Being "grilled" with questions when you need a sympathetic ear

[EGParticipant 1851]

Ever have a situation where you really desperately need to talk to someone close to you about a problem, and instead of offering you a sympathetic ear they put you on the defensive with grilling questions? How do you respond? I’m asking as much for advice as to get a discussion started.

[HermitParticipant]

I’ve just about given up trying to talk to anyone, especially about problems. It usually just pis ses me off. The older I get, the more I hate even being around people. The hell with talking to them. Even friends are more and more getting on my nerves.

Life is best when I’m home alone. I talk to God about my problems.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Hermit wrote:

I’ve just about given up trying to talk to anyone, especially about problems. It usually just pis ses me off. The older I get, the more I hate even being around people. The hell with talking to them. Even friends are more and more getting on my nerves.
Life is best when I’m home alone. I talk to God about my problems.

This… Except i dont talk to god, i talk to carnage, everyone should have one.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[Freedom Not SlaveryParticipant 508]

If they can’t just shut the f~~~ up and listen just stop talking and walk away, no one should be grilling you with questions like that.

[AwakenedParticipant 35200]

EG wrote:

Ever have a situation where you really desperately need to talk to someone close to you about a problem, and instead of offering you a sympathetic ear they put you on the defensive with grilling questions?

ANYONE that attempts to grill me about ANYTHING will make my F~~~ Off and Avoid list…..It’s funny how many supposedly ‘close” people in my life have made that list, and I’m guessin more will probably be added before I stop breathin…LOL LOL

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[EndParticipant 262]

EG wrote:

Ever have a situation where you really desperately need to talk to someone close to you about a problem, and instead of offering you a sympathetic ear they put you on the defensive with grilling questions? How do you respond? I’m asking as much for advice as to get a discussion started.

That situation honestly has never happened to me in 47 years. Simply because I realize that as a man there will NEVER be anyone to help you. Women never would as they’re hardwired to usurp the resources of the male and would never do for you at any fundamental level. And no man would either as they’re busy with their own problems. Unless your paying them to listen which mitigates the point in my opinion. If you accept the necessity of self sufficiency as a man you’ll find a much more enjoyable life. Just make sure to give yourself enough down time to be able to solve the challenges at hand and you wont need a sympathetic ear. You’ll also reap the inner satisfaction of solving lifes challenges on your own without any commentary from others. In my opinion that’s very rewarding.

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3753]

End wrote:

That situation honestly has never happened to me in 47 years. Simply because I realize that as a man there will NEVER be anyone to help you. Women never would as they’re hardwired to usurp the resources of the male and would never do for you at any fundamental level. And no man would either as they’re busy with their own problems. Unless your paying them to listen which mitigates the point in my opinion. If you accept the necessity of self sufficiency as a man you’ll find a much more enjoyable life. Just make sure to give yourself enough down time to be able to solve the challenges at hand and you wont need a sympathetic ear. You’ll also reap the inner satisfaction of solving lifes challenges on your own without any commentary from others. In my opinion that’s very rewarding.

Also this.

People usually cause all the problems that you’re trying to solve by talking about it to other people. Schadenfreude: lots of people are happy to see you’re feeling like s hit. They won’t help.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

Carnage wrote:

Hermit wrote:

I’ve just about given up trying to talk to anyone, especially about problems. It usually just pis ses me off. The older I get, the more I hate even being around people. The hell with talking to them. Even friends are more and more getting on my nerves.Life is best when I’m home alone. I talk to God about my problems.

This… Except i dont talk to god, i talk to carnage, everyone should have one.

You can talk to me, too.

I didn’t say that I’d give a fuk, though.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[narwhalParticipant]

A few points I’d say on this.

— Women are typically evaluating you as a mate, so the fact that your admitting a weakness to them really only factors in terms of how they can earn an orbiter.

— Men are built for fixing problems. They are generally ready to get to the heart of the issue in get it done, than go through the details of what your feeling. I think it takes practice and training for men to realize that the first step is to help them get the emotions out about that issue. I had this issue with my brother when I was going through divorce. He would not let me vent to him, but was quick to provide advice. His device was spot on, but I was not at all ready to hear that at the time. I ended up hanging up on him and not ever speaking to him about it again.

— A man’s first loyalty is usually to his wife, GF, or his own ability to please a woman. So his advice always has to be filtered through that. If sympathizing with you puts that in jeopardy, than he won’t do it. I actually had a ‘friend’ who repeated something I had said to him in confidence back to his wife. I was actually meeting with a couple guys specifically to talk about my divorce, and they all knew that was the point of it. So he told his wife, who told my then wife, and made my life all that much worse.

The only advice I would give is to preface any conversation you feel you need to have with “I need to vent, I’m not looking for advice right now”. If they can’t stick within those boundaries, then there is no point in talking to them about the issue.

Ok. Then do it.

[QuantumOfPeaceParticipant 114]

If they don’t listen then they won’t listen. There are definitely people that are great listeners however.
Sympathetic, out to help you, etc. I have found some in tightly knit organizations. I have found the phenomenon you are talking about amongst almost all women.
There is always the priest or chaplin, and the counselor. The best however is the dog. I love them and they never fail to offer me an ear.

Peace.

[Veritech AceParticipant 699]

It’s never been an issue. I deal with my problems myself, and have no need to talk to someone about them.

[EleventhEarlofMarParticipant 98]

It depends on the person. I have a sister who’s pretty good about listening. I have a couple people I know well enough to talk to without such a return as you described. Supportive people are out there. Sometimes they have to be found though.

[DanceMyOwnWayParticipant 2096]

Find a good male counsellor (therapist for you yanks)
Realise you’re your own best advisor
Cultivate make friends who are bachelor’s or cynical about marriage and not gay
Full your !ife with hobbies and interests you enjoy and help you to destress that have no women in them

If you fall down 7 times, get up 8

[EGParticipant 1851]

DanceMyOwnWay wrote:

Find a good male counsellor (therapist for you yanks)Realise you’re your own best advisorCultivate make friends who are bachelor’s or cynical about marriage and not gayFull your !ife with hobbies and interests you enjoy and help you to destress that have no women in them

Indeed, more and more I have been doing exactly this. Especially the part about hanging out with male friends who are not gay. Almost all my gay male friends are blue-pilled as fnck so it’s rather worthless getting any empathy from them. Thankfully most of my friends in general are straight anyway, so it’s been a matter of reconnecting with like-minded male friends I haven’t seen in a while, plus making new friends as I can. Sometimes I still get grilled though, so I’ve tried new tactics for when I’m being grilled by people: I confront them! I reply to a prying question with, “Why do you ask?” or more pointedly, “Are you trying to our me in the spot?” Basically the name of the game is to flip their script and become the question-asker instead if the answerer. In this way I take back control of the conversation and steer it away from my being on the hot seat. Since I created this post I’ve been actively working on this pet peeve and I’ve made progress, albeit slow and with only a moderate reduction in frustration level. But it’s progress.

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3753]

EG wrote:

Since I created this post I’ve been actively working on this pet peeve and I’ve made progress, albeit slow and with only a moderate reduction in frustration level. But it’s progress.

Nice. Good to hear, E.

Usually when I’m asked questions like this, I just answer. Then I realize I should’ve confronted them like you say instead of just providing them with information they can then use against me.

Gotta work on that too.

[Author]

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