Bad, Bad Poetry :-)

[EscapedMentalPatientParticipant 1489]

A little bit of p~~~ poorly written poetry in honour of Sir Keymaster’s stoic stand, courtesy of your resident mental case.

 

There once was a mangina we’ll call Freddy
With a promise of vag he got heady
He went to a site
and tried with all of his might
but alas she was f~~~ing someone already.

 

Horrible cadence and grammar.  But hey, f~~~ it.  “Freddy” or whoever the f~~~ they were, aren’t worthy of a real penning 😀

Thanks to Keymaster and the team for digging a deeper moat.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Oooh! So many ‘naughty’ limericks come flooding back to mind! Thanks … I like them better than multi-page odes to antique pottery.

There was a young man from Nantucket,
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His girlfriend, who was named Nan,
Ran off with another man.
As for the bucket, Nan tuck it.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[EscapedMentalPatientParticipant 1489]

RoyDal wrote:

As for the bucket, Nan tuck it.

hahahahaha

[KeymasterKeymaster]

@escapedmentalpatient

There once was a man from CAN-tucket,
Who’s dick was SO BIG…. he could suck it!
He said with a grin
As he wiped of his chin,
“If my ear were a C~~~, I COULD F~~~ IT!”

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[EscapedMentalPatientParticipant 1489]

Keymaster wrote:

“If my ear were a C~~~, I COULD F~~~ IT!”

BWAAAHAHAHAHA

[RoyDalParticipant]

There once was a man from Van Isle,
Who said jogging just wasn’t his style.
“I get my workouts, he said,
“At home in my bed,
“Because a Miss is as good as a mile!”

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[DaKayParticipant 68]

It`s usually a german poem but I tried to translate as good as possible 🙂

 

Poem of the dog

Man deep in the mature years,
If ya want to have a vag,
There are dangers you should fear,
Which you sure should closely check!
she might want to be ur wife,
so beware, don’t be a frog,
If ya want an awesome life,
better get yourself a dog!

Look, your dog is always yours,
Obeys, You´re master in his eyes,
A Woman? Well she just ignores,
Even if you tell her twice.
Indeed no dowry comes along,
but one thing you always know for sure:
A Dog will be a loyal companion
A woman will never be that pure

A dog is never crying tears,
he never needs an aspirin,
“I have migraine” you never hear
New clothes you never pay for him.
If you want to make a journey,
Calm down, not a prob at all
give him to your friend in nursing.
Try to do that with your gal!

If ya want to have some fun
Go out at night like in the old days,
you need to ask like she`s your mom
“Please, Please”, she just says “no way”.
Your dog stays home and he won`t beef,
he will just sit and wait for you,
Enjoy the night, just go and leave
With a wife home you could never do!

You walk along the road with her
Suddenly she stops on toe.
“Honey I need to go “somewhere”.
take my pocket, got to go. ”
Your dog is satisfied with trees,
because he takes liberties with it.
He simply lifts his leg and pees.
Try to ask that from your Miss!

And with the kids there comes the trouble.
Every year comes one new brat.
Efforts for sex you have to double
And she`s not even that good at
Your dog never needs that, its like heaven
and if it`s that some cubs you want,
The dog at once births 6 or 7.
Try to demand that from her c~~~!

That`s why, guys, I need to tell:
Let the hands of gals, okay?
Because in her late days you will yell
She will become ugly, old and gray!
If you are tired of your dog,
You can just give away or sell,
With an old woman this works not
Noone buys an bad aged belle!!

[EscapedMentalPatientParticipant 1489]

There once was a woman who worked….

Sorry, I couldn’t even finish hahahahahahahahaha……….I just couldn’ hahaHAhahaHAhahahahaha

I…….I….HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[OldscoundrellParticipant 412]

Bear with me, this was written on the fly just now, of my real story. Hope you guys enjoy.

I once was young, alone, and free
Keeping all my currency made from trees

Then came a mythical unicorn creature,
She f~~~ed me so good I keeped’ her

So after bearing my child or two.
She wanted a ring,so I followed through

I gave her everything I possibly could.
Why not? Everyone said that I should

Then the facade started to wear thin, her smile turned into an evil grin.

She threw me away like yesterdays paper, but why? I was the one that saved her.

As I won her back, to go another round. This time, it was my playground.

I did everything right, just for spite.
While I f~~~ed everyone else that came into my sight.

Of course I got caught, and now divorced.

The moral of this story? Is don’t f~~~ twice, a horn attached to a horse.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Oldscoundrell wrote:

Bear with me, this was written on the fly just now, of my real story. Hope you guys enjoy.

You wrote that on the fly just now? Dude that’s practically a Shakespearean sonnet!

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[OldscoundrellParticipant 412]

Keymaster wrote:

You wrote that on the fly just now? Dude that’s practically a Shakespearean sonnet!

Oh stop…I bet you say that to all the new members.

Lol. But ya, seen the title bad bad poetry. Sounded like fun. Thought it qualified.

[The ShrikeParticipant 147]

Ok, just made this up but thought I’d throw in:

Three months at sea i had been

So as soon as we hit the shore I looked down at my little head friend

He looked up at me and said “Ok damnit when!”

So we went to a show

Where I met the dumb Ho

My friend was so happy to get wet!

But I all I got was 18 years of debt!

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Oldscoundrell wrote:

Oh stop…I bet you say that to all the new members.

You guys! (lolz) the title is “BAD” poetry, buts it’s actually good! DaKay I loved that German one. Do you have the original in Deutsch?

I’m inspired to share another one: This one is called “MGTOW 101”.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
Each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with $2.50.
F~~~in’ whore.

Georgie Porgie puddin’ and pie,
Jerked off in his girlfriend’s eye.
While that eye was trying to shut….
Georgie f~~~ed that one-eyed slut.

Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard
To fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over,
Rover drove her,
‘Cuz Rover had a bone of his own.

And that’s called “bad poetry”. Damn this Black Russian is delicious. I think I will have a 4th….
I never drink. But should definitely do it more often.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[ShinyParticipant 2307]

With all due respects to Vietnam vets…

There once was a man from Vung Tau

Whose wife was a fat useless cow

So he said to the hag

As he packed up his bag

F~~~ you honey, I’m going MGTOW!

[The ShrikeParticipant 147]

OMG Shiny you have a gift!  You should be songwriter!

[DaKayParticipant 68]

Keymaster wrote:

DaKay I loved that German one. Do you have the original in Deutsch? 

It`s a little different because..ya know, whats rhyming in German doesnt rhyme in English so I had to change it…however, here you are, even if the most people will just understand s~~~ 😀

Gedicht vom Hund

Jüngling in den reifen Jahren,
willst du nehmen eine Frau,
denke stets an die Gefahren,
überleg es dir genau!
Hüte dich vor Liebesgaben,
hüte dich vor schwacher Stund,
willst du leben ohne Plage,
kauf dir lieber einen Hund!

So ein Hund gehört Dir immer,
weil er dich als Herrn erkennt,
bei einer Frau geschieht das nimmer,
denn Gehorsam ist ihr fremd.
Mitgift hat er freilich keine,
aber eins weißt Du genau:
So ein Hund wird immer treu sein.
Weißt du das bei Deiner Frau?

So ein Hund weint keine Tränen,
niemals braucht er Aspirin,
abends hat er nie Migräne
und braucht nie was anzuziehen.
Willst Du mal ne Reise machen,
kannst du ruhig den Wauwau
deinem Freund in Pflege geben.
Tu das mal mit deiner Frau!

Willst du wie in früheren Tagen
Abends auf nen Bummel gehen,
musst du erst dein Frauchen fragen:
„Bitte, Bitte“, musst du flehen.
Deinen Hund den kannst du schließen
ein in seinen Hundebau,
dann kannst du die Nacht genießen.
Versuch das mal mit deiner Frau!

Gehst Du mit ihr auf der Straße
Bleibt sie plötzlich stille stehen.
„Lieber Mann, mich drückt die Blase.
Halt die Tasche, ich muss gehen.“
Deinem Hund genügt ein Bäumchen,
denn er nimmt`s nicht so genau.
Er hebt einfach hoch das Beinchen.
Verlang das mal von deiner Frau!

Und mit den Kindern hast du Plage.
Jedes Jahr kommt eines an.
Trotzdem musst du ohne Frage
Jede Nacht von neuem ran.
Ohne dass du ihn brauchst lieben,
bringt dir Junge dein Wauwau,
gleich auf einmal 6 – 7.
Verlang das mal von deiner Frau!

Drum ihr Männer, lasst euch sagen:
Lasst die Hände von `ner Frau!
Denn in ihren späten Tagen
Wird sie hässlich, alt und grau!
Wird dein Hund dir mal zuwider,
dann verkaufst du den Wauwau,
und kaufst dir einen Neuen wieder.
Verkauf mal so ne alte Frau!!

[Silpheed1975Participant 355]

I once had a girl at my work

Who acted like some kind of jerk

She began to stalk me

And at a quarter to three

I told her to f~~~ off because I can’t stand crazy c~~~s.

Silpheed's Mom Quote: "Having PMS is no excuse to be a bitch.."

[EscapedMentalPatientParticipant 1489]

Great reads.  Some of you guys are too good to be on a Bad Poetry thread 😀

Well done.

[Author]

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