A minor victory for me after attending court

[Once bitten twice shyParticipant 78]

Following on from my introduction a week or so back, I’ve now been to court to get access to my child following an incident where my ex decided to stop me seeing said child and disappeared for 16 days without letting me know what the hell was going on. Police not interested in helping in the slightest leaving me completely in limbo.

An urgent hearing was called and I had to endure my ex spouting off a load of lies in front of the magistrates, made my p~~~ boil listening to her lie so naturally. Claiming I’m intimidating and that I’m a liability because she has “sources that claim I’m still drinking” and she feels I’m going to endanger our child.

I knew this was coming as my solicitor luckily had a chat with my ex before we entered court and asked her why she stopped me seeing our child and she spouted off the “I’m afraid he’s drinking heavily around our child” line.

Little did I know they can test for alcohol via a hair strand test, similar to drugs tests. So as soon as my ex came out with that bulls~~~ my solicitor piped up and said that I’m happy to provide a strand test upto 20 months ago (when I quit alcohol, completely) My ex’s face dropped. Lying whore, the only sources she has are the ones made up in her head. I only drank heavily in the past because I was so depressed being in that relationship. I soon sobered up and got out of it, never looking back.

I’ll even take a polygraph test although they don’t take that as legitimate evidence in cases relating to children.

Anyway in the end I got an order from the court, to see my child, with extra time and access in the interim period to make up for the missed time in the past few weeks. So it feels as if the courts saw through her bulls~~~ but who knows. A small victory, a single battle won, now comes war when we go back to court to finalise things. I can only wonder what else she’ll try and lie about…

[Anonymous 13]

Where have all the good men gone?

F~~~ OFF AND DIE YOU EVIL LYING F~~~ING PERJUROUS C~~~S.

Good luck man.

[ghostParticipant]

Once bitten twice shy wrote:

I’ll even take a polygraph test although they don’t take that as legitimate evidence in cases relating to children.

That makes ZERO f~~~ing sense.

Once bitten twice shy wrote:

Anyway in the end I got an order from the court, to see my child, with extra time and access in the interim period to make up for the missed time in the past few weeks. So it feels as if the courts saw through her bulls~~~ but who knows. A small victory, a single battle won, now comes war when we go back to court to finalise things. I can only wonder what else she’ll try and lie about…

I feel you man. I wish the best to you and hope you can get out of this meat grinder of a situation. Stay strong – we are all here for you. You WILL get through this. DO NOT GIVE IN and DO NOT GIVE UP. You OWE it to YOURSELF and to your KIDS.

[UntamedParticipant]

I’m so glad for you, bro!
I love the part when your lawyer said you’d be happy to provide a hair sample for testing. BOOM! IN HER FACE!
Now that the court is made aware that she’s a miserable liar maybe the next hearings will be in your favor.
I certainly hope you end up with full custody but unfortunately we don’t live in that kind of world. But equal time with the child is victory in itself.
Enjoy.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[Anonymous 42]

In the larger scheme of things your victory may seem insignificant but for me it puts a big smile on my face to see a man get a morsel of justice!

[Anonymous 43]

Big smile on my face! any little win is a BFD man

[HitmanParticipant]

you won this time.
please install an app on your phone to record texts.
i like sms backup app.
it stores all the texts between you and her,
no one else if you opt to choose only her.
.
do not have a voice conversation anymore with her.
she can lie and therefore only text.
.
be polite …those texts record you and her.
they go into your e-mail to be saved..
if / when she gets stupid ,
copy and forward the texts to your lawyer and have it spelled out clearly that she will be charged with harassment if it continues..
watch her change her tune after a couple of those..

.
let her know you are available at anytime to be with your child.
ultimately you can gain 50/50 parenting .
so you can have the kid half the time,
and get out of paying child support.
..i’m in the process right now.
this is my year brother,
make it your’s too !!!
i’m happy for you.
..
take the high road and don’t stoop to her level.

[AttonParticipant]

They all add up in the end.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[RemovedParticipant 4676]

Definitey worth celebrating with a coke and some wings and/or brats. Keep fighting for what is right and your natural given rights as a father. Never give up. You are an inspiration to men going through the same thing.

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

Glad for you.

Good luck.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[Xavier MaloryParticipant 65]

Congratulations on your victory! Cheers!

As for the polygraph, unfortunately they’ve been proven ineffective over and over. You can take classes to fool them. My ex once accused me of something atrocious and I went to a criminal attorney for advice. The polygraph came up, and he said, and I quote: “They are inadmissible in court, but the scare the hell out of the cops.”

I replied, “Waitaminute. If they’re not admissible, then why would they scare the police off?”

He said, “The police use scare tactics and shady practices to try and get a confession. You passing the polygraph shows you’re a cool and collected person (even if you are indeed a liar who tricked it) and you are much less likely to be bullied by them.”

You can look it up, but polygraphs are essentially useless in court. Its a dead science that was never truly correct or accurate in the first place.

The trouble with "Facts" and "Opinions" is the average idiot thinks they're synonyms.

[Once bitten twice shyParticipant 78]

Update:

Went back to court yesterday afternoon following the first urgent hearing, so the hearing yesterday was technically classed as the first one.

What a roller-coaster that was… Before the hearing both myself and my ex were interviewed by a governing body who act like social services but at court level. They are known as CAFCASS. Their existence is to ensure the child’s safety.

CAFCASS interviewed my ex first (even though I was the applicant) and interviewed me after. I was prepped on what to expect from my solicitor and was told to try and gauge whether they had spoken to my ex already, I couldn’t coerce it out of them so I went in blind. They asked me a set of generic questions asking me if I had any welfare concerns around my ex having contact with my child.

I was open and honest and stated that despite what I feel towards the mother as a person, I feel that she is fit to be a mother and I have no welfare concerns. Once that was established they informed me they had already spoken to her and that shes claimed I’m a liability to our child! She claims I have mental health problems, drink problems, I’m controlling towards her, etc. Knife driven into my back basically.

I was f~~~ing furious but tried my very best to not let it show. I was open and honest, explained things clearly and without prejudice. The case worker (woman) was a right jobs worth, every time I would defend the bollocks my ex had told them, she kept gas lighting me.

Anyway 45 minutes of my life spent to someone who knows nothing about me gets to dictate my future with my child. She wrote up a report which they submit to the court, stating they are massively concerned about me being with my child. Devastating, I felt sick all weekend, my solicitor read it and said she hadn’t seen a report like it, very biased and unfair, she said to expect the worst as the courts 99.99999999% of the time use that report as a guideline and will use it to cover their ass if any harm came about to children. She had her work cut out to say the least.

So after a nerve-racking weekend, I attend court with my solicitor in toe, my ex turns up late (again) and had the biggest smug look on her face, she knew she had f~~~ed me over (again) My solicitor approaches my ex and grills the f~~~ out of her to the point my ex complains to the usher that shes being aggressive and forcing answers out of her. So one of the court staff advise she is entitled to a duty solicitor appointed by the court. She accepts.

My solicitor tells the case worker who wrote the report that she feels its disgusting and draconian, again they weren’t having any of it.

Anyway after discussing worst case scenario with my solicitor, we are called into the court room. This time round its a different bench of judges. I’m feeling real f~~~ing nervous.

Everybody stands as the judges enter court, we then sit down. I’m behind my solicitor, my ex beside her and her duty solicitor. All introductions take place. My solicitor goes first and gives the best speech I’ve ever heard. She slams the social worker, slams my ex for not filing any of the relevant paperwork and defends me to the hills. States everything is allegation based on no substantiating evidence. Just lets rip. Even the clerk had to step in and calm her down a bit.

The case worker speaks next and gives the usual s~~~ of there is clearly a “toxic trio” of concern here. The drink, mental health and violence.

(I’m abstinent from drink, have no mental health issues (one off impulse suicide 21 months ago due to break down of relationship, cleared by GP now) and I’ve been “violent” once)

Then its my exes turn and shes spouting of the usual s~~~ women do to defend their actions.

The whole thing lasted about 15 minutes. The judges left the court room to discuss the outcome. About 15 minutes passes and the clerk announces to the case worker “Miss *******” you can leave the court room now if you wish. She looks puzzled and replies “I need to know the outcome so I can report on it” the Clerk agrees for her to stay.

My solicitor looks around at me and smiles and whispers “Thats a good sign” another 10 minutes or so passes and the Clerk asks if we can all attend court again next month. We all agree, solicitor looks around again and whispers “Thats very good news” another 20 minutes passes (I’m not exaggerating times here) and the judges re-enter the court.

They quiz my ex and her allegations, she crumbles and states that she feels I’m an amazing dad just that her friends have told her they’ve seen me out getting drunk. So the judges press for more info, there wasn’t anything. They quiz her about other things and my ex just kept shooting herself in the foot. They ask her whats changed since we attended mediation for her to suddenly have all these concerns, she couldn’t really answer.

The judges have a quick chat and proclaim:

We rule that no further intervention from CAFCASS is required (this never ever happens in 99.9999999999% of cases!!!!!) My exes allegations are unfounded and that the current court order is to be extended until the final hearing! They have ordered me to undertake a hair strand test to show that I haven’t consumed alcohol, which I have no issues about doing because I’m not a lying c~~~ (aka woman)

The look on my exes face was a picture. I watched her sulk out of court like a lost soul and thought to myself what did I ever see in you.

We often hear so many stories about court bias but if you fight and you are an honest person things will go your way as evidenced here.

[Xavier MaloryParticipant 65]

Dude, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! A small victory for all guys, but a damn big one for you!

It’s really nice to see a positive outcome once in a while. Cheers to you mate. Here’s hoping your ex decides to throw herself under a bus.

The trouble with "Facts" and "Opinions" is the average idiot thinks they're synonyms.

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

Things are slowly starting to change. They know there is something coming down the pipeline. Good on you for keeping your honor, and being your best.

You are not out of the woods yet. She is going to regroup, and you have to be ready. DO NOT let your Guard down. These accusations of hers shows that she is just a tick away from being mentally unfit. (I would argue all women since a majority will always be coerced to take the easy way out. )

Women do not like losing so be careful. Plan on the unexpected.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[MonkParticipant 16979]

Once bitten twice shy wrote:

We often hear so many stories about court bias but if you fight and you are an honest person things will go your way as evidenced here.

Don’t want to rain on your parade, but the truth is that you got lucky. As you said yourself, 99.9% of cases go the other way.

You’ve won a battle, but you HAVE NOT WON THE WAR. Don’t get complacent. The war goes on. Her hate will know no bounds.

She will now regroup. Prepare for more false allegations backed up by the hive.

Do not ever be alone with her. If you must see her, make sure it is supervised. Bodycam at all times. Record everything. Be wary of set-ups.

The war will go on until your child is of age.

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