2 lines that will short circuit a woman's brain

“Oh, you are such a beautiful, tender loving and caring woman”

“Your husband must be really happy with you”…

…These should carry a warning label.

X11 wrote:

“If I wanted your opinion I would have gave you one”

Or . . .

“When I want your opinion, I’ll rattle my zipper.”.

“You know, you could be a 7 . . . . if you really wanted to be.”.

( even better if she’s a 9 )

Or as a response when she tries to insult you . . .

“I knew there was a reason you liked me.”.

“That’s never gonna get you laid.”.

Freaks them out to just flip the script 180 degrees.

—

One of my favorites:

“Just LISTEN!!!”

“I’m not your boyfriend/husband. I don’t HAVE to listen to you.”.

One line.
Two letters.
No! It’s the answer that fries their egos and shocks the hamster right off the wheel!

X11 wrote:

Why did the women cross the road?

F~~~ if I know, who let the bitch out of the kitchen.

What’s the difference between a women and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t fart when you take the meat out.

Definition of a perfect women?

3 foot high and a square head, that way you can rest a beer on their head while they are giving you a blow job.

Definition of women, life support system for a vagina.

Why do doctors hit babies on the butt when they are born?

So the dicks fall off the stupid ones.

There ya go!!! Hahah!!!

The fridge joke.

Keymaster wrote:

“I’m not your boyfriend/husband. I don’t HAVE to listen to you.”.

“Your pussy has no f~~~ing control over me”
Spoken to a member of my X-wife’s hive which caused a 6 month swarm. NFG !
The married c~~~ was drunk and demanding me to do something intimate with her.
X thought it was funny at the time. After the full hive membership convened later, it was determined that I was in the wrong for using such crude language.
(the c~~~ was in her third marriage and the word “pussy” was off limits) LOLOL

I like to keep it simple.
“You were a 10 before you opened your mouth”, then look very disappointed as you walk away.

xanthine wrote:

“You’re not attractive enough to be acting like that. Get over yourself.”

Used this on a c~~~ in a bar once. Left her standing there speechless.

“You’re creeping me out.”

Or any variation of calling her creepy. They like using it on guys they find unattractive in the extreme, so it’s always fun to throw that one at them. Because of the way they use that word it’s like it has some extra knockout power.

This 26-year-old entitled bitch in my office at work (fake tan, freckly, and now has noticeable cellulite on the tops of her legs) was giving it some severe jaw-movement, so I just told her in the office that I think that freckles are creepy on a woman. Bitch shut-up after that. She even was stupid enough to admit that her tanned-looking face was due to just make-up (she is naturally pale all over, like other English girls). Half the time, she isn’t intelligent enough to know what she’s admitting; but I suppose she is more honest than a lot of bitches out there.

At what age do girls get cellulite on the tops of their legs? It’s quite off-putting to see, but I know it’s a natural thing, due to excessive fat. I suppose it happens to all of them, eventually.

It’sallbs wrote:

Why was she in such a short skirt at work that you could see the tops of her legs and as often is the case at my workplace half their arse even when they are fat.

Yes. Then, recently, she has been wearing a top that goes down to just below the tops of her legs, with nothing else covering her legs, and bending-over/stretching, for attention. It nearly put me off my ham sandwich!!!

I’ve noticed that the uglier birds and land-whales show-off more of their bodies than the good-looking girls do; presumably because the good-looking girls don’t need to and because the ugly birds want some attention.

2 lines that will short circuit a woman’s brain – here’s mine:

1. Can you pay for this?

2. You know the light switch also turns them off, too?