Absolute despair

[MutineerParticipant 1467]

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to justify my existence. I regularly have suicidal thoughts which i try to block out but for the last week i’ve had them consistently. I’m neck deep in s~~~ and i can’t find a way out.

My problems are largely, if not entirely, of my own making and i can’t blame a woman for this. Although, i’ve had my share of being wronged by them. At some point i gave up fighting and allowed my self and my life to be shaped by toxic people and events. I despise myself and the life i’m leading and i don’t know where to start repairing the damage i’ve done. It’s as if i’ve sprung a leak but i’m only responding now that the boat is capsizing.

I believe there is some truth to the phrase “no man is an island”. Clearly, a woman isn’t the answer but everyone needs a helping hand sometime. Even if it’s just a well intentioned arse kicking. I literally have no one other than my toxic family who only compound my misery. I managed to get a way from them but had a breakdown and then ended up back in their clutches.

Part of me wants to live on and to be ‘sovereign’ but i can’t imagine having a tolerable life from where i am at the moment.

Any advice?

"The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage." - Thucydides

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

I feel you’re in the same boat as me, I’m going to guess you have no kids?

Men like you and I don’t have a stake in society; no kids, no wife, hardly any land ownership, etc.

It’s hard waking up daily and dragging your ass into work every day, I do it, but I don’t want to.

Unfortunately I have no solutions to this problem, I do know one thing though;
Life has ebbs and flows – You will have good/bad days.
One always thinks it can’t get brighter when they’re low.
And when you’re high it feels like nothing can bring you down

I know the suicidal thoughts, although I may be too much of a coward to go through with it, on top of the esoteric thoughts that I would just have to come back here and re-work all my previously completed work

I can tell you that these thoughts are in my past (for now), hence the ebbs and flows.
I am now going upwards, which feels good…Small things going my way, and all that s~~~ usually helps

I would never think suicide is an answer, but I’m not naive enough to think what works for one will work for all

Stay strong brother, you have many friends here that you don’t even know yet
We’re stronger together and need you.

Keep your chin up, life is currently f~~~ed and doesn’t appear to be improving anytime soon.

Let me put it this way though; you have front row tickets to one of the most bizarre times in all of history, some times it’s best to just put your feet up, grab some popcorn, and laugh at all the people running around with their ignorance held high.

[It’sallbsParticipant]

Sometimes you just need a friend but the trouble is the world makes many people isolated and you can’t trust the manginas at work.

I find going for walks in the countryside (particularly if it is a sunny day) helps make me feel better.

What exactly is the problem/s brother?

http://www.leavemeansleave.eu

[It’sallbsParticipant]

Sometimes you just need a friend but the trouble is the world makes many people isolated and you can’t trust the manginas at work.

I find going for walks in the countryside (particularly if it is a sunny day) helps make me feel better.

What exactly is the problem/s brother?

thisistheguy123 wrote:

I feel you’re in the same boat as me, I’m going to guess you have no kids?

Men like you and I don’t have a stake in society; no kids, no wife, hardly any land ownership, etc.

It’s hard waking up daily and dragging your ass into work every day, I do it, but I don’t want to.

Unfortunately I have no solutions to this problem, I do know one thing though;
Life has ebbs and flows – You will have good/bad days.
One always thinks it can’t get brighter when they’re low.
And when you’re high it feels like nothing can bring you down

I know the suicidal thoughts, although I may be too much of a coward to go through with it, on top of the esoteric thoughts that I would just have to come back here and re-work all my previously completed work

I can tell you that these thoughts are in my past (for now), hence the ebbs and flows.
I am now going upwards, which feels good…Small things going my way, and all that s~~~ usually helps

I would never think suicide is an answer, but I’m not naive enough to think what works for one will work for all

Stay strong brother, you have many friends here that you don’t even know yet
We’re stronger together and need you.

Keep your chin up, life is currently f~~~ed and doesn’t appear to be improving anytime soon.

Let me put it this way though; you have front row tickets to one of the most bizarre times in all of history, some times it’s best to just put your feet up, grab some popcorn, and laugh at all the people running around with their ignorance held high.

It’s worth staying alive just to see how s~~~ plays out over the next 2 to 5 years. We all have our different theories all of which have their own truths and merit, I would say.

WW3, I don’t think so some kind of conflict and another cold war probably.

Any war will be fought in Europe.

http://www.leavemeansleave.eu

[thisistheguy123Participant 2063]

It’sallbs wrote:

Sometimes you just need a friend but the trouble is the world makes many people isolated and you can’t trust the manginas at work.

I find going for walks in the countryside (particularly if it is a sunny day) helps make me feel better.

What exactly is the problem/s brother?

thisistheguy123 wrote:

I feel you’re in the same boat as me, I’m going to guess you have no kids?

Men like you and I don’t have a stake in society; no kids, no wife, hardly any land ownership, etc.

It’s hard waking up daily and dragging your ass into work every day, I do it, but I don’t want to.

Unfortunately I have no solutions to this problem, I do know one thing though;
Life has ebbs and flows – You will have good/bad days.
One always thinks it can’t get brighter when they’re low.
And when you’re high it feels like nothing can bring you down

I know the suicidal thoughts, although I may be too much of a coward to go through with it, on top of the esoteric thoughts that I would just have to come back here and re-work all my previously completed work

I can tell you that these thoughts are in my past (for now), hence the ebbs and flows.
I am now going upwards, which feels good…Small things going my way, and all that s~~~ usually helps

I would never think suicide is an answer, but I’m not naive enough to think what works for one will work for all

Stay strong brother, you have many friends here that you don’t even know yet
We’re stronger together and need you.

Keep your chin up, life is currently f~~~ed and doesn’t appear to be improving anytime soon.

Let me put it this way though; you have front row tickets to one of the most bizarre times in all of history, some times it’s best to just put your feet up, grab some popcorn, and laugh at all the people running around with their ignorance held high.

It’s worth staying alive just to see how s~~~ plays out over the next 2 to 5 years. We all have our different theories all of which have their own truths and merit, I would say.

WW3, I don’t think so some kind of conflict and another cold war probably.

Any war will be fought in Europe.

I suppose, but to a lot of people the current way of the world is VERY depressing, and I can totally understand this.

I’m fortunate enough to have enough experience to be able to laugh it off, others don’t have said experience and internalize it which creates a lot of stress

The one thing I keep telling people; I really have no idea why so many take life so seriously

…I’ve seen people stress out over such insignificant things, as if in 50+ years any of that will matter

Time to stop giving a f~~~ and enjoy what life has to offer

In 20+ years we will no longer be able to live at our current high consuming lifestyles barring some great invention and/or free energy.

[AutoliteParticipant]

Mutineer wrote:

I literally have no one other than my toxic family who only compound my misery. I managed to get a way from them but had a breakdown and then ended up back in their clutches.

My adoptive family, the family that I was raised in, were highly ‘toxic’ and I had to cut them completely out of my life entirely many years ago and I never looked back.

I have ties with my biological family but I haven’t seen any of them in over 12 years.

The reason that I’m telling you this is that there are others who have had to break family ties and their lives go on. You are not alone in this respect and I think that, with time, you’ll find that the things will not seem as bad as they do right now.

Chin up Bro! It gets better with time. You can trust me on this as I’ve been there too. You’ve just got to hang in there and take it one day at a time.

If it’s at all possible, GET A DOG. I’m deadly very f~~~ing serious about this. A loyal dog is absolutely the best remedy for what you’re currently dealing with…

[AwakenedParticipant 35201]

Depression or whatever medical mental health condition that may be plaguing you is SERIOUS !!

It’s not about “manning up”, or anything else except improving your mental health.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[MGTOW KnightParticipant 7477]

Autolite wrote:

If it’s at all possible, GET A DOG. I’m deadly very f~~~ing serious about this. A loyal dog is absolutely the best remedy for what you’re currently dealing with…

I can completely attest to this. My buddy, Tank, has helped me keep my head held high. There is a reason why they are man’s best friend.

Fuck bitches... literally and metaphorically

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

Bro I’ve suffered from depression for years. Been taking Wellbutrin and it’s much better. F~~~ anyone who says “it’s all in my head” – “man up” – it’s a medical condition for many. Would you tell a diabetic it’s all in his head? Let us know more as time passes. We’re a brotherhood here – unlike a sisterhood – we stick together.

[joetechParticipant]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. To find your escape you’ll have to persevere and look for ways and means to accomplish your goals. Inner strength isn’t something one can teach. I, too have had those thoughts at many points in my life, but I’m too pigheaded and stubborn to give in to them. Leaving behind a support system that is more toxic than helpful is a hard thing to do, but life seems to have a way of turning us around just when we think all is lost. God makes miracles all the time, and one never knows what is just around the corner. Never give up on yourself, and don’t be a doormat for others. We’re here for you.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[MACHOParticipant]

joetech wrote:

Leaving behind a support system that is more toxic than helpful is a hard thing to do, but life seems to have a way of turning us around just when we think all is lost. God makes miracles all the time, and one never knows what is just around the corner. Never give up on yourself, and don’t be a doormat for others. We’re here for you.

The more punishing a situation is, the more rewarding and empowering your overcoming it will be. Life is cruel and is not for the weaklings, either we find within the courage to surmount the obstacles or it destroys us.

“In 2014, the rate was 20.7 suicides per 100,000 men, compared with 5.8 per 100,000 women. However, there was a 45% increase in the suicide rate in women between 1999 and 2014, whereas the increase among men during that period was 16%.Apr 22, 2016”

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[MutineerParticipant 1467]

It’sallbs wrote:

What exactly is the problem/s brother?

My problems run deep but the most pressing issue is that i’m unemployed and back living with abusive family at the age of 30. I recently had an interview for a job as a stockroom assistant and there were 96 applicants. I was lucky to even get to the interview stage. There are gaps in my employment history due to my mental health and i cannot easily explain these away.

I used to think having a family of my own would give my life meaning. I had a horrific childhood and it was important to me to right that wrong by having my own kids and giving them a stable upbringing. As such, i neglected my career and put my energies into dating and relationships. In the end i have absolutely nothing to show for my life.

First see A Dr and get in welbutrin for depression.

I am A God on the s~~~ for nearly 20 years.

Start there.

Get it done.

Listen to me.

I would try welbutrin but i’m in the UK and it’ not available on the NHS. I looked into acquiring it privately but i can’t afford it. The medication i’ve been on the past has only caused harm and i’m afraid to see another mental health professional. If i tell them how i’m feeling i’ll end up back in the funny farm.

"The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage." - Thucydides

[MACHOParticipant]

Ultimately the answers to your recovery are within your own head & heart! no one else knows better than yourself what is in your mind, knows what you are willing or unwilling to do to get better! Though decisions will have to be made!

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[MutineerParticipant 1467]

I know what i have to do but i’m procrastinating as usual.

"The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage." - Thucydides

[It’sallbsParticipant]

Mutineer wrote:

It’sallbs wrote:

What exactly is the problem/s brother?

My problems run deep but the most pressing issue is that i’m unemployed and back living with abusive family at the age of 30. I recently had an interview for a job as a stockroom assistant and there were 96 applicants. I was lucky to even get to the interview stage. There are gaps in my employment history due to my mental health and i cannot easily explain these away.

I used to think having a family of my own would give my life meaning. I had a horrific childhood and it was important to me to right that wrong by having my own kids and giving them a stable upbringing. As such, i neglected my career and put my energies into dating and relationships. In the end i have absolutely nothing to show for my life.

DainBramage wrote:

First see A Dr and get in welbutrin for depression.

I am A God on the s~~~ for nearly 20 years.

Start there.

Get it done.

Listen to me.

I would try welbutrin but i’m in the UK and it’ not available on the NHS. I looked into acquiring it privately but i can’t afford it. The medication i’ve been on the past has only caused harm and i’m afraid to see another mental health professional. If i tell them how i’m feeling i’ll end up back in the funny farm.

Well I am in uK an dout fo work so I can empathise with that part of your situation

The hoops you have to jump through to get a job does my head in as well thats when I go for long walks.

My cv is full fgaps thanks to a hole manginas etc -you know what fcukin lie because I tell you one thing employers lie through their teeth and tehy dont treat you farely.

You see I dont see depression as a mental heat issue I see it asa normal recation to grossly tough unfair s~~~ situatiosn people find themselevs in

http://www.leavemeansleave.eu

[MACHOParticipant]

Life always moves forward and ruthlessly test us all, we may procrastinate as much as we want but eventually it corners us, checkmates us. Some guys know that they will lose because they are unwilling to make the tough decisions. Once we know what to do to get better our fate rests in our hands. The rest is just wasting time hoping things will somehow get better by themselves or someone will come to rescue us, it won’t happen.

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I have also had a few VERY – VERY – dark days, with more despair than that which you describe….. and on those days, I remind myself that I can’t fall off the floor. For some reason, things start looking better immediately, and sure enough the planets DID eventually align. Every time.

I don’t subscribe much to “faith” that things work themselves out, but that is something I TRULY believe. “My planets will align again”.

I wouldn’t recommend this video to you today – because it’s a tough red pill – but there is one video by Barbarossa that I have listened to (and shared ) more than all the others.

It makes you understand that society WANTS you to feel this way. It THRIVES on it and your insecurities. About what exactly? About being alone. About being “stuck”. About being a virgin. About not having a girlfriend. About not being muscular. About being bald, short, broke, etc. About not continuing to have sex when you’re no longer a virgin……

Mutineer wrote:

At some point i gave up fighting

…. and understanding this can inspire you to make sure “they” don’t win.

“Absolute despair” is exactly where “the system” wants you to be, and men are expected to EARN their own way out of worthlessness.

This society STIFLES the spirit of men, but only if you let it.

The biggest part of beating it, is not “fighting” and “beating” it, but a simple refusal to allow it to beat YOU.

I sincerely hope this helps.
“You can’t fall off the floor”.

If you quietly repeat it to yourself, it can even generate a smile when you need it the most.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[MACHOParticipant]

Keymaster wrote:

“Absolute despair” is exactly where “the system” wants you to be, and men are expected to EARN their own way out of worthlessness.
This society STIFLES the spirit of men, but only if you let it.

Don’t let those dark feelings destroy you, don’t give up on life and do what you already know has to be done, and the journey on this earth will continue for you and brighter days will be ahead. On this, good luck I got to get going ?

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[It’sallbsParticipant]

@ Mutineer

Now I may be telling you what you already know but my thoughts on finding another job…

1) Rewrite your CV FROM SCARTCH for every job you apply to. match it to the advert. Do not include anything non relevant. If it is allow level job and you are at a higher level dumb down your cv.

2) Recruitment consultants li and advertise jobs that do not even exist. They advertise to collect talent pools. I know this for a fact having sold ATS software to them. So wherever possible apply direct to employers. The majority of ads from agencies are fake.

3) Don’t use a cv writing service. Imagine you are the product and your cv is your sales borchure. What can you do for the employer’s business. It is all about them.

4) Write about what you achieved not just what you did.

5) If you get the email saying you were not a good fit brush it off and ignore it and move on it is just a standard brush off they send to everyone.

Some genera advice:

1) Get up at 8am everyday, shower, go for a brisk walk for 1 hour and 1 hour back then spend all day on job search. Finish at 7pm and do what you do to relax. Do the same every day-have weekends off.

Yes it is tough but trust me that is the bets way to handle periods of unemployment. I went form 12 months out of work (i had lots of cash in bank fortunately) to a job paying £35,000 plus commission plus company car. So yes it’s difficult but the gaps can be dealt with -fcukin lie I did based on grain of truth.

If you want any guidance on cv writing cover letter writing let me know- its easy for us sale people as its the same as what we do everyday.

http://www.leavemeansleave.eu

[HitmanParticipant]

I will get on a plane and kick your ass dude!
I just don’t have the money to buy the tickets. .
Seriously, we all have had times like you described.
Do anything, and I mean anything except hurt yourself.
Do not give up on life. .you could hit the f~~~ing lottery one day.
Exercise, get drunk, wack off..
Read.
Shower.
Whatever works best just do it for yourself. .
F~~~ all the expectations you had.
If you have to just grab a night at a friends house and have a mini vacation.
You got to break the cycle. .
Post up frequently brother, we do care about you!

[Author]

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