I have friends who have been friends for decades. About 30 years ago, one of them married the wrong girl. The rest of us could see this disaster coming, but when he asked us to be best man and groomsmen in his wedding, we agreed. We discussed it among ourselves, but not with him. We all saw the side of her that he didn’t see. We all knew what was going to happen.
The inevitable divorce occurred, just as we predicted. But we still didn’t say anything. More than 20 years later, we are all sitting around drinking beers and the subject of ex’s came up. When we got around to discussing that particular ex, one friend said, “I could see that s~~~ coming way before the wedding…”. Someone else said, “A blind man could have seen that coming…”. For just a second, the guy thought it was a joke. But no one was laughing. When he realized it wasn’t a joke, he looked around the room into all the faces present, and each one of us sort of nodded and acknowledged that we had all known.
He seemed like he felt pretty betrayed and said, “Why didn’t somebody tell me?”. We all explained that if we had tried, and he had married her anyway, he probably would have abandoned us and we wouldn’t be friends anymore. He accepted that, but I do still feel a little guilty for not having tried. So, I’ll commend you on saving that guy.
But now, you have made an enemy of his fiancé. And you did it in spades. You didn’t just ding her car, or spill wine on her carpet, or step on a flower in her yard. You sabotaged a wedding!!! You need to understand the difference. You haven’t just created a minor irritation. You torpedoed THE PINNACLE ACHIEVEMENT for every woman in the Western Hemisphere. You stuck a cattle prod up a dragon’s ass. You are in a similar position now as the Japanese Imperial navy the day after they bombed Pearl Harbor. You’ve had a tactical victory at the start of a gigantic war. Like any war, it ends when one of the participants has been destroyed.
I would not assume that this is going to blow over. I would not assume that she is just going to ‘get over it’. Assume instead that you have just started a war with a very capable enemy, and take EVERY POSSIBLE step to defend yourself. If she could kill you and be certain of getting away with it, she probably would have already done so. In your mind, you’ve just had a simple conversation with your friend. In her mind, it’s worse than burning her house down. That’s how big this is to her. This is not an exaggeration. Like most women, she would have very likely gotten a free house and a bunch of other assets from this marriage. you burned all of that down. Now comes her response. She has been reckless enough to warn you (in writing) what she is about to do to you.
Take her at her word!!! File the complaint. Make the police report. Get a restraining order. Take every step you can to defend yourself against the s~~~ storm that everyone (including her) is predicting. Get a body cam and a concealed handgun license if it’s legal in your state.
Assume that she is working on her own Manhattan Project, and if later it turns out you are wrong and we are all over reacting:
There is no consequence for overestimating your enemy, but underestimating her is suicide.
Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you
Skeptisk 2 years, 4 months ago.
