Advice please

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

Hey guys,

I would like your advice. I have a newborn (1 1/2 weeks now) by a friend from school who I hadn’t seen since she was 14. (That was 23 years ago.)

We’re not compatible at all. We got together in January, she ended it in May, got together again in July, and she ended again in October. She’s been through the mill – rape at 15, whole bad history with her mum being violent and abusive, then over 50 partners in 10 years, and now 3 kids by 3 dads. I’ve been through a 10 year abusive marriage and lost my other kids and had to move countries due to the ex stalking me and hitting herself and saying the bruising was me.

That’s the shortest I can write it up. The question is about being on the birth certificate for the new baby. I love my kids, I always will, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to be put on the birth certificate, because the moment I sign that thing, I’m her payroll for 18 years.

Can I have your opinions please?

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

What are your reasons in favor of being on the birth certificate?

my opinion, is………….. don’t be on the certificate if possible.
Good Luck pal

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[BeeParticipant 700]

Go off the grid and disappear.

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

I can’t think of any good reasons for being on the birth certificate! I know I’m the dad. The baby’s mum knows I’m the dad. The baby will know I’m the dad. The only benefit is that I get to declared that formally to the government.

Disadvantages are pretty obvious – I am on the hook for child support, at any time for at least 18 years. And if the laws change in that time to favour women even more, then I’m legally up for that too. My views here look simplistic, but I’m pretty well thought out, I just haven’t bothered to write everything else down here.

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to save the relationship like she is – she wants me to return to her at Easter when her birth hormones aren’t all over the place, but I’ve already given her two chances, and I gave her massively clear warnings that if she ended it again, it was OVER. So it’s over. I’m unplugging from the drama, I’m unplugging from the manipulation, and this site has been invaluable for that even in the short amount of time I’ve been on it.

It’s apparently easy to add the father at a later date (to the birth certificate), but it is impossible to take me off again!

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

Quietlyquietly wrote:

I can’t think of any good reasons for being on the birth certificate! I know I’m the dad. The baby’s mum knows I’m the dad. The baby will know I’m the dad. The only benefit is that I get to declared that formally to the government.

Disadvantages are pretty obvious – I am on the hook for child support, at any time for at least 18 years. And if the laws change in that time to favour women even more, then I’m legally up for that too. My views here look simplistic, but I’m pretty well thought out, I just haven’t bothered to write everything else down here.

is it your choice or the mother’s choice whether or not your name is on the certificate?

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

is it your choice or the mother’s choice whether or not your name is on the certificate?

[/quote]

As far as I am aware, I do get a choice to be on the birth certificate or not.

[UntamedParticipant]

You answered your own question.

Quietlyquietly wrote:

… I don’t think it’s a good idea to be put on the birth certificate, because the moment I sign that thing, I’m her payroll for 18 years.

If I understand your post correctly you knew this weemin from way back and just had a kid with her now?
Getting back with her was a mistake, let alone allowing her to trap your seed which she can now use to hound you to Kingdom Come.
In an ideal world, you should sign the birth certificate and take responsibi-blah-blah-blah but this isn’t an ideal world, it’s more like Hell come to Earth to subjugate, sheer then cull the herd. You’d be signing your life away, litterally, for a kid that wouldn’t really be yours anyway.
I have three children, but I see none now when I look around.
I really hate to give this advise but I must. Don’t sign. Never sign unless it’s under duress.
Run, Forrest! RUN!!

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[narwhalParticipant]

I don’t know that the birth certificate will make much difference, unless you’re somehow trying to get out of having any financial responsibility or ever seeing the child. Even then, I doubt it would make a difference, but laws very by location, and who knows what kind of judge you’ll get.

If you want to try and get some sort of custody of the child, then getting your name on the birth certificate can only help. I think you may be kind of screwed here because of the custody issues with your previous marriage and kids.

I don’t think there is any good solution to your predicament. Do you make enough money to provide decent child support for your 3 children? I think a father needs to do what’s best for his kids. To be in their lives if you can, and provide financially. However, their mother’s and the state won’t let that happen in many cases. I don’t know if you should claim to be the Dad or hope that the state provides financially, and mom’s get their act together somehow. Only thing I can say is, I would avoid all sex for a long long…long time if I were you.

Ok. Then do it.

[Anonymous 0]

Not to sound rude but you sound like a mangina. Also going by what you wrote I don’t think you really love freedom or yourself.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

I feel I should ask this: how do you know you’re the dad?

If the answer isn’t “I got it paternity tested,” then you should already know the answer to what you should do.

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

Anonymous wrote:

Not to sound rude but you sound like a mangina. Also going by what you wrote I don’t think you really love freedom or yourself.

Fair comment – I’m new to MGTOW, and I’m finding my way. It tends to be the events that are stressful that really test how far we’ve come. But further explanation of what you mean is always helpful.

Rockmaninoff wrote:

I feel I should ask this: how do you know you’re the dad?

If the answer isn’t “I got it paternity tested,” then you should already know the answer to what you should do.

I know I’m the dad. I have enough certainty in myself to know that. I was living with her, she wasn’t sleeping around.

narwhal wrote:

I don’t know that the birth certificate will make much difference, unless you’re somehow trying to get out of having any financial responsibility or ever seeing the child. Even then, I doubt it would make a difference, but laws very by location, and who knows what kind of judge you’ll get.

If you want to try and get some sort of custody of the child, then getting your name on the birth certificate can only help. I think you may be kind of screwed here because of the custody issues with your previous marriage and kids.

I don’t think there is any good solution to your predicament. Do you make enough money to provide decent child support for your 3 children? I think a father needs to do what’s best for his kids. To be in their lives if you can, and provide financially. However, their mother’s and the state won’t let that happen in many cases. I don’t know if you should claim to be the Dad or hope that the state provides financially, and mom’s get their act together somehow. Only thing I can say is, I would avoid all sex for a long long…long time if I were you.

I don’t want custody. I don’t want a child. I don’t want to be hampered. I don’t want a relationship. Otherwise I would not be here, and we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

[Biggvs_DickvsParticipant 3725]

Quietlyquietly wrote:

I don’t want custody. I don’t want a child. I don’t want to be hampered. I don’t want a relationship. Otherwise I would not be here, and we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

Doesn’t matter dude. That poor kid didn’t ask to be born into this situation, but here he/she is.

That first six months of bonding time is critical. Like imprinting in birds. My daughter and I are very close, enjoy each other’s company, and respect each other’s opinions and I chalk a huge part of that up to taking care of her for the first year. (and the years since too)

As for the birth certificate, I’m no a lawyer but I don’t think it matters that much. If she decides to come after you for child support the court will order a paternity test and that will be that. The way I understand it is, the only thing not signing the birth certificate does is, in some states, give you the right to challenge paternity if you think the kid might not be yours. I think in some states, if you sign the BC you’re acknowledging that it’s your kid and they won’t let you challenge paternity.

Above all: GET YOURSELF A LAWYER.

Let me say that again: GO TALK TO A LAWYER.

A Male lawyer preferably. And more than one. When my kid was due, I talked to about 8 different lawyers. You can just show up at their office and talk to them, tell them your story, and then see what they say, and what they claim they can do for you.

Keep this in mind: Regardless of whether or you’re on the birth certificate, if that’s your kid, YOU ARE ON THE HOOK for 18 years of support. Even if you don’t pay it now, she or the state, or both can still come after you YEARS after the kid turns 18 and demand all back support that is due plus interest.

I live in Washington state so YMMV. Above all, GO SEE A LAWYER and ask your questions. You’re a total fool if you don’t. Only a family lawyer knows the case law and how it’s affecting outcomes in your local court environment. They can help you, and everything you tell them by law is completely confidential and inadmissible in court.

"Data, I would be delighted to offer any advice I can on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know." --Captain Picard,

[Anonymous 0]

Read these these books in the order I write them

1) How I found freedom in an unfree world by Harry Browne

2) Why Government doesn’t work by Harry Browne

3) The manipulated man by Esther Viliar

4) Models attract women through honesty by Mark Manson

I think these books will help you out a lot.

[Anonymous 0]

Insist on a paternity test at all costs.

If she gets around that much, you don’t know for sure.

Oh and get it sniped.

And don’t tell anyone. I bet sometime in the future you will be named as the father by some gold digger. At least then you can have some fun in court when you spring the surprise on her and her lawyer.
I did at 28 years old and have never regretted it.

[Anonymous 42]

Quietlyquietly wrote:

I know I’m the dad. I have enough certainty in myself to know that. I was living with her, she wasn’t sleeping around.

Don’t believe a damn thing until you have scientific PROOF! Boy, won’t you feel like a fool it the test came back negative!
Unless you were on a “SMALL” deserted island somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, you can’t know jack s~~~!
Many a men have f~~~ed themselves good and proper with what they thought was the truth!

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Oh and get it sniped.

Agreed there is no excuse these days. It’s virtually pain free with no needle no scalpel vasectomy. Add condom to the mix and you’re pretty much safe.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[Author]

Posts