Can you pay me more attention, please?

[oruixo13Participant 23]

I think MGTOW is going to save my life. Let me tell you my current situation.

I met this girl 2 years and 2 months ago. We started dating and 6 months later we moved together. We both are rather young (we met when we were around 23). The thing is that I don’t know why but she has managed to absorb my complete life. She requires my complete attention at all times when we are home and gets very emotional when I say I would like to have more time on my own. Starts to cry and all the drama starts.

Now, we started the paperwork to be a civil union in 6 months. After that would come marriage and children.
I am guy who have ideas about projects and stuff that require time and I see my life completely orchestrated by her.

The only thing I want is to be free and tell her that she can find another guy to provide her with all the attention and time that she deserves by marrying him.

I plan to drop the bomb shortly (in a month or less).

How do you think I could put it? What precautions should I take?

I won’t have sex with her so that she cannot get pregnant by pinning the condoms.
Also she is a true drama queen and I fear that she will destroy my belongings or harm me.

[RebaneParticipant 215]

Change the locks and drop the bomb on neutral ground. Seems like a psycho.
Get a recorder.

[oruixo13Participant 23]

The problem with the apartment is that we got one for a couple, that is, bigger. I plan to leave the apartment to her and move out.

I am thinking about paying her the difference between a one-person apartment and a couple’s apartment. Think about it as a divorce settlement.

This is going to upset many people: her friends, my parents, her parents and her family.

But I don’t care. I cannot stand this s~~~ any more.

[Jon the Ex-SquidParticipant 298]

oruixo13 wrote:

Now, we started the paperwork to be a civil union in 6 months.

So at this point your only legal obligation is to pay your part of the rent? You haven’t joined in civil union yet?

[UntamedParticipant]

You had better plan your exit well. She does sound like a psycho. You’ve got some trouble ahead of you. Better prepare the field of battle to answer or deflect any attack. They’ll come from all directions, you know this. The best way to start is a place of your own. And why pay anything to her?
You have some connection to unplug for a while as well. Mangina “friends”, White Knight co-workers, NAWALT aunts and so on… until blue-pill effects vanish and red pills take effect.
Have a read here at MGTOW.com You’ll find a wealth of info that will help you out.
Stay strong

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[oruixo13Participant 23]

We haven’t joined in civil union yet

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

I suggest you save up some money move out. If you can’t afford your own apartment right now, you can share a house with other roommates until you have enough money to live on your own. If it gets to the point where she’s psychotic, you can beg your relatives to let you sleep on the couch until your situation gets better. Best of luck to you, bro.

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[oruixo13Participant 23]

Thanks bro. This website has been a huge source of support for me, along with some Youtubers. I will definitely get a place for me before I break the _big news.

[Biggvs_DickvsParticipant 3725]

You definitely came to the right place, and we’ll do all we can to help you.

First of all, don’t wait, do it as soon as possible. That may mean having to wait until you have another place to stay, be it on the parents couch, a friend’s place, whatever – don’t waste any in time getting that lined up if it isn’t already, do it today.

If you’re living together, you probably have a lot of stuff comingled. You’ll need to make a plan to get your stuff out. That includes planning for where to keep it once you move it out. if there’s some regular activity she does with her friends or whatever where she is out, that is the time to do it, and then break it to her when she gets back.

Start cataloging in your mind your most valueable and *breakable* possessions and try to quietly get them out first. Irreplaceable photos, grandmother’s antique vase, whatever – get them out NOW. If she’s anything like I suspect, her grief, sadness, and distressed emotions will quickly turn to rage when she realizes the waterworks/sexual appeal aren’t working, and your possessions, especially ones that mean the most to you, provide an excellent opportunity to vent that anger and possibly get an emotional reaction from you, which ultimately will be her goal once this goes down.

In her mind ANY emotional response, even anger and hate, still represents a connection and thus a continuation of the relationship on some level. Stand firm. Understand that women like this will turn on the waterworks and make every emotional and sexual appeal they can to try and change your mind – be prepared to stand firm and say NO.

Always remind yourself that YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING by leaving. I recognize the behaviour pattern you are describing and women like that always cheat on their men sooner or later. In their messed up head they rationalize it as your fault for not paying them enough attention or fulfilling them on some level.

One quick question: Are your finances intermingled in any way at this point(other than sharing the apartment)?

"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,

[KeymasterKeymaster]

@oruixo13

OK listen to me now, man. With everything you are, Im gonna share this with you because I was in EXACTLY the same situation.

She was exactly 23. I was 35. I was sick and f~~~ing tired of her baby s~~~. Exactly as you said.

The thing is that I don’t know why but she has managed to absorb my complete life. She requires my complete attention at all times when we are home and gets very emotional when I say I would like to have more time on my own. Starts to cry and all the drama starts.

One night she’s laying in bed facing away from me, and we have a talk about this, and I suggest she moves out, “finds herself”, gets a job (she had a job but something more siginificant), get her own place, be her own woman. Stand on her own. Encouraging independence in her. She is sobbing like crazy because she thought I was dumping her. I wasn’t. I was trying to give myself some f~~~ing room to breathe!!

I caved.

I let it run it’s course. I did my best and gave it a shot – for better or for worse (without the contract). I put up with all kinds of s~~~ I normally wouldn’t – just to be able to say I did my best and I was there through anything. When I reflect back on what I SHOULD have done, I go right back to that moment when she was crying facing away from me. I should have stuck to it and pushed her out the f~~~ing door. It all went downhill from there. And let me tell you “what a GREAT advantage a man can have over a woman, if he only knew what cold and calculating thoughts are going through her mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears”. – The Manipulated Man.

When I read that quote in that book many years later, I fell back in my chair and looked at the ceiling like a universe had just opened up for me.

DONT do what I did and allow it to go in for 3 more years.

She made the final year MISERABLE and was complaining and crying every other day.. For a YEAR. I remember finishing work, and on the way home thinking I have to work another shift now. That’s what it was like. Going to MY OWN HOME to work another f~~~ing job.

Also she is a true drama queen and I fear that she will destroy my belongings or harm me.

Here’s how i got rid of this one. Same kind of profile. Drama princess.

“FEIGN BETA”. Make yourself as repulsive to her as possible. Make that vagina as dry as the Sahara. Tell her how much you love her, how beautiful she is, “i love you so much”, you can’t live without her, and s~~~ like “she’s the reason you breathe”. All that disgusting s~~~ women hate. One random day, tell her you lost your job and you have no money. She will plan her departure by the end of the week, and if you do it right, she will be slurping on another dick cum Friday. Then go to work the next day same as usual, but make like you’re LOOKING for work. Be creative. You know her better than anyone. Whatever it takes to make the breakup HER idea. Be bad in bed. CRY where she can see it. S~~~ like that.

Make her sick of your sniveling beta s~~~. It works.
She won’t destroy your s~~~ if she’s grossed out by you and dumps you.

So how did it all end? Well after the break up, I saw her once.
You know what she said? “You didn’t allow me to be myself”.

lol!! Go straight to hell you f~~~ing bitch.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Jon the Ex-SquidParticipant 298]

oruixo13 wrote:

We haven’t joined in civil union yet

I agree with your decision to pay your half of the rent. That shows responsibility. Just make sure you pay it to the landlord directly, rather than by giving her money.

Aside from that, you have no responsibility towards her. Everything else aside from that is a courtesy.

Get a small audio recorder. Record the conversation. Have it in a public location.

Beforehand, move all your important documents and whatnot someplace safe (not your car). Forget about your clothes and little crap. Send your nice suits to the cleaners. If there’s a major electronic item, such as an Xbox or really nice TV, you could tell her it broke and you got rid of it. Really though, its just stuff you can replace later. If its too much hassle, think of it this way: is my freedom worth more than the cost to replace some furniture and crap?

Personally, I prefer the honest route. Sit her down, tell her that you’ve done some soul-searching and decided being in a relationship is not something you want to continue to do at this time. She’ll cry, insult you, and try every emotional trick in the book. Be aware its going to happen, stay calm/rational, and give her a date when you’re going to pick up your stuff. Tell her you will honor your commitment to pay your half of the rent until the lease is up but then she’ll either need to move or find a roommate. Make sure the utilities (cable, electric, etc.) are then put in her name, notify the landlord in writing of the amount you’ll be paying each month directly to them, and get on with your life. Also notify the landlord that once the lease ends, you will NOT be signing for a renewal. In other words, at the end of the lease, your name is OFF the lease agreement. Your goal here is to end any financial responsibility you have with/for her.

Avoid giving answers. She’ll come at you a million ways. Keep repeating the same answer: “I can’t change my feelings. I do not want to be in a relationship at this point in my life. With you or with anyone else.” Period. That’s your answer to every single question she hurls at you. When she starts to get abusive, call her on it and leave: “You’re being abusive and I’m not going to sit here and listen to you insult me.”

That’s it. State that you’re breaking up, give her the financial terms, and leave. If you’re there more than 10 mins then its because you’re letting her suck you into drama.

Yes, she’ll probably destroy some of your stuff and say mean things about you to her friends. Call your family right afterwards, let them know you split up, and tell them the same things you told her.

[MonkeyMindParticipant 5340]

If you stop sleeping with her, she’s going to know somethings up pretty rapidly. I’m not saying it’s a bad idea but you’re going to have to think on your feet as things may move a lot faster than you anticipated once she picks up on it.

The bottom line is that breakups are s~~~, they’re messy and if she really wants to keep you, she will throw a lot of curveb~~~~ and temptations at you to try to keep you around.

How do you think I could put it? What precautions should I take?

Stay civil no matter how p~~~ed off she gets. Remember that you are breaking up with her and no matter how you do it, it’s going to suck for her a lot more than it will to you because you’ve prepared yourself for the breakup and she hasn’t. You need to stay strong, and definatly don’t use her as a booty call because it’s just going to drag things out in the long term.

I fear that she will destroy my belongings or harm me.

She may very well do so but it’s just colateral damage. Most things can be replaced unless it has sentimental value. They’re just objects at the end of the day.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

Keymaster wrote:

“FEIGN BETA”. Make yourself as repulsive to her as possible. Make that vagina as dry as the Sahara. Tell her how much you love her, how beautiful she is, “i love you so much”, you can’t live without her, and s~~~ like “she’s the reason you breathe”. All that disgusting s~~~ women hate. One random day, tell her you lost your job and you have no money. She will plan her departure by the end of the week, and if you do it right, she will be slurping on another dick cum Friday. Then go to work the next day same as usual, but make like you’re LOOKING for work. Be creative. You know her better than anyone. Whatever it takes to make the breakup HER idea. Be bad in bed. CRY where she can see it. S~~~ like that.

Keymaster. You are one dangerous man. You should be working for the CIA or the DHS.

I’m just glad you’re on our side.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I have no idea what you mean……….

Admit nothing.
Deny everything.
Act surprised and show concern.

•••••

Glad to be on your side, soldier.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[HitmanParticipant]

She sounds like a real psycho ..get her out of your life quickly. .I bailed out once from similar. .took all my stuff in 1 afternoon. .credit card at hotel. .SAVE YOURSELF !

[Silpheed1975Participant 355]

You got to treat this as if you were leaving a communist country. Get the most important stuff to a safe location….friends garage, storage locker…whatever it takes. Get her a spa package, then you move all essential s~~~ out as soon as you know she’s there. How do you know for sure she’s tied up? Call the spa front desk and ask if so-and-so has gotten there allright.. (Trust me, paying for a spa day will be worth it, as no skank will ever leave a spa day early). Make sure you have a rental van rented for that spa day and have a buddy drive it over as soon as you know she’s out. Speed move your s~~~ out into the moving van. If its not breakable, toss it in, you can sort all that s~~~ out at your destination. Take only what you absolutely can’t live without. You need to move your buns on that day as if you expected the Stasi to bust down your door and take you away….

She’s going to be the type that’s messy. You have to control the situation, and do it quick, and under the radar.

And f~~~ the honesty part, you can be as honest as you want when you have your stuff somewhere safe, and you are in a neutral, public place to discuss whatever…

Silpheed's Mom Quote: "Having PMS is no excuse to be a bitch.."

[RoyDalParticipant]

Keymaster wrote:

I have no idea what you mean……….

Admit nothing.
Deny everything.
Act surprised and show concern.

Excellent plan!

Any habits you want to break, abstain from them, learn to do without. As for your particular situation, watch the ole Clint Eastwood classic Play Misty For Me and think … does she remind you of anyone?

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

I have to throw my hat in here and agree with most of what’s been said so far.

The fact that you’re living together means you can’t just cut her off,.. leaving the house you share would give her incredible power over you and your stuff and most females in that situation will turn vengeful and use everything they have to take you down and make you pay for rejecting them and, in their mind, causing them to have wasted all the time and effort they put into pinning you down.

So yeah, go with KeyMaster.’s plan of turning yourself into a sniveling, pussy whipped, clingy loser. The only thing I would add is that you need some kind of turning point to make the change in your behavior believable… like maybe watch some chick flick about a guy who loses his dad or suffers some abuse or some kind of bulls~~~ and then act sullen and withdrawn for a couple of days after then come out with the new persona after a long heart to heart talk about how deeply that movie effected you and made you think about how important real love is in a relationship blah blah.

Connecting it to some traumatic experience (real or made up) that you had will give you cover for not wanting to have sex for a while… it just hurts too much to do that after these feelings have come back to you blah blah… then the “loss” of your job can be covered by your sudden change in life priorities and the challenges you’ve been facing coming to terms with your new, more emotional self.

All of it dovetails into the final move where you tell her you really need her to stand by you through this and that, while it may take a long time and she may have to carry you financially until you get back on your feet, you really need her and love her and money, working hard and wasting your time on material goods just doesn’t really matter to you any more now that you realize how important your feelings are.

Give her the “win” of dumping you and you’ll never have to worry about her again.

[MotivParticipant 441]

Agree with above the recording is a great idea as it gives you a mind set to stay calm and insightful of the situation from a prospective of an outsider looking in on it all, You will make clearer thought out decisions, She wont of course because she will have no clue you are recording it all, then watch it back ,you will see things you didnt pick up on at the time.

Cool story babe now go make me a sandwich

[felixParticipant 406]

Be ready for the “I want to talk to you” gig. Translation: “She will not shut up until you capitulate to her design.”

more throttle ..... less brakes.....

[Author]

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