Well to add to it my highest education completed would be high school but I went to college three in fact never finished I just didn’t have the will or the patience to put my all into something that forced me to pay to learn extra crap that had nothing to do with my major which was film. After the third time I racked up some debt and swore never again to go back. I done jobs here and there not the best jobs but jobs that pay the bills nonetheless. I enjoy film, comics, games, biking, inline skating, gunpla (model building), and drawing. There’s more but it’ll be too much to list.
My current desire is to create my own film production studio. I’ve had a lot of trial an errors learning how to film myself. I’ve learned some pretty neat stuff in programs like final cut, after effects, cinema 4d. At the moment I’m improving my art to be able to draw better storyboards and also to fulfill one of my life goals in creating a comic book.
I’m pretty laid back so I tend to be pretty friendly with most people so long as they don’t do anything foolish that would make have animosity towards them. I’m pretty much a loner I wasn’t the most popular kid in school nor was I able to be trendy or whatever. Had some self esteem issues growing up plus being bullied and disliked didn’t help much. After I got out of college the first time I isolated myself and became a shut in. Some time afterwards after dealing with personal demons I decided to build myself up as what I wanted to be as a man. Didn’t happen right away baby steps.
Pretty much felt like I was worthless since I was still a virgin in my early twenties and never had a girl since I had blue pill mentality at the time. One day I started thinking if “I died today could I at least die knowing I accomplished a goal of significance to myself?” Since the answer to that was no I started to take things seriously. From that point my raison d’être was “Master yourself before you master the world”
Looking back that might have been my first red pill. Started doing martial arts started working harder on my video projects. Started taking art classes online. Built up my self esteem and confidence as a man or what my perspective of it is. Along with watching my father let his girlfriend now ex berate, emasculate, manipulate, and many other vile acts towards him I swore I would never let any woman have any sway on me or even think she could treat me like dirt.
So as I am now I see myself as a logical person so when I found some mgtow videos on youtube it was like an immense weight was lifted of of me. To clarify once I realized before I found out about mgtow that men had to do most of the spending and work to maintain a relationship with a women I never bothered trying. Plus observing others in relationship but primarily my father’s it was clear to me you had to give up your freedom to live how you please to be with a woman. Luckily since I sucked socially with females I was pretty dense when opportunities arose. Plus I didn’t want to fall in “Love” and have to lessen myself or change myself just to be with someone.
That being said I still had a blue pill mentality since I was secretly a romantic. Pretty much due to being single all my life so I was hoping I would find the “Right” woman for me and live the whole blue pill happily ever after fantasy. Also I liked every woman that showed me attention which wasn’t helping. Thankfully I rid myself of that thought process. Also I’m the only male out of my cousins with my grandfather’s last name so yeah “You got to have kids” But since I’m a proud loner who enjoys the freedom I had grown up with I was always having this inner conflict between what my heart wants and what my head wants. So when I finally found mgtow and since I mostly go by logic my inner conflict was settled.
With that being said the red pill is sweet but it comes at a price. I can’t look at woman the same way again and that involves family. I have to block out the thoughts of what I know when it comes to them. Since one of my jobs involve me working with woman I’m constantly annoyed. Plus my father raised me as a white knight so finding out that I had those qualities p~~~ed me off and remembering some white knight moments puts me in a bad mood. Thankfully though I’m an asshole so getting rid of those traits and treating woman like s~~~ is a breeze.
But with that new perspective I see a lot of the bulls~~~ I was fed growing up and in hindsight and very thankful to the c~~~s that thought I was a loser in school causing me to be a loner and pretty much oblivious to female cues. I see it now and internally I’m dreadful because I know a walking atom bomb wants me.
But as my intro states I’m awoken from madness and for the most part it’s great because my heart no longer wants that blue pill fantasy that leads to a slow death. I see all woman as what they are and I evade. If I see a woman that men give attention more than most I make sure she doesn’t get mine and if I can I treat her like s~~~. The only downside to that is I get the woman’s attention in return which is insane to me. But man after the stories I’ve heard and from what I seen added to what I know now once again I have a new lease on life.
But for the moment I have two jobs working on my personal projects when I get home. I”m trying to bulk up so I’m working on a exercise regiment. I get my daily dose of red pills watching or reading different mgtow content everyday. Bike or skate when I want. Get drunk or just sleep in when I want. Just living how I want without a thought of needing a woman to make my life whole.
MGTOW IS FREEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!
Antidepressants are going to be the new crack when the sexbots come.
Devilish Cin 2 years, 6 months ago.
