An Odd Road We Weave- Dating 108 Women

[QuellParticipant 2538]

Hello Everyone,

I believe I have finally found a place to call home so to speak. Good to be a part of the community. I feel like there is so much wonderful information and guidance here for both young and old men who want to breakout of the “business as usual” that is life for the modern man.

First off I want to say I’m deeply proud of myself for overcoming and now finally accepting life the way it is instead of the life I desire most. Like many of you, I’m a “proverbial trier” in the sense that if something doesn’t work I try to slam a round peg in a square hole until it fits. The thing is it never really does fit well in all aspects of life. It took me a long time to understand that if something isn’t naturally the way it should be to simply let it alone. Don’t try and force anything in life, it only leads to unhappiness. Definitely try and seize opportunities when present but also know when to cut your losses.

I was born with a disability to my left leg which included 16 operations as a kid. I’m missing most of my muscles in my hip, my ACL and LCL in my knee and basically have a femur that is 8 inches shorter than my right leg. I had 2 leg lengthening operations as a kid too. Lots of pain learning how to walk and re-walk over and over again. However, growing up I was always a little ham and had a wonderfully positive attitude. I was never down about my hardship.

I spent 1 year of my life on crutches at age 14 as my hip would dislocate out the back. The doctors could do no more for me and I accepted the fact that using crutches or a cane the rest of my life was going to be my reality so I sucked it up. I got so good at crutches I could beat my buddies up the stairs and win. To this day I can still walk on crutches with out my legs touching the ground simply by using my arms. It was one random day when, on the advice of a doctor, I went to see a man from Ireland who specialized in prosthetics who was doing a conference in my hometown. I spoke to the man after the conference and within minutes he drew up on a piece of paper a design for a brace that would transfer the weight from my bad hip to my seatbone. 6 months later after they built the brace I went home and ran on the sidewalk for the first time in over a year. It was the happiest moment of my life to be mobile again.

Alas gents I’ve learned in my 30 years on this planet that my life is abnormally hard. Over the years I became less and less optimistic and more and more realistic. I watched my friends go on and play sports, date the pretty women and generally become good men. It was in high school that I started to become introverted around large groups of people. I was great with my circle of friends but I learned very quickly that nobody liked the smart kid who was inquisitive, throw in a disability and being one of the short guys it made it hard to be popular. I slowly accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to be a top dog in the world so I invented a party guy personality with a little bit of a rebellious streak. I guess I didn’t care about getting in trouble as who gives a s~~~; I had 10 lb prosthetic leg to walk on every day and 16 surgeries under my belt. During those high school years though I thought I could still be a great man if I just kept trying. I was going to get a great girlfriend etc…

In college I managed to join a fraternity and embrace alcohol. With booze I could finally let go of the emotional and mental pain of being different and let the real me out. I did have some sexual experiences with women in college and always managed to get phone numbers etc… but I was always so afraid of being rejected because of my disability that I never followed up on any of them long-term.

After college I worked hard in my chosen field of marketing and website design and bought a condo in the city at 24. It was then I decided to truly take my life to the next level. I wanted love and I wanted a great girlfriend and companion. I studied PUA for many years starting in 2005 and forced myself to even join a lair in my city. I got over my approach anxiety and met some other great guys that helped each other. I approached and approached and had good conversations with women at various bars. I got a lot of numbers but very very few of them called me back the next day. I got my first girlfriend at 24 who was a kindergarten teacher who had just recently broken up with her bf of 1 year. I was so happy until she broke up with me 7 weeks later to go back to her bf. They are now married. I was torn up on the inside but moved forward. I threw myself into online dating, like many of you, and determined to conquer this thing from an analytical perspective. I got better and better at it and had a few meaningful connections with women and even got laid a few times but nothing ever stuck long-term until Sept 2010.

At 25 I met my first real long-term girlfriend online who was finally good looking and sweet and bubbly. Everything went like clockwork and all of that time and energy I had put into finding someone who would accept me for me would finally be for something. She became my girlfriend and I couldn’t have been happier. It wasn’t until 2 months into our relationship and after 4 times we had sex did she confess something to me in the darkness of her room… her ex bf had given her herpes! WTF. Apparently I made a shocked face that burned into her mind to this day. I acted calm but got the hell out of there the next day. I got blood tested 3 times over the course of a year and researched it to death over and over. But here is my blue pill self. I stayed with her. She was perfect in every other way and I was so joyed to have a girl who cared for me that I stayed. But I cut off sex. I felt betrayed by this horrible person but understood where she was coming from. She was scared right to tell me?! Big mistake. I stayed with this girl that I loved for 3.5 years without intercourse… only fingering her and getting BJ’s. I was always too scared to have sex with her again. I even moved out of state with her and did a long distance thing for a year. The real kicker is that I found her journal and discovered she had also given chlamydia to some poor sap and something called moluscoulm contagiousoum. and wasn’t sorry about it whatsoever even blaming these men for her bs. She was also going behind my back to talk to her ex bf and some dude she met online years ago. She had 5 longterm relationships in 12 years and never could commit to any of them. She had 5 jobs in 4 years and moved 11 different times since college. She could not be trusted but alas I’m an idiot. I couldn’t fix her. My logical self thought out dumping her every single day to where I grew angry, sad and obsessive. I kicked a hole in my wall and even broke down my door once while I was angry at her. I could’t get myself to leave though. I knew I would be alone again. Eventually she grew tired of me not wanting to have sex with her. We were looking to settle down and I loved her so I gave in and had sex with her 5 more times with a condom. She dumped me after 3.5 years saying there was no passion in our relationship and only wanted to have sex in the moment without a condom. She even got p~~~ed at me for washing my dick off with a washcloth and anti-bacterial soap. She could always detect I was nervous while having sex and could see my shocked faced which was burned into her memory from the time she first told me about her condition. Alas, I never did get her condition and I’m grateful it ended when it did.

However, I was devastated. I lost 50 lbs and once again was alone. That was 2 years ago gents and am only now getting my life back on track. I’ve kept track of how many dates (at least 1) I’ve been on in my life and it is at 108 since I was the age of 16-30 years old. I got heavily back into Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, POF, Match, Hinge, Bumble etc… I can honestly say I’ve spent thousands of dollars, sent thousands upon thousands of emails and texts to these women and have been on the same dates over and over again. I have it down to a science now on what to say stories etc… It doesn’t matter. Women are horrible creatures. I’ve gotten laid a decent number of times and had some fun sexual experiences, had a few women fall in love with me and a whole lot of psychos. I’ve dated nice church girls, druggies, party chicks, career gals, nerds, ultra liberal feminists and outdoorsy women. They are all the same and I have yet to find another decent relationship since. They all want money, status and a powerful man who loves kittens but only has eyes for them. Some of my female friends have said they will hold out for only a man who is over 6’0″, makes over $100,000 and has a big c~~~. Meanwhile they all have emotional and mental issues up to wazoo and are only good for one thing in reality. They all cheat, gossip, cause drama and each one has f~~~ed between 30-90 men. Even some of my fatter female friends all ride the c~~~ carousel in droves too, And… each one is single except for a couple. I can’t wait for them to hit that wall.

I own my own small business now in addition to my full time job, dress well, am a homeowner, have great friends and travel a lot. I do random road trips to ghost towns, am into photography, paint, play the piano, play golf, brew my own beer, publish short stories and I just took up archery not too long ago. I’ve learned that I’m simply good enough for the modern woman. They all want something Mr. GQ and short and crippled isn’t on that list no matter how charming I can be for awhile. I’m not terribly bad looking just walk with a small limp.

A word of advice: A woman in her prime may date a confident man or even f~~~ them once or twice but they will never commit to a lesser man simply for his confidence.

So I’ve given up after 108 women I’ve dated since I was the age 16. I’m done. I can’t stomach another waste time or rejection. I don’t want to date fat women, lazy women or the plethora of single moms out there. I don’t want to get divorced or taken advantage of any longer. I’m simply tired now.

So this is why I’m here today. I’ve decided to live my life for myself and go mgtow. I hope to learn from you all and be a part of this community. I hate to quit anything in life and I really do love the company of a woman but I’m no longer going to try and push a round peg in a square hole. It just isn’t healthy. Since I’ve stopped dating I’ve remodeled my bathroom, began working out again and am eating right but the most wonderful change I’ve noticed is my stress and anxiety diminished greatly. Day by day I will improve and create the life that I want to live for myself.

Thanks Everyone For Suffering Through The Long Read

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

Quell wrote:

Women are horrible creatures. I’ve gotten laid a decent number of times and had some fun sexual experiences, had a few women fall in love with me and a whole lot of psychos. I’ve dated nice church girls, druggies, party chicks, career gals, nerds, ultra liberal feminists and outdoorsy women. They are all the same and I have yet to find another decent relationship since. They all want money, status and a powerful man who loves kittens but only has eyes for them.

Welcome to the club Quell! You’ve got more dating experience than most of us. I’m glad to hear your stress has diminished greatly. It sounds like you’ve dated sooooo many different types of girls, and realized they all want the same thing, a man who is loyal to her and offers his resources to her. You’ve gone through a hundred and eight, now’s it’s time to focus on yourself and celebrate.

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[HitmanParticipant]

you are in the right place pal ! welcome brother !

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22531]

Welcome Quell.

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Welcome Quell. I enjoyed reading you introduction.

A word of advice: A woman in her prime may date a confident man or even f~~~ them once or twice but they will never commit to a lesser man simply for his confidence.

Good advice. Our media and culture would have us believe otherwise.

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

Quell wrote:

I was born with a disability to my left leg which included 16 operations as a kid. I’m missing most of my muscles in my hip, my ACL and LCL in my knee and basically have a femur that is 8 inches shorter than my right leg. I had 2 leg lengthening operations as a kid too. Lots of pain learning how to walk and re-walk over and over again. However, growing up I was always a little ham and had a wonderfully positive attitude. I was never down about my hardship.

…………………

6 months later after they built the brace I went home and ran on the sidewalk for the first time in over a year. It was the happiest moment of my life to be mobile again.

Thanks Everyone For Suffering Through The Long Read

your childhood was incredibly tough, and it makes me feel lucky to be mobile. Being a man who loves playing soccer, I can’t imagine living without my legs. You sound stronger than ever. I’m happy for you.
Cheers

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[Anonymous 5]

Thanks for the great read and welcome to the forums

Quell wrote:

but nothing ever stuck long-term until Sept 2010.

I stopped right here after reading all the usual pain, suffering and confidence wrecking trauma men put themselves through in the pursuit of partnership and intimacy with a female.
I got up and checked the chicken casserole I’m slowly cooking,,,because I knew the worst part was just ahead.
I was right. The worst part is always when a man actually catches his “Prize”.

My real life scare didn’t come from the doses of STD’s I’d contracted, they were very easily fixed, it came when I bumped into an old friend.
A woman had done exactly the same to him as that woman did to you. She’d had sex without telling about her STD..

He wasn’t as fortunate as you. He’d contracted a nasty incurable strain of Herpes that has changed his life in unimaginably.
He didn’t find out till he was diagnosed months later and confronted her.
Her hamster logic rational reply was that she was scared he’d dump her if she told him. UUuuhm,,,,yeah.
I’ve never seen a guy more changed from the upbeat guy he was once.

By now you’d have realized close to 100% of all loneliness is in the head of the “Lonely”
If you really feel like being lonely again, get into another long term relationship.
You’ll never feel more alone.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

You only prove my theory that the best PUAs are the guys who have some sort of disadvantage – be it height or physical appearance.
Most of PUAs I ever knew personally were short guys
All of them had something to prove, so this pushed them forward
Great intro. Welcome

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[Bob BashboshParticipant 160]

Well Quell, sounds to me like you’re quite the catch. If I could list such a varied and impressive repertoire of skills and interests, I might not be quite so reluctant to participate in formal social events. As for having slightly asymmetrical legs, I know of no one who was born, flawless. Yes confidence does compensate in part for any ‘perceived’ physical shortcomings, but, like you, I found it impossible to keep up the pretence. Ironically, it’s only since I stopped trying to impress the laydeez that my confidence has improved, perhaps, because I have little interest in pandering to their expectations. Anyway, what a great read, thank you Quell, you’ve inspired me. 🙂

[Anonymous 42]

I see red stilettos when I think of strippers!
Welcome to MGTOW Quell, enjoy your stay!

[Anonymous 5]

Welcome Quell, I have a friend that told me his x wife would act funny when he wanted sex, and later he found out she had herpes and would only have sex when it wasn’t breaking out, so that she wouldn’t give it to him. I didn’t know that’s how it worked with herpes until he told me that, I don’t know if it’s a certain kind of herpes, or all herpes, unless I’m misinformed, somebody correct me, either way, I’m glad you dodged those bullets and didn’t get burned, welcome.

You can still get infected even when the c~~~ appears clean.

[QuellParticipant 2538]

Thanks so much guys for the warm welcome!

To answer your question about herpes:

I bet I put in a good 100 hours into reading about it and studying research papers, forums, and cures they are working on in hopes it would have cured my ex. Anyway to solved my issue at the time. Here is what I learned:

There is HSV-1 which is mostly oral herpes (likes to live on the lips but can be transferred genitially via oral sex. 90% of the population has this and is generally referred to as cold sores.

HSV-2 is genital herpes and almost exclusively likes to lived on the genital tissue. Very rare to get HSV-2 on your lips or throat. 25% of the population has this or 1/4. 80% show no signs or symptoms and thus never know they have it.

You can test for either via a blood pannel using IGG or IGM antibody detection. You have to ask for these tests as they are not part of a standard STD pannel.

Once you have any strain of herpes (there are like 15+, chicken pox and shingles are herpes too) it will always be in your body. It is a virus that lives dormant in your nervous system cells near your spine. The virus is always there but only is active about 2-5 days a month via a process called viral shedding. This is where the virus come out of the nerve cells and replicates. This is the time where you can pass the diease along to others. Valtex and other anti-viral meds can kill the virus when it is active and mostly prevent it from spreading. With daily suppressive therapy and condoms your chance of transmission is 1% per year. Just condoms alone and no anti-viral your chances are about 10%. Make no qualms about it though if you are with someone longterm you will get it eventually. Women have tend to have worse symptoms than men and usually after the first outbreak the blisters etc… are not bad and is more like a red spot for a few days. However some get horrible outbreaks for many years; it all depends on how your body reacts to it. Like I said most people have no symptoms, don’t know they have it or have 1 terrible outbreak and then nothing else the rest of their lives.

There are some scientific studies in place to cure it but since the virus lies deep within the nervous system it’s hard to bring out and intricate it from the body.

I tried for a long time to find out a way to be safe with my ex but ultimately I was never comfortable with it. I didn’t want to go down on her and when having sex with her I always thought, “welp this is the day I get herpes…but I do love her” What a fool I was. If you have a kid the woman has to get a cessarian section as passing a kid through the birth canal can cause a transmission of the virus. Herpes to a newborn baby can cause brain damage.

Be careful out there gents. Always wrap it up and if it is too easy of a chase it is probably too good to be true and she is either physically or mentally f~~~ed up.

Cheers!

[Anonymous 11]

Quell wrote:

Thanks Everyone For Suffering Through The Long Read

Not as much as you suffered from dating 108 women and welcome by the way.

[Anonymous 29]

Quell wrote:

Hello Everyone,
I’ve decided to live my life for myself and go mgtow.

Freedom from the yoke.

Quell wrote:

Thanks Everyone For Suffering Through The Long Read

Rather that than 15 seconds of female bulls~~~. Good read though.
Welcome Quell.

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