Can't find that damn Golden Route!

[Steve1989Participant 0]

Hi!

First and foremost: I’m new around here, but tried to educate myself on the MGTOW movement and I see how the feminism movement is destroying marriages. I openly admit, I am as beta as one can be and this will shock you, but I was really lucky to find a wife that I have.

I’ll keep this short. It all started when me as a non-US citizen married a US woman. I had trouble accepting the fact that the toilet seat cannot remain up and the “real” husband is a chef in disguise who takes control in the everyday life. Our relationship progressively got worse because I became a lazy A-hole and relied on her for financial support (yes, she was a unicorn when I met her but I screwed up). Everything started out nicely, but my laziness almost ended our marriage so I took a 180 degree turn. It wasn’t enough… all the issues that where not there suddenly appearead such as the above mentioned toilet seat and not being a master chef in the kitchen. Things started piling up and I found myself carrying steel beams on my shoulders. To keep things short she became distant with me. I thought she didn’t love me, that she is flirting with other men etc. and as months passed by and sex was gone I actually hacked into her facebook account, checked all her phone messages, calls, monitored her internet browsing history on a daily basis for MONTHS.
This woman has never ever attempted to want something from other men other than answer business related topics or chat with old friends. She is damn clueless about computers. Not one search that sounded alarming, not vibrators, not porn, not dating, not pictures of hot men, nothing.
The only thing I could find was months before she met me, where she actually discussed a male doctor between her girlfriend and she said “I’d grab him in a heartbeat”. And we met close to 3 years now.

So why the hell am I wasting your time writing this? Because I found out that she is hardcore feminist. But most importantly openly admitted to me why she doesn’t love me the way she does – she wants me to take charge.
I tried to educate myself on the topic, but everybody has different opinions on this subject and I can’t understand the basic philosophy.
So of course, sex was limited but not in a common way. She never initiated. Told me that “The man has the penis, and the woman has the vagina. The man inserts the penis in the <span class=”il”>vagina.” So I just gave in and started initiating. She has never refused to have sex with me. Instead, made her happy that I’m acting like a “man”.</span>

But problems were not solve just by this.
It’s been over a year now since she told me what she misses in me, and I still couldn’t change my ways… I tend to drift between the extremes.
I can love a woman from the bottom of my heart, or not love her at all. Tried to find that golden route, that balance where you care about her, but not beeing needy at the same time. It’s been over one ####ing year and I still couldn’t find that balance!!!!!!! Should I just give up? Should I just accept being a beta? I believe that if something could point me to the basic philosophies and me not trying to jump the gun all the time,  then it could work.

Any alphas out there that could point me in the right direction before I end up letting this go? I believe she is a unicorn turned into a feminist by defense mechanism. Even if I cannot reverse things, then I want to leave this marriage holding my head up high and showing that I could have been that man she wanted me in the first place.

Thanks!

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

She is not a Unicorn.  She is a bottom.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[Anonymous 5]

I think you should get a bigger strap on and show her who’s boss.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Steve1989 wrote:

Any alphas out there that could point me in the right direction before I end up letting this go?

Let it go.

I believe she is a unicorn turned into a feminist by defense mechanism.

I believe you are mistaken.

She’s an AWALT feminist who’s stopped dissembling.

[slowjoParticipant 15]

I’m kind of in the same boat as you. I have not found any evidence of infidelity. My wife puts a our two children’s needs first and foremost in our relationship, I’m always last on her list. We had a discussion last week and her answer to why I’m always last “you can take care of your self” this was while she was explaining everything she has to do on a daily basis. I do feel for you and wish you the best of luck. Remember we are not alone as we gain knowledge from others here at MGTOW.

[RoyDalParticipant]

@steve1989,

You are in good company. If you read the threads on this site, you will find many, too many, men in similar circumstances. The details are different, but the truth is the same.

This is the only advice I can offer.
Toilet seat up: Close the second flap and cover the hole. She’ll have to bend over to raise the thing before sitting down, which is just as much work for her. That’s how I got my revenge, and I was doing her bidding. (No, we weren’t married, another story.) There is also a very good health-related reason for doing this before flushing, but a little daily revenge is reason enough.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Steve1989Participant 0]

Thanks for the replies gentlemen! I have honestly nothing to lose if it would come to divorce. I don’t have kids. Her salary is multiple times higher than mine. She is pretty much of a woman who can take care of herself and tells men to grow b~~~~.

One thing I’d like to suggest since I saw that there are people in the same boat, and there are surely ones who are just lurking on the forums:

If you let your wife use facebook, then I guarantee she will never be the same. Either your marriage becomes worse, or better in the long-run (but 99% chance worse). You see my wife is not even flirting with men, it’s the damn girls who put pressure on her. What do lonely women in their 40s do when they have a facebook account? Well, first of all they become “spiritual” and do yoga, divine power, share their stupid spiritual quotes with the background picture etc.
That, or if you become unfortunate, then you will find her setting up dates and riding sausages behind your back.
Facebook is basically a narcissistic bootcamp. A holy ground for attention seeking.

My wife wasn’t like that….. but after we got into arguments, she ran into the arms of these lonely, feminist, “fake buddhist” women who reassured her that I don’t worth her time and there are better men out there and so on. It teaches her to run away from problems instead of facing them (because they are narrow minded people and clueless of the psychological effects of emotional burden physically altering the brain from minor- to major PTSD-s.) Months have passed by and my wife became from reasoning, to nearly a woman with the shotgun and 10 cats. I remember a time when I tried to point out to her that she spends too much time on facebook. It ended in screaming and shouting so I just left it.

Now that I think back… I was a “yes, honey” guy all along. I believe it’s too late now to become more of an alpha, since when I tried I either did it wrong or she yelled and screamed with me and called me an A-hole. But then she wants me to take charge. WOMEN

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