Anyone have some insight?

[Clockwork PenguinParticipant 50]

Alright, to start, I didn’t really know where to put this. I actually considered the “Litter Box” because it’s so bass-ackwards that the good ol’ File 13 seems the most appropriate. Yet, I honestly couldn’t think of anyone else to turn to for advice.

To begin, let me set the stage by stating that I do maintain a girlfriend, and due to my service connected PTSD I maintain an exceptionally small friend group. Trust is a difficult thing for me. Also, another small but somehow relevant note is that I entered into my relationship this last Halloween.

I don’t keep many females in my social circle – don’t trust them, and have no reason too. I think there’s only two, honestly, and one of them is a buddy’s girlfriend/fiance of 14 years who’s “in” the social circle simply as a default (and because we don’t want our buddy to have to deal with bitching and moaning later).

Of my guy friends, similarly, I only really keep a couple male friends in close contact. Though I do consider a few more to be friends, I just don’t bother keeping in contact with them very often.

Stage setting done, here’s my actual situation.

Since I got with my girl, one of my two closest friends almost immediately ceased direct contact with me. Now, I don’t mean that as that he stopped speaking to me, but that the direct contact stopped save for face to face conversations (and one, single phone call). Instead, he chooses to speak to my girlfriend and occasionally asks her to relay messages to me, or asks her how I’m doing (red flag #1 for sure, right? But this isn’t what you think). Second buddy is a currently a college photo major. Buddy number two just contacted me a few days ago, around Thursday I believe, and pretty randomly asked about my/our sex life. After some back and forth’s and a whole lot of “What the f~~~?”‘s, it boils down to him wanting to do a photo shoot of my girl and I f~~~ing, “For a school project” of course. We both decline as politely possible, despite the both of us being extremely uncomfortable and very unnerved.

Then yesterday, buddy number one contacts my girlfriend via social media (Facebook), at 6AM, asking if she can talk to him on the phone. She declines, tells me, then shows me to verify that she’s not full of s~~~. Shortly after, buddy number one starts messaging her again with the following message (among others), “I’m drunk and looking for attention ;)”. My girlfriend didn’t even get past ‘I’m drunk’ before she flat out said “Nope”, out loud, and simply walked away from her computer informing me, “He’s drunk again and I’m not going to deal with it”. After the slew of additional messages finally slowed, I asked her to to check and see what he said, and asked to see myself. Her and I both perceived the ‘looking for attention’ coupled with the stupid ‘winky face’ emote as him looking for sexual ‘attention’.

Later that day, after I figured his hangover would be done, I contacted buddy number one, not mentioning the events from maybe twelve hours before, to which he happily responds stating “What’s up, brother? I was in RARE FORM last night!” to which I stated, “I’m know. You apparently thought it would be cute to hit on my girlfriend last night.”. He blows up, calling her a liar, obviously. When I state that I saw the messages myself, in real time, and felt the same way, he blows up even harder, calling us both liars and declaring that we’re both reading into things. I include that I’m actually rather p~~~ed, because in addition to all this, I feel alienated since he hasn’t contacted me since before Christmas. He responds with some half-c~~~ed lines about ‘friendship is a two way street’ and that he’s had ‘to much s~~~ going on in his life’ to contact me. When I call his bulls~~~, and ask how if he has so much s~~~ going on in his life that he can’t contact me, his friend, he somehow has just enough s~~~ going on in his life that he can easily contact my girlfriend at least once or twice a week. No direct response.

Now, my girl finds herself blocked on any mutual social media sites they share and removed from event groups that they shared. Couldn’t tell you what, if anything, has been done to me because…f~~~ social media. But, I can say that I now receive NO response from either buddy number one, or buddy number two. I’m pretty much fed up, but I can’t help but realize that those two are about the only people I keep in direct contact with anymore and I can’t be f~~~ed to try and find/make myself a new social circle (again). Decent people are just so hard to find these days, I don’t even bother.

Thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions? Because right now, the repeated forceful application of a ball-peen hammer to my own head is starting to feel like the least painful solution to my problem.

[OldBillParticipant]

First: GET OFF FACEBOOK. Facebook is free because you’re Zuckerberg’s product. He’s selling everything you do to Big Data so corporations and governments can more easily control you.

Second: Find new friends. The ones you have now are complete f~~~ing idiots. Remember, lay down with dogs and get up with fleas.

Third: Stop using PTSD as a goddamn excuse. I’m a combat vet, I had/have it, and I don’t let it define me. Whining that PTSD somehow keeps you from making friends or permanently effects your ability to trust is nothing but self-pitying horses~~~.

Finally: Take a good long look at your girlfriend. She’s the sole common thread in Idiot #1’s and Idiot #2’s odd requests and behavior. Or haven’t you noticed that yet? As a MGHOW, you shouldn’t be living with a woman or that involved in her life anyway.

Get your head and priorities straight. Simplify your life. Limit your interactions with women. Reclaim your personal sovereignty.

Good luck.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[IAmManParticipant 228]

Well since you asked for it..
I think guy #1 is all about your girl. Dude #2 wants to see your girl naked and expressed that to you. Both are not worth your time. Like at all. Even a second.
I understand being resistant to putting in the effort to find good (guy) friends, but I think it is necessary for almost everybody to feel connected to another person(guy again).
PTSD is no joke though, diagnosed with it myself, but using it as a reason to not try at all isn’t going to help you. Understand your current limitations and adapt to the situation.
I do believe you are worth the effort to find new and good (guy)friends. Don’t settle for some scum either. Insist on quality.

[Dr. SableParticipant 1064]

@ Clockwork Penguin

OldBill wrote:

First: GET OFF FACEBOOK. Facebook is free because you’re Zuckerberg’s product. He’s selling everything you do to Big Data so corporations and governments can more easily control you.

Second: Find new friends. The ones you have now are complete f~~~ing idiots. Remember, lay down with dogs and get up with fleas.

Third: Stop using PTSD as a goddamn excuse. I’m a combat vet, I had/have it, and I don’t let it define me. Whining that PTSD somehow keeps you from making friends or permanently effects your ability to trust is nothing but self-pitying horses~~~.

Finally: Take a good long look at your girlfriend. She’s the sole common thread in Idiot #1’s and Idiot #2’s odd requests and behavior. Or haven’t you noticed that yet? As a MGHOW, you shouldn’t be living with a woman or that involved in her life anyway.

Get your head and priorities straight. Simplify your life. Limit your interactions with women. Reclaim your personal sovereignty.

Good luck.

Everything Old bill said and then some.
You didn’t know where to post? There is Relations~~~s sub forum here.
This is a MGTOW forum and not a personal relationship advisory board or Cleo magazine.
You maintain, keep, have a girlfriend?. . . and you want to go mgtow ?
Old Bill said it, in essence all s~~~ will start and end with your gyrl.
We are not here to save your relationship, we are here to save you.

Maybe harsh but honest facts, not opinions.
Yeah, good luck.

Zero Tolerance

[Maraudrz1Participant 2250]

I, too, agree with what oldbill wrote. Your so-called “close friends” sound like a couple of scumbags to me. Dump them like a hot potato and take another long hard look at your girlfriend. Is she there for you or any money you may have? She did the right thing by letting you see the messages. But on the other hand did she set these situations up or allow them to just happen without shutting them down earlier? Get new friends to hang out with. Trust but verify that they want only companionship from you. Someone to hang out with. I also agree with Dr.Sable If you are in a long term relations~~~ with a woman maybe you shouldn’t be on this site. We’re not here to save your relations~~~s. we are here to help you and other men.

Women's brains and vagina have one thing in common. There is nothing in there until a man puts something in there.

[JackinovParticipant 5229]

Step 1. Get rid of EVERYBODY

Step 2. ????

Step 3. PROFIT

are you a chia pet in man drag

[OrlandoParticipant 833]

I think there’s more going on here than meets the eye. Your girlfriend doesn’t sound right. I recommend you jettison them all.

[xenonParticipant 2007]

Not your friends. This is outside acceptable behavior. I am left wondering what passed between the gf and the non friends before. So, in all likelihood, not your friends all 3.

[Clockwork PenguinParticipant 50]

Thanks for the responses, everyone. I really appreciate all of them.

I will admit, I did know as I was typing that there was going to be backlash. “You have a ‘girlfriend’, and you want to be MGTOW?”, yeah, I know. I’ve stated it from the start that I’m not sure that I fully subscribe to the belief, or any belief. I’m here because any man can tell you, if you find your trapped between two opposing sides in a war, you either choose a side, or you die.

I’m an egalitarian (laughable as it may be), and I stubbornly believe in something that I fully know and understand can never exist. I joined MGTOW because the people (who have all seemed genuine and real) all appear to respect me for who “I” am, not for who “they” (i.e. feminists) ‘want me to be’, and I respect that. The philosophy, as it feels to me at least, is that I can be whatever “I choose to be”, rather than what the opposing side is “tell me to be”. I support MGTOW and all the movements beliefs, I merely hope I can be accepted for following exactly what the movement suggests, “going my own way”. The paths may be slightly different, but our goal is ultimately the same.

The main reason for my requesting the insights of all of each of you who responded was for self-justification in throwing away my (former) idiot, scumbag “friends”. Friendship is not a title I give easily, and I needed outside confirmation that I wasn’t being just as much of an idiotic scumbag as them for kicking them to the curb. So to each of you, all of whom have reinforced my own opinion in cutting lunacy out of my life as quickly as possible, once again, I thank you.

[Anonymous 1]

I would be surprised if your gf isn’t encouring the behaviour from moron#1 and moron#2.

Answer is overwhelmingly obvious. you need none of them .

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Females are the root of all discord.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[Anonymous 54]

Freinds have your back.Any of those piece of s~~~s have your back? Great. Moving on.

[HitmanParticipant]

Check your definition of friendship. .and take another look at the girlfriend. .she probably love’s the attention. .not good for you.
Kick them all to the curb.
Good luck brother!

[Anonymous 24]

I agree with OldBill on this one. Let me put it more gently-
You should get new friends, I do it all the time. Drop people who are proven douchebags and give others a try. Over time you keep the good ones in your life and flee from the bad ones, it is simple. Look our for #1 at all times, if you don’t have your own best interests in mind, who will? Oh, and Facebook sucks ass through a s~~~ clogged straw.

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2726]

@clockwork,

If you ask for advice here, you will get honest replies. Don’t view it as backlash — just tough love. And think of @oldbill as the senior drill sergeant at basic training. He may get right up in your face sometimes, but ultimately he is trying to make you a better person.

I also need to echo what he said about PTSD. I am a combat vet too, infantry unit in Afghanistan 2012-2013. Seen some bad s~~~. PTSD? Been there, done that and it’s caused me some problems. But I don’t wear it on my sleeve, nor do I use it as a crutch or excuse. I deal with it, not focus on it, nor do I normally talk about it openly unless with another vet or therapist. Google “Hunt the Good” and read the first few links. It’s a method that has helped me.

I don’t give a s~~~ whether you have a girlfriend and want to be a MGHOW. There are some who will say that is impossible. Regardless, there are advantages to the MGTOW mindset that will help you take control of your life. But I can tell you, things will get confusing while you have one foot in blue pill hell quicksand and the other on the firm, red ground of MGTOW.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[OldBillParticipant]

Clockwork Penguin wrote:

I will admit, I did know as I was typing that there was going to be backlash.

Not a backlash. More like a dope slap.

You can have a girlfriend and still be a MGHOW. A long time member here, Snake, dropped by a few days ago to let us know how he’s getting along and telling us about his 10 month relationship with his current girlfriend. I myself regularly f~~~ a woman about a decade younger than me who is a university lecturer. We hook up more often than not whenever she’s in town.

You can have a girlfriend and still be a MGHOW. You cannot be a PATSY and still be a MGHOW however.

You have s~~~head “friends” whom you haven’t kicked to the curb because you’d prefer to hide behind a PTSD diagnosis than get on with your life. You have a drama-loving girlfriend who at the very least has unconsciously stirred up trouble with your s~~~head “friends” just for the “excitement” and you haven’t dumped her yet either.

You letting people use you and MGTOWs don’t allow themselves to be used.

Once again… Get your head and priorities straight. Simplify your life. Limit your interactions with women. Reclaim your personal sovereignty.

You can even have relationships with women as long as those relationships are on your terms.

Good luck and do the work.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Author]

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