Avoiding your old haunts … to avoid seeing Her …

[hmskl’dParticipant 6408]

Have you ever found yourself going to a different grocery store or gas station to avoid seeing Her? … or accidentally seeing one of her close friends.   I know it might sound a little paranoid, but the thought of pushing a shopping cart down the grocery aisle and turning the corner with a chance meeting  – face to face – grocery cart to grocery cart in the frozen foods section – is something I don’t want to experience.  Even if it’s just one of her friends; it would result in the proverbial phone call beginning with … “guess who I bumped into today”.

[constraints_theoryParticipant 43]

personally i never let that stop me from going to the store or gas station. i mean why should i be forced to change my entire way of doing things just because i don’t wanna run into some people? f~~~ that… just because i run into people i don’t like doesn’t mean i am obligated to talk to them or even acknowledged their presence. stop giving them so much control over you to the point where you cant go buy food at the nearest grocery story because people are going to talk big deal let them that shouldn’t stop you from doing what you need to do to survive!

Good Luck!

I've killed worse than you on my way to real problems.

[– Deleted on Request –Spectator 936]

I’ve done that on occasion but, with time, that subsided.  I would go to, say, the grocery store at a different time or I’d look carefully where I’d be going in a shopping centre, making sure I’d be on the other side of the corridor.

 

Eventually, though, I’d simply go wherever and whenever I pleased.  If we crossed paths, I’d make sure to ignore her.

 

 

[mgtow_85Participant 752]

The last time I had a girlfriend that was serious enough for me to meet all her friends/family, I was living in a place that is now 60 miles away from my current location.

It’s impossible for me to run into any of THEM 7 years later when I’m in a different county that has like 1.2 million people living here. I guess I’m just lucky. And I didn’t really have any “old haunts” back when I was in that relationship except HER house…and mine. LOL.

[experiencedParticipant]

Dark Paladin’s right, “doesn’t mean I am obligated to talk to them or even acknowledge their presence”

Your options: A) Avoid old haunts. You’re tired, it’s the end of the day, you choose to not add to today’s challenges, etc. B) don’t acknowledge their presence. C) Smile, nod, continue on in silence. D) While time’s not a factor, write down (to discard) ten responses to what you can right now think of as their toughest question: this tunes up your skillset 10 reps slow now, done on a few occasions, and you’ll be coming up with at least one or two great responses when under a limited time to answer.

E.g.  “Gee SJUR, whhyyhee did you do Kimburly so wrong? Explain yourself! She wouldn’tuh ‘shot your dog’ unless you did her wrong!”    Answers 1-10 [[help me out here guys]] [[DO NOT break eye contact with her]] may include:   1Yeah, you’re right, I shouldn’t have painted my car bright red, that should’ve been spent on restaurants with her.    2 EFF you, you effing eff, it’s none on your business.  3WHen did you  talk to her last?[[who cares]] How’s she doin? [[less well than if she’d stuck with you]]What’s she been up to? [[you don’t care, but it’s a filler]]  4I’m kinda missin her, could you please tell her to kiss my ass? 5So what’ve you been up to? 6Hey how’s it goin?–if you can tell she’s about to “start in” (it’s like if a cat bites you, the last thing they expect you to do is shove that hand right through the back of their throat) 7 How’s Ted doing? …Ted’s her ex, and you’ve as much a right to this info as she does to be asking questions.  8Hey, it’s been GReat talking with you I gotta go. She says “to do what?” smile and continue down the aisle. 9What’s the minimum temperature  to cook this chicken so it’s safe?[[to hit you over the head with]] 10 How long do you and her “go back”? 11Do you know where the kitty litter is? 12why do you want to know?

E) anticipate questions, ask ’em first, follow up asking: how/why/when/where/who/what?  The one asking the questions controls the conversation.     If need be, yin and yang her via don’t let them go, feign true interest in asking one question after another, keep them answering if you tire, look at your watch, “crap, sorry, gotta go, take care.”    “you’re busy and have things to do,  oh you don’t, well I do.”

IMO if she’s got “many” close friends, this means you did the right thing. She should’ve been focusing on the friendship of her relationship with you.       This whole ‘gal pal’ mentality:             there’s no “pack” if you don’t give a s~~~ about what they say to each other.

 

   mm yummy

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

constraints_theory wrote:

stop giving them so much control over you

I agree, you’re going to “cross paths”, she may even be doing it on purpose to see your reaction, and to jerk your chain.

I struggled with the same situation, I forced myself to “not react”, and seem bored and uninterested, like I didn’t give a s~~~.

Eventually, I didn’t have to act, I really didn’t give a s~~~.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

I figure it’s their job to avoid meeting me. I’ll go and do what I want, and if one of them has a problem with that, well then she has a problem with that.

[Author]

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