Brother getting married.

[lonedragon50Participant 38]

Well. . .my brother is getting married (well, engaged anyway).  I’m. . .surprised to say the very least.

They got engaged while we (me, him and girlfriend, and mother) are (as I type) vacationing in Paris.  This is by far NOT the first girlfriend he’s had, I think he’s had a total of 4 or 5 relationshi(ts) since high school, all ultimately ending after about a year of “dating.”  This one has been with him for a over year now I think.  They own a small house together just down the hill from mine, purchased some months ago.  He and she are within the same age group, and both work.  And I should add she’s not bad in the looks department at all.  Wedding date yet to be announced.

My family’s also gotten quite attached to her over the months as well.  In fact she and her family attended my grandfather’s funeral last winter.  Comes around for the holidays, etc.  I don’t mind her much myself.  Don’t really know her much.  To me she’s just an. . .extension of my brother.

As a man nearing my 30s and still single, dosed out of my mind on red pills (I love it), and reading about the GIGANTIC divorce rates, most of them perpetrated by the wives, no less, and how poorly men in general fare when/if their marriage fails (and the countless TRUE accounts of many of the member on this forum), I was, predictably, less than thrilled when they announced their engagement.

Knowing how bad men are both in and out of (a failed) marriage, there’s a part of me that wishes he wouldn’t go along with this.  I have seen several of my relatives, most of which live miles and miles away from my general area and I hardly ever see, get hitched and then divorced only (less than) a year later – one of my cousins had “Highway to Hell” played at his wedding, what should that tell ya lol?  A cousin who lives in Atlanta was married at least once and it turned out his first (to my knowledge) wife was insane (clinically or figuratively, or both?).  Now he’s running off to Washington to marry another woman, but that’s off the matter.

Another cousin, an Iraq war veteran, also got hitched and had a son in the process.  Where is he now?  Divorced, after less than a year of what must’ve been a window in Hell, and paying $1,000 a month in vaginamony.  The wretched list goes on.

Marriage, let alone having my own children, was never a big thought on my mind in the first place and after reading the bad statistics for marriage, the horrors men go through in them and subsequently attempting to get out of them, and the fact that family courts treat men and fathers these days as little more than walking, talking ATM machines and sperm banks, I am less thrilled about the idea than I ever could’ve imagined.  In fact, I’ve been planning (or at least seriously considering) to get a vasectomy to make absolutely sure I never end up there.  My decision.  I NEVER want to become a father.  NEVER.

I wish there was something I could do to dissuade my brother from doing this because all of the statistics, data, and true testimonies indicate that it is a HORRIBLE idea that no man with any sense should EVER as much as contemplate, for any reason.  But I highly doubt that anything I can say or do will change his mind about this.  I just dread the thought of seeing my own brother being dragged through the meat grinder so to speak.  And I just don’t feel good about it all.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

Lonedgragon,

The only advice that I can give you is to tend your own business.  Unless you know for a fact that your brother’s fiance is dirty in some way and you can prove it, you would do nothing but anger your family.  I am concerned though.  You say you are on vacation in Paris right now.  It sounds like you come from a well-to-do family at least.  I would be concerned that she is gold digging.  The only legitimate way I could think of is to ask if she has any single friends that she hangs out with and tap in to her social network that way.

Being supportive your brother during the best and worst of times is sometimes the best you could do.

That aside.  Perhaps trying to subtly insert ideas in to his head may be a good idea.

Have you ever thought about a prenup?  I think that I ever get married I will get one.  I was just wondering because I look at the divorce rate and how men can be raped in the courts.  It’s not like I can trust a woman after knowing her a year like I trust you.

Things like that.

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.  Who knows.  Maybe your brother found a unicorn.  Or at least a horse that looks like one at a distance.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[The_reality_factorParticipant 211]

Practical advice from an older war horse (me):

I’d have a chat to your brother about setting up a “he-man woman hater’s” savings account. Basically, he puts some money away on a regular and scheduled basis. She is not to know about it -EVER…it’s like insurance money for him – future protection!

If both couples work and contribute equally to asset gain. Then I’ve no problem with 50/50 splits. It just when the male has all the assets earlier on or receives and inheritance etc…the couple split and the chickie gets half of assets that she should never have been entitled to. If the girlfriend/wife or significant other collects massive debt during the marriage or cohabitation – he’s up for it !!!!   Such are the crap laws that exist in the western world!

If your brother does split earlier with his partner, the financial raping shouldn’t be too bad! It is when the couple stay together for over 2 years or more where the damage really starts. If he is with her for over a decade, he will be completely messed up – the courts will go to town on his Superannuation, assets, toys and anything else of value. If kids are involved well it just gets worse. When women divorce they don’t hold back, they see the male as evil, it’s his fault and they have a right to all the assets – their girlfriends and mother will validate this for them also 🙁 in short, vindictive is the word.

From my limited research Judges can and will put aside prenuptial contracts.

Cohabitation is high risk and as such, your brother needs to manage and reduce that risk.

 

 

 

[DarthWParticipant 70]

Wise advice.  You have to determine whether your relationship with your brother is such that he will listen to you.  If not, I think soldier medics subtlety may be a way to plant ideas.

Anytime I hear of a guy getting married these days, I grieve for him.  My boss was the most recent victim, and married him a single mom.  He’s about my age, and said something about looking at marrying his now wife.  I told him I plan on never marrying.  He was surprised. I told him, “It’s not marriage I’m against, per se, it’s the seemingly inevitable divorces.”  His response to me was something like “Well, sometimes you gotta take a risk.”  I suspect he’ll be wishing otherwise soon enough.

Thankfully, my only brother is also solidly MGTOW, so I don’t have to watch him go through such.

[experiencedParticipant]

For DarthW’s boss’s, “Well, sometimes you gotta take a risk.”

Well yes, that’s true,and what risk may I ask is she taking?

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[BeerParticipant 11833]

The_reality_factor wrote:

If both couples work and contribute equally to asset gain. Then I’ve no problem with 50/50 splits.

This is my biggest problem with marriage.  The higher earning spouse is literally punished for getting married.  If I were to marry some woman and make 3x what she does…why should it be a 50/50 split when I’ve already paid for my education and got established in my career before she came along?  If I’m bringing in 75% of the wealth to a marriage and it doesn’t work, I should walk out with 75%, not 50%.  The only way to guarantee I could walk out with the same share I was bringing in is to simply not get married.

I’d gladly get married if I found a woman with more assets and a higher paying job then me, because then a divorce would be a pay day for me…oh wait, that just made me sound like a woman.

[The_reality_factorParticipant 211]

@beer

Signing a “marriage certificate” is in actual fact, signing a contractual agreement….wish some kind person would have bashed that concept into my head. They have included De-facto and same sex relationships in the Family law act in Australia as far as property settlement goes.

Can see the logic of your argument and agree with the break down. A reasonable and fair person would agree to that distribution of wealth, unfortunately when it comes to money people become selfish, greedy and nasty – inheritances between siblings comes to mind on this matter also!

[Author]

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