Blue Pill Beta's Eyes Opened

[CrusaderDerekParticipant 8]

I am new here and new to MGTOW. I am wouldn’t describe myself and MGTOW yet I am still on my journey of the exploration of red pill truth. But I felt like I should tell my story and properly introduce myself, and soak in the shared wisdom of this forum.

Let me start by saying thank you for reading this and any advice or criticism offered is greatly appreciated. I am at a point in my life where I recognize I am have been poisoned by the blue pill my entire life. For as long as I can remember I have always placed my hopes and dreams in finding a woman who will love me unconditionally. I started dating around 18, because I am the shy type. I am quite and keep to myself. I am happier with a good book and a glass of whisky then I am at a club looking for whores to bed. So my sexual experience is limited. I have only been with 4 women and I am in my mid-thirties now.

I met my ex-wife when we were young both teens. I got her pregnant and did what I thought was the right thing, marriage. I was desperate for guidance and a good job to support my family so I joined the military. In my mid 20’s, I received orders to Korea and had to leave my wife and 4 year old son alone in the states. I faithfully served my country and honored my vows to my wife. Buy mid-way through my yearlong unaccompanied tour I discovered my wife converted to a slut. So I divorced her cheating ass and gained custody of my son.

I then lived life as a single father until my early 30s. I didn’t date because I was broke and tired, being a single dad is demanding. But I did grow bitter towards my ex and that turned into deep loneliness. I am the religious type so I didn’t go out looking for ass. I lived sexless for years. Hoping for a good woman and a mother to my son.

I found my current wife and after a 6 month long distance relationship and a handful of visits we got married. We were both old childhood friends. Her family knew me, and like me she was a single parent. A match made in heaven, right?

That’s to be determined. I am still married to her but she is very argumentative, and controlling. We fight frequently for who is in charge. But she is my best friend and has helped me get some s~~~ together in my life. Yet we had a falling out a year ago in which she left me for 7 months. Completely packed up, moved home and started screwing her brother’s friend. She got pregnant (there is a chance its mine) and I should have went to a lawyer and divorced her ass, but I didn’t. I went and got all white knight and brought her back home. And worst of all I got real close to the kids and especially the baby. But today I had it with her bulls~~~ and told her to shut her mouth or leave. Of course, in latina fashion she said I couldn’t talk to her that way and she wouldn’t take my s~~~. All I do is take s~~~!

I discovered the Red pill a few months ago and it opened my eyes. Things aren’t the same. I am not the same and I am not taking her s~~~ anymore! I am not taking any woman’s s~~~, they are all evil vampires.

I just don’t know what to do now. Do I set boundaries and assert myself as a man with this woman, knowing full well it might push her away? At least if it does, I can walk away with some resemblance of pride because I stood my ground. Or do I go home and explain where I am at in life and seek a somewhat peaceful separation and divorce. Biblically I have the high ground and can walk away. I am in the fight of my life right now. I am lost and confused. F~~~ I hate being me right now.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

I can only tell you what I have done, but I am in much different position as my kids are 16 and 18. I conducted myself largely as white-knight mangina for many years. When I could no longer suppress my alpha instincts, I went primal ape in my house. Now, I rule my household like Conan rules Hyboria. I no longer take any s~~~ whatsoever. The first scent of a s~~~ test and I disengage and tell her to GTFO. However, in order to do that, you have to mean it. You can’t tell a woman to GTFO half-heartedly. You have to free your mind of the enslavement of fears that swirl around your head at the thought of her actually leaving. You can’t worry about what if I can’t find someone better, what will happen to the kids, what will happen to my finances. You have to be convinced that life alone is superior to life with her. Then, and only then, will you be fully prepared to go full primal with no f~~~s given and not cave in.

I should follow that up with what has changed since I went primal:

– I get sex at the drop of a hat now. Great, passionate sex, which is what I like.
– There are hardly any s~~~ tests, because the long string of squashed s~~~ tests has convinced her I will no longer play the game.
– When I dislike something, I say it and don’t get the bulls~~~ defensive tactics I used to. We actually work s~~~ out now.
– Shelf your former mangina habits and let it be known you despise that you ever conducted yourself that way. I also stopped going to our local church where beta-mangina behavior is taught at a nauseating level.
– I do what the f~~~ I want to do, when I want to do it. The most recent s~~~ test I got was over this. The next day I got a realtor and started looking for properties and didn’t say a f~~~ing word to her for four days, to include our 19th wedding anniversary. That ended with her begging me to stay and promising she will NEVER f~~~ing try to tell me what to do or who to talk to ever again or she leaves.
– There is no more undermining me with the kids. That was a HUGE f~~~ing problem for quite some time. Now, when I discuss the issues about the kids, it’s do what I say or GTFO with said kid.
– I’m not going to lie, my household has changed so drastically it is almost unbelievable. I have probably 95-100% of the power in my household now. I realize that is just the right balance to have a happy, healthy relationship with a woman.

[Chaff/FlareParticipant 3235]

When you find yourself in the majority, it's time to reflect.

[Anonymous 18]

CrusaderDerek wrote:

Do I set boundaries and assert myself as a man with this woman, knowing full well it might push her away?

Fact you took her back in after realizing she was f~~~ing someone else while she was married to you does qualify you as Captain Save-a-Hoe. I know the confused feelings. I have dealt with the massive error in judgment in being on the receiving end of a whore’s sexual preferences with other man/men.

The clock is ticking and you can isolate yourself in a room and reason out all the facts and evidence why you shouldn’t be with this woman. But to act on that conclusion will take massive courage and resolution. She will either run off and suck someone else or she will try her hardest to convince you to make it work.

Either way you will be miserable. There is no end to the emptiness being with a women like your wife.

You can be assured that if you leave her – you will get one way ticket to hell. An emotional hell. But it will also come with an end date. The hell expires after some point and you can start re-building/re-familiarizing yourself with the old you. Before you were trapped in the emotional mess. Introverted/religious men are more prone to being victims of sociopathic females.

CrusaderDerek wrote:

At lease if it does I can walk away with some resemblance of pride because I stood my ground.

No point in lying to you brother, the pride will come after years. But the damage is done to a point and you need to decide why you continue to live with a woman who makes your life miserable. Leaving her gives you an opportunity to be happy. But you must accept that this happiness that owe yourself will come after you have gone through the roller coaster of emotions when and if you do decide to end your marriage.

The decision to leave her and stand your ground is going to be as tough if not tougher than being realized you are and will be a utility for this woman for many years.

If you can peacefully sit her down and explain you no longer want this relationship to continue without her going psycho on you, then that’s the way.

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

wow!

thanks for sharing your stories.

CrusaderDerek wrote:

F~~~ I hate being me right now.

stay positive brotha. I can assure you, things do get better. Your story resembles the lives of thousands of other men and Mgtows.

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

You’ve got a problem if you are seriously looking for answers to your marriage on these forums.
However, a lot of these men CAN tell you how not to be a blue pill anymore. I was one most of my life myself. This site has given me great insights. But the decision on what to do is yours alone. That is my experience as a man.
You need some help for sure. Keep reading as much as possible.
My personal experience is that I had to stand up for myself. In fact I just did so today with my ex. She is trying like hell to control me and everything about our children. I was very firm aND unrelenting with regard to my terms. She flipped the f~~~ out, as I knew she would. See, I lived in fear of ever angering her. Today I stood up to her as a man and it felt f~~~ing great. After she exploded in rage and I held my ground, she could tell I had my b~~~~ back and wasn’t going to cave in like I used to. She gradually calmed down and we had a great 20 minute conversation.
Stand up as a man. Firm. Hold your ground. She.will not like it but she will respect you. Even better, you will respect yourself.
Good luck.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[NeroParticipant 1466]

Back in Black wrote:

Today I stood up to her as a man and it felt f~~~ing great. After she exploded in rage and I held my ground, she could tell I had my b~~~~ back and wasn’t going to cave in like I used to. She gradually calmed down and we had a great 20 minute conversation.
Stand up as a man. Firm. Hold your ground. She.will not like it but she will respect you. Even better, you will respect yourself.
Good luck.

This is exactly what I’m saying. Do this…all the time.

[sonofthedestroyerParticipant 318]

Believe it or not i have the same headaches with women in my own family. They like to s~~~ test me until i lose my temper and shout at them. Then they are all sweetness and light for the next week or so until they wind me up again. I read somewhere that women do this on purpose to see if a man is weak and easy to dominate. What it does is strengthen my resolve not to get married. Because i wont tolerate such bulls~~~ from a wife.
As for being an introvert, dont worry i have always been one. So my sexual experience is also very limited. But that can be a good thing. The more you have sex the weaker you become mentally and physically. Take it from Mike Tyson who said after screwing over a thousand women ‘the more a man has sex, the more he loses a part of himself’
He literally flushed his boxing career down the drain because of his obsession with women.
As for your wife, i cant give you marital advice as i have never been married, but it sounds like you need to get rid off her without too much delay.

[Dirtydog73Participant 232]

Anonymous wrote:

You can be assured that if you leave her – you will get one way ticket to hell. An emotional hell. But it will also come with an end date. The hell expires after some point and you can start re-building/re-familiarizing yourself with the old you. Before you were trapped in the emotional mess. Introverted/religious men are more prone to being victims of sociopathic females.

This part is true.I am in this process now.
After 21 years of blue pill and working my arse off to try to get somewhere..she ended up cheating on me.I kicked her arse out ,packed her s~~~ up and threw that out asw well.The emotional hell is subsiding.The withdrawals are getting less.It has been about 3 months roughly.Time ,patience and finding myself is what is required.
As men we are physically strong.emotions can play havoc with your mind if you let them.Gotta keep on pushing thru and realise there will be an end date.

Fed, Fucked, Appreciated. The three simple things men want, but women will never grasp.

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

I’m not here to knock anyone’s religion but…. It seems to me that the modern take on Christianity is for men to be submissive to women and to take any crap. To regard our desire for sex as dirty. To regard women as the better sex. Why did Jesus pick a team of men I wonder? And let one man leave his wife to follow him?
Anyway I had to lose my faith in order to lose my faith in women. It was worth it

[CrusaderDerekParticipant 8]

Sparticus66 wrote:

I’m not here to knock anyone’s religion but…. It seems to me that the modern take on Christianity is for men to be submissive to women and to take any crap.

The liberal churches take is exactly that. Sometime ago I listened to a discussion where some conservative theologians were saying in marriage men and women are to submit themselves to each other. Then today I found an article/blog post on Patheos.com from some dude celebrating that he submits to his wife who is his equal. Utter garbage! Scripture clearly only commands the wife to submit to her husband. The apostle Paul also states that compared to men, women are the weaker vessel. Eve was fashioned from Adam’s rib, so woman came from men and must submit themselves to the men God has ordained to rule over them, whether that male headship be through a father, husband, or from a pastor if said women is part of the church.

Sparticus66 wrote:

Anyway I had to lose my faith in order to lose my faith in women. It was worth it

Each of us has come to a knowledge of this truth that something is wrong/distorted among the sexes within our society. Unfortunately, many Christian churches have been criminally responsible for teaching lies and heresies, liberalism has eroded the patriarchal foundation of male headship prescribed in the bible. As a Christian it’s a shame to see the damage being done to men in the name of God. But it doesn’t have to be so.

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