BrainPilot intro…

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

I’m a 48 year old medical doctor in a major American city having been a mgtow believer since almost immediately after a started dating women 32 years ago.  I so wish I had had the internet and this site available to me back then.  I was able to learn much of what I know from watching older siblings, mentors etc but that was a slow inefficient process.  When I started dating, I was the skinny kid in high school that most girls hardly noticed, but have been very well aware of the target on my back that appeared just about the time I finished medical school.  The conversion from being the unnoticed beta or omega to being a prime target is not subtle.  I had heard about it and even been warned by a few older male doctors along the way, so I expected it.  Still, it was pretty surprising.  I had grown up in a small town and been taught the same old school small town traditional ideas about women and the role I was supposed to play with them.  I had been a little suspicious of these ideas, but had no one to really ask.  The medical school was in a major city and the reality of women was very different from what I’d been told.  I got friend zoned by two women in my medical school class who told me right to my face that the only reason they had gone to medical school was to meet and marry a doctor so they wouldn’t have to work.  Being friend zoned was no fun but it does allow little insights like that one.  They let things slip to their friends sometimes.  I look back now and thank God I didn’t get chosen and targeted.  Both of them ended up sleeping with, and marrying doctors in the clinical education staff of our medical school.  Neither one works full time anymore.  I’ve had one marriage which ended more than 10 years ago with no kids, and fortunately before I had accumulated much in the way of assets to fight over.  She was a classic trophy wife and despite what she’d mis-represented herself to be before we were married, she turned out to be exactly the woman that so many of the guys on this site have met and moved on from.

Given some of the stuff I’ve seen and heard along the way, I hope I can be of some help to some of the younger guys who are just stumbling into the dating period of their lives.  The basic issue, as I have seen and experienced it, is that growing up we all get to the point where parents push us out the door to go be adults and take responsibility for ourselves.  It’s not always a pleasant experience for any of us, but men seem to adapt to this better…possibly because we don’t have much choice.  But way too many women who aren’t comfortable with shouldering that responsibility look for an option.  The option most readily available is a man who will take on that responsibility that their parents once had.  The parents will provide without expecting much in return and will take that responsibility for girls while allowing girls to have control.  Having control without responsibility, and being provided for without even having to say ‘thank you’ is a great deal for teenage girls in western societies.

Who wouldn’t want to give that up if they could get it?  Men willing to provide for these women can certainly find takers, at least for a while…as long as they don’t expect reciprocation or appreciation (just as the girls parents while raising her).  The inevitable problem seems to arise from expecting something (anything) that wasn’t expected of them from their parents.  Being a stay at home wife and mother seems nice but still has at least some adult responsibilities.  There are benefits for sure, but these can be separated and removed from the marriage by our legal system so that they can be provided for without any responsibilities of reciprocating or even acknowledging what’s being done for them.

If there’s any single message I hope younger guys get from this site, it’s that you don’t necessarily have to be ‘anti-marriage’ or ‘anti-women’, ou just need to be anti-marriage on the current terms being offered to you by the enormous majority of single women presently making you the offer…

All that said, very happy to found that someone decided to create a site like this, and that I’ve now found it even as late as I have…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[downtonothingParticipant 4]

With you being a professional, no doubt you saw Barbie Dolls running rampant trying to get their “safety net”!

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

I made emotional investments and tried to be the nice guy/white knight with about 5 different women between high school and finishing residency training (when doctors actually start making a salary above minimum wage). That period takes about 13 years. All 5 of these women either friend zoned, ignored, or used and discarded me. But none cut contact completely. As my career launched, one by one, all five of them drifted back around and miraculously discovered a new appreciation for all my wit, charm and personality that they’d somehow overlooked all those years before. Each one thought they were the only one doing this. Each was sort of keeping me in reserve for when I finally got out and started earning. And each one thought she was the only one who had this plan, and had no idea of the others. By the time the 5th one did it, it was predictable, and pathetic. I could have used each for easy sex for a short time before discarding (a strategy may of my friends advised). But I turned all of them down.

I was polite about it, and I used a strategy they couldn’t argue with. I reminded them that we had been friends for all these years and that during that time, we’d both had other boyfriend/girlfriends/spouses come and go, but our friendship had survived. I told them that our friendship had become so valuable to me that I didn’t want to risk losing it by bringing romance into it. How could they argue with that? LOL Of course, this was a giant load of bulls~~~, but no more than the load of bulls~~~ they had just handed me about their newly discovered love for me (that coincided with my new salary).

It might have felt good to take the easy sex for a while, but it would have only felt good for a while. Turning them down still feels good even after many years.

You learn an awful lot about how women think when you turn down an offer for sex from them. Deep down, they didn’t buy my load of bulls~~~, and deep down, they knew I hadn’t bought theirs. By the time they came back around and I turned them down, we were in our early 30s. I don’t think any of them had been turned down before. They were visibly shocked…an indication of how deep their sense of entitlement had been. They were all fairly attractive (although poor, I did have good taste). When it happened, they seemed to realize that they had become depreciating assets. One by one, each of them married the very next guy who showed any interest in them at all. They got married as fast as they possibly could to whoever would take them.

If you’ve never had the experience of turning down a woman who offers you sex, especially a fairly attractive one, I highly recommend you doing it at least once in your life. It is enormously enlightening into their thinking. And if they are a gold digging parasite, it is really satisfying…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Very behind in welcoming you over the holidays but have enjoyed your posts tremendously.
I’d like to thank you for doing and your recent contributions. Very happy to have you here.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[MaskedManiacManParticipant 5]

Well the legal climate would also be a consideration for me since, I started school a little later because I was in the Marines for 4 years. Studying Biochem will take time and effort. 4I can’t afford to let women accuse me of rape or any other sexual miscoduct or I would be expelled on an accusation. So the academic enviorment is toxic enough for me to have to be anti-woman as a general precaution.

[Jackson1888Participant 111]

This is PRICELESS! What a statement to how pathetic women are. I too have seen women marry the next man they came into contact with via various traumas relating to aging and lowered self esteem. The women who hits her early 30s also tends to be an absolute trainwreck.

 

By the time they came back around and I turned them down, we were in our early 30s. I don’t think any of them had been turned down before. They were visibly shocked…an indication of how deep their sense of entitlement had been. They were all fairly attractive (although poor, I did have good taste). When it happened, they seemed to realize that they had become depreciating assets. One by one, each of them married the very next guy who showed any interest in them at all. They got married as fast as they possibly could to whoever would take them.

[EyeswideopenParticipant 2930]

@brainpilot – It is uncanny how similar our experiences are. I too am a MD. I had a short marriage with no children. I got blindsided when she monkey branched when she got bored with the marriage. Retaining a great lawyer and promising to tie her up in litigation for decades allowed me to escape the beta-provider role relatively financially unscathed. It is a pleasure to meet your aquantance.

- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Welcome Eyes…
Good to have you here. I was lucky enough to have an ex who made an enormous error in the divorce process, (resulting in quick, easy, painless default). When she made that mistake, and that door opened, I saw it immediately for the blessing from God that it was. I leapt through it and never looked back. A month or two after it was final, and she realized what she’d done, she thought it over and decided that maybe we should ‘give it another shot’… (to which I responded by showing her my Usain Bolt impression) 😛

Did you get any of that friend zone-with-an-option absurdity also?

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[EyeswideopenParticipant 2930]

Brainpilot – In answer to your query, yes I got a version of that. I swear that they must be reading from the same script. I have been able to extrapolate patterns from my experiences and those of others. That is for a future post.

She sold the relationship breakdown as a “friendship that had gone too far”. Classic rewriting relationship history – 10 years together total and a short marriage apparently does not classify as a romantic relationship. Go figure.

When the bomb first dropped, I freely admit that I was blindsided. Looking back, I was exhibiting symptoms similar to what used to be called shell shock or PTSD. Luckily, the analytical portion of my brain kicked in; probably stress management skills learned in the ER. I was an emotionless automaton for many months.

I immediately retained legal counsel, fed into her we will be “friends forever” mantra long enough to get her to the negotiation table. I was then able to gather evidence of one and perhaps multiple affairs. I weathered a barrage of gas-lighting that had me doubting my own sanity. Yet, having competent legal counsel by this point, plus a little luck, saved my bacon. She had over extended her position and was faced with the threat of costly litigation that would last the better part of a decade. She folded and signed a sweetheart separation agreement with her legal counsel.

She has since tried to rekindle our “friendship” with the prospects of amorous benefits; all she has received is hollow silence. Make no mistakes, I won the lottery of divorce roulette.

- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Eyeswideopen wrote:

Brainpilot – In answer to your query, yes I got a version of that. I swear that they must be reading from the same script. I have been able to extrapolate patterns from my experiences and those of others. That is for a future post. She sold the relationship breakdown as a “friendship that had gone too far”. Classic rewriting relationship history – 10 years together total and a short marriage apparently does not classify as a romantic relationship. Go figure. When the bomb first dropped, I freely admit that I was blindsided. Looking back, I was exhibiting symptoms similar to what used to be called shell shock or PTSD. Luckily, the analytical portion of my brain kicked in; probably stress management skills learned in the ER. I was an emotionless automaton for many months. I immediately retained legal counsel, fed into her we will be “friends forever” mantra long enough to get her to the negotiation table. I was then able to gather evidence of one and perhaps multiple affairs. I weathered a barrage of gas-lighting that had me doubting my own sanity. Yet, having competent legal counsel by this point, plus a little luck, saved my bacon. She had over extended her position and was faced with the threat of costly litigation that would last the better part of a decade. She folded and signed a sweetheart separation agreement with her legal counsel. She has since tried to rekindle our “friendship” with the prospects of amorous benefits; all she has received is hollow silence. Make no mistakes, I won the lottery of divorce roulette.

Understatement of the year – nice one mate!

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