cheating and no fault divorce

[narwhalParticipant]

I’ve been thinking about these two things a bit. I don’t really want to do a comparison on which is worse, but at the same time I want to ask the question…what’s the difference? I mean this in the sense of end results, broken commitments, financial effects, and social acceptance. They seem very similar to me, except in terms of social acceptance.

I’ve never been cheated on (that I know of), so I can’t really state how that feels. I do know what no fault divorce feels like. I felt used and betrayed. Does it make much difference that a woman tells in advance that she was going to leave me (for another man or otherwise) in advance, versus doing it behind your back?

As far as social acceptance, women can no default divorce without shame because they can always blame their ex husband. They can find faults or even just go with “I wasn’t happy”. Cheating often comes with shame, but they can often blame the man they cheated on for this as well, for the same reasons.

I really don’t know exactly where I’m going with. It just seems that whether she cheated, divorced you, or even was just a really lousy wife, the man she make commitments to suffered because she couldn’t keep her commitments.

Ok. Then do it.

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

It’s a paradox. To be expected. Steer clear of relationships with females and problem solved.

[Anonymous 16]

Well… if you want my point of view.
I have always been a men of honour and i keep my vows and word as best as i can.. not always posible, im not perfect.

Some women not just only cheat on you, you are also the last one to know. They break up with you, you cant figure out why. Soo you put the blame on your selft and try to find out “what i did that was soo wrong?” You try to make it rigth, beg, and drag you on the floor, then you start knowing things you didnt knew. But you are the last to know. Mean while she looks at you over the shoulder… and you dont even understand how can she show her face on public.

Soo you feel used, betrayed, and by your selft you are dishonored and humiliated.

Its is hard to recover your pride. But when you do you realize your honour is intact and you know it. You got used, and you are angry but tou can be proud that you keep your word and your vows.
At end you are an honourable man and thats what you are taking to the grave.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Before no fault divorce, you had to have a reason to divorce. Cheating counted as a reason, and the cheater was financially punished for causing the divorce.

Now with no fault divorce, it separated the financial part of the equation from the deal. So now you can cheat away without any financial impact. All the cash and prizes without any of the consequences. It pretty much paved the way for your wife to continue to f~~~ every Chad she wants to with no financial setback. Pretty cool trick if you stop and think about it.

Reminds me of the line from Jack Nicholson in a chick flick when his character is asked how he writes about women’s feelings. “I just start with a man, and then take away all reason and accountability.”

Order the good wine

[narwhalParticipant]

@Heguen, the emotions and self doubt you describe was the same for when my wife went for a no fault divorce. That’s kind of my point. I understand that the intensity can vary greatly depending on how, the length of relationship, but the damage seems very similar, yet it’s view differently for some reason.

@taxguy, yep agreed on that. I don’t quite get why the rules changed on that. I get no fault in general, by see no benefit in effectively encouraging cheating by removing the costs.

Ok. Then do it.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

narwhal wrote:

@heguen, the emotions and self doubt you describe was the same for when my wife went for a no fault divorce. That’s kind of my point. I understand that the intensity can vary greatly depending on how, the length of relationship, but the damage seems very similar, yet it’s view differently for some reason.

@taxguy, yep agreed on that. I don’t quite get why the rules changed on that. I get no fault in general, by see no benefit in effectively encouraging cheating by removing the costs.

The rules changed because women fought for the rules to change. Before no fault, there had to be a reason to get divorced. If the guy wasn’t banging someone else or beating the s~~~ out of her, there was really no way to cash in. If she cheated, she was awarded a very small sum.

Feminists were the one’s that argued that it was almost a form of slavery to be stuck with the guy and not be able to keep up her current standard of living without being in a loveless marriage. Of course, she could have made a better decision and married a nicer guy with a little less money.

For the record, I’m fine with no fault divorce. I just don’t appreciate the cash and prizes that are transferred in the divorce contract.

No fault divorce in its current state is pretty much having your cake and eating it too for women.

Order the good wine

[EinherjarParticipant 608]

Interesting topic! Both of these issues does indeed have a grave impact on a man’s emotions, no matter how little he wishes to admit to it. The common denominator is the betrayal, above anything else. To be betrayed, no matter the reason or circumstances, is a violation of trust. Trust is a gift of which you only bestow upon a select few people during ones lifetime. Perhaps the biggest punishment is the regret that you gave this trust to an undeserving person. It is a violation of your own self-worth. It is indeed difficult to relapse from such a thing, and it becomes a scar which never truly heals.

Luckily, for us red-pill men, there is an antidote to avoid these kinds of betrayals before they happen.

# By acknowledging that all women are hypergamous by nature, you will never see any reason to trust them. They will all cheat, eventually.
# By acknowledging that all women see marriage as a business-deal, and that your very existence is (according to herself) to serve her every need. Such a one-sided agreement can never exist for long, much in the same manner that a servant can never trust his master. The party with the most power always incites distrust from the other party.

The attitude which women have towards men is, when it comes to it, very dark. Who could really perceive that such beautiful creatures keep so little regard for a man’s worth. It gives joy to heart, truly, to have lost the need to be validated by such conspiring females.

The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal - Aristotle (384 - 322 BC)

[Truthseekr303Participant 34]

@einharjar hit it right on the head. How each event feels will vary from man to man but we can all agree that it’s pretty s~~~ty. But the fact is, most women will cheat. If she’s a five a higher then will she cheat at least one time during your relationship or marriage. Why do I say this? Women are insatiable. They always want more. If she gets the right attention from the right guy then she’s going to suck his c~~~. Some are sensible enough to not let it affect their marriage and therefore you will never know. Women are usually on emotional roller coasters. If mr. Hot pants attacks her at just the right time, she’ll be riding his c~~~ before she can make any sense of it. Women generally don’t take accountability for anything so she’ll just blame it on the husband or keep it a secret. It’s really just that simple.

[$$$Crenshaw1118Participant 516]

I’d don’t really know what you mean by the term social acceptance. But, now that I read your forum. The term social acceptance is something that really impacts me alot by the title of it. I’ve struggled all my life with the problem of society accepting me. I don’t understand what it is about me. But, everytime I meet new people they are all happy go lucky around me. Making me feel like I am a good person. Then it seems as they want to be in a friendship kinda thing they will total act as if they have never even knew me. This has really huanted me for decades. And to be truthful this is the first that I’ve ever spoke of it. Simply for the fact that I really don’t trust a sole to discusss it with. Because as a result of it I have developed trust issues with anyone I meet. But, I do feel some comfort in speaking of this here. For the simple fact that every thing I have ever posted here. I have gotten nothing but support from you guys. So I guess my question is have any of you mgtow brothers ever felt this way in society? I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I am nothing but nice to any person I meet. This problem has been a big hicup in my life for sometime now. I’m sure that it’s the root cause of all the depression I suffer from. I don’t want to sound weak but, I’ve considered taking my own life several times. Just because I feel that I have no place in this world. Women have done nothing but use me for years. So I guess this might not be the right forum to bring this subject up. But once I saw the social acceptance I kinda shined a light in my head that this sounds like my whole life story in two words. And I know I can trust the guys in here to give me some supportive ideas that may help me out.

[FermatParticipant 3478]

I’ve never been married nor am I old enough to remember when things were different. I’ve got nothing on this topic. The only relevance the words “no fault” and “cheat” they have in my life is: Women’s problems are NO FAULT of mine and the only game I CHEAT at is the mating game. I don’t even press the start button.

I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.

[Won'tGetFooledAgainParticipant 3293]

Most men who get divorced are nice, decent guys who provide well for their wives and let them stay at home while they go out to the plantation.

But women don’t want that, they want to get f~~~ed hard by Chads who treat them like s~~~ so eventually the carousel starts calling them back for one last ride. Because they are not alcoholics, beating them or cheating on them, this gives women no grounds to divorce their husbands so they came up with no fault divorce.

Obviously the women are cheating on their husbands before they instigate the divorce but this is pretty much impossible to prove and all women deny this until the day they die. Honestly, it is just a coincidence that a new guy appears on the scene a week after they kick the husband out.

So the woman gets to divorce the husband to cries of “You go girl!” as she keeps the house and moves her new boyfriend in while the ex husband moves in with his parents or rents a crappy studio apartment.

Totally fair if you ask me……

For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

[narwhalParticipant]

@Crenshaw, thanks for sharing. I’m glad that you did so. I’m not sure I really understand what your situation is though. I mean, I get what you’re saying regarding people being friendly, then not acting like they don’t know you…but I could not tell you why.

What I can say, is that your worth is not dependent on how other people feel about you. You are a good person regardless of whether people think you are or not. There are lots of people who don’t like me, but that’s always their problem to figure out, not mine. Everyone likes being liked, but you should try and separate your sense of self worth from public opinion, or even your accomplishment. You value simply because you exist, as far as I’m concerned.

I am somewhat familiar with depression, I’m actually on anti-depressant myself, but it’s different from you in that I have no suicidal thoughts. What I have learned, and firmly believed, is that depression comes from a chemical imbalance. It may be triggered by events, but the idea of just figuring out the problem and manning up about it just silly. There is a difference between depression and sadness, recognize the difference allowed me to treat depression the same way I would if I had a broken leg. It’s not a flaw in me, but something that I need help getting fixed.

This is a very good place to open up about what’s bothering you, but if you haven’t already, look into medical help. No one hear can help with a chemical issue.

FYI…I’d recommend you start a separate thread about this. There are a lot of very compassionate men here with great experience, but they may not see it in this thread. Introductions may be the best forum for this.

Ok. Then do it.

[$$$Crenshaw1118Participant 516]

Thanks for taking the time to reply narwhal. You’re right about needing to seek medical advice. I tell myself that all the time. I just seem to bring myself to do it. I’m the type of guy that for some reason don’t trust a doctor to go and tell of my suicide thoughts. I don’t think I could and hope I never do it. But, It’s something that’s been in the back of my head for years now. It just upsets the hell out of me when I try so hard to be nice to someone then pretty much get treated as I’m somebody that has no feelings. Then I will start telling myself I’m worthless and nobody cares about me and just stupid s~~~ I know is senseless. I really hate sounding like I’m some weak ass for these thoughts. But, I try to keep on digging. And hopefully god will take care of this chemical imbalance for me someday. But, your right. I think I’m going to force myself to see a doc. It may save my life. Thanks again and have yourself a great day brother.

[narwhalParticipant]

There is nothing weak about seeking medical attention when it’s needed. I believe the way you’re thinking, regarding needed validation from others, is the way the majority of people think. It sounds like you just have it ramped up hire then most people do. As I stated before, it simply isn’t true. People simply don’t have the ability to assign your worth.

You have nothing to lose by seeing a Dr. Personally, I wouldn’t see a therapist, not directly at least, go see a general Dr. That is what I did, and was able to get a prescription for my medication without seeing a therapist, or anyone trying to dig into my brain and figure out some complex root to my issues. Maybe the Dr will recommend you to someone else, but just go along with it, don’t give up.

Keep reading on here, as this site is all about finding worth in yourself, not depending on women or others for your happiness and well being. Let it sink in and change the way you think and see the world.

Ok. Then do it.

[Nathan R. JessepParticipant 1102]

$$$Crenshaw1118 wrote:

Thanks for taking the time to reply narwhal. You’re right about needing to seek medical advice. I tell myself that all the time. I just seem to bring myself to do it. I’m the type of guy that for some reason don’t trust a doctor to go and tell of my suicide thoughts. I don’t think I could and hope I never do it. But, It’s something that’s been in the back of my head for years now. It just upsets the hell out of me when I try so hard to be nice to someone then pretty much get treated as I’m somebody that has no feelings. Then I will start telling myself I’m worthless and nobody cares about me and just stupid s~~~ I know is senseless. I really hate sounding like I’m some weak ass for these thoughts. But, I try to keep on digging. And hopefully god will take care of this chemical imbalance for me someday. But, your right. I think I’m going to force myself to see a doc. It may save my life. Thanks again and have yourself a great day brother.

If your insurance covers it I would suggest seeing both a psychiatrist (getting meds is joke, you’ll get a script within minutes) and psychologist to talk about things with. There no need to be worried about telling the doctor anything, they hear 10x worse than anything you could tell them on a daily basis.

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