Bad Situation

[Ronin11Participant 208]

Well Guys here is yet another s~~~ sandwich men must eat when dealing with women. Let me set the stage. My friend Wally is 72 years old. His girlfriend Lisa is 62. They have been dating for 9 years. About 8 years ago Lisa broke up with Wally because he told her in no uncertain terms he would never marry again. She stayed away for about a year then decided to come back. She can be quoted as saying life is better with Wally than without. Not surprising since majority of the time when they go out Wally pays and has done so for the 9 years they have been dating.. Wally bragged to me that Lisa is a hotty, and he is lucky to have landed such a babe. She’s okay I suppose but hey you don’t make fun of a man’s woman.

So thing have been going along for 9 years with them both living separately. About 2 years ago Lisa was fired from her job. Apparently she is having bouts of forgetfulness that is perhaps the start of dementia or Parkinson’s. When she would have him over for dinner she would forget to cook a side dish, or forget to turn the stove off. It is known that Lisa lost her job due to this forgetfulness. Since Lisa lost her high paying job she cannot afford the house she lives in any longer. So Wally has told her to get into a house or rent some place she can afford. She on the other hand wants to move into his house. After all they have been dating 9 years right? He is in a huge quandary. He knows that to turn Lisa away now would make him look like an uncaring brute. Yet he also knows living with her would be a disaster. He is aware of several of her personality quirks that he simply cannot tolerate. Plus if her forgetfulness, in all likelihood, does turn into Parkinson’s he would be stuck taking care of her full time.

He is living the definition of between a rock and a hard place. What’s the mgtow thing to do? So what is my friend to do tell Lisa to move in, or punt her?

There are no good women only degrees of bad.

[Chaff/FlareParticipant 3235]

She is prob faking, and banking on him kicking the bucket

When you find yourself in the majority, it's time to reflect.

[Lone Wolf83Participant 825]

Punt the c~~~

If it has tits or tires, you know you're going to have problems.

[,Participant 1301]

its fourth down, goal to go at the 50 yard line, 19 seconds remain in the game, snowing, 30mph cross wind, and your team is up by Eight, they have no time outs.

HINT: don’t try a double REVERSE, punt that cungetful fort.

with joy/without hate

[AutoliteParticipant]

Why are you even worried about this? At 72 years of age, the guy should have enough experience and knowledge to make up his own mind and accept responsibility for whatever decision he makes…

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

Maybe experience has turned me into a cold hearted bastard but I agree with the others, he should punt that c~~~.

During my divorce I read in cases of job loss or life threatening illness; severe situations, if one person leaves the relationship; it is the woman 92% of the time.

[BeerParticipant 11832]

I’d leave her. Sounds like she was just a f~~~ buddy if he never moved in with her anything after all that time. He has no obligation to take care of her in her old age…especially since she probably wouldn’t do the same for him.

I’d take care of a woman with every ounce of my being if I was 72 and she had been a loyal wife for the last 50 years…but meh…considering how women are today I wouldn’t give them a straw hat in a blizzard.

[BoarParticipant]

There is no good way out of this for your friend. At 72, he should have enough experience to know that this is a trap. And if he starts caring for her now, will he be held as a common-law spouse and have to pay for her medical bills?

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[GrumpyParticipant]

Situations like this just prove to me that regardless of the age or generation when it comes to “relationships”.
Its still the same bulls~~~ game being played. Isn’t it time to walk away from the table?

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[Old RottweilerParticipant 1520]

It’s a trap. She would dump him in a hot minute if the roles were reversed. She would not have stayed if she had to go dutch and not have all the free meals. The next things she will forget is how to use the washer, how to clean, how to cook and he will be her slave. Then there are the existing personality quirks that he can not stand. I just dumped one, she had too many quirks that would have driven me crazy.

I agree, if they had been loyal man and wife for 40 years it would be until death do us part. The women made their bed by not being loyal, here are the consequences.

Dump her.

[Anonymous 43]

[narwhalParticipant]

Boar wrote:

There is no good way out of this for your friend. At 72, he should have enough experience to know that this is a trap. And if he starts caring for her now, will he be held as a common-law spouse and have to pay for her medical bills?

This is the reality of the situation. It’s not about love, it’s purely financial. If she moves in with him, he just took on a huge financial burden. She most likely does not have any retirement savings and is unprepared to live off social security checks. He did not plan on marrying and most likely cannot live the life he planned to live with a dependent to support. And the potential for medical bills destroying his life is tremendous.

It actually extremely selfish of her to expect him to take on such a tremendous financial burden. It’s downright cruel, given the current laws. If she actually loved him, then she would be doing everything she could not to put such a huge risk on his life.

Can you imagine if the situation was reversed? Say a 70 year old man with no retirement funds and risk of expensive medical treatment ask a financial stable woman to take him in. She would probably laugh at him. No one would accuse her of being selfish, they would say she’s a strong independent woman.

Medical expenses for the elderly can be killers. My father had Parkinson’s and ended up divorcing my mother about a year before he passed away. It was not his intention, but it was probably the best thing he could have done for his ex-wife. She was liable for none of his expenses. The nursing home kept coming after her as well as me and my siblings for the bill, but we had no legal obligation to pay a dime.

I also have a friend in his late 50s who got married a couple years ago. Soon after, he was surprised to realize that she had no plans to contribute to the house and utility payments. She had no retirement money saved, and he would have to work another 5 years at least to compensate…since they were now one financial entity.

How does a woman, or any really, makeup for 5 years of labor for a man in his 60s? Seriously, what could she possible do for him that makes it all worth it?

Ok. Then do it.

[TrapperParticipant 2912]

What would the government like him to do?

Do the opposite

[Anonymous 9]

Autolite wrote:

Why are you even worried about this? At 72 years of age, the guy should have enough experience and knowledge to make up his own mind and accept responsibility for whatever decision he makes…

That’s it.

I’m 33 and don’t give a f~~~ about pleasing a woman. Let alone staying with one.

So I can’t imagine being 72 with this kind of dilemma.

[GoneGaltParticipant 361]

He knows that to turn Lisa away now would make him look like an uncaring brute.

So what? To whom?

She’s 10 years younger than he is and is likely to outlive him, which means if he lets her move in she’ll never leave and his end years will be spent supporting her monetarily and by working around the house, and he will end up hating her very fast, since you said he said it would be a disaster for her to live with him.

So he’s balancing sacrificing the entire rest of his life’s happiness because he ‘feels’ some sort of obligation to destroy his life for her? Isn’t she as responsible as he is for providing for her own financial security? Then how come she stayed in an expensive home that was dependent on her keeping a high-paying job, and how come it’s HIS responsibility now to save her from her own lack of planning?

NO. HELL NO. F~~~ NO. This is a perfect example of men valuing their lives as less than those of women. Your friend will be a moron if he lets her in. She made her choice to see him without him committing to marriage – he did so because he didn’t want to marry her when she was okay financially and in good health – so why the f~~~ should he allow her in when she’s a wreck financially and in declining health? Because he’s a f~~~ing white knight?

Simple question: is the destruction of his life that will occur if he lets her in (because he’ll never her out again) vs. someone thinking he’s a ‘brute’ for a while even close to making sense? He needs to adopt an IDGAF attitude and fast, otherwise he’ll end up hating not only her but himself for having been such a weak man.

[Ronin11Participant 208]

Why are you even worried about this? At 72 years of age, the guy should have enough experience and knowledge to make up his own mind and accept responsibility for whatever decision he makes…

I agree punting the the girl is best. However knowing my friend I’m betting he will let her move in. Then he will be 0 for 3 when it comes to marriage/relations~~~s.

My point in posting was young or old men get the short end of the stick.

There are no good women only degrees of bad.

[nick123Participant 137]

narwhal wrote:

Boar wrote:

There is no good way out of this for your friend. At 72, he should have enough experience to know that this is a trap. And if he starts caring for her now, will he be held as a common-law spouse and have to pay for her medical bills?

This is the reality of the situation. It’s not about love, it’s purely financial. If she moves in with him, he just took on a huge financial burden. She most likely does not have any retirement savings and is unprepared to live off social security checks. He did not plan on marrying and most likely cannot live the life he planned to live with a dependent to support. And the potential for medical bills destroying his life is tremendous.

It actually extremely selfish of her to expect him to take on such a tremendous financial burden. It’s downright cruel, given the current laws. If she actually loved him, then she would be doing everything she could not to put such a huge risk on his life.

Can you imagine if the situation was reversed? Say a 70 year old man with no retirement funds and risk of expensive medical treatment ask a financial stable woman to take him in. She would probably laugh at him. No one would accuse her of being selfish, they would say she’s a strong independent woman.

Medical expenses for the elderly can be killers. My father had Parkinson’s and ended up divorcing my mother about a year before he passed away. It was not his intention, but it was probably the best thing he could have done for his ex-wife. She was liable for none of his expenses. The nursing home kept coming after her as well as me and my siblings for the bill, but we had no legal obligation to pay a dime.

I also have a friend in his late 50s who got married a couple years ago. Soon after, he was surprised to realize that she had no plans to contribute to the house and utility payments. She had no retirement money saved, and he would have to work another 5 years at least to compensate…since they were now one financial entity.

How does a woman, or any really, makeup for 5 years of labor for a man in his 60s? Seriously, what could she possible do for him that makes it all worth it?

I disagree you did have a moral and ethical obligation to do the right thing. Just because you had no legal obligation doesnt mean you did the right thing. We accuse modetn c~~~ women of being immoral etc but wtf did you do?

[Author]

Posts