Already married – Pro’s and Con’s of divorce??

[WildAtHeartParticipant 11]

What are the pro’s and con’s of getting divorced?

If the pro’s outweigh the con’s, is it better to initial divorce or have her start proceedings, and why?

We separated 2/3 years ago and she doesn’t seem too bothered wither we get a divorce or not.

She has a passport (tho not current citizenship) for a country i’d quite live to move and buy property in, so this would be beneficial to stay married as i wouldn’t be able to buy there otherwise.

Other considerations, we have 4 children and i have a growing business that it looking like it will become particularly lucrative in the next 2 yrs.

Yes, she got the house and all contents, along with the kids. This i am comfortable with.

[Wolf redpillmanSpectator 1658]

Run and don’t look back its a trap

[WildAtHeartParticipant 11]

Wolf redpillman wrote:

Run and don’t look back its a trap

Thanks for your opinion. If you could offer reasons and examples of these, that would be helpful.

[braininavatParticipant 95]

My advice: do nothing in regard to making a divorce happen. Wait for her to file, if she ever does. When she does file, drag your feet and delay, as the more you can drag things out when she wants out, the more you can play on her impatience and possibly obtain a less onerous settlement just because she wants out.

But while doing nothing on the legal divorce front, you need to do everything possible to shelter your assets. Siphon off as much money as you can and store it in some secure way that is invisible to government and the legal system (cash in a safe is a good bet). Minimize your investment in anything that can be legally traced to you. Anything you buy now is community property, so only buy things that are perishable (rent, food, clothes) and stow away the rest.

Maybe you could use your business to open locations in other countries where you could shelter assets under your name only. Get local legal advice on what is possible. Consider opening an offshore bank account. Do some research and find where you can buy property in your own name but it cannot be taken away from you by divorce proceedings. Laws vary considerably country-to-country.

Be rational, unemotional, and systematic about protecting yourself and your assets. Be ready to negotiate with your wife and strike a deal. It is possible if you can keep a cool head, and you will probably do better in negotiating an out-of-court settlement than anything you would get in a court. You will also save on attorney’s fees. Divorce is an industry you do not want to support if you can help it.

[SpacemonkeyParticipant 1481]

It seems like a complicated situation, more details please. Where are you and what are the nationality/residence issues? Have you spoken to a lawyer or accountant? Get proper legal advice, but get a range of opinions as you need good legal representation.

“Long is the way and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light.”

[OldBillParticipant]

WildAtHeart wrote:

Thanks for your opinion. If you could offer reasons and examples of these, that would be helpful.

Reasons and examples? You need reasons and examples despite the fact that every marriage is unique because of the people and assets unique to it? We know nothing about your age, your wife’s age, ages of the children, assets, incomes, debts, any of it, but you want reasons and examples?

My Spidey-Sense is definitely tingling about this one, but here we go anyway…

– You’ve been separated for 9 months so she’s already f~~~ing someone else. Would that be a problem for you if you decide to reconcile?
– Your business will allegedly grow sometime in the next two years, so she’ll get a bigger piece of it the longer you wait to divorce.
– Her passport – but not citizenship? – will somehow help you buy property in a certain country at some time in the future. Assuming, of course, that you’ll still want to move there in the future.

And all this is just what immediately came to mind.

Ask yourself this; You separated from her, left your house, left your kids, for a reason. Does that reason still hold?

Divorcing her won’t completely remove her from your life, but it will remove her more than she is now.

Finally, if you choose when the divorce process begins, you’ll be better prepared for it. I’m surprised she hasn’t served you already and you must assume her papers could arrive at any time.

Good luck.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[RoyDalParticipant]

But while doing nothing on the legal divorce front, you need to do everything possible to shelter your assets.

This is an excellent point.

You say you need her papers to buy property in a country of your choice. Does this make her your business partner? Will she be able to tie up or seize those assets in the future? What other mischief can she work, should she become vengeful and wreak her wroth against you?

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[WildAtHeartParticipant 11]

Spacemonkey wrote:

It seems like a complicated situation, more details please. Where are you and what are the nationality/residence issues? Have you spoken to a lawyer or accountant? Get proper legal advice, but get a range of opinions as you need good legal representation.

UK, 32 and want to move to cuba.

My business is worldwide ecommerce if that helps

[WildAtHeartParticipant 11]

OldBill wrote:

My Spidey-Sense is definitely tingling about this one

in regards to??

OldBill wrote:

– You’ve been separated for 9 months so she’s already f~~~ing someone else. Would that be a problem for you if you decide to reconcile?

sorry, thats 2-3 years not 2/3 years. Yeah, shes f~~~ed a few. I’m not entirely sure i want to reconcile. I thought i did for the dream of being a happy family. But given the reasons things broke down, now i’m not an emotional wreck and thinking clearly, im not sure i’d even want her back.

OldBill wrote:

– Your business will allegedly grow sometime in the next two years, so she’ll get a bigger piece of it the longer you wait to divorce.

This was my thinking and reason for considering going for divorce out of court settlement or legal separation.

OldBill wrote:

Ask yourself this; You separated from her, left your house, left your kids, for a reason. Does that reason still hold?

Yes

[WildAtHeartParticipant 11]

RoyDal wrote:

You say you need her papers to buy property in a country of your choice. Does this make her your business partner?

No, just something id like to make the most of if possible.

RoyDal wrote:

Will she be able to tie up or seize those assets in the future? What other mischief can she work, should she become vengeful and wreak her wroth against you?

i dont believe she would. she could have before with her last partner who she had a child with as he is worth millions but she never took anything other than what she needed. rare i know. i got super lucky i think.

[OldBillParticipant]

WildAtHeart wrote:

im not sure i’d even want her back.

Sounds as if you’re answering your own question.

This (getting a bigger settlement – OB) was my thinking and reason for considering going for divorce out of court settlement or legal separation.

Again, you’re answering the questions you asked us.

Yes (the reason for separating still hold – OB)

Once again, you’ve answered your own questions.

You don’t want her back, you’re worried she’ll ask for or get more money when/if you business improves, and the reason you separated from her still holds true. Keeping all that in mind, why did you need to ask the questions you did?

Regarding her not financially raping her last husband, did she marry him in another jurisdiction? The divorce laws could very well be different there and that might be the reason she didn’t get so much. It wasn’t a case of her choosing not to take too much, instead it was a case of the law limiting how much she could get.

Regardless, you need to heed the advice already given you. Consult an attorney and accountant with your concerns. You need to begin seriously planning for your divorce. You need to make decisions about what you want, what you can possibly get, and what steps you must take.

You’ve been separated nearly 3 years now and it would be surprising if she hasn’t already begun planning to divorce you. Whether it is to your best advantage to strike first or counter-punch is a decision you need to reach in consultation with your lawyer(s) and accountant(s). Either way, you need to start planning and taking steps now.

Remember, luck occurs when preparation meets opportunity. If you want to be lucky in your divorce, you need to be prepared for it.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

In the UK you will be divorced …. but never divorced… if you get my drift.

She can keep going back asking for more … even years later.

Not long ago a new presadant was set when an ex wife went back after 10 years and got more.

You could spend years thinking when would be the best time.

You can’t predict the future or know what’s coming.

If you want out … just do it knowing the full weight of the system is on her side.

Right this life off and plan to start anew …. from a much lesser position … but free.

You WILL be raped in court … make no mistake.

[08jkjeff@gmail.comParticipant 40]

There are no cons of divorce or any situation which brings happiness.
Stop worrying about every single detail, because there will most certainly be at least one thing which you did not prepare for or have not taken into consideration.

I f~~~ing hate quotes, I truly do, but I have no other choice than to leave you with one…

YOUR HEART IS FREE, HAVE THE COURAGE TO FOLLOW IT.

[NEVERGELParticipant 166]

It’s always better to initiate the divorce since this will give you the best advantage. You must get your finances in order, so consult an attorney and accountant as soon as possible. She might be “cool” right now because she thinks she has the upper hand on you. But as soon as you file and she gets served, watch her flip the psycho-bitch switch. If you’ve properly prepared first it will make this period better than if you had not prepared. Just realize this won’t be easy or pretty, but it beats putting your life on hold while she gets ready to really put the screws to you! Good luck!

I live the life I love and I love the life I live.

[hollowtipsParticipant 681]

Frankly you’re already f~~~ed either way. If you stay together you’ll continue to be her bitch, she got the house and all 4 of your kids. You probably give money on a monthly basis already for the kids and she probably spends 80% on herself. Probably has another guy banging her twice a week.

If you divorce you can forget about making any real estate purchases, she’ll rip your bank apart, keep the house, get the children unless you fight like hell, could even get the business from you. You’ll pay child support for the 4 children and probably be in your 50’s by the time the last child is 18.

You might as well cut the ties now, everyday that goes by is a day longer you’re enslaved.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

http://finance.ninemsn.com.au/newsbusiness/9083637/adelaide-woman-left-with-5-to-fight-australias-most-expensive-divorce

[narwhalParticipant]

UK is probably different then US in some ways, but I’m sure divorce is the only way that you can financial break yourself from her. You already know that she’s getting half of everything you have while you are married, so the longer you are married, the more she takes from you. You are also exposing yourself to financial liability. Every credit card debt she has is yours. God forbidden she has a large medical expense (maybe not an issue for UK) you are responsible. If she gets another child from some other guy, you will be just as responsible for it as she is. I don’t see a benefit to staying married if you aren’t actually going to be married.

Ok. Then do it.

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