A change

[PaulRevereParticipant 35]

So this evening marks my 7th day sober in a row. Something that I haven’t done in at least months. While I can’t say positively that I’m an alcoholic as I have easily gone days without drinking, I just happen to usually binge when I do usually on the weekends, making it harmful. I think I tend to drink more as I’m alone and/or am more addicted to the social aspect of it with friends.

I already feel more focus. A desire to make change is creeping in. but the Anger I had before I started drinking so much is still there, now more vivid than ever.

Last night was particularly tough, there was a party at the house I live in. I can’t stand my roommates. I live with 2 girls and a guy and am the only straight on in the house. It’s absolutely horrible. I did f~~~ the owner girls best friend for awhile, so thats a positive. But we have since stopped talking as I found out she more or less cheated. We weren’t dating, because she was moving, but we were exclusive if that makes sense..well obviously she lied and I cut it off. (not that she is the one that caused my drinking as it started before that)

It felt super great not acknowledging her at the party last night. I woke up in complete disbelief that I hadn’t opened a single beer and/or did some dumb s~~~ to get my roommates to shut the f~~~ up.

Anyway, I’m not entirely sure why I’m doing this now of all times. I think more than anything I wonder what I could do with my rage if I wasn’t suppressing it with alcohol on a regular basis. I feel like I’ve accomplished a fair amount of tasks this week..nothing too out of the ordinary, just less put off work for later..

Maybe just sharing on the off-chance it will help someone else out. Doing this cold turkey is not easy, there’s definitely an itch.

[FuckMeSpectator 215]

Yo Paul, YES your post helped me, I have been sober for years and I love it. Don’t know if you work out or bike, run, climb but those are very important man. Use candy at first, it has sugar in it and will help. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to brother…drink a lot of water and juice. Stay away from the bitches and as I am trying to do. You got this, you can do it if you really want it…I can’t think straight when I am drunk, high, or sniffing pussy…all of them destroy me. The last bad addiction I have to kick now is the smell of that vagina, she blew up my phone all day but what I really want is a nice blow job, without all the bitching, complaining, and scripting. Try getting some new friends too..Bubba

You think Chernobyl was bad? Wait until the ink drys on that marriage contract you just signed...we know, you just wanted sex and fun...you could have gotten that for $100.00 a couple times a month instead of DESTROYING your life!!!

[AwakenedMGHOWParticipant 100]

I rarely drink if at all. The times I do is every now and then on the weekends. It’s also less of an expense to cut out drinking. Unless you live somewhere near a cheaper country (or are in a cheaper country) such as Mexico, I’d rather buy booze there than in countries such as the U.S.

To help you get over the rage aspect of things, just learn to channel that energy into something positive. Go run, hike, lift weights, etc. At least doing something physical like that will keep your red pill rage to a minimum.

Any time I feel like raging because of red pills, I just usually end up going for a walk or something. Hell, listening to music helps also.

[hollowtipsParticipant 681]

Alcohol is just a tool to enslave you and make you feel complacent with where you are in life. While I can’t deny I love it, I only drink a couple days a month. If you didn’t drink and spent your time instead constructing ideas and acquiring skills you could quit your day job within a year.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Hey Paul,

Congrats on your first week sober man. That’s a great accomplishment!

PaulRevere wrote:

I woke up in complete disbelief that I hadn’t opened a single beer

This just gets better & better man, hells yeah.

Not sure if you’ve come around to any similar realizations, but i figured out, for myself, that i’m making far better progress on self-improvement without alcohol, than with it. As you said, putting off less s~~~ – progress doesn’t have to be huge/giant leaps forward, just in the right direction, day after day.

In the past i was always pretty introverted & uncomfortable in social situations. Unless i was drinking. Then i was the life of the party – so i thought. It hit me like a ton of bricks, a couple months after i stopped, i was at a dinner party with 2 good friends, and about 10 people i didn’t know. I chit-chatted & laughed with everyone at the table, and built some good acquaintanceships with the new people. 100% sober. I never thought i’d be able to do that! Now i do it all the f~~~ing time!

Drop a line soon man. In the forum or PM if you want to chat. Take it easy.

[PaulRevereParticipant 35]

I have no idea if this is related or not. but crazy nightmares the last two nights. An upcoming challenge will be the local beer week. I have never been much into liquor, but years since I’ve been out of the military I’ve always had a great time and too many good beers.

Lately, my focuses have been looking for a new job. I just need a change. Something more challening with more responsibility, where it actually feels like I’m doing something half way important.

[NomadgParticipant 249]

Alcohol and rage are a vicious cycle. They fuel each other. When you do not drink you get anxious and rage builds. When you drink it quells the anger, but that is only after a few drinks. Once you get a few in you the anger and rage come back with a vengeance. I can tell you from personal experience that the anxious feeling and rage do go away and that’s the good news. The bad news is that it can take months for this to occur. The only way it occurs is in the absence of alcohol. If you drink then the cycle starts all over. I know, I did it for years before I finally quit altogether. Sobriety is a solo journey my friend. It is about focusing on building a better you without alcohol. Trust me it gets better, a lot better.

It's never to late to be what you might have been...

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Hey @paulrevere, just checking in. Hope you’re doing well brother

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