Categories of MGTOWs (Where do you see you? Input welcome)

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

Note: I am not sure the best place to put this.  Because I was asking people to discuss themselves here, I felt this was the best place for it.  Onto the post…

In my looking into MGTOW, what I am seeing is arguments over what is a “real” MGTOW and what isn’t, on YouTube.  I think it comes out from people not seeing people come from different places and have different goals.  For myself, I see MGTOW is a man deciding to go his own way, for numerous reasons, with a main one be the social accepted norm of everyone having a partner.  In this will circle in talks about men, that they must be gay if they don’t have a girlfriend, or a loser or “don’t have game”.  It is like a social expectation put on men they didn’t agree to, and some sort of hoops.  For numerous reasons, even beyond this (but as a byproduct) men decide they had enough and will live by their own rules, and won’t even let the opinions of women, and that area, impact them.  From this, I see MGTOW coming about.  But, I also see numerous reasons why men end up in this state, or get in this state before of where they want to head.  In this, I am suggesting categories of why men go MGTOW, which would help understand things, and also give men the right bit of advice and support.

Please comment on what is seen below (or above), say where you see yourself in it, and maybe suggest others, or consolidating some together.  I post this to discuss and come up with a useful frame to organize.

Onto the categories…

Reactive: A man is trying to avoid pain and negative, rather than positively trying to doing something.

* Wounded: Had bad relationship or relationships.  Got hurt and suffered damage.  Is trying to flee the past harm, heal, and the future harm.  Such damage could be loss of property in a divorce, destruction of property, emotional harm, loss of identity.

* Rejected (true forced loneliess): Never had a relationship with a woman, and just can’t get one.  The person can be out of the norms for what is appealing for a number of reasons.  The person is an outcast by choice and just can’t get a date or have anything.

 

Proactive: A man is trying to do something and willing to sacrifice some things, including the classic partner relationship with a woman.

* Monk (mode): Follows a path of a monastic by withdrawing from the world, living modestly, avoiding sexual relations or dating relationships at least, and works on self.  This can vary a lot.  You see the term “Monk Mode” used, and this relates, and why you see it.

* Player: Can be related to Pick Up Artist (PUA), just doesn’t want the hassle of a relationship, and marriage.

* Rejecter: Can’t find a woman who matches his ideals in life, so he moves on.

* Warrior (Alpha): Seeks power, on a personal level, and all parts of his life, and seeks to have everything be by his rules.  Will engage with the world, and looks to acquire tools and money and anything to live free of constraints.

* Spartan: Into athletic and person development, and seeks to be a real man, and live austerity and a very focused life, which ends up being on his terms.  The level of discipline here, by default, causes him to live life on his terms.  You see elements of Warrior and Monk here.  Athletes, body builders, etc… who go into a training form of Monk Mode, would fit into this.  Everything is purposed and organized.

* Scholar: Focused on intellectual pursuits to the extent, he doesn’t have time or mental energy/focus to maintain a relationship with a woman.  Isaac Newton can be seen as this.

* Artist: Similar to the Scholar, but due to the hit or miss nature of trying to make it as an artist, he is unable to financially provide for a woman and a relationship.  It is similar to the scholar, in that the man is so focused on his craft, he doesn’t have time for a family or a relationship with a female.

* Professional: The person is so involved in a career, and so wrapped up in their work, they don’t have time to be able to date or have a woman, and raise a family.  College students can fit into this also, particularly ones that work.  A version of this also can be the person who is hustling so many jobs, they barely have any time for a personal life.

* Objectivism: A person subscribes to Ayn Rand’s philosophy of everyone living for themselves and their terms.  They practice this and go their own way.

* Outcast Philosopher: A person has such a strong objection to the way society is organized, that they go off the grid as much as possible, and seek to live life by what they see as a better way.  Such an approach can make them to be a hermit, and if there is financial austerity, it would be unappealing to a woman.

* Traveller/Wanderer: The individual has a career that causes them to travel so much, they just can’t settle down, to build a relationship.

* Dudebro: Bro’s before Ho’s. This guy has a far stronger preference hanging ou with his friends, and do guy stuff, like watch sports, play videogames, etc… that they just don’t have room for a woman in their life.

 

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

This is very good work and I can see you’ve put much thought in this process. It’s good seeing this sort of thinking about mgtow.

While in essence I would generally agree with most of what you have laid out …. it’s just not as simple as this …. and I’m not saying it’s something you have or haven’t put here.

It’s more complicated, you will find elements of all your categories in one mgtow.

A guy that first becomes ‘enlightened’ may be young and angry but then as he becomes less raged he may settle in another category.

Thats the beauty and wonder of mgtow. They are constantly evolving … becoming ‘other’.

Thats the magic of being smoke or …. from our enemies point …. like hurding cats ☺

You could probably get a mgtow to recognise a part of a category but that is only for that day. Because he may go from alpha to monk.

It’s a wonderful thing 😉

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

Thanks.

I do see someone can have multiple ones going on, but I believe some categories can work against each other, while others end up being more compatible.  I am just trying to think about what is here and what works, and welcome discussion.  A guy won’t fit just one most likely, but more likely one.  I do see, for example, the monk route being incompatible with others, and so on.  Go the path of the scholar, and you likely avoid the business world.  And with each of these are tradeoffs and advice for one may not be suitable for another.

I do a lot of stuff like this, so it didn’t take that long for me to come up with.  It is possible the categories do act as modes or rules people have at different times in their life, and during a day or week even.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

objectivist, wounded, scholar, spartan, traveler

 

 

 

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

What I can say here is that the reactive side will, as someone recovers and starts to move on, find out what they really want, and move into the other modes/categories.  I do welcome people doing their own here, breaking it down, and reconstructing it.  What I have is a starting point.  What gets adapted as convention, is what really matters.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

It’s sort of like the 5 stages of grief …. but not if you get my drift.

So maybe you could sort of pin a mgtow to a category at the end a process but who knows how long that might be.

Also I am ‘sort of’ knowing where I’m heading with my life and mgtow …. but …. that’s overall … my emotions can change from hour to hour so again …. even looking at myself …..

I’m a f~~~ing mystery 😆

 

[Helen be DamnedParticipant 480]

I’m not sure that in the long run some of the reactive group members will be here in the long term. I think that it must either be a transitional group or they remain damaged. If the former, they either become a different kind of mghow or end up back on the plantation thinking that perhaps NAWALT. If they remain the damaged, broken thing, they really need therapy. You can’t go your own way simply to avoid pain, there is too much to the ideology for that to be the only reason.

"You can keep your soul, I don't want a cell-mate." - Them Crooked Vultures

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

I am realizing that I should have “Objectivist” instead of “Objectivism” for the category or mode.  I did go category, because I believe someone is likely to have one of these as a core reason for doing so.

I also being going one’s own way does require healing and being able to find positive reasons to do things.  Merely being reactive can lead to any sorts of deal with pain mechanisms, rather than a direction one would commit to.  And in this, it is very likely there is therapy needed for the very broken.

I did have reactive as a core part, because that is often the starting point, and some do end up building conspiracy theories and fight against the powers that be that look like they are out to harm them.  What I saw of the true forced loneliness, is there was a bunch in that, with one guy believing the government was plotting to destroy his manhood or something.

I would agree one does need to find more proactive reasons to be able to really go their own way.  It needs to be something to strive for, rather than merely avoid.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

I am creating a artistic vagabond stone-mason Idea who winters at home in the south building  motorized bicycles….Then in the spring, summer and fall I would travel the country creating stone artworks…This is not my work just some pictures of different styles of stonework I found on the net…

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[hmskl’dParticipant 6406]

my category isn’t listed … unfortunately, i have become a

Realist: person who uses past events and facts, rather than hopeful feelings and wishes, to predict the future

i wish i could be more positive, but can’t

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

I would love to create a patio out of stone that when viewed from above is an obvious picture or image…

 

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

hmskl’d wrote:

my category isn’t listed … Realist: person who uses past events and facts, rather than hopeful feelings and wishes, to predict the future

I was trying to have reacting to the past, and adjusting the future, to be under the wounded or rejected category.  Can you please clarify a bit more about how past events and facts have caused you to be MGTOW?

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[mackiavelicParticipant 226]

Defenetely a rejecter since my main focus romanticaly has always been finding the ONE , that girl that i would stay forever. needless to say i would have better chances to win the lottary then finding her and the women i know and see all around me are far below my moral standards, so even though it means that im still a Virgin at the age 32 yet it does happen that i end up rejecting some girls that cross my path , For me its the ONE or nothing , needless to say that im mentally more then prepared to end up with nothing.

Since im a rejecter with a lot of free time in my hands i ended up becoming quite the dudebro , friends and video games are my life , with travelling in a diferent country once a year on my summer hollydays.

[experiencedParticipant]

Each MGTOW is a category unto himself.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

I think also I would need to clarify about the categories/modes here, is that they don’t reflect who you are completely, just why you are looking to go your own way, and even forego relationships with women, marriage, etc… to do it.  Humans overall are more complicated than a single category, but when looking at motivations for doing things, it helps to know what common reasons people have.

For myself, I have had the Rejected aspect by never being able to be accepted enough for any women, and I also have the Rejecter now in that I can’t find anyone.  You keep here people say over and over, “Hang in there, you will find someone.  There is someone for everyone!”  Well, maybe some are meant to go it alone.

With myself in this, I am now working towards the Monk aspect, with mastery sought, and I am also looking a bit at the Philosopher Outcast, over how things are, but a lot of Monk here, out of necessity.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[LeHarfangParticipant 25]

I don’t know, i’d say i’ve definitely been rejected when younger and nowadays, i may be a rejecter. Girls never approached me and i don’t approach them. I still have that dream of meeting a nice one of course (similar to your situation @richardhutnik) but yeah, i know a girl like that doesn’t exist. Or at least least, if she does, i haven’t found her yet (not to mention, she would have to like me).

And again, even if i were to find that “nice” girl, would she still love me after the honeymoon phase? Or dump me like a used tampon to go use another one? So yeah, one thing i despise the most are narcissist and manipulating people and of course, these peoples don’t exhibit their true nature on the first meeting. This may seem a bit pessimist, but that’s how i see it.

[MendokusaiParticipant 256]

I too suffered abuse at the hands of womin as a child which made me very cautious growing up around them.

I never really clicked with any of them and now that some of them find me attractive I am dead inside when it comes to

any feeling for them. Don’t get me wrong I still get turned on by some fetards,hence the use of porn and escorts but that is

as far as I want to take it.

They are nothing more than a minor diversion for me on the road of life,forgotten once I blow my load.

[Executor MaxwellParticipant 591]

It is an interesting list/analysis you have assembled. While not completely comprehensive it does have a good start in looking at a number of the mindsets or facets of mindsets that you find in MGTOW.

Despite your thoughts of incompatibility I would be an “Objectivist, Warrior Monk and Professional Scholar” on that list as presented.

As to why they combine you will find a lot of Warrior Monk (but not necessarily your Spartan classification) from individuals that came to MGTOW from the financial independence crowed. Granted he is married but think Mr. Money Moustache style. If your smart the further you go in to it and the more a woman ends up looking like an obstacle to it these days.

As for Professional Scholar there are quite a few of us here that are that are STEM oriented and science and engineering can pay. A shame Matt Taylor (s~~~gate) lacked the benefit of a MGTOW understanding.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

Executor Maxwell wrote:

It is an interesting list/analysis you have assembled. While not completely comprehensive it does have a good start in looking at a number of the mindsets or facets of mindsets that you find in MGTOW. Despite your thoughts of incompatibility I would be an “Objectivist, Warrior Monk and Professional Scholar” on that list as presented. As to why they combine you will find a lot of Warrior Monk (but not necessarily your Spartan classification) from individuals that came to MGTOW from the financial independence crowed. Granted he is married but think Mr. Money Moustache style. If your smart the further you go in to it and the more a woman ends up looking like an obstacle to it these days. As for Professional Scholar there are quite a few of us here that are that are STEM oriented and science and engineering can pay. A shame Matt Taylor (s~~~gate) lacked the benefit of a MGTOW understanding.

I haven’t looked into which are more compatible with others, my initial feeling is some have better synergy than others. I would say Monk and Player really don’t go together well, as Monk and Dudebro wouldn’t really either.  Monk can go with Scholar, Spartan (Warrior/Alpha can be seen as connected to Spartan), and the Artist, as all those will involve time being alone to tend to things.   I had scholar as more of a book type, like a math person, doing pure research in isolation, and that path is very hit and miss (as would the Artist be).  I have the Professional is more of the place for the STEM type that get paid a lot, and are more corporate.  Scholar-Professional can have synergy though.

This list I did likely can deserve a rewrite and reworking.  Consider it a 1.0.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[нσтησσвParticipant 830]

Why MGTOWs become MGHOWs is simple…

Women have horrible personalities.

It’s that simple.

A guy who is seemingly not interested in women because of circumstances, ie, got hurt, is too busy, or whatever, is not a MGHOW.

We are MGTOWs, because we see through the charades / delusions / propaganda / brainwashing / whatever.
What sets one on the path of seeing the truth; sure you may be able to categorize it, but it just comes down to:
1. Guy read an article / whatever
2. Guy noticed the truth through experience

That’s about it.

Welcome to the MGTOW forums… or this topic is in the wrong section.

My Goal: To Leave Society.

[Author]

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