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RedPillDETOX 4 years, 10 months ago.
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Women are often really insulting, especially in private and online. Condescending, degrading, mocking, dismissing, trolling in general, patronizing, attacking your character, shaming, ad hominem… sometimes they even pretend to care or say something in a light heart when you know that they really want to hurt you or put you down. Bitchiness is also done by non verbal communication such as eye rolls, intentionally delaying something by pretending to be confused, making a certain expression, “the look”, looking or turning away when you’re talking to her etc.
1. I always get butthurt, how can I avoid this? I remain majorly butthurt for a few minutes, and minorly for a few hours.
2. Is turning it into a joke, becoming sweet and apologizing the best way to manipulate her to get her to stop and let her guard down?
3. Often this is done to make you comply with something or develop a certain mindset. How can I stop myself from getting manipulated?
4. What can I do to save my self esteem?
how to Bitch Regulate …. with Ronald Reagan
Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....
1. I always get butthurt, how can I avoid this? I remain majorly butthurt for a few minutes, and minorly for a few hours.
Stop caring what women say, think, or do. Most of her bitchiness is trying to get her self centered opinion to matter to you. Why should it matter at all? Ask yourself what does she actually do for you that you need bother giving a damn about anything from her. Chances are she doesn’t.
2. Is turning it into a joke, becoming sweet and apologizing the best way to manipulate her to get her to stop and let her guard down?
No. It will only encourage her to be worse in the future. I recommend interrupting her mid-bitch, asking her: “Do you have anything useful to contribute here? If not, then you’re done.” Then walk away. Don’t look back.
3. Often this is done to make you comply with something or develop a certain mindset. How can I stop myself from getting manipulated?
Constantly ask yourself what’s in it for you. For real. Vague promises and coquettish hints don’t count. I mean what actual, real world benefits are you definitely going to get from spending your time even listening to her versus what the potential liabilities are. If you can’t think of anything, see #2 above and walk away.
4. What can I do to save my self esteem?
See #1 above and stop giving a damn.
Women are often really insulting, especially in private and online. Condescending, degrading, mocking, dismissing, trolling in general, patronizing, attacking your character, shaming, ad hominem… sometimes they even pretend to care or say something in a light heart when you know that they really want to hurt you or put you down. Bitchiness is also done by non verbal communication such as eye rolls, intentionally delaying something by pretending to be confused, making a certain expression, “the look”, looking or turning away when you’re talking to her etc. 1. I always get butthurt, how can I avoid this? I remain majorly butthurt for a few minutes, and minorly for a few hours. 2. Is turning it into a joke, becoming sweet and apologizing the best way to manipulate her to get her to stop and let her guard down? 3. Often this is done to make you comply with something or develop a certain mindset. How can I stop myself from getting manipulated? 4. What can I do to save my self esteem?
29304 do I ever feel your pain! The great things about men’s forums such as this one is that men like us learn we are not alone from the female abuse! It’s a regular occurrence! I too am a victim of the female abuse system! The indifference of who I am, and false accusations of laziness is numbing! In addition to my own abuse from women, I have seen countless men go through their own form of torture. It seems you just can’t win. What I have learned from other men is we have to feel good about who and what we are WITHOUT THE NEED OF FEMALE APPROVAL. I wish you the best. Thanks or your great post. It’s nice to know someone else is going through the same BS I am.
381. I always get butthurt, how can I avoid this? I remain majorly butthurt for a few minutes, and minorly for a few hours.
Stop caring what women say, think, or do. Most of her bitchiness is trying to get her self centered opinion to matter to you. Why should it matter at all? Ask yourself what does she actually do <em class=”d4pbbc-italic”>for you that you need bother giving a damn about anything from her. Chances are she doesn’t.
2. Is turning it into a joke, becoming sweet and apologizing the best way to manipulate her to get her to stop and let her guard down?
No. It will only encourage her to be worse in the future. I recommend interrupting her mid-bitch, asking her: “Do you have anything useful to contribute here? If not, then you’re done.” Then walk away. Don’t look back.
3. Often this is done to make you comply with something or develop a certain mindset. How can I stop myself from getting manipulated?
Constantly ask yourself what’s in it for you. For real. Vague promises and coquettish hints don’t count. I mean what actual, real world benefits are you definitely going to get from spending your time even listening to her versus what the potential liabilities are. If you can’t think of anything, see #2 above and walk away.
4. What can I do to save my self esteem?
See #1 above and stop giving a damn.
Thank you for your reply! Yes, she doesn’t give a damn about me, which is why she’s causing me all that pain or trying to do so anyway.
I guess I’m not dominant and a bit submissive because I was trained by my mom to be “nice”. Now I can’t seem to win an argument in a world where the person who is most assertive and confident wins. I have always been told to save the emotions of others and be considerate….. thus I allow people to walk all over me. And women do this a lot verbally, I don’t know what is it about them. They’re kinda sick.
But I have seen that many guys (I guess the alpha males) do not get butthurt and can handle bitch behavior very well. It’s probably because they are apex predators/the fittest and thus are always made out to be the bad guys by women, but in reality they just have an excellent way to live in this world. I just need to be more dominant, assertive and confident.
Any tips?
29304 do I ever feel your pain! The great things about men’s forums such as this one is that men like us learn we are not alone from the female abuse! It’s a regular occurrence! I too am a victim of the female abuse system! The indifference of who I am, and false accusations of laziness is numbing! In addition to my own abuse from women, I have seen countless men go through their own form of torture. It seems you just can’t win. What I have learned from other men is we have to feel good about who and what we are WITHOUT THE NEED OF FEMALE APPROVAL. I wish you the best. Thanks or your great post. It’s nice to know someone else is going through the same BS I am.
38Do we call each other by our numbers on this forum? That’s very strange. I have seen many men handle bitch behavior very well, it’s not that we can’t win. It’s just that we have to learn how to cope with it, how to counter it and how to beat them. Masculine men and men in second/third world countries seem to be excellent at it. It’s just us who were raised to be nice and are now paying for it.
Thank you for your reply! Yes, she doesn’t give a damn about me, which is why she’s causing me all that pain or trying to do so anyway.
So stop giving a damn about her. You will probably notice that as soon as you stop caring about her, she will start caring about you. But continue not giving a damn regardless.
I guess I’m not dominant and a bit submissive because I was trained by my mom to be “nice”.
It’s not a matter of being dominant or submissive. It’s about not wasting any more concern or time on things that were never worth caring about in the first place. It’s about you controlling your own life, not about controlling hers (being dominant), and it sure as f~~~ isn’t about letting her control your life (being submissive).
Also there’s a huge difference between being “nice” and being a doormat. It’s entirely possibly (and entertaining) to nicely and politely tell a woman to go f~~~ herself.
Now I can’t seem to win an argument in a world where the person who is most assertive and confident wins.
You can’t “win” an argument with a woman because women don’t really argue. Arguments involve the conflict of differing positions based on facts and reason. Do you think she even knows what those words mean? Her goal is never to arrive at some truth, but to get you to do for her what she wants you to do. And she won’t stop until she gets that so long as you continue to engage her. Don’t fall for it.
The way to win an “argument” with a woman is by walking away.
I have always been told to save the emotions of others and be considerate….. thus I allow people to walk all over me.
People should be responsible for their own emotions. How they “feel” is not your problem. If they can’t control their own emotions, well then they aren’t very mature, are they? And immature people are not worth your time.
And women do this a lot verbally, I don’t know what is it about them. They’re kinda sick.
They do it because it gets them what they want. That’s the only reason. So stop giving them what they want and they will stop doing it.
But I have seen that many guys (I guess the alpha males) do not get butthurt and can handle bitch behavior very well. It’s probably because they are apex predators/the fittest and thus are always made out to be the bad guys by women, but in reality they just have an excellent way to live in this world. I just need to be more dominant, assertive and confident. Any tips?
It’s actually because they understand that putting up with female bitchiness is never worth it, and so they simply don’t care. Oh, and they are called “bad boys” by women because women aren’t getting what they want out of them. Because to a woman’s thinking, not giving a woman whatever she wants is “bad”, but notice how women are also attracted to “bad boys” at the same time. Go figure.
Thank you for your reply! Yes, she doesn’t give a damn about me, which is why she’s causing me all that pain or trying to do so anyway.
So stop giving a damn about her. You will probably notice that as soon as you stop caring about her, she will start caring about you. But continue not giving a damn regardless.
I guess I’m not dominant and a bit submissive because I was trained by my mom to be “nice”.
It’s not a matter of being dominant or submissive. It’s about not wasting any more concern or time on things that were never worth caring about in the first place. It’s about you controlling your own life, not about controlling hers (being dominant), and it sure as f~~~ isn’t about letting her control your life (being submissive). Also there’s a huge difference between being “nice” and being a doormat. It’s entirely possibly (and entertaining) to nicely and politely tell a woman to go f~~~ herself.
Now I can’t seem to win an argument in a world where the person who is most assertive and confident wins.
You can’t “win” an argument with a woman because women don’t really argue. Arguments involve the conflict of differing positions based on facts and reason. Do you think she even knows what those words mean? Her goal is never to arrive at some truth, but to get you to do for her what she wants you to do. And she won’t stop until she gets that so long as you continue to engage her. Don’t fall for it. The way to win an “argument” with a woman is by walking away.
I have always been told to save the emotions of others and be considerate….. thus I allow people to walk all over me.
People should be responsible for their own emotions. How they “feel” is not your problem. If they can’t control their own emotions, well then they aren’t very mature, are they? And immature people are not worth your time.
And women do this a lot verbally, I don’t know what is it about them. They’re kinda sick.
They do it because it gets them what they want. That’s the only reason. So stop giving them what they want and they will stop doing it.
But I have seen that many guys (I guess the alpha males) do not get butthurt and can handle bitch behavior very well. It’s probably because they are apex predators/the fittest and thus are always made out to be the bad guys by women, but in reality they just have an excellent way to live in this world. I just need to be more dominant, assertive and confident. Any tips?
It’s actually because they understand that putting up with female bitchiness is never worth it, and so they simply don’t care. Oh, and they are called “bad boys” by women because women aren’t getting what they want out of them. Because to a woman’s thinking, not giving a woman whatever she wants is “bad”, but notice how women are also attracted to “bad boys” at the same time. Go figure.
Again, thanks for your detailed and informative response! Now that I think about it, I hardly give a damn about her or how she feels…. unless she feels pity of course!!! The main thing I want to do is to make her feel bad. Yes, I want to hurt her so that she knows what it feels like and stops. But how do I do that?
I think you’re very wrong about the dominant bit. There is a very real phenomenon of dominating a conversation, I’m sure you’ve noticed. All the behaviours you describe are of being dominant. Dominants are in control, submissives give up control.
As far as getting what they want is concerned, if causing anxiety is what they want, then they get it. I want to turn the tables! So bad… I’m itching!! I guess this is what causes me to be butthurt. That I can’t hurt her as much as she can hurt me. F~~~!
Is there any way I can verbally attack her or even non-verbally bully her? Just once, so that she doesn’t f~~~ with me again!
When being attacked always do the most unexpected thing. She’s bitching – casually start picking your nose/pull a comb out of your pocket and comb your hair/scratch your b~~~~/find something and start studying it as though its the most fascinating thing on the planet/use your phone to record her (because you have a friend who gets off on female abuse)/ogle a waitress/yawn etc.
Act bored. Soon enough it will become second nature and one day you’ll realise that you actually ARE bored and then you’re free.
The ‘unexpected behaviour’ I mentioned above is a little trick I learned to deal with toddlers’ tantrums when my children were little. It worked on them and it certainly works on adult-toddlers too.
Also don’t carry the bitchiness with you. Everytime you think about it or replay the argument you are letting her beat you up for free – again. Go bored and let it all just dissolve. If its not affecting you – she’s not winning....And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus
The main thing I want to do is to make her feel bad. Yes, I want to hurt her so that she knows what it feels like and stops. But how do I do that?
You don’t.
Wanting to hurt her only means you still want something from her. It shows she still has a hold on you. She’s still controlling your desires. Is that really where you want to be? Stop wanting ANYTHING from her, even her suffering.
I think you’re very wrong about the dominant bit. There is a very real phenomenon of dominating a conversation, I’m sure you’ve noticed.
Nope. It’s not about dominating anything. It’s about freedom. It’s not about controlling her or controlling a conversation. It’s about self control. Self determination. Is self control somehow domination, considering all you’re “dominating” is yourself? I don’t think so. The whole idea of “self domination” is ridiculous.
That you’re worried about “domination a conversation” with her means you are still bothering conversing with her at all. Why would you still be conversing with this bitch? Walk away.
I want to turn the tables! So bad… I’m itching!!
Why worry about “turning the table”? It’s not like there’s anything on the table for you at either end. She certainly hasn’t brought anything to that table. Don’t turn the table. Stand up and walk away from the table entirely. She can have the goddamn table for all the good it will do her.
Is there any way I can verbally attack her or even non-verbally bully her?
Not in any way that doesn’t validate her in some way. Attacking her lets her know that she still matters to you, and that means she still controls your life, not you. Why would you give her that?
Just once, so that she doesn’t f~~~ with me again!
She’s only f~~~ing with you now because you are letting her. Stop letting her. She can’t do a damn thing to you if you stop caring and walk away.
I understand you are frustrated, but you really need to let go of that. Your frustration is just her infecting your life and f~~~ing with your emotions. You need a bitchectomy. Cut that bitch out of your life and leave her behind.
Oh, and for what it’s worth, walking away from her, rejecting her with no f~~~s given, really is the worst thing you can do to her. Your frustration and rage, even if you go so far as causing her harm, still validates her. It shows her she is important to you. Walking away with indifference completely invalidates her. It shows her that she has no value whatsoever. Believe me, being valueless is the one thing women hate and fear above everything else.
Anonymous11walk away. Don’t look back.
Sidecar has spelled it out very,very well for you. The above and not giving a damn anymore are your two best friends. As for being trained to be “nice”, one should only be nice to those who deserve it in reciprocation for proper behavior shown towards you.
This woman is using you as her personal punching bag for whatever psycho rationale. Don’t bother trying to analyze why she does this, says that or how you can reason with her. She is a monster who is showing you no respect.
Steel yourself mentally and walk away from her permanently. Will it be easy? Hell no! It will solve problems 1,2,3 and 4 for you very well though. Stop allowing this to be done to you man. If she finds someone else to take her abuse, then who really cares as she will be his problem and not yours.
I think you know which direction you need to go, but you have to accept that you’re going to have to suffer some pain and just do it. Toss that woman overboard!
@Smitty: F~~~ing awesome bitch slap by The Gipper!!
Maybe we need to approach this from a different angle. Detox, are you in a relationship with her?
...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus
redpill,
As I read your post, I think of an analogy I’m going to try to make to you to illustrate your situation as I see it. And here is that analogy…You got on this boat expecting a pleasant trip. But it’s not turning out that way. The food is bad. The staff is rude and the service sucks. It’s noisy and smelly and hot and generally uncomfortable. The thing is barely seaworthy and you find yourself constantly bailing s~~~ from the bilge tanks in order to keep it afloat. It’s degrading. The engine is unreliable and you are frequently required to paddle with an oar to keep it going. There’s smoke everywhere and you have very little view beyond the railing of the boat. You don’t even know where you are. As a passenger arriving on this boat with money and brains and other resources, you know it shouldn’t be like this.
The captain is a particularly disrespectful ass and all the crew are nearly as bad. Any complaint you have goes nowhere and produces no change in this crappy cruise you are on. The crew will lie to you, insult you and steal from you. You begin to suspect they are actually pirates as they seem much more interested in robbing you than in transporting you anywhere you want to go.
Finally, you find a working radio and call out to whoever you can find for answers about what you should do. You explain this horrible situation to the first person who’ll listen and answer. A voice identifying himself as a (mgtow) coast guard answers and tells you that the problems on that boat are pretty common knowledge among the coast guard (having heard your complaints before) and cannot be changed. He confirms that the crew really are pirates, and that the boat is doomed and everyone in the coast guard knows it. He tells you to abandon that boat and swim away…
You hesitate. This is not the response you expected. You want to fix the conditions on this boat and stay on it, not abandon it. You want to learn how to win these arguments with the crew and not get butt hurt. You want the pleasure cruise you were promised. Your mother taught you to be a good deck hand and you want to be nice and somehow arrange that this crew will be nice back to you… so you can stay aboard…
You worry that since you are way out in the ocean, you don’t just want to leap blindly from the boat in all this smoke and fog. You tell all this to the coast guard, and the voice comes back and tells you to get your ass off the ship and don’t look back. You ask the coast guardsman on the radio to come out and get you and maybe do something with the crew of this boat. He tells you to again to abandon ship and start swimming…
What do you do?
Right now, you seem to be standing at the rail looking down into the water and out into the smoke and fog and you’re not sure if you want to jump or not.
About 30 years ago, I was in the exact same position, under the exact same circumstances, facing the exact same decision…only I didn’t have a radio or anyone to discuss it with. I hesitated for a very long time, and took insults from the crew of pirates for a very long time, but finally I jumped and started swimming.
I swam for a while and when the smoke cleared, I found that I wasn’t in an ocean. I was in a river. I could have jumped anytime during all those years I had hesitated. I felt like a dumbass for staying as long as I did. I swam toward the river bank. When I got there, I found all these coast guardsman sitting in lawn chairs on the bank, drinking beer, occasionally cracking jokes at those retarded pirates and their slowly sinking boat…and generally doing whatever the hell they wanted.
The conditions on the bank were 100 times better than on that boat. They told me there were other boats I could take if I wanted to, but the conditions were unlikely to be much better. They also told me that on shore, the conditions were as good or bad as I chose to make them, and that if I chose, I could walk comfortably and safely to anywhere I had hoped that boat would take me.
They smiled at me for staying on the boat for as long as I did. Then, they welcomed me onto shore, handed me a beer… and told me to go man the radio for them for a while…
So here I am… 30 years later… typing on this radio… telling you to get your ass off that boat and start swimming…
How’s the connection?
Can you hear me now???!!! 🙂
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
Ha! Epic post BrainPilot! Love your work. Marriage was the boat for me. I got to shore and I’m never getting on the boat again!
BP analogies and explanations of MGTOW response to situations don’t get any better than that one, outstanding!
The harder the fight the sweeter the victory
@brainpilot: That was downright poetical. It really should be archived somewhere for future use.
They told me there were other boats I could take if I wanted to, but the conditions were unlikely to be much better.
Also we have Jet Skis and Motorcycles.
You don’t.
Wanting to hurt her only means you still want something from her. It shows she still has a hold on you. She’s still controlling your desires. Is that really where you want to be? Stop wanting ANYTHING from her, even her suffering.When being attacked always do the most unexpected thing. She’s bitching – casually start picking your nose/pull a comb out of your pocket and comb your hair/scratch your b~~~~/find something and start studying it as though its the most fascinating thing on the planet/use your phone to record her (because you have a friend who gets off on female abuse)/ogle a waitress/yawn etc.
Act bored. Soon enough it will become second nature and one day you’ll realise that you actually ARE bored and then you’re free.
The ‘unexpected behaviour’ I mentioned above is a little trick I learned to deal with toddlers’ tantrums when my children were little. It worked on them and it certainly works on adult-toddlers too.
Also don’t carry the bitchiness with you. Everytime you think about it or replay the argument you are letting her beat you up for free – again. Go bored and let it all just dissolve. If its not affecting you – she’s not winning.BrainPilot’s entire pirate analogy.
I agree with all the above! (Emphasis mine.)
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
Superb advice from all corners imho…. you guys are on fire! haha.
What really stood out for me, was what @WarHar said. And I quote:
Everytime you think about it or replay the argument you are letting her beat you up for free – again.
This is very very true. And this is exactly what frustrates me. Why the hell am I getting beaten up and not being the one who beats up? Why does even thinking about her beat me up? I want to win, not lose! Not playing, as you guys have suggested would not be the equivalent of winning. It’s simply not participating. But for some strange reason I have the urge to participate and WIN. I can’t live with the fact that I’m always losing at this game. It drives me nuts!
Then again I admit that this is stupid. As @brainpilot said, it is like being on a doomed ship with pirates. There’s no other outcome and it’s not even really a game. However I want to be the video game superhero who defeats the pirates and saves the ship from it’s doom by taking charge! You know? It’s f~~~ed up, but this is how I feel. I should stop playing video games! haha.
@sidecar I have also learnt very important lessons from you. Thanks a lot! I will try and put them into practice to the best of my ability. I want to tell you something about myself. I am subconsciously desperate for attention and praise like women. Probably because I was raised to be a mangina by my mother. This neediness is why I want something to do with her. Even if I consciously want to get away, hate her or remove my attention I can’t because of this subconscious need. In fact, I just realized this about myself as I was typing this reply.
I am really happy to read your last paragraph and it is really deep. Even if I “win” and degrade her to the extreme I will still “lose” because I have validated her. I have shown her that she is important to me, as you said. But I was raised this way by Mom, to always give importance to other people, to always be considerate, to always walk on eggshells lest I say something offensive to women especially. God forbid I should hurt their feeling or be male (which usually hurts their feelings) according to my mom anyways. I always have to be sensitive.
This is probably the reason I constantly get owned by bitches. Thanks again everyone!
@brainpilot – Thank you, that was epic. You have described the situation perfectly. There are some very impressive minds in this forum.
I hope Detox can take off the blindfold and actually take the analogy to heart. There is truth in it, and his freedom is within reach.
BVC
Swallow this RED PILL ===> Men will lay down their lives for their brothers, their women and their children. This makes Men useful as slaves. Women will lay down their lives for ONLY their children. To expect more from women is just a FANTASY created by society and reinforced by the unconditional love that we experienced from our Mothers. The key to freedom is the understanding that the woman you meet is not going to fantastically love you like your Mother did. If you buy into the fantasy, then she is your new master. If you do not buy into the fantasy, then she is nothing, and you retain your freedom.
RPD,
Wanna know what the best part of banging your head into a wall is? It feels so great when you stop. You want reality to be what you basically expect, it’s not. You want the woman you care about you the way you care ab out her, that’s not going to happen, deal with it. You need to accept that you’ve been lied to most of your life about women and their nature. Here is some free advice, it applies not only in how you relate to women, but life in general. “Act boldly and mighty forces will come to your aid” Goethe said that. You shrink form confrontation until it is forced on you and then you want to know how deal with it when it’s too late.
Life is conflict and confrontation, and rarely is it even close to anything else. I’d advise you find a good copy of Sun Tzu’s ‘Art of War’, and read it. Essentially in all encounters/conflicts with women you are in peril because you know neither you adversary or yourself. Here in this place is where you are taught about female nature. Through practice and honest reflection you should discover your place in the world, and how you fit into it.
You are young yet, and now have access to something of infinite value, understanding. You are fully capable of being a Bitch Regulator the choice is yours. Or you can continue to knuckle under to women and hope they show you mercy.
Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....
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