback I have ever recieved the birth of my son. She quickly changed and every bit of narcissism and feminism came out. She wanted to sit home and raise our son while I would work my ass off but I nipped that s~~~ in the bud!! I was still the bread winner, which probably added to her insecurities. I spent my Money my way (after family needs were met of course). This just fed into her growing resentment of me. I was doing my things my way MOST of the time. I might add she really is a narcissist and is a horrible wife and mother. So I was out of the house as much as possible (work, golf, etc) but still tried to be there to shield my son. Then 2 years ago I just couldn’t take it anymore. I just had an emotional breakdown that has put me into depression for the last 2 years. Now, here I am STUCK in a loveless s~~~ marriage. Have I thought about up and leaving? OF COURSE!!! Reasons I havent 1: I will NOT leave my son alone with her!! EVER! 2: I was left by my dad at 2 years old and it seriously has f~~~ed up me. (I do not blame him though, fyi) I live in Ca., I’m on disability, so I know in a divorce my odds of keeping my son are average at best. A risk I am afraid to take. It’s not ALWAYS that easy to just walk away, sometimes it’s to late. So for now I just bide my time, sleep separatly, and wait.

Anyway, I truly believe in MGTOW. The time has come to reclaim our b~~~~!!! i may not be living it now but I guarantee when I am free, and I will be free I will be living MGTOW. Until then, if I can prevent 1 marriage in my time of suffrage I have done my job. I’m so sick of hearing women’s rights and women’s needs and all the pink crap to remind us of Breast cancer, but NEVER a peep about the men in this world, or prostate cancer (right there in # of cases compared to breast cancer). What about mens wants or needs or health issues? No wonder we die younger.

So, thank you for your time and let me know what the brain trust decides, either way I’m on your side and cannot encourage you enough to stay the course and stay strong.

Abe Froman

The sausage king of Chicago.

 

 

[John DoeParticipant 743]

From what I have observed some guys are going to hate you, while others will be mildly curious but not strongly support you.  If you push the necessity and/or possibility of marriage or relationship in the MGTOW community you will have an uphill battle.

Some will say you should be an MRA and are on the wrong site.  Then the argument will continue about how MRA are wrong.

Assuming the conversation continues either you or one/multiple of the contributing members will lose their temper and start slinging insults.  Eventually you or the other guy will lose his temper and start slinging insults back.  You will have a serious number of dislikes (between 25-100 on average) before keymaster will chime in and ban you from participating.  However you will technically still be a member and allowed to visit the website.

 

Answer good enough?  I don’t know if I am exact enough or not.

[…Spectator 1165]

Hi Abe: not really feeling the whole sausage King thing, but whatever. a lot of men here are married and going through the systematic dismantlement that modern society has put on them. When I see actual married guys coming in the first thing I do is give them oxygen and a steak dinner. And a shot of whiskey if they need it. Society has become and ideological cesspool designed to keep both women and government alive at the EXPENSE of the men who created everything on this planet who are now taking it up the ass. Forgive my frankness and my curse words but I actually do not give a f~~~ if they offend anyone. In my daily life, I see men now having to sneak off to just have a damn conversation without being judged and it is a fact that women now feel entitled to the contents of our minds which I think is a bunch of bulls~~~. Before the internet, Men’s clubs, golf, sports, and other acceptable things for men were a lot more ok than they are now. Now it appears to me that government, society in general and feminists are waging an all out war and I don’t see it ending anytime soon. So thank God for this forum where there is no censorship and men can learn, assess, and strategize for their own future safety.

If there is any “point” or “purpose” of the site I see it as a place where men can freely speak their minds (thank you KeyMaster) and compare notes to see how their experiences and ideas might be the same and then to form strategies for life in the future based on the true information and life experiences of themselves and others. I think there is a high member percentage of married men here at various stages of enlightenment and dismantlement and I f~~~ing FEEL for those guys. During my travels around the world as a sound man for bands I have seen the absolute worst female behavior at close range that was far beyond anything I could have imagined.

I have my doubts about “married man” from the other day and I will personally stand up for the guys here who have the EXPERIENCE already to know what trolls are and who may or may not be here trying to take us down.

Anyway, enjoy the site!

[AbeFromanParticipant 5]

Sausage king of Chicago is a Ferris Buellers Day Off reference as is Abefroman. In retrospect on this board I could see how it doesn’t quite work, though. Classic!

Thank you for the responses. I was honestly hoping for more like ListenUp! And less like John Doe. No disrespect to John Doe, I do sincerly appreciate the honesty and calling it as you see it. You need not worry about me pushing anybody here into marriage. If I do that I would ban myself!!!!!

ListenUp, I agree 100% with what you say. Including the part where you give us married saps Oxygen, Steak and whiskey!! Seriously though, the main reason I chose to join this forum is because a) I ,AGAIN, believe in MGTOW. And b) I was looking for a place where MEN could speak freely and maybe I could help stop one guy from marriage hell IN ANY FORM. Meaning before, during or after that mans journey through hell. Hopefully, through my mistakes others can learn and NOT get married. I am here to support not to put down my fellow men. I support what you say this site stands for. I completely agree that men have been losing their voices and arenas to speak them. F~~~ THAT!

I do not however want to be a part of a site were there is cliques and bickering like a JV cheerleading team!!! It’s about f~~~ing time we stand up for each other again. I am proud of every man here that is living the MGTOW life. I also support every married/divorced man that, like me got suckered into the antiquated contract of marriage and may or may not be stuck in a s~~~ty relationship. I don’t want to have to tolerate “you don’t belong here, you belong over there BS”. I am frankly shocked that is even going on here.

 

Thank you to you both.

[…Spectator 1165]

AbeFroman: yikes, sorry man! i completely missed the movie reference. My own life has been so amazing I rarely watch films. They usually fall short of s~~~ I already did in real life.

Hey, no worries man. This site is a powerful motherf~~~er. haven’t seen any cliques. there’s not even a PM feature. so everybody sees what everyone else is saying and doing. as far as posters you don’t enjoy, don’t bother reading them. go mgtow on the posts you don’t want to see, just walk away from them and make better use of your time man. if it is someone who is clearly trolling or coming in like this one guy yesterday (he’s 30 and he declared “MGTOW SOLVED” (hahahahahahahaha f~~~ing idiot), then give them a neg if you want. up to you. best part of the forums is that no one tells me what to do and when i’m tired and need rest, i just go the f~~~ to sleep. how many married guys can say they get to do whatever they want and sleep when they are tired? i mean, F~~~. i don’t know ANY married men who are allowed to sleep when they are tired.

Anyway, its a great spot. I posted my story in the Introductions section after I joined and you can read it here:

/forums/topic/my-story-2/

i’ve seen every kind of comment from “that was the funniest s~~~ i ever read” to “while i respect you, i must disagree blah blah blah.”

Have fun man!

 

[BrainPilotParticipant 7645]

Welcome Abe,
I haven’t been on this site for long, but have been mgtow for a very long time. I don’t think it’s necessarily a problem that you are married. You know it’s a raw deal for men. You’re trapped in it by circumstances and while the circumstances that trap men in it differ from man to man, there are very few men who still volunteer for it after understanding it for what it is. I would say that even it’s true that you can’t technically be a mgtow while still being married, you certainly have all the necessary ingredients to be one.

The message I get from your post is that “marriage is a bad deal and I know this from experience because I’m presently trapped in one that I can’t get out of nearly as quickly as I’d like to…”. Most of the guys in here have passed through the place you are in now. No one will fault you for that.

However, if you do what that other poster did and come in with the message that, “I’m married and being a provider slave to my new owner is the greatest thing ever and I’m a real man and I love kittens and rainbows and I think there’s something wrong with all you guys for going mgtow…”…

Well, you can see on the other thread the kind of response you can expect. I was once trapped by circumstances not so tightly as you are now, and managed to escape at almost no cost (she made a mistake that I had anticipated and was prepared to act on). Women use children as hostages because it’s effective. But no matter how effective it seems in the short run, in the long run, kids grow up and leave. It’s what they are supposed to do. That may take 16 more years, but that time IS coming. (She can hurt you, but she can’t stop that clock!!) More on this some other time…

If I see anything in your situation that I can contribute my experience in a positive way, I will do so and will hope you can benefit from it. Your experience is also valuable here to younger lurkers who may be getting slowly reeled into a marriage without yet realizing it for what it is. Your experience is enormously valuable to them if they are smart enough to learn from mistakes of other people. This is part of what we do here…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[AbeFromanParticipant 5]

Thank you to you both! I appreciate it and i will stick around and see what happens. I’ve learned enough in my life now I don’t need to play anymore stupid games (maybe a reason I’m stuck in marriage, duh), so I will ignore those that need to be ignored. I definitely will be “that” guy pushing marriage. In my opinion it is in humane and should be avoided like the plague!

[– Deleted on Request –Spectator 936]

Oh, and don’t forget that “Abe Froman” was described by Ferris’s girlfriend as being devastatingly handsome…..

 

[…Spectator 1165]

you’re welcome abe. brainpilot is a f~~~ing genius.

[AbeFromanParticipant 5]

God knows we could all use a resident genius. I’m liking it here already!!

 

Quarter wave vertical: Any man who can quote Ferris Bueller lines is good by me!

 

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

A person should not believe in an ‘ism,’ he should believe in himself.

Try explaining Ferris Bueller to a feminist.

Re: Married and MGTOW… from your story, I’d say you’re not really married any more. Yeah, she’s still got you by the short ones, to some degree… but you’re clearly aware of what’s going on and it’s not too late for you to get yourself free and save your kid.

I think the issue with “Married Man” was that he (and there was some doubt as to whether he was actually a he) was apologizing for the married life… saying it wasn’t a problem and that he had it all under control and that there was something wrong with those of us who were recovering from or avoiding marriage. (someone please correct me if I’ve confused that individual with someone else)

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