My story begins with a young boy who grew up in a female dominated family. The men in my family always seemed to die early due to health complications while the women lived well into their old age. It is interesting to note that before I was a MGHOW, even before I was socialized by society, I was a bgtow(boy going my own way). I think we all were at one point in our lives. My cousins and I grew up playing within our own childhood tribes without girls. They had their dolls, their play ovens and doll houses while we had our action figures, Millennium falcons and tree houses. In school our natural hard-wired aggression became undesirable and unacceptable. We were forced to comply with institutionalized feminism through carrot-and-stick motivation, corrective discipline, drugs to tone down behavior or phased into special education classes via tracking. The ultimate betrayal though came from puberty. When that phase of my life hit me in my early teen years, I stopped going my way and started going her way. The chase for the opposite sex was on. Dating and picking up girls and getting attention from females became all that mattered. Homework and studying be damned. As I got older, going to clubs, parties and getting laid became a full time obsession. College life was one big quest for pussy. My peers and I became victims of satyriasis and Don juanism. We were a bunch of raving hypersexuals living for the weekend and the women. But after a while I eventually hit rock bottom. Seeing that my life was going nowhere, I asked myself “Is this all this is to life? Is life just all about ‘work eat f~~~ repeat’? So after my roaring 20s, I decided that it was time to find a wife and settle down. I did the whole ‘dating, falling in love, engagement and wedding thing’ with a woman whom I adored as my queen. What a crazy experience that was. I devoted myself to being the “good husband”. We shared chores and domestic responsibilities, I treasured and valued her and always tried to put her needs first above my own. My goal was to show her that I was a NAMALT. When we had kids I committed myself to being a good father and a good co-parent but all of this was for nothing in her book. What was the result from all of this servitude to the Empress? Sexual starvation and emotional abandonment. Making her happy and keeping her happy was the hardest thing in the world to do. Her mood swings and bi-polarism was off the chain. All of this led to pent up rage which led to stomach ulcers. Marital counseling was an absolute failure because of her unwillingness to change or put her marriage first. After 10 of the most miserable and unhappiest years of my life we divorced. I decided that child support and visitation(seeing my kids on my terms without her presence or involvement) was worth the price of freedom. So there I was a born again bachelor but still stuck in the matrix. After going through a bout of anger, bitterness and depression because of the whole life change that comes with divorce, I ventured back into the single scene. It was at this period in my life, the post-marital dating scene, that I had these epiphanies that I call “red pill chewables”. 1) I realized was that women are not worth the investment of my time, energy and resource. 2) I realized that they were not worth the elevation in status. The biggest mistake I ever made was pedestalizing them. 3) Apha males in the PUA community got it all wrong. Their value and worth is based on their ability to pick up women and hold the title as top dog. King Solomon(imho, the ultimate alpha male ) had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Those women didn’t provide him with happiness nor were they worth the price he paid for them. 4) The only thing that a woman can bring to the table is sex. That is all they have to offer me right now at this stage in my life. 5) I am happier alone. What women call loneliness, I call solitude. 6)Relationships don’t work. I love the term relations~~~. They are too selfish to love me the way I desire. 7) I had to accept the fact that all my adult life, I have assumed the role of a white knight, a simp and a mangina. 8) The media has emasculated the image of masculinity beyond recognition. 9) My value increased with age however a woman’s value diminishes with age. 10) This is an experience that I will always treasure: After they hit the wall, all of my exes(including my ex-wife) have called me to apologize to me for being a such a bitch during our relationships. 11) After my marriage I dabbled with a few fwb type relationships and a little p4p set ups and came to realize that there’s no difference between relationships and prostitution. It’s all prostitution. 12) I realized that every guy I knew was going through the exact same problem wit their women. It wasn’t just me. They were all miserable because AWALT is real. After these realizations came to me and eventually sank in, I went into monk-mode to fortify and re-educate myself. I read” No more Mr. Nice guy” and “Men on strike” which put me on the path. The “manipulated man” by Esther Vilar opened my eyes and I began to truly see how far the rabbit hole went. I joined men’s groups who were dedicated to encouraging men with their life and their mission in life. I started to deal with my love and sex addiction through support groups and they helped me to cultivate self- love and self-respect. It was at this stage that I discovered MGTOW and became totally unplugged. This site is a godsend and I am proud to be among you and to be considered one of you. A Ronin is a samurai without a master, lost and wandering. For a time, I was lost and wandering after I cut my “master” loose. But now I am repurposed. I am on my own mission. I shall be my own master and go my own way. I no longer waste time with relationships with women. I guess I am a level 1 mgtow. I envy no man and I sweat no woman. Self improvement is now a way of life for me. My life so far is like a batman trilogy. My life Part 1: Mangina begins. My life Part2:The White Knight. My life Part3:MGTOW Rises. I am enjoying my freedom, indulging in my hobbies, taking care of my health, travelling more and being the kind of father I want to be with my children. While most men are going through mid-life crisis at this age, I’m going through my mid-life liberation and it is incredible.
Ronin X 5 years ago.
