Advise me on your policies with new females and female friends

[OneforfreedomParticipant 930]

So after having gone MGTOW 3 months ago, I have the following policies in place regarding females:

Strange/Unknown females: Do not engage in conversation. Respond to all interests with one word answers. Do not make eye contact. Move away if one sits/comes near you. Disengage, Disengage, Disengage.

Female friends from before I went MGTOW: Treat them coldly. Do not share personal life details with them like I used to before I went MGTOW. Ignore most of the time.

That said, I’m beginning to see that there are some negative repercussions to giving this cold shoulder to females….most significantly, I have found that I am not happy when I am busy being cold/standoffish towards them. I kind of miss my old system pre-MGTOW, where I was happy and friendly with all. But then again, I was a beta at that point, and I’d do tons to please these girls….so I don’t want to go back there.

Can anyone share with me how they deal with a) new females they don’t know and b) female friends they already have?

Maybe the answer is simple: smile, greet, and say Hi to everyone, but don’t let any girl get “close” to me i.e. don’t share personal information/what’s going on in my life like I used to?

[Cap285Participant 6007]

I am not friends with them. At work it’s 100% professional.

Fuck this planet.

[DDJParticipant 1880]

I have three relationship rules:

1. Never where you work.
2. Never close to where you live
3. Never where you attend college.

After that then the usual relationship rules apply…i.e. is she crazy…etc.

Every woman is a slut, if you catch her on the right day.

[rebelandboltmanParticipant 640]

Try to keep it professional but friendly if possible, unless they are highly confrontational. If they are, do not engage. Just give her a blank stare, turn around and walk away. Or you can wait until they walk away.

[Anonymous 3]

Nothing wrong with being kind and friendly. Just always be aware of one thing: Being friendly does not equate to being an actual friend.

First thing to think about is, do they enrich your life in any way, or are they just energy leeches? If they are only taking from you, do they display enough gratitude and give thanks? A lot of times, women would end up taking ungratefully, without ever giving anything back. You have to determine who these people really are, and where they stand. Are they really your friends, or merely just people that you are friendly to, or people that you don’t want to associate with at all?

Some questions to think about.

[MadScientistParticipant 131]

Being actual friends with a woman in today’s climate probably requires either (a) age. i.e. you are an older guy that isn’t on their mating table or(b) an incredible amount of self actualization… or perhaps (c) both.

I agree with Tungus Khan.. being friendly doesn’t equate with being ‘friends’. AND FYI as far as work goes, not s~~~ting where you eat is a very good policy. I never, ever date woman who I work with, end of. Doesn’t matter how good the woman seems to be.. nada. And I have had literally zero drama. I am friendly and helpful, in the same ways I would be with a male co worker. Long term, that has actually gotten me defended from bulls~~~ by some of those women, so it can payoff.

However, Padawan, if you are fresh out of the gate.. I would be really careful. You may not yet have dug deep enough into your own head to deactivate some of your tendencies, and so you might think you are being ‘friendly’ when in reality you are being ‘FRIENDLY’. Oops.

Take careful steps, and I wouldn’t be standoffish.. just be professional, and neutral, and smile. That should work for you, I would think.

See the thing is, if you disengage heavily, they will think you HATE them, or hate women in general. And you don’t want that drama behind your back.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

1) Females at Work – I’m self employed and all of my client contacts are now long distance so I don’t have to worry about interacting with females at work any more, but if I did, I would be sure to keep it 100% business. The days of hooking up in the office are just over for me… particularly since I want to keep my career and my freedom.

2) Existing Female Friends – My closest friend is a female I’ve known since high school. Not only does our relationship pre-date 3rd Wave Feminism completely but we’ve also established over 30 years of mutual trust and support. So while in no way a NAWALT (she’s married and SEP) she and I at least have a solid, familial relationship. I have only kept one other female as a friend and she is a pretty unusual case herself which I won’t go into. Lasting friendships with females, for me at least, have only come after some period of sexual intimacy. You get that done and out of the way and maybe there could be some value to having a female around but usually not.

3) Making New Female Friends – Really? What is the point? Even though we may at times want to deny it to ourselves, the entire objective of social interaction with females is for the possibility of intimacy. When I meet a female who I am not physically attracted to but want to take camping or to a gun show or to enjoy a fine meal with (split check, of course), I’ll eat those words for dessert.

So yeah, basically keep it strictly business, flirt a bit to get better service or to stroke your ego if you must, but pretty much leave them alone unless you want to take the risks required to try to get one into bed. I’ll leave it to the PUAs to advise you as to the best strategies for that.

[MadScientistParticipant 131]

Hmm.. I have to disagree that men can’t be actual friends with women. Its rare and very difficult though.. in my case, I live in an area with a pretty active Art and Science subculture that attracts the oddb~~~~ which break some of the molds, so there is that chance here. Plus, I tried it as an experiment.

I will say though, it takes a s~~~ ton of experience (aka Age), or to have been brought up in a different culture. I didn’t have any actual female friends until after 40. And even now, its exactly three. The rest are not ‘Friends’ but they are ‘friends’.. aka, a bit better than acquaintances. And no, I don’t fix their s~~~ for free, or do them favors, unless there is reciprocation.

And no, I have not f~~~ed all of them (only one, and that ended 2 years ago).

So I think it is possible to get to know a woman as a friend, but you have to be firmly in the friendzone (or as the poster above noted, have a true familial relationship) for real (aka no special favors and you do NOT want their vagina), they have to be citified and educated, and in the right subculture, to feel comfortable doing that. And so do I. You wouldn’t catch me trying to make a friend out of a woman who was broke, poor and from Alabama. Nothing wrong with that, but I just don’t think that would fly for a lot of reasons.

What’s the point? Well, there are a few that are pretty fun to hang with just as people, and as long as you keep away from the vagina you are set. In addition, you can get intel like no other. That’s worth the price of admission for me, I have to say. Oh and if you DO want to keep dating women, as long as it is not a friend of THEIRS, they can provide you with social proof that is off the scale. I begged off on this, but for a couple of years there it was pretty interesting.

If you are not in my situation (over 35, in an area with active Art and Science subcultures, hooked in with the freaky groups) I wouldn’t even try, given the amount of social bulls~~~ out there.

I mean, that’s what we are constantly talking about here.. the prevalent norms that we are fighting. If you want to try something outside that, you have to find other people willing to do that.. and you generally won’t find that in Baton Rouge (but you might in Nawlins)..

So … I think MOST women cannot be friends with men. .yet. a FEW can, as evidenced by my experience, however.. you have to keep your MGTOW principles about you at all times.

[MadScientistParticipant 131]

Oh and by the way, 100% on DONT S~~~ WHERE YOU EAT. Hooking up at work is a serious no no, guys. Never ever ever ever do it. I did once.. a looooong time ago. VERY BAD. RESULT.

If you don’t trust yourself at the office christmas party with all those hotties crawling up your leg asking for it, then just get ‘sick’ and don’t attend.

You will thank us all later for telling you this 🙂

[Cap285Participant 6007]

MadScientist wrote:

See the thing is, if you disengage heavily, they will think you HATE them, or hate women in general.

Indeed. However, women will never look inward. It’s always us that have ‘problems’.

And you don’t want that drama behind your back.

I disagree. If you’re not interacting with them, they can do nothing.

If one of the dumb ankles at work decides to start another sexual harassment suit, they’ve got noting on me. Noting. I don’t look at them, I don’t talk to them and everybody knows. Not guilty. Next.

Fuck this planet.

[Anonymous 11]

I only have one female friend who truly reciprocates the friendship. I jettisoned the others exactly a year ago when I went MGHOW w/o even knowing about MGTOW.

I am not averse to having a friend level relationship with a woman, but if one f~~~s up in any way, shape or form even just once. She’s gone.

I will not orbit, white knight, or be her emotional tampon. I hold her to the exact same standard I would a male friend. They want equality so I’m giving it. I don’t find many takers with those simple conditions. It says more about them than me.

Over the years, I’ve found they generally make very poor friends. They can’t even be genuine friends among themselves so why should it be different with us.

[OldBillParticipant]

Oneforfreedom wrote:

Maybe the answer is simple: smile, greet, and say Hi to everyone, but don’t let any girl get “close” to me i.e. don’t share personal information/what’s going on in my life like I used to?

Oneforfreedom – The part of your post that I quoted is most likely your best option. It’s very close to how I handle myself day-to-day. (Great topic by the way!)

As Tungus Khan wisely pointed out; you can be friendly without being friends. My behavior towards women is always terse, factual, and polite.

In social versus business situations, that behavior changes as a matter of degree and not kind. In a social situation, for example, I’ll be more inclined to make small talk. However, I never volunteer personal information and – this is extremely important – I quickly stop people from sharing personal information with me. If you stop then from telling you about their lives, they won’t be upset when you don’t share yours.

There’s something about me – my face, demeanor, something – which makes both women and men share too much with me during our conversations. I don’t why it happens and other people have remarked on it. While the both sexes do it, women are especially prone to it thanks to their self-centered natures. When some vapid c~~~ starts regaling me with the mind numbing details of her moronic private life, I hold my hand up, interrupt her, and say “That’s very personal and I’m uncomfortable hearing it. Please don’t tell me anymore” They get the point most of the time and, when they don’t, I excuse myself and walk away.

Summing this all up:

Women in business: Terse, factual, and polite.
Women in public: Terse, factual, and polite.
Women in social situations: Not as terse, factual, and polite.
Women as friends: I have none. I have a few acquaintances, a few I share certain activities, and a few I f~~~. None are friends.
Women who “approach”: Be polite, but also firmly dismissive. Do not engage and brook no attempts at creating any familiarity or social obligation.

Keep women at arm’s length. Engage with them as little as possible while also remaining polite. Set your terms and stick to them.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[RoyDalParticipant]

OldBill wrote:

Women in business: Terse, factual, and polite.
Women in public: Terse, factual, and polite.
Women in social situations: Not as terse, factual, and polite.
Women as friends: I have none. I have a few acquaintances, a few I share certain activities, and a few I f~~~. None are friends.
Women who “approach”: Be polite, but also firmly dismissive. Do not engage and brook no attempts at creating any familiarity or social obligation.

DDJ wrote:

1. Never where you work.
2. Never close to where you live
3. Never where you attend college.

The above is my policy too. I’ve had women “friends” turn on me in the blink of an eye. If you are at work or in college, then they have enormous leverage to make your life hell or ruin it altogether. Even in social settings, they persist in probing for weakness and vulnerability to store up for later attacks. The only way I’ve found is to stay detached.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Anonymous 42]

Oneforfreedom wrote:

Can anyone share with me how they deal with a) new females they don’t know and b) female friends they already have?

If you treat females like royalty they’ll dismiss you as a sap! If you treat them rotten they’ll plot against you and spread rumors. My attitude is; I simply do not care! Their emotional creatures in every way, why not have them like you for being honest and having an opinion, and not kissing their asses as so many other men already do. Treat them like humans, but never kiss their ass!

[HuevonParticipant 68]

@oneforfreedom In the begining I did it like you do. I didn’t look at them, make sure I don’t make them get interested in me.
But in the end it’s very easy to make them loose interest.
All you have to do is get rid of that well paying job, stop buying new cloth, do whatever you really enjoy. For example I work in the garden a lot, or I work on my car. Back in the days I used to change my dirty working-cloths before I went to the supermarket. I stopped doing so.
When I walk around now, I am almost invisible for them. They think I’m some lower class poor guy. No good genes for mating, no money to spend. It’s perfect.
Girls that I’m already friend with were introduced to my MGTOW thoughts, and I tried to have deep discussions about society with them. They also lost interest in me. If you mentions some of their behaviour jokingly, they giggle. But if you call them out on it, it’s unpleasant for them. It’s like throwing a cat into water. That cat will stay away.
So basically: I put no efford whatsoever in women, and it works. Just think back at the times, when you were still after them. We had to work hard to get a women’s attention. It’s way easier to get rid of a pussy, then to make her fall for you.

[SkeptiskParticipant 3679]

For your topic I thought the best advice would be to make them park you into the ‘friendzone’. Just turn all the advice of getting OUT of the friendzone and reverse the steps. If you have to put on an act to look like somebody they’d stay away from, get some acting lessons. It’s all in your atttitude, they love to ‘fix’ things (read: bad boys). So, put on a super-friendly face that would make them puke. Be geeky, and talk a LOT about technical stuff you’re interested in, and DON’T stop when they ask you to stop. Just keep going on and drone on, and soon they’ll flee from the very sight of you. But don’t be rude, just over-the-top geek.

"Expecting to find a decent woman on a dating site is like dumpster diving and expecting to come out with a gourmet meal." Won'tGetFooledAgain

[LowKeyParticipant 702]

I dont close off myself from them totally as in my honest opinion “Isolation is dangerous”

Dont Isolate yourself, makes you an easy target for them

I let them talk to me if not then we go our separate ways and I proceed to do my own thing.

Oneforfreedom wrote:

Maybe the answer is simple: smile, greet, and say Hi to everyone, but don’t let any girl get “close” to me i.e. don’t share personal information/what’s going on in my life like I used to?

This,

you might actually had it (answer) in you all this tim

Cheers

LK~

Don't let defeat, defeat you; Let defeat be your greatest teacher.

[RennieParticipant]

No friends with women.

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

Cap285 wrote:

I am not friends with them. At work it’s 100% professional.

The only way to do things.

Unfortunately for me, most of the women at work are too f~~~ing dumb to differentiate between indifference with understanding. If I say everything’s OK and I’ll take care of it, I’m not being nice, I’m telling you to f~~~ off so I can take care of your incompetence and get on with the rest of my day.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

Oneforfreedom wrote:

So after having gone MGTOW 3 months ago, I have the following policies in place regarding females:
Strange/Unknown females: Do not engage in conversation. Respond to all interests with one word answers. Do not make eye contact. Move away if one sits/comes near you. Disengage, Disengage, Disengage.
Female friends from before I went MGTOW: Treat them coldly. Do not share personal life details with them like I used to before I went MGTOW. Ignore most of the time.
That said, I’m beginning to see that there are some negative repercussions to giving this cold shoulder to females….most significantly, I have found that I am not happy when I am busy being cold/standoffish towards them. I kind of miss my old system pre-MGTOW, where I was happy and friendly with all. But then again, I was a beta at that point, and I’d do tons to please these girls….so I don’t want to go back there.
Can anyone share with me how they deal with a) new females they don’t know and b) female friends they already have?
Maybe the answer is simple: smile, greet, and say Hi to everyone, but don’t let any girl get “close” to me i.e. don’t share personal information/what’s going on in my life like I used to?

Is there even the slightest chance that you want to f~~~ them? If so don’t become friends.

Regardless, don’t be a chump.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[Author]

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