Hello fellow MGTOWs! I’ve been lurking on here for a few weeks and decided to finally write a proper introduction. I can’t say I have a definitive red pill moment or epiphany but apparently I took it at some point and didn’t realize it until I noticed how tough it is to swallow. I’m still digesting it but I’m definitely appreciative of its affects so far. This place has been eye opening!
Some history: I’m 26 and my first (and only) real relationship started when I was 14 and that lasted until I was 20 years old (big mistake in retrospect). She left me and immediately start dating a “friend” of mine who I had introduced her to and they are now married. After we split I never tried to contact her again, she tried a couple times shortly after but I wanted nothing to do with her and it’s been six years since we’ve spoke and frankly I can’t even remember much about that relationship since I’ve repressed most of the memories for so long. I only know some bits about how her life started going because of a network of knowing people who know people who know people kind of thing. But I digress. I remained single and uninterested in girls for the next four years and had an absolute f~~~ing blast! Hanging out with my friends, getting drunk, playing music, enjoying all the hobbies I had given up for that harlot. Just plain old good times.
At 24 I started feeling lonely again and longed for that kind of female companionship I once had and I joined a couple dating sites and started interacting with the womens out in public. After a few dead end conversations and bad first dates I finally met a girl that seemed to be in to me (seemed being the key word) as I was in to her. I spent almost two years in this s~~~ty on again off again “relationship” with this girl. There were SO many things wrong with this situation that I can’t begin to describe all my problems with it. Basically, I white knighted the s~~~ out of here (another regret of mine, but sometimes you learn the hard way) because society and family told me that’s the kind of man I should be and I truly believed in that at the time. I fell in love with her HARD. She knew that and kept herself invested and around just enough to be the proverbial carrot on a stick and keep me from letting her go. And the few times I did tell her I’m done, I don’t want to do this anymore, she ended crawling back to me after a couple weeks. I was so miserable and depressed from not having any of my affection, interest and attention being reciprocated that I developed a bad drinking problem, at one point I was drunk every single day for three months straight. I saw someone on here describe the type of relationship that this was. It was high investment with little to no return and often times a negative return.
Okay, so that got much more in depth than I intended. If you’ve read this far I appreciate it and if not I totally understand. I definitely feel some shame for that second “relationship” but I was getting a lot of sex and got her to do things she said she’d never do. And I feel a little bit like a whiny bitch as my past experiences and problems weren’t nearly as destructive and detrimental as some of the users on here and elsewhere in the world. I got off easy compared to a lot of men out there. I’m glad to have found this place and look forward to contributing to other threads and soaking up wisdom and insight from my fellow MGTOWs.
mackiavelic 4 years, 10 months ago.
