Blue Pill Things I Used to Do

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

I’ve been thinking to compile a list of s~~~ I used to do before I took the red pill… self-imposed controls of the system I’ve disconnected from… and what they were costing me. Here are a few in no particular order:

1) Going to Coffee Shops – a cute barista would earn a nice tip by doing a little bit of flirting and I’d go back over and over for the chance to see and chat her up, or to possibly interact with a female customer. I was drinking s~~~ coffee (when I have my own manual espresso machine at home) and paying $5 or $6 a pop for the privilege of being able to flirt with someone. Now I make my own at home for pennies a cup.

2) Going to Clubs and Popular Bars – same as above, only in this case it’s “hot” bartenders and $14 c~~~tails… all for a chance to look at some fake t~~~ and flirt with vapid, made up females. I’ve got a fully stocked bar at home and can make my favorite drinks better and cheaper… plus my music is better and my chair is more comfortable.

3) Using Social Media – I maintained a Facebook page where I posted pictures of the cool places I went, the great food and drinks I was consuming and the interesting stuff I’d bought… and it was all to impress the females on my friend list. I’d meet a female, friend her and then wait for her to start liking my posts, at which point I’d offer to take her along as a way to get into her pants. Now I just do all those things for my own enjoyment and am no longer wasting the time and effort (and annoying my friends) by taking photos and checking in. I’m still going to Iceland next year, I just don’t care who knows or likes it any more… and I’m surely not paying to take a female along to ruin it for me.

4) Trying to Help – I used to believe in what you’d have to call the “National Parks” theory of dating… that you should leave a female better off than how you found her. I know. This could be anything from listening to a female’s problems to helping her find a job to giving her something of value I no longer needed (old computer or phone, for example). It also included taking them to nice places, teaching them how to appreciate good things and a whole lot of trying to restore their faith that had been destroyed by bad fathers and boyfriends in the past. I did a LOT of this.

It’s amazing how much time, energy and money you have when you stop dumping so much of it down a dark hole.

Please share your “So I used to be a blue-piller” stories… I’m curious to know what other MGTOW are realizing they used to do that wasn’t for their own edification and enjoyment.

[YuriParticipant 185]

I used to be super nice and corteous. If one asked me to hold her handbag, put up her hood in cold weather, look up a location on my smartphone or let them get first into the bus. If i did a comparable little deed or deeds for a good man, he would remember them and help me out in a similiar fashion in the future. Or at least say “Hi, Yuri.” when passing me on the street. Ofcourse none of the bitches did any of that. Then once my realization came i just got back at a lot of them. Winter season, -20 Celcius, snow and mud everywhere. “Oh could you hold my handbag please?”…i imagine you know where this went from there.

The right man at the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

I’ll throw a couple more logs on the fire here:

5) Come to the Rescue – a female I used to like blew a tire on the freeway and called me for help. I hopped in the jeep and drove halfway across town to render assistance, only to find that she’d called two other guys as well and one of them had already showed up. Believe it or not, I then competed with the guy to be the one to assist. When she chose me, I felt proud to be the guy she turned to for help. In the end, she’d bought a cheap retread and then took it to a crap tire shop where they broke off one of her bolts and I ended up spending the whole evening driving her around and waiting on her because of her crappy decisions. And I was happy to do it. Wow.

6) Be the Emotional Tampon – I can’t even tell you the number of times I sat with some female as she bitched and cried about how hard her job was, how depressed she was or how her boyfriend or husband was mistreating her. At one point, I even took some dude’s girlfriend to the OB/GYN to get her bits checked then went back and held her hand wile they burned a pre-cancerous chunk of her cervix off. Trust me, you aren’t getting laid after that.

7) Ruined my Own Vacations – I took a girl to Disney World, another one to Maui, another one to Las Vegas and another one to DC because I wanted or needed to go to these places for fun or business… and then sat there “helplessly” while they p~~~ed and whined about it being too hot or too cold or too far or too crowded. Just recently a woman asked me to take her to Japan. Why the f~~~ would I want to ruin another destination by dragging someone along who isn’t going to enjoy it anyway? Besides, bringing a white girl to Japan is like bringing snow to the Arctic… snow someone has peed on.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Yep, I can check a few items on that list too. I’m glad those days are over!

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Deus Ex MachinaParticipant 1068]

In College this really cute and innocent looking exchange student from Spain really wanted to go to the beach one day, so I told her I’d take her. I get a cooler full of drinks, snacks, you name it. We get down to the beach, and some Emo looking dude wearing skinny jeans and looked like He lived in Hot Topic is there waving at her, before she runs off to him she turns to me and says: “Thank you for bringing me to the beach, I’ll call you when I need a ride home”…….Guess who waited for the call?…..yeah, what in the living f~~~ was i thinking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Gosh do you have a WEEK? I would write it down, but I just ate and would probably throw up in my mouth a bit if I had to bring back some of that s~~~. I’ve been trying to forget it, f~~~youverymuch. But I’ll compose a list and add tomorrow. Would love to hear some more from others before I regale you with my acumen.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[VileNordParticipant 766]

Freshman year of High School, I wrote an “anonymous” love poem to my crush and shoved it through the vent of her locker. She sussed me out and asked me straight to my face if I wrote it……I lied. I had put her on such a high pedestal that I was convinced she was too good for me. F~~~ing pathetic.

Lust for comfort suffocates the soul

[YuriParticipant 185]

Gosh do you have a WEEK?

Eherm…. Slushayte vy , moy brat.

In the mean time:

1.) The Translator – I am quite good at languages. By age 6 i spoke fluent German just by watching cartoons, by age 12 i spoke fluent English just by playing video games. As such, languages and linguistics was something i always was quite known for being good at. I knew it, my parents and teachers knew it…and the girls in my class knew it too. All too well to be honest. I would spend a lot of my time in grade school helping them with homework, doing translations, even write entire essays in their name because i was told it is the “gentleman” thing to do. At around the same time i had my awakening and stopped helping them with it, their grades dropped significantly. Coincidence, i’m sure.

2.) Mother Father Gentleman – Opening doors. Holding and guarding their handbags. Holding their hand to help them up on elevated surfaces. Holding their shoulder to help them balance in a bus while they stuffed themselves with chips. That and even more on retrospect cringewrothy stuff is what i did on a daily or weekly basis. Uuuugh, i still shiver when i think back to that.

3.) Golden Uterus – I used to buy into the belief that men can be too “greedy” when it comes to sex…oh my how wrong i was.

The right man at the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

[TheNinjaUWannaH8Participant 386]

Ok…Here’s mine “Thing I Did When I was a Punk-Ass Blue Pill Muthaf~~~a”.  I’ll call it the Story of “Captain Trying Save-a-Hoe”.  My True Not-Hollywood Story.

Just left the office that day and stopped by the popular Kinko’s photocopy shop to print off some music business shiet and met a tall gorgeous ‘wanna put a baby in it” red-bone, slender booty female stuffing some items in a box.  There a hidden pun here Guys…

I’ll call her “Suzette”.   Bath-Water Fine.  So F~~~in’ Beautiful, you wanna make Lemonade with her Bath Water…No Sugar required.

Started giving each other the Goo-Goo eyes. We were smitten…Got to talking, chatting and Shiet. I asked her what she did for a living.  She chuckled and smile.

“Well…I’ll keep it real ’cause you seem real cool and open-minded.  I’m a retired independent escort…just moved here a month ago and bought a house in the [really high-end subdivision where Stars live] neighborhood and am trying to settle down into a new life.”

Oh snap! Beverly Hills Hoe!

Told her what I did for a living and she saw “My SoulMate” in my hot chocolate Starbucks lookin’ pupils.

We went to a coffee shop.  Had a nice time.  We went on a several more dates where she got real comfortable and opened up a Pandora’s Box of Whoredom.  She told me she probably slept with over 5,000 guys over the course of her “Career”.   Guess she had lots of practice stuffing items in her Box.  🙂

I was actually thinking “What’s the big deal?”  I was digging her.  She said that her life has changed and wanted to settle down with an open minded successful guy who wouldn’t judge her.  Said she had hundreds of thousands saved up and several homes.

Of Course…She played the Classic ” Lets wait awhile before we have Sex..I Like You.  A Whole Lot. ”  A slutty woman’s way to Revirginize.

Of course my Dumb Ass waited.  I was fallin’ in love with Pussy I haven’t Frucked yet.

Finally invited me over about three weeks later.  After a nice dinner she prepared for us of Ribeye and lemon shrimp….I smashed the Ussy with the ‘Magnum’ strapped on for maximum protection.  Thought I was smashing Jenna Jamison that night.

But…like a flash…almost like the “Big Bang” Angels Up Above were looking down on me…Every single “You Can’t Change Deez Hoes” Rap Song crossed my mind.

AND….Not kidding here….I actually had a Dream where my deceased Step Father who used to have his way with women WHILE cheating on my Moms came to me and said “Cut her Off”…visually moving his hand across his neck multiple times.

I finally ditched out on “Suzette” after a rather intense LAST Smashing session where she told me she Love Me.  And Cried.

When she did not here back from me after a few days, she left a few messages…really disappointed…”I thought you were Different”.

Guess I wasn’t. Ha-Ha Hoe.  Ha-Ha.

Looking back, I realized that I could have been that Guy in the Movie “Best in Show” hanging out with his used to be a Hoe Wife and bumping into her assortment of ex-lovers.  Being Embarrassed.

Saved by some Muthaf~~~in Hip-Hop songs and a Dream of my Deceased Ex-Pimpin’ Women Step Father. Go figure.

All I can say is I’ve had a Helleva Life.   And Got away Scotch-Free.  Lucky Muthaf~~~a.

 

[liventhedreamParticipant 42]

I like this list, its a good reminder of what not to do anymore.

1.  No more retarded phone calls that waste your time…..at work (or the second I get home), you guys have dated them. The girls that say they are bi-polar and have manic attacks, used to deal with one girl that would call me at work for the most retarded s~~~. She thought guys where following her, ect. Typical drama queen. If she had to go that was fine, if I wanted to go I was a jerk that didn’t want to listen. I hate the phone, I always have. Come over if you want to talk about s~~~.
2. No more paying (were all dutch in this country now baby).
3. No more having to say sorry to protect your fragile world. Old xcd comic, guy knocks over vase. Girl says “how could you?”. Guy says sorry. Next pane, girl knocks over vase, guy says “how could you?”. Girl starts crying. Guy says “sorry”. Pretty much describes it, no more of that s~~~.
4. No more feigned knowledge of wine. I hate wine. Its not my fault your an alcoholic. Women can shove that wine bottle they love so much right up there pretentious ass.
5. And since where on the subject of substance abuse, I don’t give a rats ass if she can’t stand the smell of a joint because she hates weed. Deal with it, I have to deal with your wine indulgences. …..I’ll blow a giant smoke ring right in her face now.

[DybbukParticipant 182]

Even though I was blue pill and super needy in my youth, I was also lazy and self-absorbed, so I rarely went totally over the top in doing anything for a particular girl. But I had my moments…

–When I was really young, I was infatuated with one particular girl, but she had a boyfriend. I pretended I just wanted to be friends, while hoping that she would break up with him later and give me my chance. I would drop by to talk to her at her work which was 20 miles from where I lived. I told her that I was there for other reasons, but I was lying–I made the trip just to see her.

–When AOL was in its heyday, I would spend almost all night every night in chat rooms and doing IM chat with women, hoping to get dates. It was almost like a second full time job. There were probably 50 or more women who were active chat buddies at any given time…I would send them a message any time I saw them online. Even if they rejected my attempts to get a date, I would persist in chatting with them unless they just stopped responding or directly told me to get lost.

–Some female acquaintances I’ve been attracted to have gotten married, and I stayed in touch just in case they later got divorced.

If you want to get into the needy/blue pill/beta/stalkerish things I’ve said to women over the years, I could write a book.

 

 

 

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

Oh man, some great s~~~ here. Cathartic, even.

8) Telephone Calls – There’s only two females I will spend more than 30 seconds on the phone with now… my mother (who still hasn’t figured out email) and an old friend who lives in Michigan with whom email and text just aren’t sufficient. No more phone calls or even extended text conversations. You want to tell me something, come see me.

9) Disney World – I used to think I liked Disney World. What I really liked (as a kid) was the Contemporary Hotel, EPCOT and the Monorail and I’m over that retro vision of the future now… but still I let myself take three different females to Disney World where I spent an absurd amount of money on them and for what… so I could pretend to be their daddy?

10) Believing I Needed Another Half – that whole idea that a man isn’t complete until he’s got “the love of a good woman” in his life. Waiting to do things that I wanted to do, believing I needed a female to back me up or to motivate me or to make my life meaningful… even when I was doing something I liked, I still kept in my mind the idea that some day I would be sharing it all with someone. I think this has been the most liberating thing for me… realizing and accepting that the bus isn’t coming (and that I wouldn’t want to be on it if it did!) so if I want to get anywhere in my life, it’s up to me to do it by myself and for myself.

Thanks for the stories, fellas, and keep ’em coming.

[IggyThundersParticipant 246]

Okay. Here’s a blue pill episode from many years ago when I was a young idiot. Actually, I should thank her. Because in the end it was not only my first real red pill moment, but a red pill suppository! She was this super hot girl I met from Atlanta. After a bit of a long distance relations~~~ she decided she wanted to move to my hometown of NYC to chase her career.  She asked if she could move in with me to get a foothold in the city. Not only did I agree, but like the mangina chump I was, I asked her if she wanted to “be with me” or live as a platonic roommate and that either way was fine with me. Still cant believe I actually said that! She said she wanted to be with me. Flash forward and she is now living with me. It has been a mere 72 hours since she has arrived. We slept together the first two nights. The third night we decided to go out to a popular club at the time called The Limelight. I go to the bar to get us a couple of drinks. I come back and there is some guy hitting on her and she is flirting back with him hard. Im standing there with two drinks in my hand watching this go down and she pretends like I’m not even there. He slips her his number, she smiles, puts it in her purse, he splits, she looks at me like it was the most natural thing in the world and takes the drink from my hand.

Naturally, I flip the Hell out. We leave the club and on the way back home in the cab I continue to call her out on it and how absolutely disrespectful that was. She accuses me of being irrationally jealous! She says she will no longer share my bed and sleeps on the couch for the next several days. Somehow its my fault right? After treating me like a stranger in my own home for the next week she comes home drunk one night while I am asleep and crawls into my bed naked and asks me to f~~~ her. Like an idiot I f~~~ her. The next morning she is crying and accusses me of taking advantage of her because she was drunk!! Finally I tell her she has got 48 hours to get the f~~~ out of my place. Ironically, I remained friends with her for years after that and watched her burn through three  relations~~~s  with three really nice guys. One of which was a husband. I warned two of them but they wouldnt listen. I remember the day before her wedding she told me she was really worried about something. What I asked? She was really concerned that her husband to be had never been in a fist fight. I was blown away. I said of all the things in the world to be concerned about thats what you are worried about? That he hasnt been in a brawl?? Like that somehow questions his manhood? I knew that marriage wouldnt last. And by the way, every guy who was at the wedding at her invite had banged her before. It was like a who’s who. We were all trading war stories for Gods sakes! I havent talked to her in about ten years now but heard she is now torturing some other poor guy.

 

I should add one thing. Years after we were done with each other I was living in another city. She was in that city on business and wanted to meet for dinner which we did. We went back to my place just to hang out when she started coming onto me with the clear intention of wanting sex! This is years after we had last slept together in that drunken fiasco of hers.  When it became clear that I had no interest in heading down that road again she made a phone call and was gone within 30 minutes.

[TYEParticipant 291]

Well since i’m still very young my list will not be as long, but I have done a few Blue pill things i’m extremely ashamed of heres the list…

I was a “Yes Man”…well “Yes Teen” for beautiful girls, I would do things for them just to get a few minutes of their time, and I was actually the guy that MANY girls liked !!! I was the male equivalent of them, but yet I placed them on a pedestal when I could easily get a girl to like me…if I had only been an ass hole :/ !

I allowed girls to see me as weak, and Shy I have never been either i’m actually quite, and most of the time very self centered unless someone shares common interest. I also allowed many girls to get out of line with me, and out of fear of being called an ass hole… I let it slide.

The last thing i’m ashamed of is letting women tell me what my gender should do, when these narcissus bitches don’t know a dam thing about us from having their head up their own ass 24/7 ! I would look for their validation on the way I dress, and on the way I should behave if I wanted to receive their attention. If I could go back as a Ghost, and observe my behavior I would probably want to SNAP MY OWN NECK !!! Luckily I came to my senses at the end of my 10th grade year (The last time I ever attended a public school), I became a total ass hole, but a liked one never the less because thats what the stupid c~~~s like. I received a blow job from a girl that I suspected of “getting around”, she was one of the most Narcissistic people I have ever met, and was RUDE to me at the beginning of the year and completely forgot !!! I got in good company with her, and ended up exposing her whorish behavior before leaving the school. I went around showing everyone the video, and deleted it before the rumors landed in teachers ears, of course after this I had to leave the school due to her white knights being on me heavy !!!

And that concludes my dark Blue pill history….

 

[TheBardParticipant 974]

Great stories so far everyone. I have some good ones but I got to get to bed so I will leave you with one.

Back in college before I got my first girlfriend I was so desperate for female attention and interaction that I would go out of my way to have women interact with me. I would sometimes walk slower to a door if a woman was headed in the same direction so I could hold the door open for her. I remember one morning these 2 girls in my math class I was headed to were kind of behind me to a point where it wouldn’t have made sense to hold the door open for them, but I stood there holding the door open for them just so they would say thank you and 2 women would talk to me. I even tried to be cool about it too. As I was holding the door open I was looking at the video playing on ipod standing there like “yeah i got the door for you, no biggie.” I realize I was the only person who thought I looked cool lol.

[RoyDalParticipant]

I used to bring thoughtful gifts to one of my LTRs. It actually made me feel good and I was glad to. Well… the longer the LTR got, the more critical she got. Just saying “thank you” and getting on with the day wasn’t enough. I had to hear all about its defects a minute after it was out of the bag. If I offered to take it away, it turned out she liked it enough to keep after all — but she wasn’t going to shut up about its defects either. She knew how to suck the joy out of anything and everything.

That brings me to this article:
Will You Get Dumped Because of Your Gift?
http://pjmedia.com/drhelen/2014/12/10/will-you-get-dumped-because-of-your-gift/
Come to find out, it isn’t just me and my old LTR. It’s just about everybody.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[In Which We ServeParticipant 111]

I’m laughing hard at these because I’ve done nearly all of them!

I had to laugh at the ‘national parks’ attitude to women – LOL I’ve done that so many times! ‘If only she’d come with me to that museum, she’d start realising that art and culture is so much better than nail bars and vodka slammers’ etc.

AOL chat addiction, yes, been there, had multiple chats going on with so many different random women I could barely keep track, I would be desperately working out how to get them to notice me and agree to come on dates etc.

I particularly liked the line ‘realizing and accepting that the bus isn’t coming (and that I wouldn’t want to be on it if it did!)’

I think this is what MGTOW is really about. Seeing through the nonsense of the modern religion of ‘soulmates’.

One thing I’ve also realised is that looking back, NO ‘game’ or ‘PUA’ stuff ever worked. All that it did was help me to realise when a woman was NOT interested. Trying to attract a woman is like trying to catch a butterfly. Start chasing it and it will fly away, ignore it and it will land on you. But ultimately you’ll realise you just don’t want that itchy little butterfly on you anyway.

 

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Great topic and replies here. You all already know what I’m talking about.
But I am compelled to add some totally silly ones so you may all have a laugh at my expense:

1. Explaining myself. Don’t know what it was, but a chick would say one sentence or a few words and I would feel some need to explain myself to her in paragraphs. Like when a 2 year old asks “why?” and then you say “well because….” and go into a long detailed explanation thinking it is f~~~ing listening to you. Then it asks “why?” again… and you answer that. Then again “why?”…… and all this while it’s playing with a doll (or toy) not listening to goddam word you are saying anyway. You think you’re having a conversation, and bonding, but the child is enjoying doing nothing and amusing itself as it watches you run around in verbal circles.

2. Being suckered into long phone / online chats with chicks who get off on keeping you at arms length. Never again. Phone / text / email / chats are for yes, no, “parking. be there in 5”, or “car exploded. send help”. Not full blown conversations. Where I would go on elaborating a thought or reply, E-chats or e-replies to women are as short and terse as possible now.

2A. Responding even when I didn’t want to – because I thought not responding was “rude”.

2B. Using / appending with emoticons, winks and lolz to communicate Im “joking” or it’s supposed to be funny. Now I just type it and let them figure it out. Try it. Instead of typing something “funny” and putting lol after it, just say it and put a period at the end. F~~~s women up. They don’t know what to make of it. Leave them wondering is he serious?

2C. Asking (women) questions instead of limiting it to making statements. Communications with too may question marks (i.e “how are you”? instead of “I trust you’re well.”)

3. Answering their questions directly. How many times has a woman asked you a personal (or totally inappropriate) question too soon, and instead of knowing what she’s up to, or maintaining a silent stance, or telling her it’s none of her business… you just answer her and tell her too much. I would talk to women the way I would talk to other guys. Just directly. It doesn’t work. Because she’s not after answers. She’s interrogating you. If you don’t know what to say or DONT WANT TO ANSWER – don’t for the sake of being polite. And STFU, or tell her to.

4. Thinking being “nice” gets you anywhere. Or being concerned that others might think I’m NOT “nice”.

5. S~~~ like offering rides and going out of my way to arrange plans, meetings dates and doing all the work and confirming in advance like a responsible & courteous idiot with basic manners. Should have known better.

6. Buying s~~~ to impress women and feeling pressure to dress properly, polish shoes/boots to army perfection.

7. Feeling pressure to clean everything to a spotless state before she comes over or having female visitors. After seeing too many disasterous female domiciles with litter boxes, bathrooms from hell, and fishbowls with 287365872635 lipstick/perfume samples and no fish in them, I realized my “messy” is a woman’s “immaculate”.

7A. Feeling pressure to always wash and vacuum the car to spotless perfection before meeting a chick. Nobody details a car like I do. And even after washing and buffing for an hour or two, no chick ever got in and said “your car is spotless” or showed appreciation for the effort. Now I wash and detail for myself only, and if the car is “dirty” by my standards (it never really is) I don’t care what others think. Major burden relief.

8. Being worried about what others THINK. Although I was very young.

9. Thinking diligence, hard work, talent, practice, dedication, loyalty, and values mean anything and would be recognized. Didn’t matter if I could play the piano like the wind blows. It got shrugged off. Instead, I got insulted , blamed and told “i work too much” and that usual s~~~.

10. Tolerating unacceptable s~~~ when I knew I shouldn’t.

This are my worst-of-the-worst offenses. I hang my head in shame and stand before you with my hat in my hand for forgiveness.

Thank you, gentlemen. This talk helped.
For my penance, I’ll go say 3 hail MGTOWs and an our father.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[TheBardParticipant 974]

Ok I have been kind of busy so sorry I am a little late with this. Here are some more blue pill things I did.

My high school had this Japanese program where one year we would take students to Japan, next year Japanese students would come to us, then back to Japan, etc and I had hosted a student the summer before senior year, went to Japan after senior year, and I was hosting again the summer after my first year at college. I still had yet to have a girlfriend and I loved Japanese girls so I was super excited to be around Japanese girls again. To make things better out of the 30 students coming 28 were girls and they split the students up between 2 schools and the 2 boys were at the other school. That mean 15 Japanese girls at my school lol. When we were teaching them about different American dances slow dancing came up and the teachers said to partner up. Now I had never had a date, kissed a girl, the most I had ever done with a girl at the time was hold hands with another Japanese girl who came here 2 years prior, so naturally I run up to the first girl I thought was pretty and was like “you want to be partners?!” although imagine that in a desperate tone. We did about 2 partners a day for slow dancing and after the first girl I was always running to the nearest girl to ask her for the second dance. Another day we brought board games to play with them and while I was looking through what games to bring I was like “OMG! Japanese girls who have never played American board games…TWISTER!!!!!” so I bring Twister and when I put it on the table a teacher says “oh cool we now have 2 Twister mats” to which I said to myself “who had the same perverted idea as me lol” While playing Twister the girls were naturally bending over each other and us Americans took pictures and filmed this stuff while they were here so we could remember. Blue pill me is saying stuff like “oh yeah that’s the money shot. very nice. keep it up”. One night one of the American kids threw a party at his house and he lived kind of in the country so there was a lot of land to hang out. This one girl who was pretty, although totally out of my league and would never date me, was talking to me and I was loving it. She asked to wear my Luffy hat which made me feel like the s~~~ and I was eating up everythnig she said to me and did whatever she wanted. I was acting like an idiot just to get a laugh out of her and keep her paying attention to me. At one point she told me and another guy to fight and we did. Not like beat the crap out of each other, but he did kind of try to lightly hit each other and even other people there were looking at us weird. At the goodbye party when my teacher told everyone to partner up for dancing I freakin darted across the dance floor so fast looking for this one girl I wanted to dance with and it wasn’t a “oh hey yuko, you want to be partners?” It was me running to her “YUKO YUKO Want to be partners!?” Looking back now I can tell she was less then thrilled to be my partner, but didn’t want to be rude and say no.

Another example is a female friend of mine that I wanted to date so bad, but she didn’t want to date me and would constantly tell me she didn’t want to date me and stupid always thought “if I just keep being nice to her and buying her things she will change her mind”. My second year of college in both semesters I would pick at least one class that was the same as hers. after class I would always offer to give her a ride home, when I gave her a ride home I would always ask her if she wanted to go somewhere to eat or shopping somewhere and I would always pay even though she would always tell me not to pay for her. Even though she kept telling me she only wanted to be friends I would still buy her stuff and ask to take her places just so I could be around her because to me that was better then nothing. On her birthday I got her flowers and got to class early and put them on her desk which she would have preferred I didn’t. Looking back I am so glad she didn’t decide to change her mind and just give me a chance because she would have been terrible girlfriend, not very loving.

[CapitalParticipant 7]

I bought a chick I never met gifts and shipped them 1200 miles away. yeah, stay away from online LDR!

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