3 year relationship and I'm as poor now as I was at the start

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Hollowtips

Home Forums Relations~~~s 3 year relationship and I'm as poor now as I was at the start

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by Crimson  Crimson 4 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #132234
    +3
    Hollowtips
    hollowtips
    Participant
    681

    Just dawned on me a week or two ago but I started dating the same person at 19, I’m now 22 and I realized the amount of money in my bank has increased by no amount since then. I’ve been working minimum wage type jobs while going to school but I’ve actually made no actual money. Yearly I’ve probably made 8-12 grand but none of it is in my bank, it’s all spent. I consistently won’t order food for lunch sometimes breakfasts and dinner just to save money at home but I’ll still go out for meals with her and she has no problem spending mine and her parents money.

    This relationship is keeping me in the poverty line, and I’m in a lease with her. Theirs no way out at this point. I wish I had found out about MGTOW years ago. My life has been slowed down and held back so much. I want to be able to travel and save money but I could never afford the type of traveling at this point that would meet her standards.

    #132238
    +3
    Soldier-Medic
    Soldier-Medic
    Participant
    2566

    Wait for the lease to run out, then walk out and don’t look back.

    "I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

    #132242
    +2
    22Deeboi
    22Deeboi
    Participant
    259

    Hey brother. Take this as a lesson. I also was in a LTR were I barely could save money. She too always wanted to go out. Especially the weekends. When I started to pull back and wanted to eat at home or her place she started getting hostile. I realized I was just a wallet to her. No matter what she said. Actions speak louder than words

    #132256
    MENGINEER
    MENGINEER
    Participant
    583

    gold digga

    Dump that baggage and save that $$$!

    #132262

    Anonymous
    18

    Theirs no way out at this point.

    No, far from it. Your freedom is temporarily on lease but it is still yours. When you get her pregnant with twins is when you have no way out.

    Keep your head down and let the time pass. Then bail.

    #132404
    +2
    Deus Ex Machina
    Deus Ex Machina
    Participant
    1068

    After i became single and got my divorce, I was able to save a s~~~ ton of money (eating at home, brown bagging a few lunches for work), When I was in a relationship?, it was always for dinners, going out constantly.

    You’re better of being single and being able to safe money as well. Trust me, in the long run it’s well worth it.

    "If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb

    #132421
    +1
    Ogre
    Ogre
    Participant
    5863

    Part of renting to unmarried couples is that they DO break up, and there might be a possibility in a high turnover area that they would rather have a new lease than your current one if damages might happen if you start fighting regularly. The other possibility is to just walk away if they don’t report to credit agencies. I’d check with the leasing office or check my online credit report to see if it’s been showing up. You also mentioned that her family picks up bills for her. The last option I’d take is to tell her after my stuff was all moved that it’s not working and you’re gone, mommy and daddy might just have to suck up the cost of teaching princess that she was the most specialest flower in the field of 3.5 Billion flowers.

    I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

    #132425
    ILiveAgain
    ILiveAgain
    Participant

    DON’T FK HER …. or ….. get the snip …. or wear 3 rubbers ….. & …. FLUSH THEM.

    Wait for lease to end then ….

    FOXTROT OSCAR

    When i was married and on 120k …. I HAD NOTHING OF MY OWN.

    NOTHING.

    Now Im on more than that and …. it’s all mine (and daughters future).

    Next month my 2 houses will be paid off.

    The way I see it ….. 1 ex relations~~~ = 1 house…… and she got the 3rd one.

    One simply can’t fathom the amout of money they drain ….. and I was so bluepill I thought I was a lucky guy ….. coz I got sex ….. but so did she ….. and also from another guy.

    Only when you sit down and go through the bank ….. you really see how much that vinegar stroke costs.

    #132840
    Huevon
    Huevon
    Participant
    68

    The best cure to paying your GFs way is just watch Marc Rudov.

    #133036
    +2
    LowKey
    LowKey
    Participant
    702

    Now that you found MGTOW, its still better than not finding out at all.

    Just be grateful that, you didnt get her pregnant or got married (hopefully not)

    Financially speaking on the other hand, of course she has NO problem spending other people’s money – thats called a parasite last I checked.

    Theres still a way, your 22 not 62.

    Don't let defeat, defeat you; Let defeat be your greatest teacher.

    #133088
    +1
    Dethklok
    Dethklok
    Participant
    153

    The money you are spending now is miniscule. You are learning a great lesson at a young age that will save you tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands. Some people at your age have already committed financial suicide by getting married and/or having a baby.

    Congrats on being one of the smart men.

    #133213
    +1
    Crimson
    Crimson
    Participant
    6

    You’ve already done the hard work and taken the most critical step, you’ve come to an understanding. In the likely event that the relationship ceases, you will already be a step ahead. My advice would be to simply terminate the lease and relationship at the nearest practical time.

    Consider the following:
    You’ve made ~$10000, it can be assumed that you’ve spent at least $100/wk on her in the last year – $5200.

    2015 | -$5200 Relationship Expenses -$5200 Personal Expenses | 0 | +$0 |

    2016 | -$5200 Personal Expenses | 0 | +$5200 Personal Growth/Assets |

    By simply substituting the relationship with a roommate or a cheaper house and by otherwise keeping your living expenses the same, you’ve suddenly got $5200 to invest in yourself.

    This is an example, and only you will know your exact financial circumstances.

    Finances aside, you open up a world of opportunity. While you’re living with her now; should you decide to make a change, you can begin planning. This is where you begin to make real progress. Are you interested in studying or learning a particular skill set? You said you’d like to go traveling, then go! Have you got a business idea? Maybe find a new hobby, or reconnect with old friends.

    Your free time will increase significantly. You will be able to pursue your ideas, develop build and create. Your time spent on exploring your interests and carving your path through life will build a surplus of assets, knowledge and experience.

    I personally consider anything draining time, resources or money to be a debt.

    Here’s another way to look at it:

    As of right now, she is a debt. She (and society) believes that you owe her, and as such, the debt will never be paid. This is an infinite recurring debt (which will likely grow if allowed). The time you are spending will not be repaid. The money you pay her will likely remain unpaid. The mental toll that she can/may/(will) take will not be repaid.

    Should you remove the debt, you will find your resources growing instead of depleting. You can replace thoughts of “if only” or “wouldn’t that be awesome” with “when” and “how”. Your age is irrelevant, as is the time spent in the relationship. What matters is your actions and your path. A simple scenario of something vs nothing, 1 vs -1. Will you align yourself for surplus or remain in deficit?

    Best of luck mate,
    Dave.

    He who can master the present, can conquer anything.

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