Can't wake from the nightmare

[StealthParticipant 5330]

I woke up just after four this morning from a strange dream, where I was with my wife, who always had a pleasant demeanor, but this time she was cheating on me and leaving me to go and marry this other guy, and was telling me about it and attempting to destroy our marriage and violating everything… and my family was cheering her on, and all were trying to make me accept it and go along with it. It was extremely disturbing.

But then I woke up. And I realized it was just a dream, and for a moment I was relieved.

And then reality set in. That this actually happened in real life, but much, much worse. I was struck by a feeling of exhaustion, of being frozen like in ice, isolated, abandoned.

It reminded me of the scene in the Matrix where Neo keeps waking up into different realities. It was like waking up from a nightmare, except the nightmare is real. Freddy Kruger, anyone?

I understand living with the wraith she became would be an intolerable nightmare on its own. That I am better than she could understand. And my life now is simpler, cleaner, and less stressful. But something about moulding my identity since an early teenager around the commitment of being married to this person, followed by fifteen years together in which we fully integrated into one another’s families, casts a shadow.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

It’s your mind grieving process for the death of your relationship.

I had the same dream, except your ex was with my ex and they were with every man’s ex and they all were wearing pink shirts that said, “I’m a nasty woman”.

I woke up and it was reality.

Peace brothers

[Two Time WinnerParticipant 1090]

My divorce was final 03/26/18 after 13 months. We were married for 24 years and dated for 5 more before that. I sometimes dream about her but they are just flashes of her bitching at me, maybe that is a nightmare.

We were fast friends, lovers and did a lot of fun things together while dating. We also fully integrated in each others family and went through the death of her father and my mother.

She began to go from a Unicorn to an AWALT after 2 years of marriage. I kept thinking if I would just make the changes in behavior she wanted we would go back to that fun, loving relationship. The thing I didn’t consider is this is the same behavior I had before marriage. After several years she increased to criticism and shaming. Again this is the same personality she loved, if women are capable of loving their husband, and married. Now she didn’t like it.

I just gave up in 2010 after she would not support me emotionally during two life threatening illnesses (cancer and a lung infection). She would not take me to chemotherapy or any of the radiation treatments. She more or less told me I deserved the illnesses and should just “man up” and deal with them.

In January of 2017 I told her about the changes I had made that she noted as the two big issues she had with me, excessive alcohol use and depression, I got treatment for both. I told her of the changes I expected her to make, stop the criticism and shaming. She refused to make any changes so I told her I was going to file for divorce. She ran to the attorney and beat me to it. She also is due to receive a huge inheritance from her 94 year old mother, which may have had something to do with it. I was working 70 hours a week and she hadn’t worked for the last five years.

30 years is hard to forget but when I look back on the good times we had, it was prior to marriage. The s~~~ started after marriage. That seems to be the rule for women on this MGTOW site. The biggest regret I have is that I wasted so many years with her. I should have left 2 years after marriage.

TTW

I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

As with any marriage you were emotionally invested. You wanted it to work and believed it would bring you happiness. It sucks to wake up and find out your were just a battery to keep the matrix running.

DorkShit wrote:

It’s your mind grieving process for the death of your relationship.

Darksith is dead on. It will pass. After my divorce I left the TV on day and night to break the quiet. Now I leave it off because the silence is absolute heaven. Stay the course and give it some time.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

The question your mind is asking you is, did you do the right thing by choosing yourself?

Of course you did. When it really comes to brass tax the only thing you ever had was yourself. She was a temporary fixture in your reality, and she used it to her maximum advantage.

Overall, it was just a dream, like the idea that you would have a perfect loving partner that would be there forever.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[CombatRollParticipant 2594]

DUDE – the parallels are uncanny with our situations!

Two Time Winner wrote:

We were married for 24 years

She began to go from a Unicorn to an AWALT after 2 years of marriage. I kept thinking if I would just make the changes in behavior she wanted we would go back to that fun, loving relationship.

I BOUGHT HER THINGS AND JUMPED THROUGH HOOPS THINKING I COULD MAKE HER BE NICE, KIND, ETC. NOPE.

She more or less told me I deserved the illnesses and should just “man up” and deal with them.
WHEN I HAD KNEE SURGERY SHE CAME IN THE DAY AFTER AND SAID, “SO ARE YOU GOING TO NEED HELP – B/C I HAVE THINGS TO DO”

She refused to make any changes so I told her I was going to file for divorce. She ran to the attorney and beat me to it.
SAME

She also is due to receive a huge inheritance from her 94 year old mother, which may have had something to do with it.
SAME – AND I’LL NEVER SEE A DIME OF IT AND SHE WILL BLOW THROUGH IT

I should have left 2 years after marriage.
I KNEW BEFORE THE WEDDING I SHOULD HAVE BACKED OUT

TTW

[Anonymous 1]

FrostByte wrote:

“…you were just a battery to keep the matrix running.”

EPIC.
Well done.
Thank you.

[Author]

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