An Interesting Conversation With My Mother

[Governor Megachris%Participant 3584]

I almost wonder if she knows about this website and my comments on it.

If you all remember a while back, I wrote how my mother would essentially put me down for not wanting a woman, and that not wanting kids or getting married was me “missing out on a lot.”

I’m now seeing a woman I’ve been seeing for about 6 months. While there is no sex because of her disliking of it (there are positives AND negatives to that, honestly), she does help out around my place when she’s over, and she’ pays for a majority of our meals as well as does the driving and pays to fill my gas tank to go see her. She suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome, and is incredibly socially awkward.

We had lunch with my mother earlier today, and my lady ordered the most expensive salad on the menu. I told her my mother was trying to watch her spending (like I have been lately), but she “forgot” that part. After the food was brought to her, she said she “didn’t like the way the salad tasted because there were too many fruits and veggies mixed and it was freaking her taste buds out.” I agreed to swap plates with her and ate it myself (it was actually a lot healthier anyway). She then would randomly bring up how she doesn’t want or like kids, and how my nephew I watched yesterday would give her a “panic attack.”

My mother could see it was bugging me that she was bringing up some rather “TMI” stuff as well. I wasn’t worried about my mother’s opinion, though. All I was doing there was thinking “these (rather attractive) waitresses have more personality than my own girlfriend….” Which is true! I know it sounds horrible to be saying this about someone who isn’t “all there,” but I can’t even be SARCASTIC around her.without her taking it literally because she doesn’t know any better. Everything just becomes…awkward.

Anyway, after the lunch, as my lady was waiting in the car, my mother told me “you don’t HAVE to get married or have kids, you know…and you certainly don’t have to stay with this girl because you might feel bad for her or something. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with NOT having kids or getting married. You can take care of yourself as you’re doing so well to do now. I know you’re improving, and I’m proud to see that. I say, if she stresses you out, I wouldn’t even continue the relationship.”

It got to the point about my mom talking about “what if she gets pregnant?” I told her “impossible. She doesn’t want to ‘do the deed’ it takes to GET pregnant.” My mom’s face dropped a little. “Wait…she doesn’t even deliver some sort of INTIMACY for you?”

What’s funny is that my sister AND my mother have asked me about this in the past 2 weeks. I told them the same thing, and they answered the same way. Kind of a “I don’t know how you’re going without it” kind of reaction.

I have nothing against this girl otherwise. She’s logical, she provides for me equally as I do for her, she gets involved in the hard work, she’s supportive of my idea of being minimalist and cutting back on finances, she doesn’t want a huge wedding (if there ever was one) or ANYTHING expensive…but the lack of just SOME kind of physical pleasure or contact and the fact that she doesn’t shave as often as she should (she literally grows hair EVERYWHERE, including her face) bugs me quite a bit.

It really does boil down to either having a woman with good looks and a horrid personality, or a woman with iffy looks and a great personality. Obviously can’t have both!

I’m not in it for the long haul, anyway. Never planned on getting married or having kids with her or anyone. I can’t commit very well in the first place (for obvious reasons). But having my mother of all people agree (when she formerly attacked my viewpoints) is REALLY weird.

[Anonymous 42]

Mom’s antenna is picking up signals emitting from her that you’re apparently not aware of! Megachris78%, what are you thinking? No go up and down??? NO ((((yeehaw))))??? Classic mistake! A woman is for polishing the knob! Any other use is NULL & VOID!
Sounds like a friend zone dead end!
Are you still moving chicks for free??? if so that’s another 15 points, bringing your losses to 63%. three or four polite deeds to any feminist and your average could drop below 50%, from there it’s a slippery slope with the bottom being mangina 100%!

[HitmanParticipant]

megachris , do you feel bad for your girl-friend ? what ARE you doing with her ? only you can answer that ,..if she aint polishing your knob , what PURPOSE does she serve ? you are a young guy , plenty of living to do ! your call bro , but i would question why you pal around with this chick at ALL if even your mom KNOWS if she is not providing sex , ( because that is what women are for ! ) , why bother ? .btw ..a child with her ( if one evening you guys f~~~ ) will probably be a ” special needs ” kid.. BAD news ..better to focus on YOUR future and not hang out with this chick. just my take dude ..

[Anonymous 18]

Edit: I realize the intention of your topic was to highlight your mom’s opinion about this girl.

I was side tracked and gave a commentary on the girl itself.

Unsolicited advice. Hence I edited it out.

I don’t have much to add about your mom’s opinion other than to think she feels you are better off alone than to be with the new girl.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Go buy a cuddly toy. It will serve you better.

No good will come of this for you. It’s merely a game of frustration.

Punch out.

[Governor Megachris%Participant 3584]

Anonymous wrote:

Mom’s antenna is picking up signals emitting from her that you’re apparently not aware of! Megachris78%, what are you thinking? No go up and down??? NO ((((yeehaw))))??? Classic mistake! A woman is for polishing the knob! Any other use is NULL & VOID!Sounds like a friend zone dead end!Are you still moving chicks for free??? if so that’s another 15 points, bringing your losses to 63%. three or four polite deeds to any feminist and your average could drop below 50%, from there it’s a slippery slope with the bottom being mangina 100%!

HAHAHA! Nope, I haven’t helped a chick move for free since that “incident.” I’ve not done ONE free thing ever since then, nor WILL I ever again! This has been a little thing I’ve been caught in for a little while now, but I’ve not thought much of it as it hasn’t made an effect on my life as much as previous relationships did (and THOSE were all disastrous and had negative effects). The girl I’m seeing is well aware that I won’t do anything for her unless she returns the favor. Having said that, she DOES give more than receive. Just…absolutely no “polishing the knob” at all. That’s the thing that stinks, honestly. The companionship is quite good, I’ll admit that…but like I said. Not getting married for reasons we all know. Not even considering engagement or co-habitation or ANYTHING like that. She’s all for me getting one of those “tiny houses” (I half-jokingly looked into them once as a way of becoming minimalist) and moving in with me into one of those…but sorry (not really), not happening.

Hitman wrote:

megachris , do you feel bad for your girl-friend ? what ARE you doing with her ? only you can answer that ,..if she aint polishing your knob , what PURPOSE does she serve ? you are a young guy , plenty of living to do ! your call bro , but i would question why you pal around with this chick at ALL if even your mom KNOWS if she is not providing sex , ( because that is what women are for ! ) , why bother ? .btw ..a child with her ( if one evening you guys f~~~ ) will probably be a ” special needs ” kid.. BAD news ..better to focus on YOUR future and not hang out with this chick. just my take dude ..

Like stated above, it’s rather good companionship, but oddly enough my mother even said it looked like nothing more than a close friendship. I’m not one to agree with my mother often as of late (especially after joining this site and all that jazz), but I felt she was at least right on this point. Funny you mention the potential child being a “special needs” kid. That’s ALSO one thing that keeps me from wanting to do anything with her. Thinking about THAT really does have an impact on all this. My mother asked me why every woman I date seems to be mentally unstable. I REALLY withheld from telling her every woman is unstable, though I hinted it by saying “every woman I’ve dated is mentally unsound because every woman in my age range is this way.” The fact that my girlfriend’s called me before at work telling me she wants to sever her limbs just because her mind says so REALLY set off a red flag. This was in this past week ALONE. I asked her if it was because she was depressed about something. “No, just feeling like I need to do it. The same feel of ‘needing’ to do something like if I were hungry and needed to eat…” WHA–!?

Anonymous wrote:

Edit: I realize the intention of your topic was to highlight your mom’s opinion about this girl.
I was side tracked and gave a commentary on the girl itself.
Unsolicited advice. Hence I edited it out.

Actually, feel free to say something about that. I’m kinda curious what it was…it’s probably a LOT like what I’m thinking.

ILiveAgain wrote:

Punch out.

I’m honestly planning to. In efforts of “cutting back” my material things and saving money, punching out will be part of it.

[RoyDalParticipant]

@Megachris%,

The question seems to be how much longer are you going to inflict suffering upon yourself before you deal with it.

Wise up! Do not put off until tomorrow what you need to do today!

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Anonymous 11]

Mega: I think you’re getting really desperate for female companionship which is a very normal desire. I mean I really, really would enjoy having a genuine Unicorn in my life.

You’re selling yourself way short man. She’s calling you at work while contemplating severing limbs is the mother of all red flags.

Women are all crazy of that there is no doubt. Even women will admit this as true. It sounds to me that you’re choosing or attracting the upper echelons of the crazy scale. It seems that attracting above average crazy women is a long standing issue for you. Disordered people seek out and attach to others for certain specific reasons. Examine yourself and try to determine what is causing this pattern in your life.

[Anonymous 18]

Governor Megachris% wrote:

Actually, feel free to say something about that. I’m kinda curious what it was…it’s probably a LOT like what I’m thinking.

Along the consensus here among the wise men, I was going to state that there are quite a bit of issues with this chick but the topmost being the whole anxiety regarding sex thing.

Companionship and non-sexual things aside, given the disruption in the forces that being with a woman brings (regardless of how smooth sailing it is, it is only a matter of time before the waves directed at other people, in different circumstances start crashing on the man) there has to be a selfish element regarding whats in it for you.

Logic and feelings are exclusive. If such was not the case, I personally would not need to reach out to mgtow.com and gain a perspective. Logically you can perhaps see all the things that would make this woman less than ideal partner; as you stated it is most likely temporary. Now feelings are not rational and obvious. They function and grow and gain permanence in their subtlety. Before you know it you start to feel love for this woman. And how we perceive love is quite opposite to what it really is. In other words, the most intense you feel about her the unhealthier it is. And she has quite a bit of recipe to making things psychologically unhealthy.

As they say true love is being able to let go. And with people that have an affinity to drama (she strikes me as such) the sane partner falls in trauma bonding Getting attached to all things unhealthy. As much as you can logically reason that you will be able to have a clear conscience and be able to draw limits when the time comes, I can affirmatively say it would be a mess.

Pathology works like misery. It loves company. If she has one personality disorder it is only a matter of time before you start gaining insight in a few others.

After going through my own s~~~ty stance of being a loverboy I must say I am quite cautious about the future. And it almost always goes downhill compared to the new relationship stage. Even from that perspective she seems like a handful.

I would like to add that this could very well be a phase for you. May be logic says no woman, no love, no sex. And the evidence here is used to justify that reasonable conclusion. But you have let some underlying vulnerability to give her access to your life. Things transform with time, she may very well change her mind and want to have a child.

You are doing the right thing by not putting your dick in crazy. But the reasons are not quite impressive.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

aspergers? dude, take her to a casino and have her count cards and s~~~. find out what she’s good at and cash in.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[ShinyParticipant 2307]

Hey Megachris, thanks for the update – I’ve been following what you’re saying because I’ve got a few issues with my own mother that have had the potential to colour all my subsequent relations~~~s with women.

Since I am trying to go a MGHOW monk path, I’ll say this;

It really does boil down to either having a woman with good looks and a horrid personality, or a woman with iffy looks and a great personality.

IF you can live without the sex, and enjoy the companionship, I say that’s good: especially if you have been up front about it not being long term, and it’s not costing you anything now. Sounds ideal: looks – and passion – fade, but a good companion keeps on giving. But keep in mind old women are canny, particularly re the behaviour of their own sex. Your mum MAY be thinking purely about her own stake in this – imagining your GF as potential daughter-in-law / mother-of-the-grandkids material – but she may also be recognising negative signs of the s~~~ women do, that only other women pick up on. Tread carefully.

[Anonymous 42]

Megachris, Dude, trust me; from my point of view you allow yourself to be a kitty carpet pole, all the stray women can see your blue nylon shag carpet from all over metropolis, and there they are, scratching and pulling the fibers of your mind, and all the cat hair they leave behind has you sneezing and coughing, I’m really glad to see you aren’t moving them around like an animal control officer! My I suggest you dip your blue nylon shag kitty carpet pole in MGTOW CONCRETE! Then throw broken glass at it before the concrete sets!
It worked for ME!

[AttonParticipant]

She is almost certainly reading this site, its not really hard to make relationships between information and put things together.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[DethklokParticipant 153]

Between dealing with my mother and girlfriends my whole life, the stress has been astounding.

Remove the two from this story, and you went to lunch, and enjoyed the food you ordered. Doesn’t that sound way more relaxing than pandering to two women?

[Author]

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