Beware

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

TLDR: just scroll down to the last paragraph.

I haven’t posted in a while here, although I am reading the forum from time to time. But I discovered something today that p~~~ed me off, so I thought I should share this with fellow members. Primarily to vent off, but this might be also useful for people who consider dating. Any extra little bit of experience helps.

I’ve been working on a specific project at work for a few years. Things are pretty open here so a lot of info is available on the company website with our names, project descriptions, list of members for each project, emails etc. This hasn’t bothered me except for the heavy email spam I’m getting.

My boss has recently suggested that we should promote our project on a third party platform. It’s basically a public website, with a forum and other features, widely used in our field of work to share info, documentation and comments. Anyone can register there.

So today I tried to make an account, and I noticed that the user name that matches my full name is taken. I clicked the account and it is completely empty: no posts, no content. However the creation date is listed. The account was created two years ago, on the birthday of an ex-girlfriend I haven’t heard from for 10 years.

This is a woman I dated for only a few months a decade ago. The usual story: at first things were great, I really thought I met a very nice girl, everybody thought she was very nice; I treated her really well and she seemed great at first, but when things started to settle she slowly morphed into something I can only call unstable-narcissistic-manipulative-bratty-slightly-hysteric-monster. I’m sure psychologists have a name for this behavior in some personality disorder encyclopedia somewhere.

Anyways, I couldn’t stand her s~~~ anymore so I dumped her. That was tricky since I expected she would make a scene in public; or in private, would probably become hysterical and possibly dangerous. Thus I was really worried of doing it in person. I thought about asking a friend to come with me, but didn’t want to embarrass myself or him. So instead I went on vacation, and on the first day I dumped her over the phone (indeed she was furious) and turned my phone and email off for a month.

I thought my family would scorn me for this, but their faces really lit up when they found out. Apparently they didn’t like her but decided not to interfere. I think they expected the relations~~~ not to last.

When I got back, I found a ton of messages in my inbox. Haven’t read most of them, but she seemed miserable so I agreed to meet her. I talked to her for a few minutes. It was a friendly conversation, during which we actually agreed that we didn’t get along well, still she said she loves me and we should try again. I said no, it won’t work and we shouldn’t talk again.

But every month or so I would get an email, which ranged from how she still wants me, to dissecting some of my old mails/texts looking for signs that I was unfaithful (which never happened). I never replied, and added a mail filter to block her e-mail address.

After a while I got a couple of emails from her roommate, one having a photo with with those horrible kissing-the-air selfies… I don’t know how they’re called and don’t really care. She said she became single and wanted to hook up. Didn’t reply, blocked her email address too.

For a couple of years I still got Christmas/New Year texts from her. I only remember that the messages were a bit awkward and not truly nice. I never replied, but after a few hours I would get another anonymous text with curses.

But then she finally stopped. And for a decade I haven’t heard from her. Until I had to do this task for work and found this fake account in my name. At least she didn’t post any s~~~ in my name.

Something else that’s interesting. I moved to a different country a few years ago, for work. (I live in Europe so this is quite common). Looking her up on Google, I found out she moved here too, although to a different city, thank goodness. Still, I find this a bit suspicious. Hopefully she won’t do anything more than such minor annoyances.

Normally I stay away from social networks and other crap like that, because of the gossip and drama. Friends can contact me directly. And I suppose this generally also helps keeping crazy exes away. But this damn workplace is posting everything we work on in public. I can only hope I won’t have any problems.

TLDR
Moral of the story: beware women. A lot of them are crazy. They hide it well, possibly by instinct, and often appear as little angles at first. I won’t say ALL women are like that as I think that is statistically unlikely. But ENOUGH of them that it is very risky to get into a relationship. Unfortunately many of us grow up watching Disney cartoons and other crap that glorify love. Instead we should probably be shown something like zoo warning signs.

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[experiencedParticipant]

Thank you for the post.
It’s like you just can’t expect normal behavior from any of them; it’s only a matter of time.
I try to distance myself from them and not think too much about their latest antics, but your post wisely points out that this could be totally inadequate.
They all pull some sort of crap like this and then scratch their collective heads when guys catch on.
They don’t acknowledge that they’ve poisoned the well themselves.
It’s nothing personal laydeez, guys choose to use their brains and learn from life.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[chirParticipant]

Actually this IS normal behavior for a woman.

He dumped her. Women believe they are the ones in control of all social relationships. A man dumping her is the worst thing that could happen in their hamster minds.

Often they will want to get back together JUST SO THEY CAN SUBSEQUENTLY TURN AROUND AND DUMP THE GUY. This is a social control issue. Women must always win or have last word.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[EinherjarParticipant 608]

Much gratitude for sharing your story mate, there is much to learn from your experiences. I think this serves as a good example that women cannot handle breakups, at least when they themselves are the ones being dumped.

There is only so much a man can do to distance himself from his ex(es)… if the woman do not like it, she will do whatever it takes to re-establish contact. Even if the contact is unwanted by the man. As I see it, the usual reason for her trying to establish contact is so that she can break up with you instead. Women in general cannot stand any form of rejection, it is probably the worst thing she can experience. It is better if she is the one who does the rejecting, only then can she truly move on in life.

Your story has certainly given me a few reasons to ponder regarding this area, I thank you for that. Best of luck to you, hopefully by this time, your ex has finally seen fit to leave you alone.

Cheers!

chir wrote:

He dumped her. Women believe they are the ones in control of all social relationships. A man dumping her is the worst thing that could happen in their hamster minds.

Often they will want to get back together JUST SO THEY CAN SUBSEQUENTLY TURN AROUND AND DUMP THE GUY. This is a social control issue. Women must always win or have last word.

Seems you beat me to it:)

The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal - Aristotle (384 - 322 BC)

[narwhalParticipant]

I find the roommate asking for a hookup to be pretty funny. A good chance that was a setup (and there is nothing wrong with lying like that). If you took the bait, that was proof that you were surely a cheater (using female logic). Because, you know, sleeping with someone when you are not together is no different then sleeping with someone when you are together (we all know this). This would then negate you’re breaking up with her because had she known you were a cheater, she would have broken up with you (obviously!). Of course, she would take you back in a heartbeat because she’s also a forgiving and understanding person (in her fantasy view of herself). And all this would also prove that you really wanted her all along, but were too scared to come clean as a cheater!

Ok. Then do it.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

xlrsnbrg wrote:

I won’t say ALL women are like that

I will.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

Solo MAN’S Wisdom wrote:

xlrsnbrg wrote:

I won’t say ALL women are like that

I will.

That’s something I will never say (but also not contradict anyone who says it) because I haven’t checked every last one of them. I would agree with “almost all” or “practically all” based on my personal experience, but I suppose it doesn’t sound catchy. Anyways, I didn’t intend to start a debate on semantics.

narwhal wrote:

I find the roommate asking for a hookup to be pretty funny.

At the time I found it funny too, although idiotic. I would never sleep with an ex’s roommate or even friend because that’s a horrible thing to do. Yet these girls thought I might do it; probably because they are horrible people and expect everyone else to be like them.

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[Mr. ManParticipant 2916]

Your story reminds me of the often used analogy comparing women to a bag of hand grenades, where you don’t know which is the bad one that will explode in your hand.

But I think a more fitting analogy is this: All hand grenades will go off in your hand if you hold them long enough.

All women are hand grenades, each one with a different fuse length.

[Author]

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