Breaking News: 47 year old woman describes her ageing body

[Jack123Participant 324]

Hi Gents,

Breaking news article in today’s newspaper: 47 year old hag gives details of her miserable useless body. After reading this article, I want to ditch the 20 year old tight fun hookers I’m banging and get myself a 47 year old leaking hag! Read the article for yourself and see which way you choose!!

Some gems in the article include:

I have a certain amount of baggage…I have a range of anxieties, and a selection of neuroses

Sometimes, I clutch my crotch… I clutch my crotch because I feel a sneeze coming on, and if I don’t clutch my crotch, I will wee a little in my pants.

If we spend the night together, you will notice that I use the bathroom a lot. My bladder has the capacity of a popper juice.

Do not be alarmed when you see me for the first time in the morning. I will not look the same upon waking as I did falling asleep. It’s odd, but overnight my face rearranges itself into a different shape. My eyelids fall down to just above my cheeks. My cheeks sag down to below my chin. My chin slumps all the way to my neck.

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/sex-and-relationships/now-im-in-my-forties-my-dating-guidelines-have-changed-20161017-gs48iq.html

[ShinyParticipant 2307]

Saw that headline.

Thought, “o gawd I’ve strayed into Daily Life, have I?” (Feminist section of news website where, prior to the red pill, I used to rage and carry on).

Scrolled down to Sport. Problem solved.

[DwightDavidParticipant 859]

Only 2 years older than me. I fully understand being tired around 10 pm , but the rest of it, blech. I have yet to hear a good case for dating any woman, let alone one in their forties. This reinforces that.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Remember when little girls had diaries and they would freak out if a boy just TOUCHED the cover?

We’ve come a long way.

---

Note #4: “The good news is that, at 47, I have reached my sexual prime”

…. yeah sure you have sweetie…. like 25 years ago.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Maybe she should wear a diaper.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

Maybe she should wear a diaper.

which she can carry in this diaper bag…

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Jack123Participant 324]

Keymaster wrote:

Remember when little girls had diaries and they would freak out if a boy just TOUCHED the cover?

We’ve come a long way.

Girl Power Woo!!

It’s now trendy to describe your sagging, crusty, leaking vagina in national newspapers. Where is the article about my ageing nutsack. Oh, and sometimes during high-school, I got a stiffy when the female teacher bent over and I dribbled some pre-cum into my boxers.

I think I should get a Pulitzer Prize?

[TattooDaveParticipant 6952]

I never remember as a kid ever hearing women complaining about their bladder blowing up and spraying p~~~ in their drawers.

Anything over 30 is pretty much reused recycled and reconditioned and not very well. Like I said last girlfriend I had was 20 years younger than me and she was a f~~~in train wreck. Nothing new Under the Sun

I can see their heads have been twisted and fed with worthless foam from the mouth. Bob d

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

I f~~~ed a 47 yo last year and told myself I’m never f~~~ing anyone over 40 again. F~~~ that s~~~. It’s like f~~~ing an empty shell. Don’t know how to describe it better. It’s like f~~~ing your mom I guess ))

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

I’m just starting dating again and was going to try someone around my age of 56. Russky’s experience is my worst nightmare. Thanks for the advice.

Maybe I should stick to the 21 year old professionals.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[TattooDaveParticipant 6952]

In the end you will have to pay either way so please make it a 21 year old hottie not some f~~~ing has been who hit the wall 20 years ago. In the desert Southwest Talent like that rent for like maybe 1:50 an hour. How many dates how much money to nail a 21 year old hottie. 150 an hour beautiful not having to listen priceless

I can see their heads have been twisted and fed with worthless foam from the mouth. Bob d

[HitmanParticipant]

puffin stuff..
remember the french formula..
a woman should be half your age plus seven.
.
but the 21 year olds are usually a safe bet …

[Anonymous 11]

The good news is that, at 47, I have reached my sexual prime.

That is a perfect example of the rationalization hamster in action. Wench, you passed your sexual prime 20 years ago.

As for her dating guidelines having changed, that just means she’ll drag home any old drunkard near bar closing time. All is well until his beer goggles dematerialize.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

All is well until his beer goggles dematerialize.

BEERGOGGLES, The difference between a fox and a dog!

I’ve done allot of howling with my BEERGOGGLES on! That’s why I don’t wear them anymore! In Mexico I was hitting on our taxi driver and wanted to go home with her, all she did was smile and thanked me, my friends dragged me from the cab! I told them f~~~ the cruise ship, I’ll fly home! BEERGOGGLES!

[Anonymous 11]

Luckily, I passed out drunk in the grass before I was able to bang this ugly c~~~ when I was about 17. Thank God, it was Bacardi 151 I was drinking otherwise it might have happened. The things I learned about her later were horrifying. She let one guy f~~~ her in a dog house for starters.

I somehow drove home that night after I came to in that wet cold grass out in an empty field overlooking the salt marshes. I’m glad I did not get run over by a car.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

She let one guy f~~~ her in a dog house for starters.

That’s not so bad, most guys get sent to the doghouse ALONE! A woman that will f~~~ you in the doghouse can’t be all that bad, can it?

I found out the girl that stole my virginity also f~~~ed a dog! I wouldn’t believe it until decades later reading MGTOW! That’s f~~~ing NASTY!

[experiencedParticipant]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

Maybe she should wear a diaper.

“depends…”

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

women are like cash. when you have a 40, trade her in for two 20’s.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[EyeswideopenParticipant 2930]

Since I became single, I turn down sex on a monthly biases. Right now, I will only bang 20-25 year olds and they have to be 8+/10 and not require much effort.

It is amazing how the tables have changed since my 20s. Now I can have most woman, but I honestly don’t really want them except to scratch the odd itch.

Why the f~~~ would I bang a 40+ year old is beyond me. Lol, she is delusional.

- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

[Masculine_ManParticipant 2735]

My reply, to her would go as such:

Dear potential 47 year old bootycall,

Did you really think I would be serious about you? At best you are a last minute romp when I need a quick shag on a day I do not feel like interacting with anyone. You will be contacted between the hours of 1130pm to 2:00am. Since you are obsessed with 50 shades of gray I drew up this contract that I think you would like:

#1. No dates, we’re not dating, at best I’ll buy you a happy meal at Mcdonald’s the value menu special at some joint I would never eat at if I am in a good mood.
#2. No kissing, I don’t know where your lips have been.
#3. No calling me for plans, learn your role, you’re the backup.
#4. I will not pay for any of your bills. I am not your dad.
#5. I will not listen to any of your problems. I am not your therapist.
#6. You will never spend the night. I do not want to see what you look like without makeup.
#7. You will not leave clothes or any of your s~~~ here for convenience.
#8. I will not walk you to your car or door for any reason.
#9. My friends are not your friends and vice versa.
10. Never bring up any bulls~~~ holidays, made up anniversaries and especially valentine’s day around me.

Ok that was before I fully embraced the red pill. Let me tell you why I wouldn’t date you:

#1. Your vagina can compete with Mcdonald’s in the billions served category. That’s why it is not as durable as it once was.
#2. You use the bathroom a lot because the miles of c~~~ that destroyed your insides has made it impossible for the rest of your uterus to stay inside. Don’t lie as if it is a bladder problem.
#3. I will never see you in the morning. I know you wear lots of makeup and could pass for either Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare on Elm Street or Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th.
#4. The bad news is you’re 47 and old as hell. You are a slut that’s tried everything and willing to try everything twice.
#5. That’s cute, you’re pretending I would take you out. At best I’d call you past your bedtime for a blowjob.
#6. No need to tell me about your upcoming menopause problems. I don’t care.

As you’re reading this you’re probably wondering where did all the good men go. That’s easy, far from you as possible. In fact, since you’re asking it shows you’re part of the problem. All those men you f~~~ed over, the guy you had those kids with (I am assuming he wasn’t some random bad boy who knocked you up), and all those simps in your friends zone.

In case I am not clear, I don’t want you. I don’t drive used cars. I don’t eat leftovers. I don’t shop at thrift stores to purchase hand-me-down items. I certainly don’t f~~~, nor will I ever have relationships with old women who suddenly learned to behave properly. Enjoy your cats.

If it costs you your peace of mind, then it is too expensive.

[Author]

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