Hi there, I’m sort of new to the whole concept of MGTOW. Growing up I was always harassed for who I was. A mute possibly autistic person. I’m still not sure if I am autistic because a doctor won’t tell me whenever it comes up. They usually bring it up but they never seem to tell me- asking me “do you have aspergers?” How am I supposed to know! You’re the doc. For years I dealt with inner turmoil. Feeling like a bottom dweller omega male.
Throughout high school I had a few friends that were girls but never any girlfriends. Girls liked to tease me throughout my school years. I was a real blue pill mangina. I stood up for women and they would all be so happy that I did. A pat on the head for their pet mangina. People tended to think I was odd always being single and never having any sexual or romantic relations with women.
I wanted relations but now I question if it is more like society trying to push what they want onto me rather than what I actually want. Struggling with mental health issues I am now somewhat coming out of my shell at the age of 21 nearing 22. By mental health problems I mean being obese, an agoraphobic, mutism problems, never having a job, the list of flaws seems to go on and on. Over the past year I focused on improving myself. Lost a lot of weight. Trying to become more alpha. I’ve always felt like I could be alpha but maybe at this point it’s better to be Zeta. I’m not short, I’m 6’2. I was 275 pounds but now I’m 210. Along with taking medication to try and improve myself mentally too. Being able to go outside on my own. I already knew how to drive but I just never wanted to go out. I still struggle with eye contact. A real omega male.
In my times talking to women online. Not even with the idea of relationships but just to talk. Many liked to talk about having “male problems.” Their husbands suck, they’re so boring, they want them to abuse them, their husbands are ignoring them, and they were going around behind their husband’s back with plans to cheat. They practically gave up on their looks. I would see their picture and be completely turned off. They were hideous ugly women. They would talk about how they hate their husband and their kids and how they just like how they can stay home and be given stuff. I’ve heard these types of remarks about just sitting at home with kids and letting the man bring home the bacon. They themselves probably trying to feign mental illnesses so that they could stay home all day and do nothing/ f~~~ other people behind their husband’s backs/ take lots of drugs. I tend to venture on mental health forums since I have dealt with mental health problems for perhaps all of my life and is why I was such a mangina at some points. Being a mangina is a mental illness.
An apology to men for being a mangina.
To be specific my peak of mangina, was in high school. I would stay friends and take abuse from ugly trogolodyte women I didn’t even find attractive. They were fat and ugly with bad acne, short with a developing monobrow- you could see how low my self-esteem was at this point. I am glad they all had boyfriends already (those poor souls) so that nothing could have developed but even then I realized I was hoping their boyfriends would break up with them so that I could bang them. I’m a virgin still. Just haven’t been involved with anyone period lately. A real shut-in. Though I’m just trying to get back out and reclaim my life not for the chance of a woman’s embrace like I had thought of in the past but for myself.
RoyDal 4 years, 11 months ago.
